Title: Forever Love
Rating: T (sorry guys, no big love scenes this time around)
Pairing: Jamko (what else?)
Summary: Eddie and Jamie rely on their forever love after he is shot and injured. Season 13.1 needed a facelift. Author's note at the end.
Forever Love
Beep. Beep. Beep. The steady sound of the heart monitor was the only thing keeping Eddie from losing her mind. They had talked about this possibility so many times, every time a cop got shot they talked about what it would be like if one of them was the victim. Now, it happened.
Eddie wished she could bare it herself. She wished that it was her lying in the bed instead of her Jamie. He was the calmer one of the pair, the stoic one, the one that could handle situations like these without a hair out of place. She had been hysterical.
When her mother arrived after hearing the situation on the news, Eddie had flown into her arms and sobbed until she was nearly sick to her stomach. She was so thankful that Lena had come, that Danny had wrapped his arms around her, than Henry held her hand, that's how she was able to hang on.
It had been hours before Frank arrived. Baker, Henry, Danny…so many people had been searching for him. Eddie felt a stab of irrational anger when he finally appeared. He was Jamie's father; nothing should have been more important. He should have known Jamie had been hurt. He should have known and responded to the situation immediately. Even Joe had stayed at the hospital, and he usually kept his distance from the family, not wanting to be entirely enveloped into their web the way she had been.
When the doctor finally came out and told them Jamie had pulled through the delicate 10-hour surgery, Eddie felt her body collapse with relief. Lena held her from one side and Danny from the other.
As soon as the announcement was made that Jamie had lived, the two men on the job disappeared. They had fulfilled their duty to Jamie, they had taken care of his wife, now it was time to catch the man that almost became his killer.
It had been three hours since the doctors allowed Eddie to go in and sit beside her husband. She held his hand in her's, constantly watching the numbers on the monitors and listening to the steady beep and blip as some kind of peaceful mantra.
What would happen if Jamie couldn't move or feel his legs when he woke up? What would that mean for them? If he couldn't be a cop anymore, what would that do to him? Would the emotional devastation be harder to cope with than the physical? She had no idea.
Lena had gone home once Eddie was allowed to see Jamie. One by one the family had joined her in Jamie's room, then one by one, they had all gone home. The only family member still in the waiting room now was Frank. Eddie was afraid to talk to him just now. She didn't want to erupt into a flood of irrational emotion. It would be very un-Reagan of her to do that.
"Uum…" Eddie sat up straighter when she heard a soft moan from the bed. She leaned over so she was as close to Jamie as the setting would allow.
"Jamie," she whispered, increasing her grip on his hand. "Jamie, it's okay. I'm here, I'm right here."
"Uummm," he moaned again as his eyelids began to flutter. He moved his head from side to side as if trying to clear it.
"Come on, honey," Eddie urged. "Open your eyes, Jamie. Look at me. Open your eyes."
He was tired. His entire body felt like it was enveloped in weights. His head hurt and was so foggy it reminded him of a three-day drunk he'd tied on in college. His eyes stung. They were closed, but still felt so heavy and gritty. His arms…they didn't hurt, but one felt heavier than the other as if something was applying pressure. He liked that though, it was comforting, it made him feel safe.
Jamie continued to take inventory of his body. The last thing he remembered was Eddie's voice, telling him to hold on, telling him to fight for her and fight for their love. It had hurt so badly to even breathe. He'd taken a bullet…that's where all this was coming from. The burning in his abdomen and back was enough to be sickening, though it was what he didn't feel that scared him the most
His lower body felt numb. He was aware that it was there, it was the oddest feeling in the world. He always thought people in wheelchairs felt as if their legs were simply not there, but it was different than that. There was no describing the odd sensation and certainly there was no describing the sickening level of fear that quelled in his chest.
