Less than eight minutes later, I climbed aboard LeShip via the anchor chain.

"Hang in there!" I called out as I passed the yardarm.

"Still not funny." Apple Bob didn't even bother to look up - or actually, down - from the unending book he held.

I climbed the steps to the helm, and tried once again to pet Scruffles. She hissed at me as usual while I glanced upwards. "The crow's nest looks empty." It seemed Flambe hadn't returned.

I checked out belowdecks next. There wasn't anyone there either, not in the galley or in LeChuck's quarters. Even the ghost rat was gone.

At least the spectral chickens were still roosting in the hold though, so it wasn't totally a ghost ship. "No, wait, I take that back," I said aloud, as I gave them each a handful of ghost chicken feed out of habit. I left them comfortably clucking and fluffing their translucent feathers as I stumped back up to the deck.

I approached the suspended Bob, who was swaying gently with the swell of the ship. There were several things I wanted to know.

But before I forgot - "Elaine says hi."

"Oh, that's nice of her," Apple Bob said, still absorbed in the book. "Tell her that I look forward to catching up at the next annual Chum convention."

"So that's where she goes every year. I thought it was a fishing trip."

"It is."

"Makes sense." Message now delivered, I moved on to more important topics. "Have you seen LeChuck recently?"

"Not since we arrived here," he said.

Guess he was still searching the island. "What about everyone else?"

"Let's see." Bob started counting off on his finger bones. "Flambe's been gone since LeChuck has. Not too long ago, Iron Rose and Flair came back in the lifeboat, told me they're resigning, and set back out for some other islands. Putra decided to leave too now that she's got her chef certificate. On their way, they found Gullet and he shouted very loudly that he'd had enough and was deserting. Turns out he was stuck in the rudder this whole time. Can you believe it?"

I decided not to directly answer that question. "Too bad I missed him. I could've told him how my meeting with his potential publishing agent went."

"I don't want to know," said Bob.

"How about Madison and the other Pirate Leaders? Have you seen them?"

"Not since LeChuck left."

"Thanks," I said sincerely.

Bob turned another page. "No problem. I don't have much else to do."

I left him to the book and got ready to head back. I could just walk, of course. But I was getting a bit soggy and tired of it, and worried that my technically still new ceremonial knife would rust eventually, not to mention all the keys in my pockets. Also, it would be nice to find a way Elaine could come aboard without getting drenched too, in case we needed to return later.

With that in mind, I checked the ship sides where the landing boats were stored. Unfortunately, there were zero boats, only tons of ferocious crabs stuck in the rotting netting. "Yipes!" I jumped back before they could snap my fingers off.

It was time to make my own then. With the skills I'd picked up restoring the Sea Monkey II with Elaine earlier, I could easily make a raft out of the wooden cases lying around on deck; they still smelled faintly of Monkey Island-directions ingredients. I dragged them into a heap. "Step two, dismantling," I said aloud. Since I didn't have any saws or crowbars on me - and obviously it would have ruined my knife - I re-inflated the blowfish from my pocket to catch a particularly pugnacious crab, and used him instead. Then it was just a matter of putting the wood planks all back together as a raft and into the water. However, like most deceptively named DIY, those steps needed more than one person.

"Um, Apple Bob," I called. "Would you mind giving me a hand with this?"

"I wish I could, but I can't abandon my post," he said, still reading. "Sorry."

"Not even for a second?" I wheedled. "It's not like anyone's here to report you."

"Even so. I don't want to risk my job."

It seemed excessive to me, but I guess that sort of dedication is how he'd stayed on so long. I was pretty sure he'd been sailing with LeChuck since before he'd first taken up hunting me down. "Okay, but I would keep an eye on the demand forecast. Even the ghost cabin rat left, and you know what that means."

"Good point. I don't want to be stuck on a sinking ship." Apple Bob finally shut the book. "I might consider moving. This position doesn't have much variety or upward mobility - or in any direction, really."

"Good for you! It's important to know what you want out of a career," I said brightly.

"But I'd have to have a lead first. Even in the current market, they recommend to always line up your next position before handing in your resignation."

"But how can you get any leads if you're stuck up there all the time?" I asked curiously.

"That's why I've never moved jobs," Bob explained.

I couldn't argue with that watertight logic. "Well, I can give you a few options," I offered. "I'm sure they'd love your company loyalty and attention to detail."

"As long as it's not as a fashion designer. I can't keep up with what young people wear these days," Apple Bob said, glancing at my T-shirt-over-coat look.

"This is… more of a functional choice. But don't worry - no fashion." I started with an easy one. "How about being a fresh fish supplier? The three former pirate leaders just opened a fish shop. With your years of sailing experience, you'd be a shoe-in!"

"How did they open without fish?" Bob asked.

"Oh, they've got plenty. But no fresh fish."

Bob hummed thoughtfully. "Mm, no thanks. I've been thinking of more of a career change. At this time of post-life, I'm looking for something more grounded."

Close to the ground, huh? "What about construction? After that earthquake and all the pillaging you guys did, Melee has tons of open contracts."

"That does sound interesting," Bob admitted. "But I'd rather be involved with the numbers side of things."

"I didn't know you were into math."

"Sure. I was top of my class in algebra."

Great, now he tells me. It would have been handy to know that before the queen trials in Brrr Muda. "In that case, you should go for island accounting. Carla could use some help balancing the construction budget. Tell her I sent you."

"That sounds perfect." Bob's reaction raised my hopes. "But I'd need a certification to apply."

That lowered them. "You don't happen to have one, do you?"

"Back in the day, I audited some classes," Bob reminisced. "But then I got hooked on those pirating books on parrot, and I dropped out and jumped on a ship. Which happened to be LeChuck's, right before he instituted his forced afterlife policy."

