AN: Look at my muse go! Just a few more chapters until we get a little bit of something happening between these two. Read, review, enjoy. I will also continue reminding you all until the end of this story, after I am done posting this, all of my future works will be on A03. This includes a new multi-chapter posted last night. I understand that it takes some getting used to, and I respect that it is not for everyone but I just want anyone who wants to know, to know where to look for my work moving forward. No pressure.

To the troll who is really enjoying commenting, thank you for taking your time to comment, I don't think you will ever find what you are looking for in these stories.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter Five

By the time afternoon hit, Rory was at least certain that she was not hungover, although it had taken some time (and plenty of greasy food courtesy of her best friend) to get there. The drive back to Hartford seemed to take forever and although she would never admit it out loud, she was excited to have a bit of time to decompress before the kids got home.

Walking in the door to her house she felt instant relief, something about being home was like being wrapped in a warm hug that kept Rory feeling calm. She put her things away, carefully putting her dress in the mudroom closet so she could return it in a couple of days. She put her jewelry and shoes away and then put in a load of laundry before she checked the fridge. She had started a grocery list on Friday afternoon but she had put off actually doing groceries, or alternatively placing a grocery order, so now with a few hours until her kids returned and the remnants of a hangover, Rory also needed to get groceries. She made sure everything was tucked away, her Louis Vuitton Keepall went back where it belonged in the perfectly organized closet. Shelves had been built specifically to suit the weekend bags, purses, handbags and clothes that she had accumulated throughout her marriage. It seemed like such a waste. One half was still empty, his clothes never hung back up because their marriage had ended before the renovation was done.

Rory went out to her car, the too big Range Rover hybrid that she had gotten when her lease was up on the Volvo she had when the kids were younger. She loaded her reusable bags in, thankful that for a change she didn't forget them and drove the 8 or so miles to Whole Foods to begin her shopping. These were the tasks she had always found to be painfully mundane when she was married and that hadn't changed since her divorce. There was something about grocery shopping, signing the kids up for camp, extracurriculars, it bored her to death. Rory wanted nothing more in that moment as she put two containers of organic strawberries into her cart than to be in the little sitting room off of her bedroom with a cup of coffee beside her and her laptop in her lap, writing away. Hell, she would even write with a pen and paper from time to time. That was what she wanted to do, not contemplate whether or not Riley would eat blueberries if she bought them that week. She grabbed a lasagna that she could just pop in the oven that she knew both Riley and Christian liked, they would have that on Monday, she was thankful Logan was feeding them before they came home. It meant she wouldn't have to justify eating a plate of sushi, no comments about how gross it was from her children.

"Jess, hey," Rory was breathless as she answered her phone, sticking it between her ear and her shoulder as she navigated the grocery store. If she was like the other Stepford Wives in town, she would've had her AirPods in, but they were somewhere in her car and so she was fumbling through the aisles grabbing what she needed while she spoke.

"Hey yourself, you busy?"

His voice was warm and it was soft and she hadn't expected that she would want to hear it. Especially after last night with William. God, she had to tell him about William. There wasn't hat much to tell but she supposed the real problem was that if he hadn't put a stop to it, she would've slept with him. "I'm at Whole Foods actually," Rory put a container of milk in her cart, "can I call you from the car?"

"Actually I'm in Hartford," he explained quickly. "Thought I could bring you a coffee."

Rory stopped in her tracks, nearly bumping into the older gentleman in front of her as she tried to regain her wits before she grabbed the eggs she needed. "You're here? I mean, yeah, yeah…coffee sounds great. We could meet at Starbucks or something? The Farmer's Grind," she suggested.

"You're getting groceries, no?"

"Uh yeah, yeah I am."

"Why don't I meet you at your place then? So the food doesn't go bad?"

There was no reason to say no. It made absolutely no sense to say no. Rory had avoided having him in her house for months and apparently it was all coming to a head. "You have the address?" She exhaled. Her kids weren't home. The kids weren't home and she and Jess needed to talk, it only seemed logical. "Sure, I'll be there in half an hour," she hung up and hoped that she could be home in half an hour. Glancing at her cart she was pretty sure that she had everything on her list. She couldn't actually cross reference her list because she had left it not he counter, but she was pretty sure she had the basics. She had everything she needed for lunch for the kids for the week, and at least a few days worth of dinner…plus she had coffee at home, so she would be fine. Rory paid for her groceries and loaded them in the back of the car. She knew that the chat with Jess would be uncomfortable. She knew it would hurt and although she had been a willing participant the night before, she hadn't wanted to hurt him. She cared for Jess. She had always cared for him, since they were kids…and maybe she always would, but she was sure they both knew they weren't right for each other.