"Lamb chop," Eddie cooed, stroking the wayward piece of hair that fell across his forehead. "I know it hurts, baby. I know it does but try to open your eyes for me. I need to see you, Jamie. Come on now…"
Eddie. His Eddie. What she must have been going through since this happened. Was it hours or days? He wasn't sure. She was part of the family now, Danny had made him a promise on their wedding day, if anything ever happened to him, Danny would take care of Eddie. He knew his brother kept that promise. Eddie was private though, she didn't trust many people, she kept herself guarded. There was so much of her that she never let anyone but him get a glimpse of. He had to show her he was with her, that he'd made it through.
Jamie finally pushed his eyes open. It had been almost a half hour since Eddie heard the first encouraging sounds and finally, he was looking up at her. She lifted his hand and placed a gentle kiss on it. "Hey…Hi, sweetheart. How do you feel?"
Jamie licked his lips and looked to the side of the bed. They didn't need to speak; they could read each other's minds it seemed. Eddie filled the pink hospital issue cup with water then held the straw to his lips. "Better?"
"Yeah," he croaked out. "You look like Hell."
Eddie laughed softly. "You're supposed to tell me how beautiful I am."
"Want me to lie?" he laughed then winced at the pain. "You should go home."
Eddie shook her head, "I'm right where I should be. How do you feel? Are you in any pain?"
"Hurts to breath," he replied. "Body feels funny. I can't…" Jamie tried to stay practical. He knew he'd had surgery, that his body had suffered a trauma. He had no idea what cocktail of drugs he was on, but still. "I can't feel my legs, Eddie. I can't move them, I can't…"
As he said the words, Jamie's breathing sped up and the monitors attached to him started to alert the staff to a change in his status. His nurse hurried in to determine what was causing the heart monitor to spike. "Mr. Reagan, I see you're awake. Are you having any pain?"
"He's in pain," Eddie replied for him, holding his hand in both of hers close to her breast. "He says he can't feel his legs, that he can't move his legs. Can you call the doctor please?"
The nurse went to have the doctor paged as Eddie tried to soothe Jamie. "It's all right, lamb chop. It's going to be all right. Try to breath, take as deep a breath as you can and try to relax until the doctor comes."
Jamie followed her example, matching his breathing to hers. "You don't seem to be surprised, Eddie. What do you know? What did they tell you?"
"They told me we have to wait and see," she replied. "They told me this could happen, but we'd have to wait and see. It might just be the medication, Jamie. Don't be scared, I don't' want you to be scared."
"How do you think…I can't move my legs, Eddie!" His voice caught on the intense emotion he was feeling in his heart and two rogue tears fell down his cheeks.
This was no time for platitudes. They would only serve to make him more upset. They never dealt in mindless comfort, even when the situation didn't look good on the other side, they were honest with one another. To tell Jamie it was going to be okay, when their lives might have just been turned upside down and backwards, that would not help.
Eddie simply held Jamie as close as the situation would allow and made gentle strokes through his messy hair. "I know, I know you can't. I know. Don't be afraid, okay? Don't be afraid, we'll work it out."
That was the truth, whatever this meant, they would work it out. They had promised each other forever, they wouldn't give up, no matter what.
The doctor came in a few moments later. "Hello Mr. Reagan, I'm Dr. Higgins. It's good to see you're awake. The nurses tell me you are experiencing some paralysis in your legs. I'm going to run a few tests bedside, then we'll get you down for an MRI see what's' happening. All right?"
Jamie nodded and took a deep breath. "I just want to know what's going on, Doc?" He held onto Eddie's hand as tightly as he could.
"Okay, let's take it one step at a time. Let me know if you feel this." The doctor did some cursory tests on Jamie's legs. Jamie did have some sensation and some weak reflexes but not movement.
"The preliminary exam tells me that if you do have a cord injury, it's not complete, there is nerve function, however, there's also a strong likelihood you are experiencing the loss of movement and sensation from edema. You had a bullet very close to the spine, and we did a lot of fishing for it. Let's get some pictures and if it is as I suspect, we'll get you on some IV steroids to help reduce the swelling."
Jamie nodded, this was good, it sounded better than he anticipated. "Okay," Jamie replied as Eddie gave an audible sigh of relief. Jamie kissed the back of the hand he held.
