AN: Sorry for the delay. This chapter has been mostly done, it was just a matter of having some time to finish it. Read, review, enjoy. Again, I would encourage you to head over to AO3 just in case. Also, to the anon reviewer who commented on the friendship between some of my fellow authors and I. Thank you, I love them dearly and would not write if it wasn't for their support and encouragement. I am so lucky.
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Rory walked toward the kitchen and immediately noticed the laughter. It was rare that her house wasn't just chaos in the morning. Someone scrambling to get lunch put together, or missing library books, often times there were arguments about water bottles and after school plans, some days it was even just about the weather. She could hear her kids now though, laughing and telling jokes, and then there was him. His laugh echoed through the house even when he wasn't there, he was everywhere.
"Mom!" Riley squealed as Rory came into the kitchen from the hallway. She had tried to be light on her feet, tried to savour every last moment of listening to the joy that was coming from the house instead of the usual chaos, but it had been short lived. "Daddy is here! Did you know he was here? He said he had a sleepover!"
Rory nodded her head and let out a yawn. Her eyes focused on the clock and she realized instantly that Logan had taken it upon himself to let her sleep in. The bus would be there soon, and all she needed to do was sit there and drink her coffee and say goodbye to the kids. Lunch was made, breakfast was done, and maybe most importantly, coffee was made. "Thank you," Rory smiled as he handed her a mug. "Yes Ri," Rory had a sip of the hot beverage, savouring the fact that Logan hadn't forgotten how she liked it. "Daddy came back to town late," she caught herself before she could say he had come home. This was no longer his home, "and he wanted to see you, so we thought he should sleep over so he could see you and your brother in the morning."
"He made me toast with Nutella and bananas," Riley proudly showed her plate to her mother. "Do you think Daddy can have dinner with us?" She asked next as she returned to her chair, shouting off suggestions as quickly as they came to her head as her parents both chuckled.
"Good thing she does't charge by the word," Rory smiled. "How're you doing Christian? Sleep ok?" He was always quiet, always a little bit more reserved in the face of what was going on. She imagined she might get an earful from him later. He would ask why Logan had stayed unexpectedly, why he hadn't called first. She knew that Riley loved every moment that she and Logan were in the same place, but Christian, he remembered more of the struggles. As much as they may have tried to hide their problems from their children, he wasn't unaware of what was going on around him.
"I'm tired," he shrugged.
"You don't have anything on the go tonight, so you can relax. On the weekend, we have nothing going on, and next weekend we have the Christmas party for Grandma and Grandpa," she referred to the HPG Christmas party. It was Logan's weekend when the party took place, so she imagined he would bring them into the city on Friday after school and bring them home sometime Sunday. She would hire a car for the ride in, attend the party and then go spend the night with Paris. They would wake up and go for brunch and they would catch up. She had never imagined how hard adult relationships were, and it became exponentially harder when you had kids and custody arrangements and jobs. Paris and Doyle had split up about 6 months before Rory and Logan. In some ways it felt like everyone around then uncoupled at the same time. Lane and Zack had separated, Honor and Josh even had a trial separation but managed to work things out. The most shocking non-breakup was Colin, who somehow seemed to be happier than ever with his wife. They'd met when he was at law school and she was at med school. Two boys and a white picket fence later, the pair were just as in love as the first time Rory had met Megan at a barbecue years earlier.
"Do we have to go to the party?"
"We go ever year buddy," Logan jumped in and Rory was thankful. It was hard for her to explain why they had to go to these kinds of things, but the truth was, they would spend hours with their cousins and have a blast, it just might take some time for Christian to warm up to the idea. "You have fun," he pointed out.
"I guess." Christian played with his food for a moment before Rory joined them at the table, "do I have to wear a stupid tuxedo?"
"Can I wear a pretty dress?" Riley squealed.
"You can," Rory told her as Logan began to speak.
"Nana was hoping to send you a dress," he said at the same time, his mother had called him the week before and said she found something and had ordered it in Riley's size. He knew better than to argue with his mother when it came to this stuff. He would accept the dress and ask Riley if she wanted to wear it, if she didn't, he wasn't going to force her to no matter how much his mother may've wanted it. "I think she found something when she was out shopping." Rory tried not to think of how much the dress must've cost and instead just smiled as Riley embraced her father. "You guys want me to drive you to school? I've gotta head back to my place."
