When Katsuki woke up, it was 5:27 A.M., an appropriate time to wake up, if you asked the fucking Devil. Katsuki could already imagine the old hag screeching like a banshee, "Wake up, brat! You got school in two and a half hours!" and waking up the whole damn block.
But last night, Katsuki had stayed up super late watching the new Eraserhead video that had gone viral all over the Internet, or rather, the few Pro Hero forums Katsuki followed almost religiously.
The video was of such terrible quality that he had to spend extra time deciphering what was going on, so he was extra tired this morning. He'd just kept rewinding and rewatching and before he knew it- it was 12:34 and Katsuki hadn't slept a wink. What's worse is that it's already mid-April, so school was starting soon, and Mitsuki gets all bitchy if Katsuki got into the habit of sleeping in so close to school time.
Damn old hag. She's always fucking off with her design and PR team, but she always finds time to rip Katsuki a new one if his school records aren't squeaky clean. Please, as if she hadn't played hooky once or twice a week.
Katsuki should get up. He should get up and ready himself for the day. He should make himself awake and presentable on the off chance that Mitsuki checks in on him. It would save him a lot of yelling and nagging later on.
But the bed screamed his name, and the warmth was too tempting. The sun was effectively blocked out by the black curtains he so painstakingly chose, and the house bore a lazy, comfortable silence. Soon, Katsuki began to fall back into the hazy clutches of sleep.
After what felt like mere seconds of darkness, Katsuki was woken up again by a loud, buzzing, ping! noise.
ping ping ping
It was Katsuki's text notification alert.
Katsuki groaned. Who the ever-loving fuck was texting him? None of the extras from Aldera and his numerous extracurricular classes bothered to text him, and Izuku probably wasn't even awake yet. Katsuki sighed. If it was Mitsuki, it would be better to check his phone and answer right away, if only to assure his mother that no, he was not sleeping in. She was his mother, but she could be a right bitch sometimes.
Katsuki pushed himself up into a semi-upright position and grabbed his phone. God, he both hoped it was and wasn't Mitsuki. If it was Mitsuki, that meant that he had avoided a potential shitstorm, but at the same time, if it was Mitsuki- he'd have to waste away his morning to deal with her. Nagging mothers; the end to all good mornings.
If it wasn't Mitsuki, then hallelujah, it wasn't Mitsuki! But that meant that Katsuki had effectively lost all chances of going back to sleep for some random motherfucker.
Lo and behold, when Katsuki checked his phone, a message sent by "Old Hag" was waiting for him.
(5:34 A.M.) Old Hag: Happy birthday. Masaru forwarded some money to your bank account. Go get yourself a cake and a present. You can spend the day with Inko and Izuku. Play nice.
Oh yeah, it was his birthday, his thirteenth, to be exact. He'd forgotten- because it wasn't exactly easy to remember when there was no one to talk to other than Izuku and Auntie Inko. Izuku only talked about Heroes and Quirks. Masaru said it's because Izuku can't ever be a hero, and some part of him acknowledges this, but the rest of the nerd is still dreaming
Auntie Inko discussed Izuku, cooking, or just exchanging pleasantries.
Another ping caught Katsuki's attention. It was another text, this time from Masaru.
(5: 36 A.M.) Old Man: Happy 13th birthday, Katsuki ( 3 )! I hope you have a good day! As you know, your mother's working hard in Milan. She says she's sorry she couldn't make it home for your birthday, you know how it is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I'm still in Ricardo, Texas. Sorry about that. Some of the Americans can be pretty- er, vacuous. New word for you (✿◠‿◠)! Anyways, I wired ¥50,000 to your bank account. I hope that'll cover a decent cake, maybe even enough for you to get yourself something pleasant. Have a good birthday! （￣ε￣ʃƪ）
Well, it was abundantly clear Masaru spent a lot of time correcting his grammar and making a thoughtful message. Masaru still used way too many emoticons. It was a little irritating how Masaru was telling him to buy stuff. Katsuki can do whatever he damn well pleases! Granted, usually, it is practical stuff, like books and groceries, but still, the point stands.
Katsuki sighed. He dragged himself out of bed and went to brush his teeth. Birthdays are so fucking stupid. Why should Katsuki drop everything to celebrate him being born? It's not like anyone else is.
Katsuki aggressively jabbed his toothbrush against his teeth.
Whatever. The nerd and Auntie Inko are probably going to come over for a few hours later today, as they do every year. Ugh. Izuku probably wrote a wholeass essay a month in advance as to what to get Katsuki today. No, a year in advance. Izuku probably noted what Katsuki'd been eyeing up for a while, and started a queue so he could eventually gift Katsuki everything he'd ever want.
"Fucking die," Katsuki growled, tromping on the stupidly warm bursts in his chest, "Die, you shitty fucktards." The paste was gritty and grainy, and overall, it tasted terrible. He spat out the toothpaste and rinsed his mouth. The minty aftertaste clung pleasantly to his jaws.
Katsuki finished his morning routine, complete with washing his face and scrolling through a few Pro Hero news sites.