"I'll order the imaging studies right away, someone will be by to bring you for the testing as soon as there's a machine available," Dr. Higgins informed them.
The doctor left the young couple alone while he went to order the tests. "Well, that's better than we thought, right?" Jamie asked. "Right, Eddie?"
She nodded; she didn't trust her voice. The stress of the day was weighing on her, she felt sick to her stomach. What would it mean if the doctor was wrong? What would that mean for their lives, for Jamie's career, for her own career, for the prospect of a family that always seemed to be put off for another day?
"It's okay, babe," Jamie tried to comfort her. "In some ways, I know I have the easy part. Compared to…to what you had to do today; I have the easy part."
Eddie looked confused, "Jamie, you had a bullet in you! When I got here, you were grey, Jamie. You looked grey and I didn't know if you were going to be okay…You must be in pain and…"
"Breathe," he soothed. "I'm not in a lot of pain, this is pretty good stuff in the IV. I am just saying I know how it feels to watch the person you love be shot. Thank God you got it in the vest. Your size, if it was under, it would have been worse than this. I was sick, I was so sick watching you. Then Barry…you had that jerk take you home and I felt like I lost you."
"Jamie…" Eddie sighed. "You could never lose me. Remember, I'll be your medic, your chaplain…They asked me if I wanted a priest. I said yes, I knew you would want a blessing before surgery. Maybe God was with us, you think?"
Jamie reached out to cup her cheek, "I see God in you every day."
Eddie leaned in closer, and Jamie took her lips in a soft kiss. He leaned back against the pillows and shut his eyes. "You should go home, hon. You need to get some sleep."
"I'm not going anywhere," Eddie said firmly. "Your father is outside, I'll tell him you're awake and he can come see you while I go to the bathroom, but I'm not leaving."
It's what Jamie knew she would say, but he had to let her know that she was still first in his world. That was the way of it, they each put the other ahead of themselves, it worked out.
Frank was able to visit with Jamie for about a half hour before the orderly came to take him down for tests. Jamie made sure he asked Frank to look out for Eddie and make sure she took care of herself. Frank promised he would. Then, "Jamie, I am so sorry I wasn't here when this first happened. I was out with Father, and I didn't have my phone with me. We were doing some recon on…I never even thought about something like this happening."
"No, Dad," Jamie replied. "None of us should live in fear of this, if I did, I couldn't do my job and I sure as Hell couldn't let Eddie out on the street. It's okay, you're here now."
"Your wife was upset with me," Frank said flatly. "And told me so."
"Eddie was upset, and you got the brunt of it because you were there," Jamie corrected. "If it was Pop or Joe or Erin that got there at the time she was ready to erupt, it would have been them, or a nurse…She's not upset with you, really. I know her."
Frank smiled, "That you do, son. She's incredibly strong, so to see her façade crack like it did, she loves you very much."
"I love her very much," Jamie said with grave conviction. "I've never loved anyone more."
Frank and Eddie spoke briefly before Frank left the hospital. Eddie settled down with a magazine to wait on her husband. It felt like an eternity and only felt longer when McNichols paid her a visit. It was only about two hours.
Eddie returned to Jamie's room with some snacks and a sports drink he liked. He was asleep again, the talking and the tests had worn him out. Eddie tucked her legs under her and curled up beside him on the bed. She laid her head on his chest and let the gentle rise and fall lull her to sleep.
When they awoke in the morning, with the nurses trying in earnest not to disturb either of them, Jamie smiled down at his wife as she brushed the sleep from her eyes. "What time is it?"
"Just past six," the nurse replied. "We just had to check your vitals, the doctor will be around in a couple of hours and go over your test results. Do you require anything now?"
Jamie shook his head, "I have everything I need."
Eddie understood his double meaning and kissed his cheek. She laid her head back down; she was so content to simply listen to his heartbeat. "So do I," she whispered. "Are you in any pain? Am I too heavy?"
Jamie shook his head, "No, you're perfect. I love you so much. There's a little burning sensation, in my legs, in my hips, not pain just…strange."