"That would be great," Rory told him, she was relieved that the kids were happy about it too. Not that they had ever turned down time with their father. Even an extra 20 minutes in the car would keep the pair of them happy.
"Will you pick us up and have dinner here too? Please?" Riley asked again, it hadn't gone unnoticed to the little girl that her parents hadn't answered her question earlier.
"I can't pick you up from school," he hated the disappointment on both of their faces, but he could get away with getting into the office late, but he did need to show his face. "But if it's alright with Mom," he was hopeful this wasn't going to get him a tongue-lashing later, "I can come over for dinner still and stay until you guys are in bed."
"Mommy has plans with Grandma," Rory and Logan had made the plan previously that he would come for dinner, Rory would meet Lorelai in Hartford to look for some new items for the inn, and then Rory would be home after Logan got some alone time with the kids. "So unless I'm leaving you home alone, you'll have to hang out with him." Rory had suggested it. She had suggested he come over for dinner with the kids after school. It wasn't completely selfless. If he came over for dinner it meant she didn't have to go get the kids after, it meant that she didn't have to press him about coming home sooner on a school night, and she knew Riley would be thrilled that he could put her to bed.
"Is Grandma coming over?" Christian broke his unusual morning silence over the thought of getting to spend some time with Lorelai.
Rory shook her head and sipped her coffee. "Not this time buddy," she told him. It was probably for the best. Lorelai hadn't quite given up hope that Rory and Logan would work things out and Rory was not in the mood for the comments. She didn't care when they were alone, but she hated them in front of her kids. Of course Lorelai didn't do it on purpose, but she wasn't exactly known for thinking before she spoke.
"Alright," Logan began putting food in bags and filling water bottles, he tried to ignore the feeling in his stomach over the fact that he was a guest. He was a guest with his family, in the home he once lived in, the home he brought his kids home from the hospital to…it was no longer his. "Come on guys, last bites, bring your dishes to the sink," he wasn't going to leave Rory with the mess he had made, not anymore at least. There certainly was a time when he would've, and look where that had gotten him. "Bathroom, wash your hands, shoes on and I will meet you at the door." The kids began to move and he looked at Rory, "car should be here in 5 to take them," he had to order a car because his cars were at his house and he didn't want to ask Rory to take hers.
"Thank you," Rory smiled as she said goodbye to the kids, her eyes remaining connected with her ex-husband for another moment. "i'll see you after dinner."
"See you after dinner."
xxx
Sipping her coffee and wandering the fourth bedding store of the afternoon had left Rory feeling more than a little bit grumpy. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy spending time with her mother, she did, but she was reaching the point in the afternoon that she was pretty certain that white sheets were white sheets were shite sheets and they didn't need to look at another store for them. But Lorelai had been insistent, and so they were in their fourth store for the afternoon and Rory was done.
"I've gotta head home soon Mom," Rory told her as she pulled down at the hem of her cream coloured cable knit sweater, when she had seen it at J Crew a few weeks earlier it had reminded her of the chunky sweater she had when she first joined the paper at Yale, although this one wasn't nearly as itchy. "I have to pick up my dress."
"What do you need a dress for?" Lorelai was lost in her own world, her fingers running over sheets, critiquing their advertised thread counts and wondering to herself how many washes they would really last while still providing the level of luxury that guests expected at the inn.
Rory didn't dare to comment on just how much like Emily Gilmore this moment felt. It threw her right back to college when samples and couch options and draperies had simply appeared in the pool house and while Rory couldn't have cared less about thread count or how many rubs a material had been tested against, Emily and Lorelai both seemed to care an awful lot. "For the Huntzberger gala," Rory answered simply. She checked her watch and noted that she did need to leave within the hour, but unless her mother started moving a bit faster, she would plan her escape sooner.
"Isn't Saks just around the corner?" Lorelai challenged her, raising her eyebrow as she extended the fitted sheet she was holding to her daughter. "I think I like this one, what do you think?"
