Enjoy the Cloweness!
Ch. 5 Full of Hope & Pain
(CLARE)
I open the washroom door wrapped in my robe and hear voices downstairs. When I got in the shower this morning it was quiet downstairs. Mom and Glen were quietly eating breakfast and I thought Jake was still sleeping.
"What are your plans today?" Mom asks.
"We're just going to hang out here, maybe go out for lunch," Jake says.
"You're welcome to stay for dinner Jenna, I'm making Clare's favorite chicken and we have plenty," Mom offers. I was about to go into my room, but I pause to hear Jenna's answer.
"Thank you, Mrs. Martin, I would love to," Jenna replies.
I go in my room and quietly close the door, if Jenna and Jake are going to be here all day, and if she's going to be here for dinner then I don't want to be here. My first instinct is to call Owen, but he and Fitz are with friends today. With Fitz there I can't spend the night. I guess I could call Alli, but Jenna lives there too and I'm trying to avoid her. I grab my phone and text Adam.
Me: Please save me! I need somewhere to be until after dinner.
I set my phone down and begin getting dressed. Adam sends a reply after a couple of minutes.
Adam: Drew and I will be there in ten.
I quickly get dressed, brush my hair, and pack some things into a bag. I don't know if Audra will actually let me stay the night, but it's worth packing a bag just in case. When Adam texts to say they are there I run down the stairs. I call goodbye as I run out the door, I don't even stop to see people just run.
"Thanks," I smile at the brothers as I get in their car.
"Jenna must be over," Adam says as Drew starts driving.
"All day, I heard Jake saying they were going to hang out all day and then my mom invited Jenna to stay for dinner," I groan. My phone alerts me to a text and I pull my phone from my purse.
"You'll hang with us all day, we had no plans," Drew says as I look at the text from my mom.
Mom: Clare, it was very rude to just run out like that, especially when we have company.
Me: I've had these plans for over a week. I told you last week I was hanging out with Adam today.
Okay, so I didn't, but Mom won't remember, she's hardly paid attention to my life since before the wedding.
"I packed a bag in case we can convince your mom to let me sleep over. If not, I'll just stay at your house until I absolutely have to be home," I tell them as I slip my phone back into my purse.
"I'm sure we can talk our parents into letting you stay," Adam grins.
When we park at the Torres house, we all go into the basement and Adam turns on the TV. We start looking at movies to watch when my stomach growls and Drew tells me to help myself to anything in the kitchen. I eat breakfast and we watch a couple of movies, when the second movie is almost over Katie shows up. She doesn't seem happy that I'm here even though I'm sitting next to Adam and nowhere near Drew. She comes in and drapes herself in Drew's lap kissing him hard before she even says hi to Adam and me.
"Let's go out Drew, there's no reason to hang in your basement on a beautiful Saturday," Katie says tugging at Drew's hand.
"Sure," Drew nods although he really doesn't sound like he wants to.
"You want to see what Eli is up to? We could grab some lunch downtown, hit the bookstore," Adam suggests after Drew and Katie leave.
"Sounds good," I nod.
Adam calls Eli and he comes to pick us up, the three of us spend the rest of the afternoon downtown. Adam and I are home for dinner and his parents say I can stay over and sleep on the sofa in the basement. I text my mom that I'm spending the weekend at Dad's, hoping I can stay all weekend here.
Drew returns home right at curfew, he doesn't look that happy. He doesn't tell us why though, just sits down and watches the rest of the movie with us. When the movie is over Adam helps me make a bed on the sofa and they say goodnight. I sleep quite well but can't help thinking about and dreaming about Owen. It feels like forever since we had any real time together.
Sunday, I help Audra make pancakes and we all eat breakfast together. After breakfast I help Audra clean while the boys do chores. While we're cleaning Audra says I can sleep over again and go to school with the brothers in the morning. I explained all about the uncomfortableness at home and preferring to sleep in the ravine rather than home. She didn't like the thought of me in the ravine. Adam showers when they are done doing chores. Drew and I go down to the basement, he puts on the TV as we get comfortable on the sofa. Drew is planning to shower when Adam is done, but Katie comes through the door and glares at us.
"Where's Adam?" Katie asks.
"In the shower," Drew replies as she sets herself in his lap.
