Thursday, January 5, 1989

10:00 a.m.

It was only mid-morning, but Maddie had already been up and out of bed for several hours. Despite the fact that she wasn't feeling well, she couldn't help but pace her living room floor. Back and forth she went, eagerly awaiting David's arrival. She hadn't eaten a thing since last night, so she was thrilled when he called earlier and offered to stop by with some of her favorite cinnamon rolls from the coffee shop. But really, what she wanted most was just to see him. She probably wouldn't be able to taste the cinnamon rolls anyway.

She was relieved when she heard the taxi pull up in front of her house and the car door shut. She heard him unlock her front door and then turn to close it after he stepped inside. 'Maddie, you upstairs?'

'No, David, I'm in here.' She didn't have much of a voice left.

By the time he walked into the living room, she had already settled down on the couch, holding a box of tissues on her lap. She could feel her lip quiver and her eyes tear up the moment she saw him.

'Ugh... I don't know why I get so emotional when I'm sick,' she said to him, as she dried her eyes with a tissue. There was a tremble in her voice.

'I missed you, too,' he said, as he walked towards her from across the room. He placed the box of pastries he was carrying down on the coffee table. 'Hey,' he gave her his lop-sided grin, 'scooch over.' He sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulder.

She pulled back. 'David, maybe you shouldn't sit so close to me... I don't want you to get sick.'

'I don't care if I get sick.' Then he pulled her closer still. There was no stopping this embrace.

It felt good to finally just give in and rest her head on his chest while his hands moved up and down, massaging her achy back. She closed her eyes so she could focus on his touch. She let herself feel vulnerable, and in that moment, she couldn't think of another time when she felt so safe in a man's arms.

After a few minutes passed, Maddie quietly asked, 'This morning on the phone, you said you had something you wanted to tell me.'

'Yeah, but it'll keep. It's not important right now. I just want you to feel better.'

'What was it? Something to do with a case?' She lifted her head up to look at him.

'No, nothing to do with work.'

'David.' The way she said his name made it sound like an ultimatum.

'Okay.' He'd stepped in the quicksand, and there was no easy way out.

She watched intently as he got up, grabbed a chair from the other side of the room and placed it in front of her. He sat down and she could tell by the way he wrung his hands and rubbed them on his pants that he was nervous, like he was summoning whatever courage he needed to say what he was about to say. She didn't know yet what that was, but he looked scared, and that made her scared.

'What is it, David?' The thought occurred to her that he might actually be about to propose marriage again. What else would make him act this way? Her anxiety went through the roof, working wonders on her cold symptoms as they suddenly took a backseat to her anticipation.

'Maddie look, I know you don't feel well. I know my timing couldn't be any worse. But I need to tell you something.' He turned his head and looked out the window. Then he took a deep breath and let out a nervous laugh. 'God, help me… I never meant for this to happen...' Composing himself, he looked her straight in the eye. 'I don't know how to say this to you…'

Maddie could feel her stomach sink. She wanted to shake the words out of him… literally turn him upside down and shake him.

'Do you remember…,' he stammered, and pressed his palm to his forehead. 'What am I sayin'… of course, you'll remember. God, why does being honest have to be so damn difficult?'

Watching him struggle right now was like watching a man tread water, trying desperately to keep afloat.

'Maddie, I slept with someone.'

Maddie's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. She felt like her breath had been knocked out of her chest. Sitting there, glaring at him, she had to refrain from acting on the burning impulse to slap him hard across his face.

'What are you saying?! What do you mean… you slept with someone?!'

He couldn't sit anymore. He stood up and started to move about the room.

'What I'm saying, Maddie, is that while you were in Chicago, I was one angry, depressed, self-destructive fuck-up who went out and trashed your car and had a one-night-stand.' He spoke the words not so much with ire, but with a sense of relief. Everything was out in the open now.

'Why are you telling me this, David?! Why are you telling me this now?!'

'For the longest time, I thought… I don't know what I thought… I guess maybe I thought you didn't need to know, that you'd be better off not knowing. That was the past, and I wanted it to stay in the past. The night meant nothing to me. She meant nothing to me. But then last weekend, the woman I slept with called me to ask if I would help her find her missing friend. I did, and that's why I was late to the New Year's Eve party. I knew telling you would hurt you, so I chose not to tell you.'

When he tried to reach out for her hand, she wouldn't let him touch her.

'I thought I was doin' the right thing, Maddie. Just like you did when you didn't tell me I'd been kicked off the Anselmo case.'

'That's hardly the same thing, David.'

'I know… you're right. Look, all I'm trying to say is… I just want to be honest with you. Carrying this burden around… makes me feel like I'm drowning...'

'And you expect me to throw you a life preserver?'

'I don't expect anything, Maddie, but what can I do?'

'I guess all you can do is tell me the truth… the whole truth.'