Rory didn't want to admit that it was nice, that it did in fact feel better than the others they had looked at. Maybe not all the others, but at least the last 3 sets Rory had rubbed between her thumb and forefinger. "Feels good," she nodded her head in agreement, "and it's not too white." The ever elusive right shade of white had plagued Rory for most of adulthood. Too white for a wall, not white enough for a wedding dress, and apparently the sheets currently covering all of the beds at The Dragonfly were all a bit too yellow. "I didn't buy a dress," Rory answered the previous statement, "I'm not going to Saks. I need to go pick it up form a rental place."
"You rented a dress?" Lorelai had no problem with the concept, in fact she had seen it all over her Facebook feed lately. It was a very in thing to do.
"I don't exactly need new formalwear," Rory responded. She had a closet full of dresses and gowns, unfortunately most of which these people had seen her in, which is why she had turned to renting a dress for this occasion. She just couldn't stomach spending a small fortune on a dress for one night, and it wasn't as though she was looking to draw attention to herself. Quite the opposite in fact which is how she had settled for a black, long sleeved gown by Mac Duggal. It was velvet and v-neck and Rory was sure by the photos online she would love it, and maybe most importantly, she wouldn't draw too much attention to herself in a sea of people she knew professionally from her life as an author, and personally from her former marriage. "Plus, it's bad for the environment. Better to recycle. I'm actually going to talk to them about buying some of my old pieces from me," she had floated the idea to the manager when she had called and she had agreed that they could make an appointment to have someone come out and 'survey her closet', whatever the hell that meant. "But I need to get there, try it on, make sure the shoes work with it," she may've been happy renting a dress but she wasn't quite ready for shoes shared beyond her mother and a select few close friends. "Then I have to get home before bedtime."
"There are at least 3 hours until bedtime," Lorelai pointed out, it wasn't quite 5 yet and she knew her granddaughter at the very least wasn't exactly keen on going to bed. "Plus, Logan will be happy to have some extra time with the kids. It's been weeks hasn't it?"
Rory sighed. She had avoided telling her mother about the impromptu sleepover the night before. Not because it was a problem, not because she was worried about what her mother might think, she simply didn't want to hear it. But lying had never been her strong suit, especially when it came to her mother. "He came over last night after the kids were in bed. He just missed them. So he slept in the guest room and got their ready for school this morning," she said as quickly as she could get it out, ignoring the widening eyes on her mother. "So what you need 36 sets of these?" Rory tried to turn her attention back to the bedding at hand.
"Good math skills. Ivy League pays off," Lorelai nodded to the saleswoman who had been lingering nearby in hopes of closing the sale on overpriced sheets. "Seriously kid? A sleepover?"
"You make it sound like it was dirty or something. He slept in a guest room across the house and he saw his kids. I want him to see his kids. He loves them. He is a wonderful father. He just wasn't the best husband."
Lorelai bit her tongue for a moment. In her opinion he wasn't not the best husband, in fact many people would've argued he was a wonderful husband…the problem was he wasn't around as often as he needed to be, and while Lorelai didn't think Rory had many other options by the time all of the walls were tumbling down, she wished for her grandchildren, and for her only daughter that they had been able to sort things out. "And what does Jess think about that?"
Rory inhaled. "He doesn't know," she admitted, continuing quickly before her mother could get another word in as the saleswoman reappeared with an order slip and a credit card machine. "I'm meeting him for a drink after I pick up the dress, and I will tell him. He knows it's about the kids. He'll be fine." Rory hoped it would be fine. Jess hadn't been particularly impressed whenever Logan had come up in the weeks since the restaurant run in, but Rory had chosen not to get into it with him. There was a line. On one side of that line were her children and their father, on the other side of the line, there was her relationship with Jess. Eventually she might have to blur those lines, but she wasn't there yet.
Lorelai didn't say anything, she provided the associate her information for delivery, thankful that she didn't have to carry all those sheets home with her today. She could only imagine Luke's reaction if she came fumbling into the house with dozens of sheets, he'd be even more sure she had lost her mind. "Look, far be it from me to tell anyone how to have a successful relationship," self deprecation was normally her friend in these situations. She would poke just enough fun at herself that maybe Rory would ignore the fact that as a woman who only got with the man she had been in love with for decades later in life and take some advice from her. "Hiding the truth doesn't solve anything. I have the divorce papers to prove it."
