OENOMAUS: Listen. Learn. And perhaps live, as gladiators.
[Batiatus and Lucretia walk onto the balcony. A woman who looks like Ilithyia giggles as she walks onto the balcony]
ILITHYIA: I am Ilithyia, yes. Roman or Gaul. Asterix or… Obelisk. Ahem.
OENOMAUS: Now, attend your master!
BATIATUS: You have been blessed, each and every one of you, to find yourselves here, at the ludus of Quintus Lentulus Batiatus, purveyor of the finest gladiators in all of the republic!
[The gladiators cheer]
BATIATUS: Prove yourselves, in the hard days to follow. Prove yourselves more than a common slave. More than a man.
[Ilithyia stares at the recruits. She leans in to Lucretia]
ILITHYIA: Can you imagine, taking more than one? Or one after the other?
LUCRETIA: Erm, excuse me?
[Ilithyia shrugs]
ILITHYIA: I mean, not really. And only if you wanted to. Like a prostitute.
[Lucretia frowns as Ilithyia's eyes dart at each of the recruits]
ILITHYIA: I'd probably get really tired. But at least I'd enjoy the first. Well, here's hoping, you know?
LUCRETIA: Yes…
BATIATUS: Succeed, and stand proud among my titans!
GLADIATORS: Batiatus, Batiatus, Batiatus!
OENOMAUS: A gladiator does not fear death. He embraces it. Caresses it. Fucks it.
ILITHYIA: Gosh, that's honest. That's very blunt, isn't it?
[Lucretia glances to Batiatus, then to Ilithyia]
LUCRETIA: Perhaps you should consider purchasing one of your own.
[Ilithyia holds her cheeks and has anime-heart eyes and and cocks her head from side to side]
ILITHYIA: Oh, but are they safe from me?
[Ilithya laughs, high-pitched and unsettles the gladiators]
ILITHYIA: Erm, you know. I'd probably just lie there all the same, but still!
[Batiatus glances at Lucretia, then to Ilithyia]
BATIATUS: Choose a recruit, and he is yours. For a nominal fee, of course. Such funds to cover the expense of his upkeep and his training.
ILITHYIA: I am rich, probably.
LUCRETIA: Every victory in the arena is an honor to his Domina.
ILITHYIA: Yeah, yeah, whatever. But I can choose? And this is actually happening? They'll do what I say, like laundry and foreplay? Proper foreplay, mind?
BATIATUS: May I offer a suggestion to aid your dilemma?
ILITHYIA: Oh, of course. I know this one -
BATIATUS: Our honored guest wishes to access the recruits' -
ILITHYIA: - ver-tuse!
BATIATUS: - virtues!
ILITHYIA: Well, I thought he said ver-tuse.
[Oenomaus cracks his whip]
OENOMAUS: Remove your cloths!
[Ilithyia bites her fingernails, and spits out each in turn, beadily watching. The recruits begin to remove their sashes. Ilithyia reddens and nervously laughs at Lucretia]
ILITHYIA: They're staring at me.
LUCRETIA: Should they not?
ILITHYIA: Not them. Their…
[The last recruit removes his sash and glances up at Ilithyia. Ilithiya holds her stomach]
ILITHYIA: Good god, that would hurt.
[Ilithyia turns to Lucretia]
ILITHYIA: Can I try one of the, er, regular sized ones first?
LUCRETIA: If you suggest…
[Ilithyia fans herself and exhales]
ILITHYIA: Whoo, thank god. I mean, not that he's not a fine specimen. But you know, god forbid once it's in, he move. I mean, you'd hope he'd just kinda vibrate without moving. Or just leave it in. Perhaps halfway. Or - or not at all. Am I mad?
[Lucretia glances at Batiatus, then back to Ilithyia]
LUCRETIA: You can choose as many as you would like to buy.
[Ilithyia points to a recruit]
ILITHYIA: Him. At least at first.
[Batiatus nods and gestures to Agron to walk forward]
ILITHYIA: He looks scrumptious. Perhaps I can let him just leave it in, and then I can prepare for -
[Ilithiya peeps at Segovax and gulps. She pastes a smile to Lucretia]
ILITHYIA: Well, perhaps just nothing penetrative. Just having him lie on top of me is fine…
[Ilithyia holds her stomach again. Lucretia looks concerned]
LUCRETIA: Is everything alright?
ILITHYIA: Oh, yes. You see, this certainly didn't happen in my twenties.
LUCRETIA: Hmm?
[Ilithyia gestures, bland then excited]
ILITHYIA: The - the hormones.
[Ilithyia fans herself as Agron is given arms, and Segovax waits behind him]
ILITHYIA: Oh, dear… you don't have a spare room, do you?
LUCRETIA: To stay and watch them train?
[Ilithyia fiddles with her necklace and bites on the chain]
ILITHYIA: Uh huh, sure, whatever.