"Let's go out again, I feel like lunch at The Dot," Katie says tugging at Drew.
"We went out yesterday Katie and when Adam is out of the shower I'm going to shower. I just want to chill at home today," Drew says.
"Fine, then I'll stay with you here," Katie remarks, sitting so that she's between me and Drew. We were already sitting a foot apart, but she still felt the need to separate us.
I see Drew roll his eyes, but he doesn't argue. When Adam comes downstairs Drew goes upstairs. Adam says hi to Katie and takes the remote to put on a movie. Katie doesn't leave until her mom calls to have her come home, and even then; she forces Drew to take her home. While Drew is out Adam and I make the bed on the sofa again. After the boys go upstairs to bed, I use the washroom down here to shower. As I'm falling asleep, I think of Owen again. I didn't hear from him all weekend, though he was probably busy with Fitz and their friends.
Monday morning Audra makes sure that I'm up as soon as the boys are. We eat breakfast and Drew drives us all to school, Katie is already here with Marisol and sees me in the car with Drew. Adam gave me the front seat, and Katie is glaring at us again. Her jealousy seems to have reached new heights, despite there being nothing to be jealous of. As soon as we walk up the stairs to where Katie and Marisol stand Katie wraps herself around Drew and kisses him hard. Adam and I both roll our eyes and go into the school.
I don't see Jake all morning, and don't see Jenna until second period, but she doesn't even look in my direction. Right now, that's okay with me, I don't really want to look at her either. I eat lunch with Adam and Eli in the memorial garden, Eli talks about the movie he wants to make. Adam and I agree to help, and we plan to meet this weekend at Adam's to start on the script.
"Clare," Katie calls to me while I'm at my locker at the end of lunch.
"Hi Katie," I reply, grabbing my book and closing my locker.
"I know you're trying to take Drew from me," Katie says, and my mouth drops open. I was at their house all weekend, but I'm one of Adam's best friends. Every time she came over, I was nowhere near Drew.
"Excuse me?" I question too flabbergasted to say anything else.
"You're off the school paper, don't bother coming in this afternoon and stay away from my boyfriend," Katie demands with narrowed eyes. Then she turns on her heel and starts walking off.
"You can't do that Katie," I call after her.
"I'm editor, I can do whatever I want Clare," she grins.
If she thinks I'm just going to backdown and let her do that she's very wrong. I go straight from my locker to Simpson's office and demand to see him. I tell him that Katie just fired me from the paper and why, he tells me he'll speak to Mr. Perino and Katie. He does tell me that Katie doesn't have the right to fire me from the paper, not for thinking I'm trying to take her boyfriend anyway. I barely squeak into third period and Drew cocks an eyebrow at me for being so close to the bell. He doesn't get a chance to ask, and I don't want to tell him just yet. I'm one of the first ones to the newspaper office after school, I want to be there when Katie comes in, she doesn't though. Mr. Perino, however, does come in.
"Katie Matlin has been removed as editor of the school paper. She abused her position and can no longer work on the paper at all. I can appoint a new editor, or you can all elect one," Mr. Perino tells us.
"What did Katie do to get fired?" Chelsea asks.
Mr. Perino looks at me and I nod. "She accused Clare of trying to steal her boyfriend and Katie told Clare she was fired from the paper. Clare went straight to Mr. Simpson and told him what Katie did. This afternoon Mr. Simpson met with me and Katie, she admitted to firing Clare. She tried to say it was for something else, but it was pretty clear she was lying. Abusing her position like that was cause to have her immediately removed, " Mr. Perino explains.
"I nominate Clare as the new editor," Liam speaks up, "it took courage to go to Simpson. It was the right and ethical thing to do. She's very smart and I think she'd make a great editor. An editor we can trust not to have an agenda of her own."
"I second it," Scarlett says.
"All in favor of Clare being the new editor?" Mr. Perino asks and I'm somewhat astonished when everyone raises their hands. "Okay, Clare, you are now editor. I'll let you conduct the meeting."
"Thanks everyone, I didn't go to Simpson to get Katie kicked from the paper or to be editor," I remark as I take the editor's seat.
"We know, but I meant everything I said. You'll be a great editor Clare," Liam says.
I smile and Mr. Perino gives me the logins for everything. After a few minutes to orient myself with Katie's mess of notes and assignments I start my first meeting as editor of the school paper.