"Hey," Rory exhaled as she stepped out of her car. Normally she would pull into the garage, but seeing his car pulled to the left side of the driveway, she thought it was best to meet him outside. Jess walked towards her and gave her a kiss on the cheek as she opened the trunk, "think I can put you to work?" She didn't really know what else to say as she walked ahead and unlocked the front door and they brought the first of the bags in.

"This place is…" Jess looked around. He had picked her up a few times but he had never come inside and walking in was more impressive than he had expected.

"It's too big," Rory swallowed as she walked through the house to the kitchen, Jess following a few steps behind her. "But I mean…we were renovating, and then…when Logan and I split up," she and Jess did not talk about Logan, it was a definite no for them. "It's the only place the kids really know."

"I mean, can't blame you for wanting to stick around," Jess began unpacking the items one by one and Rory was instantly caught by just how foreign this was, how not meant to be it was for the two of them to be unpacking groceries together. "How was the party?"

"The party was ok," Rory shrugged as she put the milk and eggs away first, followed by her tuna and some cheese, smiling as she saw the little yogurt drinks that Riley loved so much. Her relationship with Jess in isolation from the rest of her life was crumbling around her. "Look, Jess," she couldn't sit down and have coffee with him, she couldn't pretend that everything was fine. "I have to tell you something that happened at the party."

"Everything good?" Jess asked, he ran a hand through his dark hair and gave Rory his crooked smile.

"I kissed someone," she had meant to be more graceful about it, she had meant to be kind about it, but she wasn't sure how to drag it out any longer. "And if I hadn't been drunk out of my mind, I probably would've slept with him. I am so sorry Jess. I knew it was wrong, and you didn't deserve it from me." Jess stared at her and frankly it was unnerving. She watched as his eyes darkened for a moment.

"Wow," he finally spoke, wiping his hands over his mouth. "It uh…" another long pause as his jaw shifted from side to side. "Was it Logan?" Rory shook her head back and forth, promising him that it wasn't, explaining quickly about the lawyer from England who had flirted with her. "I guess that's it then, right? I mean…"

"I'm sorry," she told him again, wondering if it was the wrong moment to continue putting the groceries away.

"Thank you for telling me," it sounded so formal, but it was true. He respected the hell out of the fact that she had told him instead of pretending it hadn't happened and leading him on, or lying about a reason for their breakup. Jess could come back from a lot of things, and the kiss wasn't a big deal…but her admission that she would've slept with this guy…well, he knew they were done. "I'm gonna go but uh…Ror, you know if you ever…" his voice trailed off and he hoped she knew what he was trying to say.

"Thank you Jess. I know…I know that you are there if I need anything."

"See you at Christmas then?" He chuckled awkwardly. They would be seeing each other at Christmas - TJ and Liz lived there and they would be having dinner the night before Christmas Eve. "I don't want it to be awkward…we've known each other a long time."

Rory let out the breath that she didn't realize she had been holding and walked around the island to him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. He was surprised, he stiffened for a moment and then hugged her bag. "I love you Jess. You…you are a part of my family and my life, I just…"

"It's not romantic, I get it." Jess nodded to the door, "nice place you've got here."

Rory smiled as she watched him leave. She didn't expect him to take it so well, and she hadn't expected it to hurt quite like it did. But she supposed that was how love worked. It was messy and painful and sometimes if you were really lucky, you could still have dinner with people who had once held a special place in your heart. While she and Jess were nothing like her and Logan, knowing that both of them were still there for her meant something.

Rory made herself a coffee and finished putting away the groceries before she went upstairs to write. She texted Logan that whenever he and the kids got home to just let himself in. Of course he had a key and strict instructions only to use it when told, but Rory felt as though she would likely get lost in her work which was just the distraction she needed.

Her first book had been the story of growing up Gilmore. Gilmore Girls covered life from as early as she remembered. The only child of a teenaged parent who struggled when she didn't always have to, did her best and made some bad decisions along the way. The story of a child coming of age with goals and pressures and so much opportunity. It told the story of Rory's life through college, her relationships, her struggles with school, everything, and evidently it was relatable. So relatable that within weeks of it being released, her then father in law had offered her a deal for another book and the promise of more after that. It was what she had needed. It gave Rory a steady income of her own, it gave her something to do outside of being a mother and a wife. Eventually it provided her income when she was no longer married. While she was entitled to alimony and child support which she had no problem taking, she also liked knowing that her paycheque covered her essentials. It covered her bills and expenses. She didn't need the money from Logan and that was a relief, because if there was anything that she had learned from her mother, it was the importance of working hard. Sure, it helped that their house had long ago been paid off and she didn't need to buy him out of the house, if she had she would've been selling it and moving into a much smaller place, but still. She wasn't just waiting for her child support deposits and that was a source of pride.