"Do you want me to call the nurse back in?" Eddie asked quickly reaching for the call button.
"No," Jamie shook his head. "Just lie with me right now, I don't know, but I think this is good. I think feeling something is good."
Eddie did as he asked, silently running her fingers up and down his chest. She felt his hand stroking her back in a gentle rhythm, then slower, then even slower, until it finally stopped. She smiled, he needed all the sleep he could get, no matter what the tests said, he had a long road ahead of him.
Dr. Higgins entered the room a few hours later with a smile on his face. "Well, it looks like good news," he proclaimed. "The tests show a significant amount of edema around the lumbar spine. That fluid is pressing on the spinal cord causing your paralysis. It is temporary."
"Oh, thank God," Eddie hiccupped as she fought the urge to cry out in happiness. "Jamie, you're going to be okay…"
Jamie was battling tears as well. He was prepared to hear the worst, but truth be told, the idea of life in a wheelchair scared the hell out of him. "So, what do we do now? I feel some burning, some pressure, but no real sensation."
"We got the results late last night and I ordered high dose steroid therapy, so likely the swelling is already responding. Unfortunately, there will be some strange feelings and some pain as you get movement and feeling back," Dr. Higgins explained. "We'll manage it with medication."
"How long until I can walk again?" Jamie asked. "When can I start doing some therapy or something to make sure I get back to full strength as soon as I can."
"It could be a few days to a few weeks," Dr. Higgins replied. "In some cases, it's months. We'll start some light therapy later today, we will have a massage therapist and physical therapist come in, massage and exercise the legs to keep the muscles healthy. You're young, you should heal quickly, but you'll have to be patient."
"How long will Jamie have to stay in the hospital? Will he have to go to rehab?" Eddie didn't like how this felt.
"Just until the wounds start to mend and the risk of infection is decreased. Should be a couple of weeks," Dr. Higgins replied. "As for rehab, we'll need to see how much progress is made here, the steroid therapy will accelerate healing."
The doctor left a couple more instructions with the nurses before leaving. Eddie and Jamie both laughed at the same time. "You're going to be okay," she whispered, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.
"I'm going to be okay," he echoed. "Why don't you go home, shower, change, and bring me back turkey on a roll. I hate hospital food. I'll call Pop with the news; he can tell everyone else. I'm sure they'll all be here later."
Jamie was right. Soon he had more visitors than he knew what to do with. Eddie was a constant though, there wasn't a time that she wasn't at his side. She helped him with everything, moving in bed, getting dressed, using the bathroom.
The feeling in Jamie's legs came back in spurts over the next few days. The burning he felt near his hip soon traveled down into his thigh, calf, and finally his foot. He didn't know how to describe it, there really was nothing else like that experience.
By the end of the first week, he was able to move his toes. He had to concentrate, and the small action was tiring, but he could do it. The doctor was thrilled with the speed of his progress.
Eddie left only for short stints. The family was always in and out as they passed by the hospital; Henry was a frequent visitor. Eddie noticed Frank avoided her. He would come visit, but if Eddie was in the room, he avoided having much conversation. Eddie could see that more than anything was causing Jamie stress he didn't need, so she sought out her father-in-law while Jamie napped.
Frank was just stepping off the elevator with his detail when Eddie approached him. "Is there someplace we can talk in private?" she asked. "Jamie's sleeping, they just finished a therapy session, he's really wiped out."
Frank dismissed his security team with a nod then led Eddie to the family waiting area. It was midday, there were only a few people on the other side of the room. Eddie took a deep breath, "Frank, I just want to apologize for everything I said the night Jamie was shot. I was terrified and I felt so alone. My Mom came and everyone was great, but I…" She swallowed hard. "You know things with my Dad aren't the best. You walked me down the aisle in his place, and in my terror in that moment I wanted you to be here. I didn't think about your work or that you might be involved in something important, all I thought about was how much I needed you. How much Jamie might have needed you if things went wrong. I thought of how you would feel too, if he didn't make it. Things are hard between us now and that's not good for him."