'I will… you wanna hear about the car?'

She shook her head, no.

'Probably for the best… I wasn't a very good crash test dummy anyway.'

She did not appreciate his attempt at humor. When he looked at her for reassurance, she said nothing. He sat back down on the chair facing her.

'Two weeks after you left, I went to a bar with the intent to get laid...'

Maddie couldn't help but grimace at that.

'... and I left with a woman who took me back to her place. We talked, we drank, we had sex, and then I left. That was it.'

Maddie thought the tone in his voice made him sound so cold.

'That was the night before Bert let the cat outta the bag, and I found out you were pregnant.'

Maddie was shocked. Shocked that he would do that. Shocked at the timing of it all. She didn't feel she had a right to be angry with him; she was the one who left. But why did he have to do that? Didn't he love her enough to wait? Didn't he love her enough to wait just long enough for her to figure things out? Wasn't it bad enough that she came home from Chicago to find that he had developed a close relationship with Terri? And now he tells her he had a one-night-stand! Was it too much to expect that he keep it in his pants? To abstain until she got back? But then she remembered her brief marriage to Walter Bishop, and realized that David was not the only one who had made a hurtful mistake.

And then… just like when she found out he'd been married before, her mind was suddenly flooded with a barrage of questions about this woman he'd slept with. Serious questions, ridiculous questions… questions she probably had no right to even ask.

'What does this woman look like? What's her name? Where did you meet?'

He looked at her like she was crazy, but she could not help her curiosity.

'Maddie, c'mon, why do you…'

She looked at him sternly.

'We met at The Metropolis. Her name is Rita, and she has long blonde hair. No, I didn't notice the color of her eyes.'

She lowered her head for a moment. She, too, had gone to the same bar once upon a time, looking for a night of passion with a nameless man. But that was different. Things were very different then…

'Where does she live? What do you know about her?'

'Maddie, why are you asking me all these questions?'

'David, this isn't just someone you had a one-night-stand with... she crossed a line when she sought you out to help her. You do know that, don't you? And how did she find you? What was it she wanted you to do?'

'I must've told her I was a detective. She admitted she searched through my wallet... so she knew my name. Her friend went missing, and she asked for my help.'

'I don't understand... why not just go to the police? Why call you?'

'It was complicated. There were drugs involved. She's a nurse at a clinic by the airport. She was afraid she'd lose her job.'

'Wow, and to think I felt bad working on the Anselmo case behind your back. I had no idea all this was going on that day... and there I was... sitting alone at that New Year's Eve party... looking like a fool.'

'I'm sorry, Maddie. I know I should've handled things differently that day. But I'm telling you now... that's all I can do.'

After hearing everything he'd just said to her, there was one nagging question that the little insecure part of her needed to ask.

'Is she pretty?'

'Maddie, would you stop? And please, don't go looking for her. I know you could find her, but please don't.'

'What makes you think I would do something like that?'

'Maddie, you're forgetting that I'm the guy you followed all the way from Los Angeles to New York City just so you could get a peek at my ex-wife.'

'Yeah, well, while we're being honest with each other, I should tell you that I did get a peek at your ex-wife.'

'What? How?'

'David, I went to the reception after the funeral, which I know you didn't attend. And I did speak with Tess that night.'

David shook his head. Letting him know she met with Tess was enough honesty for now. She didn't need to tell him she knew the whole story… that his wife left him for a woman. She didn't need to strip him of his dignity.

If David's sleeping with Rita was the arrow that wounded Maddie, then her going to that funeral was the arrow that wounded him.

'I can't believe you did that, and that you kept it a secret from me all this time.'

'I knew you'd be upset, David... I'm sorry.'

'I'm sorry, too.'

'So...'

'So...'

'What do we do now?' she asked.

'Makeup sex?'

'No, David.'

'Why?' he asked, spoken like he really didn't know.

'Well, because I'm sick for one thing, but David... makeup sex is what couples do after a fight. We didn't fight. We just let our skeletons out of the closet, and we didn't fight.'

'That's a good thing, right?'

'Shows real relationship growth...'

'Yeah, it does, doesn't it? Before you know it, we'll graduate to goin' steady.' He smiled at her.

'Don't you need to get back to the office and get some work done?' Now that the tension left her body, her cold symptoms returned, and she started coughing again.

'Yes, but... hold on, I'll be right back.' David ran into the kitchen and returned carrying a glass of water and a plate for the almost-forgotten cinnamon rolls that were still sitting in a bag on the coffee table. 'Here you go,' he said, as he handed her a plate with two of the sticky breakfast treats.

'Mmmm, they look delicious. I hope I can taste them.'

'I'd like to say they were made with love, but... they were definitely bought with love.'

She took a bite, and her eyes opened wide. The corners of her mouth curled up into a smile as she savored the delicious pastry.