(OWEN)
"We are going to crush North Park at our game Friday," K.C. grins while we change after practice Monday morning.
"As if North Park ever has a chance against us," I reply, getting out my phone to message Clare. It feels like forever since I saw her or kissed her. I ask if she needs a ride home and she says she'll meet me at my car. I say goodbye to everyone in the locker room and go out to my car. Clare is leaning against it, the late afternoon sun giving her a golden glow and making her even more beautiful. "Do you have to be home right away?" I question as we get in the car.
"No," she smiles.
"Good, I've been dying to kiss you for days," I remark.
"I would have messaged you this weekend, but I spent all weekend at Adam's."
"Hiding from Jake and Jenna?"
"Yeah, my mom invited Jenna to stay for dinner Saturday morning and I just ran out. I couldn't take being there with them all day. Katie was over Saturday and Sunday, hanging off Drew and forcing him out. She saw us all arrive together this morning and decided I was trying to steal Drew, she tried to fire me from the school paper."
"What a bitch, and how insecure to think you're stealing Drew. You were at the paper this afternoon though," I comment.
"After she tried to fire me at lunch I went straight to Simpson and told him. He called Katie and Mr. Perino to his office after school and Katie was fired. When Mr. Perino told everyone at the meeting, they elected me editor."
"Hey, that's great," I smile, pulling into one of the secluded spots we use often.
"Yeah, it's a big responsibility and it's going to keep me pretty busy," she says as I turn off the car.
"Let's celebrate properly this weekend, I'll find a way for us to be alone together somewhere besides my car."
"Sounds good to me, seems like we've hardly seen each other at all since school started," Clare says before getting out of the car.
I grab the blanket from the trunk and lay it out on the dirt in front of the car. I take Clare's hand pulling her down to the blanket. I want to touch her everywhere, to have my face buried between her legs as I drink her in, but I let her lead. Her arms go around my neck and she pulls me down to her. Leaning on one arm on my side our lips connect, my tongue caressing her lips and she parts her mouth for me.
Her nails gently scratch the back of my neck, my free hand is caressing her arm and along her face. After a few moments she starts to shift underneath me, her fingers move from the back of my neck to my shirt, and she tugs. I break the kiss to sit up and take my shirt off, she does the same, her top comes off and then her bra. Her breasts become revealed, and I salivate at the sight, licking my lips eager to kiss her silken breasts and suck the puckered nipples. Clare bites her lips and her cheeks blush when she sees me looking at her.
"Tell me what you want me to do, you are in charge," I remind her.
"I want you to finger me while we kiss," she says, biting her lip.
"Lie back so I can get your panties off," I grin.
She lies back and hikes her skirt up a little, I slide down and hook my fingers into her panties. Slowly shimmying them down her legs, I set them next to us and open her legs. Propping myself between her legs I lock my eyes with hers, cupping her pussy in my hand first, feeling the heat. Slowly I begin to palm her clit as my lips attach to hers. I part my lips while between her legs my middle finger and index finger scissor her lower lips open. At the first intrusion of my fingers Clare moans and grips tightly to me.
She's so tight it takes a little twisting and pumping with one finger to get her to open up. When her hips start bucking, I add another finger slowly, and then I curl my fingers. Pumping harder while keeping gentle pressure on her pleasure button. I can tell by the way she kisses me, grips and the way her body moves what she likes and what she doesn't. When her core grips around my fingers I know she's close. I rub her clit with my palm, increase my speed and kiss her harder. Her vaginal walls tighten around my fingers as her body goes tense for a brief moment.
She breaks the kiss just as her body breaks into orgasmic quakes of pleasure. She calls my name out, muffling it against my shoulder as she holds onto me tightly. I slow my hand, kissing her neck as she rides out the orgasm. Slowly withdrawing my fingers as she curls into me with a satisfied mewl. Holding her close I lick my fingers clean, kissing her lips only when she's once again breathing normally.
"I should get you home now," I comment, handing her panties to her.
"What about you?"
"Watching you cum all over my fingers was more than enough for me. Anyway, you can make it up to me this weekend," I grin.
She giggles as she starts fixing her clothes. We get back in my car and I drop her close to her house, but not right in front of it since I see Jake's truck. I wait until she's in and then drive home, I don't see Fitz in my room and when I go out to the kitchen he's not there either.