Frank's eyes were shining, and he took in each word Eddie said before he spoke. "After Joe was killed, it took me a long time, years, to be able to have my boys out on the job and not feel every minute a gnawing fear the next KIA would be one of them. When Jamie started to move up, I saw how he embraced the other side of being a good cop. He knew that his best weapon wasn't his asp or his gun, it was his brain and his mouth. He's talked down more irate, angry people than I can count. I stopped dwelling on it, I stopped thinking about what could happen…I'm sorry. I wish I was here for you and Jamie, but I wasn't, and being angry or cold with each other isn't what he needs. I'm sorry, Eddie. It meant the world to me you trusted me enough, cared for me enough to ask me to be your constant on your wedding day. I made a vow that day too, to always have your six, and I didn't. I forgive you for being angry, will you forgive me for being absent?"
Eddie wiped her eyes; the tears had started while she was speaking. She stepped forward and slid her arms around Frank's waist. He held her tight, kissing the top of her head making a light shushing noise. "How's he really doing?" he asked when she pulled back. "He always says he's fine."
"He is," Eddie replied, wiping her eyes with Frank's handy handkerchief. "He has a lot of cramping, shooting pains, especially at night, but they started him on a new medication for it because that might last awhile. Something to do with the disc, but it won't affect his mobility. He's getting stronger. They said they are going to see if he can stand up tomorrow since he has almost full feeling back. If he can, he can come home in a few days."
"It would be great to see you both at dinner this week if he's home and up to it," Frank replied. "We miss seeing your chairs occupied."
"We miss being there," Eddie smiled. "Why don't you go see him, he'll probably wake up when he hears you. I'm going to get a sandwich and get him a cup of tea from the corner, they have that Irish kind he likes."
Frank headed off to Jamie's room and Eddie on her errand. They both felt better after talking things through. Frank was hopeful that Jamie would be able to stand the next day. He knew how frustrated he was with this already, he also knew that even if he could stand and take a few steps, a full recovery would take more time.
The following morning, the physical therapist came to get Jamie on his feet. Eddie helped him put on his regular socks and a pair of sneakers. He wasn't able to bend his torso much at all without hurting. "Okay, Jamie," the therapist instructed. "Whenever you're ready…"
Jamie looked at Eddie, "Just try, honey. If you can't do it, it's okay. I'm right here."
Part of Jamie didn't want to try this in front of his wife. If he tried and failed, he would be embarrassed, but another part of him needed his wife there with him no matter what. "Use the walker," the therapist advised. "Hold onto the handles, take a breath, and put as much weight as you can on your arms until you feel your legs engage."
Jamie nodded and looked straight at Eddie. The therapist had moved her to the other side of the room so that if Jamie started to fall she didn't get hurt trying to help him. She held his gaze, biting her lip as she saw him start to move.
"That's it," the therapist encouraged. "That's it, just like that."
Jamie felt heat push through his legs as they bore his weight for the first time in over a week. Everyone said he was healing rapidly, but it was not fast enough for him. "Oh, man…" He didn't expect it to feel like that, like the entire lower half of his body had been asleep and just woke up. "Oh…"
"Jamie?" Eddie wanted to put a stop to this, she saw how hard he was working, that it was painful, but she didn't push it. He had to make the choice to move forward or step back on his own.
"It just feels really weird," Jamie replied. "Like pins and needles…"
"That's the circulation building back up," the therapist explained. "You want to see if you can take a step?"
Jamie nodded and slowly pushed the walker forward so he had the space to stretch out his legs. He moved his right first, then brought up his left. It had been hard. "First step is the hardest."
Eddie was still biting her lip; she was trembling watching this, trying not to jump in and save the day so to speak. It was torture watching Jamie fight for that step, but then he took another and another until he finally made it the seven paces to where she was standing. He was smiling triumphantly, soaked through his shirt in perspiration from his effort, but smiling ear to ear.
Jamie took a breath, "I need to sit down." His legs were shaking. Eddie reached out to support him as the therapist brought the wheelchair. "It's good you'll be able to go from the bed to the chair and back on your own. It'll get easier, it'll only get better."
