Sat October, 29th 2022

1:48pm

I only ate half a bun with peanut butter. I had a cup of water with my morning med. I might have an eating disorder because of my trauma and bad negative thoughts. I've got a headache for almost two or three months sense I seen a traumatizing bicycle accident not eating or eating to much bingeing or not eating disorder.

Sun October, 30th 2022

10:59am

I feel sick trapped I'm starving myself all day today. My stomach hurts my head hurts, I'm so tired and moody even emotional! [213.6 pounds] I was at 215 pounds on Friday. Yesterday I didn't eat at all today but my amazing boyfriend told me to eat I got an ice cap with chocolate milk and a cilantro lime bowl grilled chicken and root beer with Josh at McDonald's. I have been losing my hair little bit at a time. I'm in early recovery. I'm trying to be happy now. NA Topic: Courage, Faith and Honesty. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!! I need to worry about myself then care for others after and not let others words bother me.

-walking away

-I've got choices

-better thought process

Thurs November, 3rd 2022

12:55pm

25 days clean and sober going to NA meeting tonight. Should I talk to a dietitian.

Sunday November 6th, 2022

I had a nightmare/flashback where me and Josh went to a bar together and we were both sober we danced and had a good time then Josh got his taxi then he said I can pay back all the money I owe that he spent on me then he says I never clean my ears even though I do in the shower because doctors say q-tips are bad for cleaning ears then after Josh took taxi home this random girl purposed to me and I said NO.

DAWN: It makes sense.. I not sure why you think think he is always going yo be upset.. he is easygoing and something like that doesn't bother him at all..

MARIA: Okay I guess I'm still not recovered from what my ex did to me I'm sad now because I know he's easygoing and stuff like that don't bother him.

1. Humility

2. Keep coming back

3. Step 1 to 3

November 7th, 2022

8:55pm

I need to remind little Maria I'm an adult and I can take care of myself I'm strong no one can hurt little Maria anymore. I can do it.

Maria's skills: deep breathing, Disney plus, journal, distraction, visit notre dame place, talk to family and friends, walk around town, go to Tim Hortons, dancing and listen to music.

Symptoms: I'd freak out and blurt things out without thinking.