'Cause Every night I lie in bed,
The Brightest colors fill my head,
A million dreams are keeping me awake.
-Benji Pasek, Justin Paul
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Introduction
This was my first-ever NaNoWriMo project. If you don't know what that is, don't worry, a lot of people don't. It's mostly just talked about within different writing communities. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, a non-profit that does writing camps and that sort of thing. And once a year, every November, it challenges writers and authors to draft an entire novel in a month.
Being it my first time, I decided to undertake what I had once assumed to be a relatively easy project. I had had the idea bouncing around in my head for a while-What was Smalls thinking this entire time? See, Smalls, as a character, has always fascinated me. I write more frequently about him than any other character in the series. If you open up my profile, you'll see that most of my stories, if not explicitly about him, do at least have him as one of the main characters. So, I assumed this would be easy. Long story short, it wasn't as simple as I first thought.
When I decided to do it for NaNo, it was my third crack at the story.
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Smalls is a difficult character. He just is. If you've read the series-and I'm assuming you have-then you'll understand that we just don't know a lot about him. His childhood is a mystery, he's not a naturally open character, and he's obviously mature for his age. All of this, combined with a heavily introverted personality, makes him a hard character to work with from the outside (Not to mention being a difficult person in general). I had my work cut out for me.
So, I suppose the whole point for this is; Smalls can be interpreted in many ways. For this story, as you will soon discover, I decided to put more emphasize on his youth and self-doubt. Something that, I think, is often forgotten when writing him (Something that I also see as a mistake) is that he's still, well, a kid. He messes up, he makes mistakes. He still needs adult guidance sometimes. While the outside world might not see this, it's very prevalent in Smalls' own isolated world. And he is isolated.
He's been through a lot and clearly has trauma before meeting Heather and Picket. He has massive amounts of pressure on him from all sides, and he doesn't stay in one place long enough to really connect with anyone. I've heard the Cole and Heyna argument before, but I honestly noticed little connection between them, and they were more likely acquaintances. Point is, Smalls is a lonely kid.
He's good at politics, not friends.
The more you look at it, the more interesting it becomes. Then you can draw conclusions about his family life, which is obviously miserable. He appears to resent and hate his position in the first book, despising Winslow and angry about the whole affair.
He's a troubled, lonely kid.
He's put under immense pressure to preform and be perfect, and his, ah, unique situation distances him further from even the possibility of any kind of friendship. Not only that, but he's in the middle of a war that he's a major leader in, and is constantly being scrutinized and judged by the other leaders.
Every move he makes is subject to debate. Everything he does could make or break his life.
This is how I choose to portray Smalls in this story. Not as the world sees him-but how he sees himself, how he sees the world, and what it all means to him.
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Finally, I have one other thing to mention. In literature, I believe, the best stories are the ones that make us ache with longing for Jesus and the day he returns, bringing with a new earth and a new heaven. Our own 'Mended Wood', if you like allegories.
In this story, I portrayed that in what might be a different way then what many of you might expect. I see the Natalians as a kind of Israelites, waiting for the day when a King like Flint but greater will come and restore the right order to everything-in other words, get rid of sin. Jupiter was not this King, though some thought he might have been. Smalls will not be this King, and he knows this now. He can only hope along with everyone else and look forward to the day the true King will come. I suppose it is like this verse from Psalms-
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"Israel, put your hope in the LORD, For with the LORD is unfailing love, and with him is full redemption. He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins."
Psalms 130: 7-8
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This is a story about a lot of things. There's hardship and pain, but there's also hope. That's what S.D Smith's books are generally about-hope. Getting back up when you're knocked down. Not giving up simply because it's hard, living as if every day is your last because you can't predict tomorrow.
Looking forward, not backwards.
Enjoy,
Ella