"Company culture transitions can be tricky," I commiserated. "You said you'd go for the accounting job if you had a certification, right?"

"That's right."

I rummaged in my pockets, and found just the thing. I still had the professional certificate I'd been handed by Ned, Stan's former accountant; the Brrr Muda judge had returned it after submission in court. Stuck in the frame corner was a glossy portrait I'd snuck out from the Scumm Bar's kitchen, of the cook's uncle or nephew or something. When I considered that pretty much any headshot could work, considering Apple Bob's skeletal features, the solution was easy. I marked up the certificate with my trusty quill - 'Ned' is notoriously easy to forge into 'Bob', after all - and slipped the cook's uncle's nephew's picture into the frame next to it.

"One accounting certificate, coming right up." I presented it proudly.

"Wow, this is great," he enthused. "Okay, if you help me down from here, I'll give you a hand."

I climbed up the yardarm to saw on the ropes suspending him with my trusty live crab tool. Just as I cut through and Bob fell to the deck, I landed right next to him, along with the yardarm. It had broken off the yard under our combined weight; years at sea can do that to a ship. Still, you never knew when a weathered piece of timber may come in useful, so I picked it up and put it in my pocket. The crab, clearly done with adventures, scuttled away.

"Thanks!" Bob stood back up without a scratch. "Here you go: one helping hand."

He handed me his arm.

"That really isn't what I meant," I said awkwardly as it twitched in my grip.

"What, never carried a skeletal ghost pirate arm before?"

"One and half times was enough for me." I tried to hand it back.

"You can return it to me later," Bob said, striding towards the hatch. "I've got to hurry if I want to submit my resignation letter and make it to the governor's mansion before closing. Job postings like this don't stay open forever you know."

"If you say so. Want me to give you a lift on my way back?"

"I don't think so, thanks. Let me check the on the spare donuts first though."

"The spare what now?"

I followed Bob to a loose deck plank. He jostled it free to reveal la battered box labeled "DONUTS" with a sticker saying "1 doz. Best used by: EMERGENCIES ONLY". He opened it and removed the one item inside of its glaze-encrusted interior. "Yep, there's still one left." We watched silently as it self-inflated into a circular single-passenger dinghy.

Bob brushed off some stray sprinkles from its fried-golden rounded rim. "Should be good for making it back to land at least. They always say not to treat them as an actual replacement lifeboat."

I was torn between folding my arms and throwing them in the air. "And you didn't think to mention it earlier?"

"Why? Were you looking for one?"

"Never mind." It was too hard to read Bob's featureless expression to tell if he was serious or just messing with me. "Anyway, do you mind letting the ghost chickens loose? I'd hate for them to get forgotten down in the hold." They'd been good company during my time as a zombie swabbie.

"Yeah, no problem." Bob disappeared down the hatch, then reappeared just as quickly. "I almost forgot - I'd better return this to you. Thanks for letting me borrow it." He handed me The Endless Tale of the Voyage that Would Not End.

I thought about telling him he could give it to Carla himself when he applied, as a conversation opener. Fortunately, I realized in time that I'd better return it myself. Carla could really hold a grudge over lost books. "So, do you recommend it?"

"Hard to say. I've got mixed feelings, especially about the non-ending, but it has its good points. Overall, mostly positive."

With that complicated review, he went belowdecks as his disembodied arm waved goodbye.

I ignored Bob's inflatable donut and finished my own crate-raft in record time, though getting it in the water was tricky. In much less than eight minutes, I drifted onto shore. "Miss me?" I called out to my wife.

"Of course, but I managed." She helped me drag the raft far enough up the beach to not float away. "What a lovely job! It's so nice to see you putting that ship repair book to more use."

"Oh good, it is you!" I'd nearly forgotten to check.

"Had you wanted me to remind you about the twenty-third again?" Elaine laughed. "Did you find LeChuck?"

"No, he wasn't there. Only Apple Bob. He says hi back, by the way. I convinced him to change careers to accounting."

"I had no idea he was a CPA," Elaine said, sounding impressed.

"He has a framed certificate and everything." I glanced around. "Anything else happen while I was out?"

"Yes, actually." She lowered her voice and stepped closer. "I saw Captain Trent, far off. I think he was spying on us."

"Too bad I didn't think of using the looking glass on LeChuck's ship," I realized aloud. "Maybe I could've located both him and LeChuck." Or, maybe it would have just made it easier for Trent to keep tabs on me. "What happened?"

"There was another rumble from the volcano, then noise from the jungle like someone else was coming, so he ran off. I'm not sure, but I think it was Corina."

"Who?" Wait - "The voodoo lady!" That's right, she'd told me her name earlier. For something I'd wondered about for years, I sure forgot it easily. "So she must have come here when LeChuck trashed her shop. Too bad she didn't take care of Trent with her voodoo - though I guess that might not work, since those pirate leaders have that new-fangled 'dark magic'."

"Maybe," Elaine said. "Out of all the new pirate leaders, Trent seems a bit different."

"Yeah," I agreed. "He drops things way more often. I'm never sure what he's thinking."

"That's not exactly what I meant. Did you know he's been managing the buildings Madison took over?"

"No," I answered. "So he's a business guy? No wonder he's out of his depth in the field."

"Perhaps." Elaine looked like she was mulling something over.

"I guess it works out well for us," I concluded. "Either way, I'm glad you're okay."

"Now you know how I feel when you tear off helter-skelter on your adventures," Elaine said smirking. "I wasn't governor of a tri-island area full of pirates for nothing. So, are you ready to head back?"

I took her hand - the normal way, not the Apple Bob way. "Yeah, let's go."