'Gotta go.' He wiped some crumbs away from the side of her mouth. 'Get some rest and feel better, okay?'

She nodded her head, and watched as he blew her a kiss before leaving the room.

2:15 p.m.

Maddie was not one who handled it well to sit home on the couch all day. To her, the minutes felt like hours as the afternoon dragged on and on. At some point she turned on the television, but soap operas were the only shows airing at that time of day. For all Maddie knew, General Hospital was a medical show and Luke and Laura, the doctors, but for a short time, it was better than staring blankly out the living room window. Bored and tired, slowly her eyes began to close, until finally Maddie fell sound asleep.

In her slumber, she dreamed…

David took her hand and whispered, 'Let's go make a baby.' He walked with her up the spiral staircase and when he opened the French doors to her bedroom, she began to panic.

'Wait, David, no... it's too soon... I'm not ready for this...'

David suddenly disappeared, and Maddie found herself standing before the open elevator doors of the 20th floor about to set foot out into the hallway.

When she reached the office, she headed straight towards her desk. But when she pulled the chair out to sit down, she realized she wasn't in her office. She was in David's office, sitting on his leather couch. She was wondering how she got there when suddenly, David walked in with a tall, blonde, snooty-looking woman. The woman was gorgeous, like she could be on the cover of a magazine. In fact, she looked exactly like supermodel, Cheryl Tiegs! She was pregnant, and from the way he had his hand wrapped around her waist and planted right there on her derriere, she was clearly his significant other.

'Hey Maddie, good morning!'

'Good morning, David... can I speak with you privately for a moment?'

She put her hand around his arm and pulled him out the door and into the front office. 'David, why did you bring her here today?'

'Her, Maddie? She has a name, you know.'

'Okay... why did you bring Rita here today?'

'You know why, Maddie. She's due to have my baby any day now, and I think it's best if I stay close to her. I just know this one's gonna make it,' he said, excitedly. 'They say the third time's a charm, ya know.' He made a fist and bumped her shoulder. 'We're really hoping for a boy. I've always wanted a son.'

She was left speechless by his cavalier attitude towards her and the baby boy they'd lost.

'Oh, and Maddie... Terri called. She wanted me to pick up some groceries, but I wouldn't wanna drag Rita through the food store in her delicate condition. Could you do me a big favor and pick up a few things for her, and maybe pick out a baby toy for little Wally from his good ol' Uncle David?'

'No, David, I can't... I can't do this... I'm… I'm…' She closed her eyes, and when she opened them, she was standing in the doorway to her bedroom. David was with her, holding her hand. 'I'm not ready for this... I can't. I know you want to be a father, David... but I'm just not ready yet to try again.'

He didn't have to say a word; his actions said it all. She looked down at their intertwined fingers… slowly, he let go of her hand. He took a few steps back, and turned to walk down the stairs. 'David?' She called out to him. 'David, where are you going? Don't leave…'

'David! David!' Maddie woke up on her couch. She was sweating and her heart was beating out of her chest. But she was relieved that was just a dream. When she saw the bag of cinnamon rolls he'd brought her sitting on the coffee table, she smiled.

Then she laid her head back down on the pillow, and took a deep breath. She thought about the strange dream she'd just had, and she wondered... did he use protection when he slept with Rita? She didn't want to think the woman could show up one day and claim David was the father of her kid. But then again, maybe that'd be for the best. Maybe this Rita, whoever she is... maybe this Rita…

She didn't want to do this... to start feeling sorry for herself again. But deep down, even though logically she knew there was nothing more she could've done, she would always feel that losing their baby was her fault. And after the trauma she went through, how could she ever bring herself to want to try again? It's not that she didn't want to have a child, she did. She just wasn't sure yet. And Maddie needed to be sure.

Maybe it was to stop herself from thinking about the baby, but she turned her thoughts to Rita. Who was this woman who took David back to her place for the sole purpose of having meaningless sex? Was she anything like the aloof woman in her dream? More likely, she was just the first bimbo that threw herself at him. It made her feel sad. It made her feel curious.

David was right: she could find Rita if she wanted to. And she wanted to… she wanted to… real bad.

Friday, January 6, 1989

4:00 p.m.

Maddie had woken up very early in the morning. She was still sick, but while incredibly annoying, her nagging cough and congestion meant she had a perfectly good reason for requesting a visit with the doctor that day. She had waited till the office opened, and she called to make an appointment. The earliest they could see her was at 4:30. She took the timeslot.