"Where's Fitz?" I ask Tris. He's watching TV and doesn't seem to have noticed I came in until I speak.
"His mom is getting worse; Dad drove him to the hospital. Dad should be back soon, but I'm pretty sure Fitz is staying the night at the hospital," Tris says.
I sigh, I feel terrible that Fitz is losing his mom. Not that they were ever that close, but still she's the only real parent he's ever known. I grab the leftovers Mom left for me and sit at the table to eat, sort of paying attention to the show Tris is watching. My brain drifting between thoughts of Fitz at the hospital and memories of being with Clare this evening.
"How's Fitz?" I ask my dad when he comes in.
"Struggling with losing his mom. I spoke to hospital security; his stepdad is allowed in but any signs of trouble or fighting and he'll be thrown out. Fitz has a cell phone, I added him to our plan until he knows what he's doing next and on his feet. I told him I'd come by in the morning with clothes and things. His mom isn't going to last too much longer, and I think Fitz wants to be with her until she goes."
I nod solemnly looking at my plate of food, suddenly I've lost my appetite. I put it back in the fridge and go down to my room to do homework, but it's hard to concentrate and I give up. I fall asleep first to a wonderful dream of naked Clare, after waking up and using the washroom I fall asleep to a dream of my best friend and being at his mom's funeral. When the gravestone in the dream shifted from his mom's name to my mom's I wake with a gasp. I don't sleep the rest of the night.
(CLARE)
"You're home awfully late Clare," Mom says when I come in the door Monday evening.
"I was made editor of the school paper today, it's a big responsibility and extra work," I reply.
"That's wonderful news Honey, I'm very proud of you. I hope you can make it home on time on Wednesday. It's Jake's birthday and we're having a special dinner. Jenna is coming since the two have become so close," Mom says.
Up until she said Jenna was coming, I was going to say I would try. Now I just grit my teeth, my fist clenches and I release a breath through my nose.
"I don't think I'll make it; I have the paper and a big project with Adam," I tell her. I run up to my room and close the door a little harder than I meant to. I don't quite slam it, but it does make a lot of noise. Just as I came upstairs Jake went into the washroom.
As good as I was feeling after spending time with Owen, I'm feeling pretty lousy now. I spend the rest of the night in my room doing homework, I don't leave it until I'm sure everyone else is in bed. I have a quick dinner of cereal and then shower and get ready for bed. I sleep somewhat restlessly and get ready for school as fast as I can the next morning, but Jake is waiting by his truck when I go outside.
"Get in, we need to talk," Jake says.
I release a breath, I don't really feel like talking, but I know if I try to walk to school he'll follow me. Not to mention that eventually we do have to have this talk, so I suppose it might as well be now. With a heavy sigh I get into the truck and Jake gets into the driver's seat.
"Look, I know things have been hard, that it's weird living together now and a lot of that is my fault for running away for the summer. I was a coward, I admit it, but you can't keep running away now. I really like Jenna, but if us seeing each other is making you so uncomfortable you can't come home I'll tell Jenna we can't see each other," Jake says as he begins driving.
I force out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Jake really likes her, but he's willing to break it off for me. Part of me wants that, a much larger part knows that it's petty and wants them to be happy. Anyway, it's not so much that they're seeing each other that's making me uncomfortable.
"No, don't do that, I can tell that you both really like each other. Maybe you could just not go to your room to…whatever when I'm home. Or text me when you'd like the house for yourself?"
"We can do that," Jake smiles. "Look, I never meant for Jenna being over to make you uncomfortable, I never meant to like her. It just happened, it started with the kiss at the cabin, Alli kissed me too, but I didn't enjoy that one."
"Alli kissed you out of anger, she does that a lot. I know you don't control who you like," I comment thinking of Owen, "it's just been a little weird with you two together. Not to mention very uncomfortable hearing you two…whatevering in your room."
"I'm sorry about that, I wasn't thinking about how you'd feel. Or maybe I was hoping you would be jealous, I don't know, but I didn't start seeing Jenna to hurt you, I really do like her. So, you think we can do this whole sibling thing?"
"I think so," I nod.
"You know for us to even try you have to be home on occasion," Jake says.