She quickly fell into the zone as she had come to know it, that space where she could write for hours, and she did. This book was about becoming a wife and mother, about trying to navigate a path that was so different than her own mother, and also admitting so many of her own struggles as a mother. Mitchum had recently remarked that her third book could be about the dissolution of her marriage and he was sure it would be another bestseller and Rory sadly knew he was right. It would be therapeutic to write it, just as the first book had been and the second was proving to be. The second book…the one where she admitted that bus pick up and drop off didn't come naturally to her, she hated making cookies and cupcakes for bake sales, she loved her part time nanny who was there when she and Logan couldn't be. She didn't like being the default parent, she could openly admit that she had a much harder time connecting with Christian than she ever would have expected. Breastfeeding was decidedly not for her and after 5 weeks of trying she pulled out the strange Nespresso like machine that would mix formula for her and give her some peace, some time where she wasn't being touched, where someone wasn't literally draining the life out of her. It was hard to write it all down, to admit that motherhood was not her forte, specifically those early years that everyone told her to cherish. She loved her children, she would run into a burning building for them, she would walk on glass for them, give them a kidney or a limb, lay down her life…but it had not come natural, it had not been easy, and she had not enjoyed those early times.

It was his hand on her shoulder that made her aware of his presence in the house. Of course, if Logan was there, it meant the kids were somewhere running around and Rory had officially lost track of time. Her hopes of eating sushi without being teased by her children were gone, and she knew that she would likely wait until after bedtime to eat in an effort to get to really spend some time with the kids for the first time since Thursday night. Rory pulled the AirPods out of her ears and grabbed the case, "hey, sorry," she smiled, "I uh…"

"In the zone, right?" Logan smiled warmly at her as he looked around the space. He had called a few times as they walked into the house. Checking all the usual haunts. The living room, kitchen, he even poked his head in the space that was supposed to have been his office and when he looked inside it was glaringly obvious that Rory never used the space for anything. That left him with the obvious answer of where she was. The sitting room off of their…off of her, bedroom. He hadn't been in the room since the divorce, the last time he had seen it it was their room before the renovation that his mother had insisted they needed, and walking back into it felt like a punch to the gut. Once upon a time this little space had been where they put Riley and Christian's cribs. He remembered the discussion around the glass panelled pocket doors she would use to section the space off, he had been there when they picked the light green wall colour and he had argued about the placement of the wall sconces - he thought they belonged beside the bed but Rory and the decorator disagreed and of course Rory had won. "Looks uh…looks good," he smiled awkwardly as Rory shut her computer and put it on the coffee table in front of her. He watched as her eyes scanned behind him, looking for evidence of their children about to pop up at any moment. "They are in their rooms putting their stuff away," there wasn't much stuff that travelled between the houses, but comfort items, iPads, those things went back and forth because having two of them all seemed unnecessary. "Wanted to chat about Colorado, and uh…last night?"

Rory inhaled. Last night, somehow being so focused on writing she had forgotten that detail. She had forgotten that her ex-husband had caught her and some random guy and rather than showing him an ounce of grace, she had simply told him he was not the boss of her. "I'm sorry about last night," Rory gestured to one of the club chairs across from her, waiting as he sat down. "I uh…I had to much to drink."

"I want to pretend that it's not my business, I want to say that I'm sorry and that I shouldn't have gotten involved, but I can't say that Ror. You are the mother of my kids, and well…if I'm being honest, I don't love the visual of you and some guy making out in the street, but I worry about you. I worry about what could go wrong. I don't want my kids to be motherless. I don't want to ever have to say to them 'Daddy watched Mommy go off with a guy and we never saw her again,' and so yeah…I get territorial."

"Logan don't," Rory had flipped from uncomfortable with the conversation to annoyed. How dare he? How dare he pretend this was about her safety? She was going off with a man who had background checks run on him to allow him to work at the company, a man who in essence was on his payroll. There was nothing that made going off with him any more dangerous than agreeing to go on a date with a guy from the gym. She supposed the only difference was that she didn't have a gym membership, so meeting a man at the gym was impossible. "That was not about protecting me, or the kids or anything else. That was you…that was you laying your claim, that was you trying to remind William that I had children and I was stained and I belonged to someone else. Like I belonged to you. Who I sleep with or date or kiss or whatever is none of your concern anymore. We are not married. We are not a couple. If I want to have sex with a different guy every night, that would qualify as my concern, not yours. As long as it isn't happening in front of our children, it is my business. My body. My choice!" They both knew that she wouldn't have sex with a different man each night, but she was making a point. "I want us to get along, I want us to coparent, but none of that will work if you try to interfere in my life like that. Have you been celibate since we split up?" Logan didn't answer, he just looked at the ground and Rory continued, "because as the woman who birthed your children, the woman who slept in your bed for years…well, I know you pretty damned well and that includes the fact that not only do women throw themselves at you, but you certainly enjoy their company. It isn't my business though Logan. You owed me exclusivity while we were together and God knows one thing I would never accuse you of is being unfaithful, but I don't get a say in your sex life anymore and you don't get a say in mine. Am I clear?"

