So I was asked about a kidfic, and I personally don't see Rose actively attempting to get pregnant. If they were to have a kid, this feels more in character for me. But like I said, this is just what I think.

Enjoy :)

My feet ached, and my eyes wanted nothing more than to close as I waited for the elevator to reach my floor. Usually, I would take the stairs, a little extra cardio, but I didn't have the energy after the week I had.

After travelling with Lissa as she went to meeting after meeting around the States, I was excited to be home and have non-stop skin-on-skin contact with my fiance. A warm pizza box balanced on my hand, and I was going to have Dimitri feed it to me while he was shirtless and whispering dirty things in my ear.

A blissful smile spread across my face, and I felt a little extra bounce in my step when the doors opened. We were only a couple of doors down, with only a handful of tenets on each floor. It took a lot of pushing from Abe, but we finally gave in and accepted his help in buying an apartment. It was close to the palace, but not so much that we were surrounded by stuck-up royals.

The building was a big step up from Guardian housing, and that was better than we ever thought we would have. Three bedrooms, a large kitchen and a living room. It was perfect for when his family visited, and even had a balcony where we could watch the sunset.

I unlocked the door and kicked it open with a shout, "Dimitri! I hope you are ready for the best night ever of pizza, and a saucy side of–" my eyes flicked down, and I squeaked, "Child?"

Standing a few feet from me and with a lost look on their face was a small boy. He couldn't be more than ten years old, with choppy brown hair that almost covered his eyes and stood up in every direction. His green eyes shined as if he had been crying, but his expression was so blank you couldn't tell.

I stood still and took a moment to wonder if I had walked into someone else's apartment. I glanced to the side and spotted Dimitri's duster on the hook by the door. Further in the living room, on the entrance table, was a framed photo of Dimitri and me.

Yep, this was my home.

I looked back at the kid and tilted my head to the side, a movement he mirrored. "Who do you belong to?"

The kid stared back silently; eventually, he shrugged and then inhaled sharply, like he was holding back a sob. I really hoped he wasn't about to cry; each time it happened I panicked, something Viktoria took great joy in watching when we visited.

"Right," I drawled. "Dimitri!" I shouted, praying he would come around the corner and explain what the fuck was going on. I'm sure the kid was nice and all, but he was in the way of a good night I had planned.

The kid jumped a little, and I felt bad. I was about to try to calm him when I heard footsteps. Dimitri came from the bedrooms; he was flustered and looked nervous, "You're home early." I pulled a face at his greeting, which made him wince.

"Yeah, I wanted to surprise you." I paused, eyes widened when I noticed a woman come from the same room Dimitri had. I raised my brows. "Who are you?"

Dimitri flushed and quickly waved behind him at the woman, "This is Guardian Williams; she was just helping me."

"Helping you with what?" I asked with an edge to my tone. Dimitri had a lot of blanks to fill in for me.

"Can you watch Noah," Dimitri asked Williams; she smiled and called to the kid in Russian. My disbelief and confusion grew ten folds when she led the kid down the hall to the spare bedroom. Dimitri noticed my reaction and took my elbow to guide me into the kitchen, "Before you jump to a wild conclusion–"

"Jump? And what wild conclusion am I jumping to, comrade?" I hissed.

He sighed, took the pizza from me and set it on the counter, gesturing for me to follow him out onto the balcony. He wanted privacy to explain what was going on and that made me more nervous.

I stepped outside and spun on him as soon as the door was closed. "Why is there a kid here? And who is Guardian Williams? And why the fuck were you two in a bedroom together?" There was a logical part of me that knew Dimitri would never do anything to betray my trust, but that part was silenced by the fact I had been awake for forty-eight hours straight.

"The kid is Noah. Williams was helping me set up his room for the night."

I pulled back in confusion. "Why is Noah staying here?" The boy's name sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it.

Dimitri released a long breath, and his expression became drawn. A feeling of dread settled in my stomach.

I cringed. "You have a very serious face. I'm not going to like this, am I?"

"Probably not," he replied and rubbed the bridge of his nose. I noticed then the strain on his face, a barely concealed sorrow. "Do you remember me mentioning my friend Anya?"

I nodded, "Yeah, you went to school with her and–Oh! Noah, that's her son, right?" The pieces clicked, and I remembered Dimitri showing me a picture of that same kid, though he had been a couple of years younger in it. His mother was Moroi, and it always struck me as unique that she was rising her dhampir son.

"I found out a couple of hours ago that she died earlier this week in a Strigoi attack."

My face dropped, glancing back into the house. "Fuck. That poor kid. What's he doing here, though?"

