One shot with cas and dean
Dean drove the impala down the road. Riding shotgun sat Castiel nervous in his seat. The awkward silence was killing him. The last hunt had been tough on them. It almost cost cas's life.
"Dean, I..." Castiel starts. Dean keep staring at the road, pretending he did not hear the angel. Deep inside he knew he was being childish and irrational, but he needed it. Needed to stay angry a little longer.
"I know I was careless, but Dean.." Cas try again. "No Cas, it was stupid. You could have died. If he were a better shooter.." Dean was upset. He could not understand it. Why did Cas sacrifice everything to protect him. Him the broken down hunter, when Cas was this awesome Angel. It made him angry, that Cas would throw away his life like that. For him.
At the same time Cas was wondering in the passenger seat. He knew Dean did not value himself, not the way he should. Cas would do everything for the human beside him. Nontheless his life. The world needs Dean Winchester, even though he do not know that.
"But he was not." Cas says determined. He hates the way Dean picks on himself. In his eyes he were perfect. Or as good as a person with his baggage can be. No matter what it was his choice. If Dean needed to be angry at him it was fine. From the very first time he saw Dean he knew he was special. Different from all the humans he had seen before. His horrible past, leeding into the hunting present. He dragged him out of hell, knowing that his future would be even worse.
But he did not expect it. After hanging around Dean he changed. Started caring about the people, spite their flaws and bad sides. He saw the good. In Dean there was so much bad, pain and misery. But still he managed to see the light. The rightous man.
Besides Sam Cas was the person that Dean cared most for. After the last years he had growned close with him. Closer than with anyone else than his brother. He was family. That was the reason behind his rage. He could not bear to loose more family. Seeing them slowly slipping away from him was breaking him. When Cas stepped infront of him time slowed down. As the bullet came closer to his body his anxiety grew.
when Cas fell to the ground he shot the man. It would do nothing, but he did not care. He needed to check on Cas. The black cloud flew out from the man and through the window. Lost out in the human world. Dean fell to his knees, looking over Cas to find the wound. It stroke his shoulder. Relived Dean gets up. He walks over to the window, rips off a piece of cloth, before walking back. Slowly he fold it into a tiny square and puts it over the wound.
"But what if he had been." Dean interrups. He knew this life was dangerous. Throughout the years as a hunter he had lost more people than he could count. It never gets easier, they say it does but its a lie. For him it hurted more. He tried to keep a distance, not grow to tight with people. But Cas were special, when Dean first saw him he was pretty scary. He fired his shotgun and tried to kill the creature infront of him. Quickly he saw it was all for nothing, the bullets did no damage.
After that moment Cas had always been there. Time and time again choosing to stay by Deans side. He often wondered why. Especially that night in the ally. Cas had pushed Dean up against a wall. Angry about his betrayal. He sacrificed everything for him, Dean never truly got that. How his actions could have so many consequences.
"You can't be angry at me Dean. It was my choice. Just because you care so little of yourself doesn't mean I do." Said Cas angry back. Maybe this could help Dean realize he is not worthless. A first step at least.
Dean was suprised. Of course it is Cas's choice what to do with his life, but that was stupid. He knew if Cas had died protecting Dean he could not live with himself anymore. Not knowing his death were on him. That list was long enough already.
Dean took a quick look at Cas. Looked straight into his eyes. Of course the angel was right. But it did not really matter to him. After looking some seconds he turned his attention back to the road. He was not sure what to answer, so in stead he put on some music.
In his side vision he saw Cas shake his head in dissapointment. They stayed silent the rest of the way back.