Her mother had been right of course, Jess hadn't been thrilled, so walking back into her house she felt nothing but relief. Jess of course was mostly upset about the fact that he had yet to meet her children. She had argued that Jess had met her children years earlier when he had shown up to Christmas in Stars Hollow. Riley had been a baby and Christian certainly had no recollection of the meeting, and then there was the fact that Rory knew it wasn't just the act of meeting her children. He wanted to meet them as her boyfriend, and Rory was nowhere near ready for that.
"I'm home," Rory called as she walked in the door from the garage to the mudroom. She didn't hear anything at first which was a relief. It gave her the opportunity to put her purse down, slip the garment bag into the closet and take off her shoes and coat before she was bombarded by children. "Ri? Chris?" Rory went towards the great room which was empty as well. It was the sound of giggles though that led Rory to where she needed to be. The basement. She opened the door, thankful that it did manage to keep the sound out and she quietly made her way downstairs. She hated the lump that made it's way to her throat and the butterflies in her stomach as her eyes settled on them. There was a huge u-shaped sectional in the basement facing a projection screen. Moana was playing, the kids were wrapped around Logan with blankets and pillows, a container of popcorn had tipped over beside Christian and somehow they had all dozed off. She knew Logan must be tired. He hadn't exactly relaxed since his flight had landed, and she knew the kids would've been bouncing off the walls to see him, so maybe it was no surprise that they'd crashed. "C'mere sweetheart," Rory leaned down and pealed Riley off her father after she turned off the television. Riley squirmed for a moment but never said a word, ultimately keeping her head on Rory's shoulder which gave Rory a bit of hope that the little tornado would stay asleep and maybe for a change it would be early. "Logan," Rory whispered. He didn't move. She could hear his nose whistle as his chest rose and fell, his snoring had never really bothered her, it was somewhat endearing after all the years they'd known each other. "Logan," she repeated and this time both him and Christian stirred a bit. She carefully lifted her leg, mindful of her balance as she kept her grip on Riley and jabbed her big toe into Logan's side which caused him to jolt upright and declare that he was awake even if it was an outright lie. "Can you get him upstairs?" She nodded to their son who had recently become just a little bit too heavy for Rory to carry up two sets of stairs.
"Yeah, yeah," Logan shook his head, trying to adjust to his surroundings. "Guess we all dozed off," he couldn't be sure which of them had fallen asleep first but he was pretty sure it was him.
Rory smiled and began making her way upstairs. She took Riley to her room and carefully put the little girl down, covering her with her blanket even though she hadn't bothered switching her into pyjamas. Rory knew from experience that if Riley woke up, she'd be ready to party for the night, and really what was the difference between her cotton leggings and dress or pyjamas?
She finished up and went to check on Christian. Logan was inside his room doing the same thing. Lingering for an extra moment. It wasn't lost on Rory how quickly the kids were growing up, she had to imagine there was a bit of extra sting for Logan. The days of movie nights and snuggles, especially with Christian were becoming less and less common.
"Sorry about that," Logan exited the bedroom running a hand through his mussed up hair. "We had an early dinner…the kids were excited."
"No worries," Rory told him. It wasn't a big deal, even if she was a little bit disappointed that she hadn't gotten to spend much time with them. "Did you have fun?"
Logan nodded, "we finished homework," he assured her, "I packed lunch for tomorrow," he could barely believe he had done the lunches twice in a row because he was certain he had collectively done them once throughout their marriage. Prepping the kids for school or daycare or playdates or sleepovers with grandparents had always fallen strictly in Rory's domain. They stood in silence for a moment, both lingering just outside the bedroom of their eldest child. The little boy who had captured their hearts and changed their worlds and seemingly grown up over night. "I miss this Ace," he let his hand drop between them, his pinky quickly latched around hers, something they had done when Christian had declared they were not allowed to hold hands because he was supposed to hold hands with Rory when he was a toddler. "I miss us. I miss you."
Rory stood frozen. Her pinky had locked with his and she stood for a moment. Her eyes filled with tears and she wasn't sure what would come out of her mouth if she spoke, so she waited. When she did, her voice faltered and cracked, giving away just how had it was for her to get the words out. "Logan, I can't."