She was early when she arrived, so she took a seat in the waiting room of the family health clinic. This was not Maddie's regular doctor, nor was it the type of office she would typically go to, nor was it in a part of town she would normally visit. But after making several phone calls the day before inquiring about women named "Rita" who appear in the Registry of Nurses for the Greater Los Angeles Area, she finally found what she was looking for. There was a 29-year-old woman named Rita Corley who worked as a nurse at a place called Metro Family Healthcare. As it turned out, the clinic was just a few city blocks away from the Metropolis. All the pieces fell into place. Maddie wasn't certain this was the woman David slept with, but she felt if she could just see her, she would know.

Maddie purposely situated herself in a chair near the doorway the nurses used when they called for their patients. From there, she could easily read the name tags on their uniforms. There was a part of her that felt so silly for doing this. There was absolutely no reason for her being there other than to satisfy her own curiosity. And for what? To know she was prettier? To know that David could do no better than her? Wasn't that really what this was all about? She pursed her lips and looked down at the floor.

The place was busy. Nurse after nurse came out, but not one named Rita. Maddie began to think being there was futile, until suddenly... there she was.

The woman standing in front of her was nothing like the woman she imagined. She didn't seem aloof or like she was a floozy or a tramp. This woman was beautiful and confident, but also very much the girl next door. She had long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, making her look younger than her 29 years. She wore light pink scrubs with her name, RN, Rita Corley, embroidered on the front.

She was not Maddie's nurse, but rather a pediatric nurse. Rita called the name of a little boy who was giving his father a hard time about going in to see the doctor. When he refused to come, she went over to the boy, crouched down and spoke to him. Maddie couldn't hear what Rita said, but she noticed that the little boy stopped crying and started to smile. He took Rita's hand and stood tall and brave, ready to walk with the nurse and his dad back to see the doctor. It was a sweet scene that touched Maddie's heart.

An hour later, Maddie was in her car driving home. She had set out to find the woman David slept with and, well... mission accomplished. Only seeing the woman didn't give her closure like the way it did when she finally met his ex-wife, Tess. Tess, Maddie found out, was never right for David, but this woman, Rita... she could be a real contender to win David's heart if she ever wanted to try.

Even after seeing Rita in person, it was still hard for Maddie to believe David had sex with her. But as upsetting as the thought was, she couldn't bring herself to hate him for it. She knew she turned his whole world upside down when she left for Chicago in the middle of the night. She knew in her heart that if she had only let him call her once in a while... let him vent his frustrations and tell her how he felt, that he would never have strayed.

But she didn't, and so he did.

Maddie didn't like the fact that just last weekend, Rita reached out to David. That bothered her more than anything… even more than the one-night-stand they'd had ten months ago. This time it was for help in finding her friend, but what if there was a next time? An invite to dinner, or something more?

Oh, why couldn't Rita have been a bimbo, or a barfly, or even a bitch? On second thought, maybe not a bitch. As it was, David had called her a bitch once, straight to her face, and then proceeded to take her to bed and confess his undying love.

6:15 p.m.

David asked the cabbie to let him off at the bottom of her driveway. When he walked up the pavement, he was surprised to see that her car was not there. He let himself in the house, and right there on a side table in the foyer, he found a handwritten note.

"4:30 Metro Family Healthcare"

He didn't need to be a detective to know that was not Maddie's regular doctor.

He heard her car pull up, and he placed the note back on the table. She walked in the door, and was surprised to see him there.

'David, hi! I wasn't expecting you. Why are the lights off?'

'I just got here. Are you okay?' He went to her and looked deep into her eyes, trying to convey that he knew where she was, but without saying the words.

'Yeah, I'm okay,' she whispered. He sensed a hesitancy in her voice, like she wanted to tell him the truth, but just couldn't. Then she said, 'I'm feeling much better.'

'That's good. I just left work and took a chance that maybe you'd feel up to having a little company tonight.'

'I would love a little company tonight.' She reached for him and pulled him into a tight embrace.

'Yeah, I figured we could start with a warm bubble bath, a soothing back massage, maybe a foot rub. Your doctor called… said he highly recommended those things…'

She stepped away from him, and said, 'You know, don't you? I mean... where I was this afternoon... you know.'

In the dim light, he searched for the notepaper on the side table. He found it and held it up for her to see. Jokingly he said, 'Maddie, if you're trying to keep something a secret, you've got to stop leaving your notes lying around for me to find.'

She was caught. He caught her again. 'I'm sorry... I know you asked me not to go looking for her, but I...'

'Hey, hey, hey,' he took her hands in his. 'I get it. It's okay. You're curious... I'd be curious, too.'

'I wanted to tell you... it was on the tip of my tongue...'

He reached up and placed his finger on her lips. 'Maddie, if anything is going to be on the tip of your tongue, I want it to be me.' He gave her his lop-sided grin, which made her body flush with a warmth, not from fever, but from desire. 'Now, can we close the door on all that and move forward?'

She nodded her head, yes.

'… and get back to that warm bubble bath... doctor's orders...'

A/N: Thank you for reading. Feedback is always appreciated.