"That's the hard part," Dimitri grimaced. "When Anya got pregnant, we stayed close. All of her family turned their back on her and she ended up staying with Ivan and me for a while until she figured out her next steps. Anya got a job over here, and gave birth not long after Ivan died."

Dimitri took another breath and gripped the handrailing, eyes staring blankly ahead. That dread in my stomach became heavier. "When she gave birth, she had no one else, and she asked me to be Noah's legal guardian if anything ever happened to her."

I felt the blood drain from my face. "Wait. Are you saying that… What are you saying exactly?"

"I'm saying," he turned to face me, "that two hours ago, Guardian Williams showed up and said that legally, I am Noah's guardian now. I'm all he has left."

My lips parted. I took a step back, and then another until my knees hit the seat of the wooden chair and I dropped down into it. "Her family–"

"They tried them—to inform them she had died—but none of them answered. Rose, I swear when I agreed, I never considered anything would come of it. I kept in contact and visited a few times, but never expected…."

I nodded, though my body felt numb. Dimitri had visited them; the last time a couple of months ago because Christian had needed to go to California. I never thought much about it, and Dimitri never mentioned before about him agreeing to be a guardian to her kid.

All the air left me as I leaned back in the chair, closing my eyes.

"Roza, talk to me. What are you thinking?"

I looked at him and didn't know what to say at first. I licked my lips, "What are you going to do?"

He became flustered again. "I don't know," he replied as his fingers dragged through his hair. "We will have to get some furniture. He only has a suitcase of things; so we would need more clothes and toys. And then I'll have to look into schools–"

My brows furrowed, and I shot up from the chair. "Wait a minute," I interrupted him. "Are you actually considering keeping him?"

Dimitri's eyes hardened, "I can't just kick him out. He has nowhere else to go."

"I'm not saying we put him on the streets or anything," I reasoned. "We can't have a kid, comrade. We both work full-time and in dangerous jobs. What happens to him if you get killed?"

"So, what?" he asked sharply, becoming defensive, "Am I meant to just hand him to an academy or something? I'm sure you remember how much you liked that. I promised Anya that I would look after Noah, and I'm not just going to drop him off somewhere just because it would be easier!"

I groaned in irritation, "Yeah, well I didn't agree to this. I don't want a kid, Dimitri!"

Anger flashed in Dimitri's eyes; he shook his head and stepped away from me. "I'm not kicking him out," he declared and then turned and marched back inside, leaving me stunned.

I dropped back into the chair and covered my face with my hands. Way to fuck up, Hathaway.

I chose not to risk starting another argument and took a slice of pizza, and then closed myself off in our bedroom. I realised I could have handled the whole conversation better, but I had said exactly how I felt—I didn't want a kid.

I knew there was a chance for Dimitri and me to have our own, something we never considered. While I knew Dimitri had once had the idea of having a family of his own, it was never a fantasy I had. He was right that I hated that my mother just left me at the academy, but I also understood that she wanted to be able to build her career. I would always be hurt that she chose her job over me, and that's why I would never do it to a kid.

Dimitri wasn't thinking it through. If he did get killed, what would happen to Noah? Just passed around to another new place?

My heart ached for Noah, but I couldn't take in a child.

It wasn't a life I wanted.

I had showered and was in bed ready to go to sleep when Dimitri joined me in the bedroom, turning off the hallway light before he closed our door but left it open just a crack. I eyed him and waited to see if he wanted to talk, but he avoided eye contact. Guess I was getting the silent treatment.

After being away for a week, this wasn't what I expected when coming home. I didn't even get a hug before everything imploded. My shoulders sagged as I accepted that we weren't going to make up until later and climbed under the blankets.

I chewed on my bottom lip, peeking over my shoulder at his bare back; his muscles flexed as he pulled off his socks and jeans. "I missed you," I whispered. It was silly, but we had developed a tradition when one of us returned after being away on a trip. Not saying it felt wrong.

Dimitri stilled, not turning to face me. "I missed you, too," he finally spoke, though his voice was flat. He was still pissed.

I swallowed down the words on the tip of my tongue and looked straight ahead again. Maybe he needed the night to calm down, and then we could try talking about it in the morning. Surely, he just needed a little time.

Two days had passed, and Dimitri was still barely talking to me.

I tried to approach the subject again, gently dropping suggestions about asking Olena, but I was shot down quickly. Again, I was reminded that he wasn't going to just dump Noah on someone else.

After that, I decided to wait and let him come to me. He had to realise that him keeping Noah didn't just affect his life but mine as well. I thought I had made it clear years ago that I didn't want kids, and I thought he accepted that.