I laugh and smile at my stepbrother, "If you stick to your part of the deal, I think I can do that."
"Good, come on I'll buy us both breakfast," Jake grins parking at The Dot.
We greet Spinner when we go in, Jake gets us coffee and pastries. We get back in Jake's truck and he drives us to school. Jake parks and we get out, walking inside together. I leave Jake once we're inside and go to my locker.
"Hey Clare," Adam greets me going to his locker.
"Hi Adam," I grin.
"Hey Clare," Drew says from behind me. I would have jumped out of my skin if I hadn't smelled his aftershave when he walked up with Adam.
"Hi Drew," I grin, turning to look at the elder Torres brother.
"I heard that Katie tried to get you fired because she thought you were trying to steal me. I broke up with her last night and she lost it. I found stolen pain meds in her bag and told her family. Turns out she's been stealing her mom's medication for a while and she's now in rehab. I'm sorry she thought you were trying to steal me and fired you from the paper. Our breakup was a long time coming, but when I heard what she did to you that was the final straw," Drew tells me.
"That's okay Drew, actually, I was elected the new editor, so it worked out pretty well. I never really understood you and Katie together. Can't say I'm sorry you two broke up."
"Yeah, I think the only one that is sorry is Katie, but I won't be seeing her for the next 90 days at least. She probably won't be back at Degrassi until after winter break," Drew remarks.
"Thank goodness," Adam smiles and I laugh.
Drew walks with us and stays in the hall with us. I see Owen headed to his locker, he looks worried and tired. I hope I have nothing to do with that. When I leave second period for lunch Jenna asks if we can talk, so I follow her to an empty classroom.
"I'm sorry Clare, kissing Jake at the cabin was a spur of the moment thing. A spur of the moment moment that I really enjoyed, and so did he. We really like each other but we never should have thrown our budding relationship in your face. We should have thought about how it would make you feel, and I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't be home. Jake said you talked earlier and everything is okay?"
"We did, and I'm sorry too. I ran without talking to Jake or you. I should have stayed and told you how I feel. I should have talked to Jake in the beginning, I should have tried, but I ran the way Jake did over the summer. I'm happy for you two, honestly Jenna. I may have been running but I saw how much you both like each other and how happy you are together."
"Let's forget it, water under the bridge. I know you're busy, but I know it would mean a lot to Jake if you were at his birthday dinner tomorrow," Jenna says.
"I might be a little late, but I'm sure I can make it," I smile.
Jenna smiles and hugs me; we leave the classroom and go to the caf for lunch. The rest of the day is easier now that I've made peace and come to an understanding with both Jake and Jenna.
I thought Jake's birthday dinner was still going to be awkward, but it wasn't so bad. Okay, it was a bit awkward to see Jake and Jenna all googley-eyed at each other, secretly holding hands under the table. Still, it wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it would be. Jake was happy and it was his birthday, so that's what truly mattered.
Between the paper and Owen's practices I hardly see him all week. He gave me a ride home Wednesday and we made out in his car, but I had to get home for Jake's birthday dinner, so we only had a few minutes.
I was really hoping Owen would have a plan for us to be alone this weekend, and when I get pulled into an empty classroom on Thursday, I know it's Owen. He gently pushes me against the wall, his lips crushing to mine and his tongue seeking access. I part my lips, sliding my arms around his neck. We have to be in homeroom in a few minutes and Owen breaks the kiss.
"I know I said we'd get some time alone this weekend, but Fitz's mom died last night," Owen informs me.
"Oh no, poor Fitz, is he okay?"
"Not sure really, he's at my place. Fitz was never close with his mom, but she was the only parent he had. Anyway, the funeral is this weekend, and I need to be there for my best friend," Owen says.
"No, of course, you should be there for Fitz. Tell him I'm thinking of him," I say releasing my arms from Owen's neck.
"I will, he'll appreciate that. You should get to class," Owen says, opening the door and gently pushing me out. I'm sure he'll wait a few moments before he leaves. I'll miss Owen this weekend, but I feel bad Fitz and Owen needs to be with him.
I'll put more chapters as soon as I can. Next going up is a new Klare story, and I'm going to try and get out a couple chapters of Wolf in the Shadows first. This story will pick up with Fitz's mom's funeral most likely.