Jamie smiled, "I know it will. If this means I can go home…I'm ready to sleep in my own bed."
"Well, I'll give the report to Dr. Higgins and if the wound is as well healed as it appears to be, I'm sure a discharge will be in your near future," she smiled. "You're doing so well. Get your breath, Mrs. Reagan, perhaps take him out for some fresh air, then we'll get him back in bed."
The idea of air sounded great to Jamie; he'd been stuck behind those walls for what felt like forever. "How do you feel?" Eddie asked then they were in the courtyard of the hospital.
"I feel good," Jamie smiled, holding Eddie's hand in his own. "My legs are sore, but I feel them, so it's a good feeling. I was so scared that I was going to be paralyzed. That I was going to be…a burden on you for the rest of our lives."
"Jamison Reagan, don't you ever say that again!" Eddie said firmly. "No matter what happens you will never be a burden to me. Whether it is a gunshot wound, an illness, old age, whatever it is and whatever you need, we vowed to be partners, always!"
"I know," Jamie replied. "But don't you feel like that was a little short-sighted?"
"Short-sighted?" Eddie was confused. "I don't understand. How could our love for each other be that?"
"Not our love, Eddie," Jamie replied. "But to make a vow like that, if this had been worse, how could I have kept my side of it for you? How could I have been any of the things I promised?"
Eddie pulled Jamie's hand up to her lips. "You would never…" she swallowed the lump in her throat. "You would never stop loving me, stop being with me, encouraging me…and I wouldn't either. We might have to adapt our vows, Jamie, they were made by two young people in love, but we'll never have to forget them, even when we are two old people, we'll still be in love. We'll be in love forever."
Jamie looked at Eddie's tear-stained face and wiped her cheeks with his thumb. "God, I love you. I love you more every day. I heard you; I heard you telling me to fight for you, not to leave you…and you're right, I wouldn't. I won't."
Eddie traced the outline of Jamie's cheek with her fingers, "Neither will I."
Dr. Higgins pronounced Jamie well enough to go home on the weekend. He wanted Jamie to work a little bit more on getting his sea legs back, so to speak, before he released him. As Jamie was able to take steps even after such a short time, it was determined he could continue therapy as an outpatient.
Danny and Erin would come around to pick them up and bring them home. Jamie insisted he did not want any kind of tribute paid to him when he went home. He wanted it private and quiet, but the officers at the precinct, and those in the family, did not listen when Eddie gave them the instructions.
On Saturday morning, Jamie surprised Eddie and himself by getting into the wheelchair without the help of the walker. His legs hurt after effort, though, and she didn't like the look he would get on his face. Though he was so proud of that effort, she couldn't help but smile.
He was sitting in the chair when Danny and Erin came. She was packing the last of their things hoping she would never have to pack a hospital bag for her husband again. She knew how unrealistic that was, but she prayed for it, nonetheless.
Eddie was surprised but not shocked when she wheeled Jamie out the back exit, that fellow officers, the nurses that helped care for Jamie, and Frank were outside to clap him out. He had made a remarkable recovery, everyone said so. Dr. Higgins steroid therapy and the therapist's intervention did a lot of it, but so much of it was Jamie himself. He deserved this hero's tribute.
When Jamie moved to stand and return Frank's salute, Eddie's heart was in her throat. He only stood without the walker twice, he could fall and hurt himself. Yet, he managed it. He stood tall and proud, even as the flush of embarrassment touched his cheeks.
When the tribute broke up, Jamie sank into the supportive seat of the car. "Okay?" Erin asked as she got into the passenger seat.
"Yeah, I'm just tired," Jamie replied. "I want to go home."
Eddie took his hand and helped fasten the seatbelt around his waist. "We're going. You can rest in your own bed, tomorrow, we'll go to church, have some dinner. You need to take your time. It's okay to take your time."
Jamie's eyes closed as they rode home. "He's still so tired," Danny commented. "Did they send him home too soon?"
