Chapter XX: I have failed you, Ethan
{Background image for this chapter: Tarot card XX - Judgement (reversed)}
All I remember next is waking up in Silent Hill again, with an upset stomach. Father Giorgio told me he had successfully replaced the seal from Vincent's pocket and asked me to go witness Vincent's death if I wanted. I turned him down and went to Rosewater Park instead. The park was the same old stupid foggy one. I couldn't find you and fell to my knees in frustration and hate. In a spur of weakness I even thought of joining the Order, out of spite. But thankfully, at least that was not a real desire of my heart; I would never sink that low.
I feel strange. I think Vincent just died. He died, I can feel it. I think a great horror is coming towards me. Forgive me for my failure.
Before going to witness Vincent's death, Father Giorgio gazed profoundly at that disgusting 'monster-me' and spoke what I now feel were the last words I would hear from him: "Always from time to time I felt like there was a "monster" in me wanting to get out. I would fear such release was impending, and that I was being tested; I struggled and felt like I had to, and feared I'd fall into total succumbence at every corner. But that was before, for this town, by means of its plainly visible horror made me see clearly and doubtlessly how I'm so much stronger than I could have ever thought. That monster is feebler now than it ever was before and I can plainly rest safe it will never get out. An absolute catharsis has taken place within my being. I had come to this town to destroy the "Gateway to Hell", and, ironically, I now realise that I have done already and not externally, but within my own self - In fact, I have effectively severed my internal monster's access to my Soul. Destroying this town would be useless (it wouldn't stop Hell); indeed Hell doesn't ever stretch its arms too us; it doesn't need to when it is we ourselves that often rather willingly welcome it into our hearts".