Noah was a strange kid, silent and blank-faced. He would make an amazing guardian with that poker face. When Dimitri spoke to him, he would speak Russian; I didn't know if that was because Noah only spoke Russian or if it was just so I couldn't understand them.

I watched them interact as I drank a cup of hot chocolate.

As much I hated to admit it, it was nice watching Dimitri around kids, the way his face lit up. He was a natural with them, and they brought him so much joy. I always noticed it with his nieces and nephew, but I never felt that same excitement as he did. They were nice enough to be around and play games with, but then I got to give them back to their mothers and not have to worry anymore.

Couldn't do that if the kid was living with you.

"How long did you get off?" I asked; testing the waters to see if it was safe enough to start a conversation. When I asked who would be looking after Noah, Dimitri simply said him but didn't elaborate.

Slowly, Dimitri's eyes met mine, whispering something to Noah who kept colouring in. Dimitri moved around the kitchen island and started cleaning the dishes in the sink. "I asked for a week off. It should be long enough to get him into school or something."

"Right."

He gave me a look of warning. "Not now, Rose."

I put my hands up in surrender, "I'm not saying anything." It wasn't like he would listen to anything I said.

"Roza," he sighed in exasperation.

I dumped what was left of my drink in the second sink and put the cup into the dishwasher. "Look, you do what you want, don't have to run it by me anymore." I was being petty, but the fact Dimitri was doing something that would affect both of our lives so much and refused to talk about it pissed me off. I couldn't say I was willing to change my stance on the matter, but I would have preferred to be a part of the discussion.

I paused before I passed Noah, meeting his bright green eyes. I felt terrible that he was stuck in the middle of it.

It would be so much easier if I wanted a kid.

I reached out and ruffled his hair, "See you later, kid."

Lissa's eyes were wide and eager for all of the information. I had the day before off and didn't inform her of the new development, instead, she heard from Christian and now I was cornered by her.

"So Dimitri is practically a dad now," she mused, her nails tapping on her desk. "He is really good with children."

"Yeah, I'm well aware," I chided, a frown on my face. Lissa was another lover of kids, she couldn't understand where I was coming from. Not to mention, Lissa didn't have to worry about what it was like to be a guardian with a child—or even what it was like to be a female guardian.

I had dealt with a lot of people judging me over the years for my decision to be with a man I couldn't have children with. A lot of people believed that having children was the greatest thing a female dhampir could do—continue the race and birth out more future guardians.

They could all go play in traffic for all I cared.

I wanted to have a career and to be able to enjoy my life which could very well be cut short at any point.

"That's a big development in your life," Lissa started, tone careful. "How do you feel about it?"

I glanced at her and saw that she was genuinely concerned; it was more than Dimitri had offered me. "I don't know, but I don't have much of a say."

"Doesn't sound like Dimitri did either."

I scowled. "He made the choice, and I either have to get on board with it or–" I cut myself off, dreading what I would have said.

Lissa shifted closer to me; her hand covered mine and squeezed. "You aren't thinking of leaving him, are you?"

"I don't know," I replied honestly, sinking further into my seat. The thought had crossed my mind, but the pain I felt just considering it made me push it away into the back of my mind. It sounded so extreme to leave the man I loved just because I didn't want to become a parent.

But I was concerned about my resentment towards being made one without my consent growing, and was worried about how that would affect Noah.

He was the one that was really suffering, having lost his mother and only family. Then he was shipped across the country and left with a man he had seen a couple of times, and a woman he had never met.

"What do I do, Liss?" I begged, turning hopeful eyes to her.

She tilted her head to the side, "What do you want to do?"

"To not have to choose between the life I want and the life that Dimitri has now."

Lissa regarded me for a moment, carefully considering her response. "A relationship will always be about compromise, Rose. I know it isn't what you wanted, but sometimes life will give you something that you don't want. It's up to you to decide if you crumble under the weight of it or if you take it for what it is."

"And what's that?" I asked, and Lissa gave me a soft smile.

"A chance to experience something new. Something that could prove to be even better than you could have imagined."

I hesitated outside our apartment door, two boxes of pizza in my hands. I made sure to get one exactly how Dimitri liked it, and the other was a plain pepperoni pizza. I didn't know what Noah liked and decided to play it safe.

I took a deep breath. It was a chance a something new. I reminded myself.

In the end, being with Dimitri was worth taking on this challenge. Lissa was right about the world throwing something unexpected at you. I had dealt with many curveballs; I managed to make it through them all—this was just the latest.

Before I could chicken out, I opened the front door and entered, kicking the door shut behind me. I could hear the television, catching sight of some kid's show playing. Noah was sitting in front of it, eyes wide as he stared at it.