Eddie shook her head, "His wound looks fantastic, and the doctor said that even with all the swelling he had in the back, he's so far ahead of where he expected. He cut him off the IV steroids, put him on pills to taper off, I think he's adjusting to not having all that medication. The last couple of nights, they had to give him sleeping pills to help him go down, the medication had him so wired."
"But it worked," Erin observed.
"Yes, it did," Eddie smiled. "It most certainly did."
Danny and Erin stayed for about an hour and helped Eddie get Jamie's things put away. He sat on the sofa, wanting to help, but not having the energy. "In the hospital, I felt stronger," he confessed to Eddie when they were alone.
"It was all the medication you were on helping you," she reasoned. "You'll probably feel sluggish for a little bit until you get stronger on your own. You hungry? You want something to eat?"
"You can call out for Chinese," Jamie suggested. "Anything that lets you stay in my arms is good enough for me."
Eddie cuddled closer, placing the order online so she could be as close to Jamie as he needed her to be. They couldn't get this close in this hospital bed very often.
Dinner and a movie marked Jamie's first night home. He got up and around to use the bathroom and do the exercises the physical therapist gave him. His movements were stiff and slow, Eddie could tell her felt like he was walking with weights on his legs. She shadowed him everywhere he went at first until he convinced her he could do it alone.
By bedtime, Jamie was exhausted. He forced himself to get to the bathroom and started to undress. When he got to his socks, he leaned down and felt a sharp, shooting pain through his abdomen. "Aah," he cried out, not able to stifle the moan. Eddie rushed in the room in mere seconds. "What happened?"
"I can't…" He looked at her, his blue eyes shining with tears of pain and frustration. "I was trying to get my socks…I don't want you to do everything. I need to do for myself."
Eddie knelt to help Jamie remove his socks. "You need to try to do for yourself when you're ready and you are not ready to do this yet. You will be soon, maybe tomorrow, but today is today, and I'm here. Don't get upset, there's nothing to get upset about."
In silence, she slid off the socks and helped Jamie get his sleep shorts up to his waist. He stood to pull them up and secure them. Eddie slid on the slippers the therapist sent home. They had a firm bottom, like a regular shoe, that would help Jamie feel the floor beneath him as his legs continued to heal. "Hold on to me," Eddie told him. "You're tired, hold on to me."
Jamie put a lot of weight on Eddie as she helped him to bed. "I don't like you seeing me like this. I know you have trouble looking at this."
As Eddie helped Jamie swing his legs into bed and propped them up on pillows to help the circulation, she said simply, "The only thing I'd have trouble looking at is your casket. The rest of this…it means you're here, you're alive. You survived this Jamie, the rest of this…it's just a matter of time until it's gone."
Eddie leaned over and kissed him deeply. "I love you so much it hurts. You lean on me as long as you need, I'll be here. I'll always be here."
Jamie pulled Eddie closer. Fully clothed, she scooted up onto their bed and laid her head on his chest. Jamie was healing, but his recovery would take time. He was home and they were in each other's arms, that's where they belonged.
Jamie kissed the top of Eddie's head, "I love you, too. If I didn't have you, if we hadn't figured out what we meant to each other, I believe I'd be dead right now. I fought for you; I'll keep fighting for you."
No more words were exchanged that night, they didn't need to be. Their love was so deep and complex words couldn't define it anyway. Eddie fell asleep with Jamie softly stroking her arm. He nodded off a few moments after her breathing evened out. They both slept soundly that night, in the comfort of one another's arms, secure in the knowledge they had each found their forever love.
A/N: Wow, it has been a long time since I wrote anything but research lectures, but I had to fix the season premiere. They way they portrayed Jamie's injury and recovery was not realistic at all and if you know anything about me you know I like my realism, so I fixed it.
Perhaps it was just because we didn't have a timeline, maybe weeks did go by, but if not, I gave it some of my own tweaks.
I have no idea if this is a flash in the pan or if I'll be writing again for Jamko. I know I will try to post finish stories I haven't posted, I just needed to take a break.
Hope everyone enjoys. As always, reviews are appreciated.