"Yes," Logan mumbled and exhaled he was wringing his wrists as his hands sat in his lap, fidgeting. He wished he had a pen or his keys or something to keep his hands busy. "I'm sorry," he added halfheartedly.

"Thank you."

Rory stared at him for a minute, she tried to push down the feelings of sadness, the way she knew it would have hurt him to see her with another man. He didn't get a say anymore. He lost his chance to a say when he stopped fighting for them, and he had stopped long before she did. She could tell him that she didn't sleep with William, she could tell him she broke up with Jess, but she didn't. She didn't because it wasn't his business and she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he really did know her better than anyone. She didn't want to tell him that she hated him for not fighting harder. She wished so badly that he had kept fighting because as long as he was still trying, she would've tried forever.

"Honor wanted me to ask about Aspen?"

Rory let out a laugh, there was no other response she could muster at just how ridiculous this moment was. "Logan, I said you could take the kids to Aspen. Just let me know the dates and the flight arrangements…I think all their skiing stuff is at your house," lord knows she wouldn't take the kids skiing if she didn't have to. That was decidedly an activity they did with their daddy and Rory was not looking to change that by having the skis and snowboards in her garage. "Ri might just need a new suit because she's grown but her shoe size hasn't changed since last year, not yet at least."

Logan paused and looked at his ex-wife, he wondered how many difference decisions he could've made, all the ways he could have not ended up in this mess. "She wants to know if you want to come. Thinks it'd be nice for the kids, for Nate and Charlotte…something about Josh wanting someone to fight all the Huntzberger," he was trying to soften her to the idea, he wasn't completely sure if it would work, but it was worth a try. "C'mon, the kids would love it."

"Auntie Honor invited you to Aspen?" Christian was practically bouncing into the room as he repeated what he had just heard his father say. "You've gotta come!"

"Chris, you need to go and have fun with Dad," Rory answered softly.

"I hate skiing," Christian interjected and ignored the protests that Logan immediately came out with. Christian didn't hate skiing, he just hated the idea of his mother sitting at home alone while they were gone.

"You don't hate skiing Christian," Rory responded as she watched his eyes fill with tears. She knew when she was being played by her kid and she knew when she wasn't. She knew that Christian was hung up on the idea of her being alone for part of the holidays, she knew that the idea wouldn't sit well with her sweet boy. "You should go and have fun."

"You should come too. Is there enough room Dad?" Christian looked desperately to his father.

Logan gave Christian a smile, trying to reassure him that whether Rory came or not, it would all be alright. "You know bud, there is room, but it really is up to Mom. She might have plans," he tried not to think about what she and Jess might get up to if she was home alone for a stretch of time. As she had just pointed out, he had no right to an opinion on what she did in her free time.

"Mom there's a room!"

"Ok," Rory whispered. Motherhood may not have come easy to her, but that didn't mean she didn't love her kids. It didn't mean she didn't want to be with her kids whenever she could, it didn't mean that she didn't cherish the memories they made. "I'll come." Christian grinned with delight and told his parents he was done unpacking before bolting out of the room to tell Riley the news. "Well played," she mumbled as she raised an eyebrow.

"It was just good timing," Logan countered. "So if you're still alright with it, I'll come over in the morning on the 25th," it was a Monday this year which was certainly convenient, "and then I'll take them to my parents house for dinner, and you'll do your thing."

She had told him before that she and Jess were doing something, that was no longer true. The plan had been to meet up with some of his good friends from work and celebrate while the kids were with Logan and after the dinner in Stars Hollow on the Saturday. "Sounds good," she wasn't about to tell him that she would be alone, she knew he would invite her to his parents, and that might be just a bit too much domesticity for her. "I'll pick them up on the 26?" Maybe she would ask Paris if she had plans, they could order Chinese food and stay in, she was pretty sure Doyle had their kids for the occasion.

"Then we'll all fly out on the 29?" Rory nodded. "I think we'll take the jet," he knew she hated the jet, there was something painfully pretentious about loading the 10 members of the immediate Huntzberger family and a nanny onto a plane. "Don't worry, we buy carbon offsets."

"Doesn't change that we could fly commercial," Rory retorted dryly, she thought this argument would end with her marriage, but apparently it was still going strong.

"Tell my sister that, or my mom…we only just got Shira on faux fur." Rory couldn't help but giggle at that as she stood up to walk him out, "thank you for doing this, means a lot to the kids."

"I don't hate you Logan, or your family, or spending time as a family," Rory told him softly, "I just couldn't be married to you anymore."