At first, I couldn't see Dimitri, but then I noticed his feet hanging off the edge of the couch. I placed the pizza on the kitchen counter and then went back to the loungeroom and peered over the couch at him.

He was laid out with one arm coving his face and the other clutching a phone. I knew he wasn't sleeping, but he must've been deep in thought not to hear me come in. I reached down and ran my fingers through his hair, startling him.

Dimitri moved his arm and looked up at me with tired eyes, I could tell he was on guard in case I was about to start another argument, but he also looked grateful to see me. His fingers caught mine and loosely curled around them.

"I bought pizza," I told him with a soft smile. "Figured you wouldn't want to cook."

Relief washed over his face, "Thanks."

I squeezed his fingers and then let him go. If I was going to give it a chance, then I needed to put in the effort.

I approached Noah and kneeled beside him; I hoped my smile was friendly and didn't show how nervous I was. "Hey, do you want some pizza?" I asked, silently praying he did know English.

Noah stared at me for a second, looked at the television and then back to me. He tilted his head, pointing his finger at the screen.

"You can watch your show while eating?" I replied, hoping that was what he meant.

After a moment, he stood and waited with eyes on me. I took that as my queue and stood up. Noah walked with me to the kitchen and climbed up onto one of the bar stools that lined the kitchen island.

I flipped open both boxes and grabbed plates. "Which one do you want?"

He pointed at the five meat selection I got for Dimitri, and I shrugged my shoulders. Guess Dimitri was sharing. I served Noah, and he quickly climbed down and sped walk back into the loungeroom with his piece of pizza. I grabbed a couple of slices for Dimitri and me, then followed after him.

Dimitri had sat up and taken the plate I held out to him. "How was work?" He asked tentatively, eyes moving from watching Noah to meeting mine.

I shrugged, "I had a long talk with Lissa. How was calling schools?"

"It's harder than I thought. I don't know if it's because it's the middle of the semester or if it's because he's a dhampir."

I hummed, making a mental note to ask around tomorrow to find a spot for Noah.

"What did you talk to Lissa about?" Dimitri sounded unsure, and I watched how his body tensed.

"About what I want to do." I whispered so Noah couldn't hear me, "If I wanted to be part of raising a kid or if I should bow out before things got too messy."

Dimitri inhaled sharply. "What did you decide?"

"I'll admit, I'm still on the edge." Dimitri's eyes pinched, panic filling them; I took his hand in mine and squeezed reassuringly. "But," I continued, "I want to be with you, and if that means some things will be different than I had imagined, then so be it. That's life. But I want to be included in the conversation, Dimitri. You can't block me out of something so important."

He dropped his eyes in shame, nodding his head, "You're right. I know I made such a big decision for us and didn't talk to you about it. Things just moved so quickly…" His eyes met mine again, "I'm sorry, Roza."

I leaned over and tilted my head up to kiss his cheek. "It's okay, comrade. From now on, we do this together. Agreed?"

A warm smile pulled at the corners of his lips, "Agreed."

That night we slept curled up together, limbs tangled and not much space between us. Dimitri clung to me, a tightness in his shoulders that only slowly released as I rubbed his back.

"I spoke to her two days before the attack," Dimitri whispered, his voice cracking. I wrapped my arms around him tightly. With everything happening with Noah, I'd forgotten that Dimitri had lost a close friend.

"I'm sorry." There wasn't much I could say; none of it would make him feel better.

"It just happened so fast. I became so focused on making sure Noah was okay that I disregarded you. I'm so sorry, Roza." He drew back from me, his expression a mix of regret and shame, "I was selfish and just expected you to want the same, despite knowing that it isn't. But I don't know what else to do. I feel like asking someone else to take him would be betraying her wishes."

I ran my fingers through his hair, listening to him. It's what we both should have done from the start—just listened to each other.

"I'm worried that–" Dimitri cut himself off, shaking his head and pulled me back in.

"Worried about what?" I asked, trying to shift to see his face again. "Dimitri?"

"It's selfish of me, but what if this was our only chance of making a family?"

"But Noah isn't our kid, not really," I replied after a moment.

Dimitri released a shaky breath and nodded, "You're right." That wasn't the response he wanted from me, but I doubted I could have said anything else.

We lapsed into silence, and I thought Dimitri was asleep when he spoke again, squeezing me for a moment.

"I don't want to lose you, Roza."

"I know," I soothed him. "We will figure something out."

Not sure if I will write another chapter, but I do have some ideas.

Please be nice, this really is just a random idea I had one day :)

Thank you for reading :)