By then, it was 8 o'clock, so Katsuki went downstairs to his kitchen to make his meals for today. Katsuki had a system in place- one made and approved by Mitsuki. Admittedly, it made grocery shopping and cooking much simpler. At the beginning of every week, he'd plan out his meals, check the nutritional value, and then get the necessary ingredients.
Today was baked eggs for breakfast, whatever Auntie Inko or Izuku decided for lunch, then curry for dinner.
Katsuki began pulling out ingredients for baked eggs. It was a simple recipe, just something Katsuki found in passing on the Internet and piqued Katsuki's interest.
Katsuki preheated the oven to 350 degrees and headed to the kitchen counter to prepare the eggs and cook the rice. Katsuki cleaned the white rice, put it in the rice cooker, and eyeballed the water level as he poured it into the rice cooker. Mitsuki got pissed when he did that, but he was a good enough chef now to know when to stop. She's just being a bitch and a worrywart. Katsuki jabbed the rice cooker buttons and let it run.
In a greased muffin pan, Katsuki cracked open a dozen eggs, one egg into each indent in the pan, and carefully spread milk over each one in a thin layer. At last, Katsuki sprinkled salt and pepper over the eggs for seasoning. Katsuki grabbed the pan and stuck it in the oven, carefully making sure the eggs didn't spill out. Katsuki set the timer for 15 minutes and pulled out his phone to pass the time.
Katsuki scrolled through r/heroshots. It was a quiet day. Some D-lister Pro Hero posted a selfie of a pile-up in the streets of some backwater city in Kyushu. All Might had been spotted in Sendai, but the poster didn't mention what he did there.
DING-DONG
DING-DONG
DING-DONG
DING-DONG
"I'm fucking coming!" Katsuki howled, "Shut the fuck up, shithead!" It must be Izuku. A delivery man would've politely left after the first ring, and no one else came unannounced. Katsuki hurried off to open the door. God, that bell was annoying. Katsuki should have it changed. He heard it the most, and it would probably take Mitsuki half a year to notice- if she did at all.
Katsuki yanked open the front door to be greeted by the sight of two broccoli people. Auntie Inko and Izuku were standing on Katsuki's front steps, their faces adorned with matching grins that split their faces. Auntie Inko was wearing her classic pink sweater and blue skirt. Mitsuki called the classic outfit "endearing," but Masaru always stifled a wince whenever he saw it. Of course, nobody's gonna say it to Auntie Inko's face. It's not bad, perse, but it's not good.
Izuku was wearing a blue, official All Might shirt and green khakis a couple shades darker than his hair. Not bad, all things considered. Katsuki's seen him wear an atrocity that just had a "shirt" printed on the front. Nerd, through and through.
"Auntie Inko, Izuku," Katsuki gave a curt nod of acknowledgment.
"Hey, Kacchan!" Izuku held up a small, offensively vibrant purple box up to Katsuki like an offering to the gods, "Happy Birthday!" Katsuki grunted in affirmation, wordlessly stepping aside for Izuku to clamber in. Izuku happily complied, slipping off his shoes and bounding inside to make himself comfortable.
"Pardon the intrusion!" Izuku chorused, even though it's just Katsuki home. It's always just Katsuki at home.
"Happy Birthday, Katsuki-kun," Auntie Inko bowed slightly in greeting, which Katsuki cordially returned, "It's good to see you again, it's been so long! My, you've grown so much since I've last seen you. Are your parents home? Maa, I haven't seen Mitsuki in ages!"
"Nah, the old hag's still in Milan, and the old man is in America. They got caught up in some last-minute bullshit," Katsuki muttered and shrugged, "It's whatever." Inko sighed and nodded sadly, but she looked more resigned than anything. It wasn't exactly like this was a new situation for either of them. It was weirder that Auntie Inko was still asking.
"Kacchan!" Izuku called from inside the house, "C'mere! I wanna show you something!" Katsuki rolled his eyes. Like he couldn't guess what Izuku wanted to "show him." It was probably the new Eraserhead video that had been leaked last night. The nerd couldn't not talk about Pros every second of the day even if he wanted to.
But Izuku didn't have a lot of friends, so it's just up to Katsuki to humor him. Katsuki only has Izuku, and Izuku only has Katsuki. They're two lonely peas in a pod.
"I'm coming, you damn nerd!" Auntie Inko laughed despite the harsh words Katsuki spewed. Izuku was sitting on the couch, hunched over Auntie Inko's phone, tapping away at something.
"Fucking what?" Katsuki flopped onto the couch right next to Izuku, peeking over his shoulder. It was the new video. Izuku looked up from the phone and beamed at Katsuki, shifting himself so Katsuki couldn't see the "surprise." Suddenly, Izuku was shoving the phone straight into Katsuki's face, getting so close that it smacked Katsuki's nose. It didn't hurt, but ex-fucking-cuse you, Izuku.
"Look, look!"
Katsuki pushed the phone out of his face and grumbled, "I know, I saw it." Of course it's going to be Eraserhead, who the fuck else dresses like that and looks like a hobo serial killer? Izuku just brushes off his brusque tone.
"Yeah! So cool, right?" Izuku grinned, and Katsuki nodded in agreement because it was fucking Eraserhead , how could he be anything but badass? His Quirk was to negate other people's Quirks. Even if for only a few seconds at a time, it was awesome to see a Hero fighting with power so similar to Katsuki's. "Yeah, so he made some adjustments to his costume, see? It's a different weave- bullets and other weapons that graze him will just slide off, rather than injure him. Like- like- uh-"
"Chainmail?" Katsuki supplied. He'd read the tidbit analysis essays and two-cent, throw-away comments on the video.
"Yes!" Izuku said, "This way, if Eraserhead doesn't have to worry about fully dodging an attack- less thinking to be done!" Katsuki nodded again.
Izuku continued to comment on small things, like how the villains weren't using their Quirks to their full potential- even offering tips as to how the villains could use the Quirks to be more versatile.
Goddamn, Izuku would make a freakishly good Villain. Not that he would- got too good a heart for that- but still.
Katsuki could see some familiar faces- Midnight, the R-rated hero, Present Mic, the Voice Hero, and Endeavor, the Flame Hero, but he didn't recognize some of the other Heroes.
"The villain with the tentacle, arms, see? He's been dubbed Takogo, as in Octo-Egg, because he can squirt a bunch of egg sacs out of his mouth," Izuku pointed to the villain in the corner of the video, "And they had to call in Endeavor to deal with him, but Ereasurehead was crucial to take down all the others- 'cuz they had Emitter Quirks that could make them go nyoom- and-"
At that point, Katsuki stopped listening. He'd already seen the videos and read the analysis articles. He didn't need fucking text-to-speech too.
Why did people always rely on their Quirks to not only save people, but for crime as well? If Katsuki actually had the motivation to become a Villain, what was a Hero going to do if he shot them with a Glock point-blank? Use their Quirk on him? Good fucking luck. And even for other Villains, what could a Hero do? Miraculously not die from a headshot?
"-and then- oh, look! Look! Look, Kacchan!" Izuku started bouncing in his seat as he pointed excitedly to figure in the video.
"It's All Might, Izuku," Katsuki squinted to try to get a better look at the hero in the grainy video. Izuku has a strange fascination with All Might. Sure, he did his job well, but is that really something to have three dozen plushies and vinyl figures for?
And besides, All Might was probably the weirdest hero of them all. Bulging muscles and a blazing smile, but his eyes were piercing blue and his face was deeply shadowed. Like arrows of flaming ice emerging from the darkness. Katsuki's only ever seen him in videos, promotional posters, and plushies, but even all that hero merch does nothing to quell the image of a gargantuan macho man with the power to level a city block with one finger.
"YEAH!" Izuku cried, "Isn't he the best?! How he says, 'I am here,' and totally saves the day! Huh?! Huh?!" Katsuki mustered up every last drop of feigned excitement he could.
"He's cool," Was all Katsuki said, "He's efficient, and he says some inspiring things." Izuku nodded firmly.
beep
beep
beep
The eggs were done.
"Oh? What's that, Kacchan?" Izuku looked over the back of the couch and into the kitchen, "What're you making?" Katsuki vaulted over the backrest of the sofa with ease.
"Baked eggs."
"Baked...?" Izuku echoed, trailing after Katsuki like a little duckling. Auntie Inko was sitting in the kitchen, reading a book.
"Oh, what did you make, Katsuki-kun?" Auntie Inko flashed a small smile.
"Just some baked eggs," Katsuki replied cooly, and remained mindful of his manners, "Do you want some?"
"Yes, please," Auntie Inko nodded, "And Izuku would like some as well, won't you, Izuku-kun?" Izuku nodded vigorously. Well, it's not like Katsuki can finish a dozen eggs by himself, nor does he want to. The high levels of cholesterol would send Mitsuki into a hissing fit once she heard.
Katsuki slipped on some oven mitts and pulled out the muffin tin. Steam curled up and off the eggs, looking like the traditional swirly scroll paintings. Auntie Inko brought out three bowls, halfway filled with the white rice Katsuki made earlier, and Katsuki evenly distributed the eggs into each bowl.
"Ittadakimasu!" Everyone chorused. Then they dug in.
"Wow!" Izuku said around his mouthful of food, "This is delicious, Kacchan! You're so good at cooking!"
Auntie Inko, bless her soul, swallowed her food before commenting, "It's excellent, Katsuki-kun. Is this your first time making it?" Katsuki was not a heathen like Izuku, so he also cleared his mouth before talking.
"Yeah, it's my first time," Katsuki nodded, "I think the secret's in the recipe and your ingredients, because it's pretty easy to make Auntie, so on your first try it should taste the same." Auntie Inko nodded thoughtfully. Katsuki should give her the recipe later.
"Well, what did you think of Eraserhead's new costume, Kacchan?" Izuku jumped in abruptly. Katsuki shrugged.
"Well, it's more practical," Katsuki paused to collect his thoughts, "And it'll make his job a hell of a lot easier." Izuku nodded thoughtfully. He looked like a carbon copy of his mother when he did that.
All in all, it wasn't the worst way the morning of Katsuki's 13th birthday could have gone.