Aaand here it is! The conclusion to the strange occasion that was a Shiranui-Bogard-Ryan-Howard-Levasseur Thanksgiving!
Onward~!
King, Mary, and Mai cleared the table in silence, washed the dishes in silence, and loaded the dishwasher in silence. Once the kitchen and dining areas were clean, the three women moved to the living room and seated themselves on the sofa, loveseat, and floor respectively. Mai leaned over to grab the device that controlled her music player from a side table, then powered the unit on. The music — if it could be called that — blared through the speakers at an insane volume until the kunoichi hastily turned it down to a more acceptable level.
"What the hell is this?" Mary prodded, her eyebrows raised.
"Dark Tranquility. I can recommend some songs if you ever get tired of your hair rock."
"I think I'll pass."
Mai shook her head and then turned to look up at King, who was sitting with her lips pressed together tightly. The bartender let her mind wander a little bit (she had to admit the guitars on the song were pretty impressive, but did the vocalist of this band need throat drops after his performances?) before finally letting out a deep sigh as her thoughts abruptly shifted back to the fact that she had somehow managed to ruin Thanksgiving. Again.
"I'm really, really sorry," she began. "I completely fucked up your —"
"Shhhh," Mai interrupted. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Kingy. That situation with Andy and I would have come to a head no matter what. If not today, then soon. You just kinda… helped it along quicker."
King groaned as she threw herself back against the sofa and covered her face with her hands.
"Bb," Mary spoke up. "Bb, listen. The boys had been acting weird for a minute, and, really, is it even that surprising that they found out about what they did? Which, when you think about it, really wasn't much."
"...no," King grumbled as she raked her hands through her hair. "But —!"
"But they still don't know about the actual attack," Mai reasoned.
"And they don't know about Yamazaki, either," Mary added.
"We absolutely have to keep it that way," King necessitated. "Because if they find out about him, and his involvement, then…"
"Then, yeah — it's game over. Terry will dump my ass, and… I have no idea what Andy would do."
"Nothing, because Mai wasn't involved in that."
"Well, no," the kunoichi stated thoughtfully, "but I'm… what is it called? An accessory? I know about it, and that's more than enough for him to get all self-righteous on me."
There was a pause as King pressed her lips in a thin line again, her feelings threatening to overwhelm her. She stared off at the black screen of the television, and the reflection that was just barely visible. All at once disgusted, she abruptly looked away.
"None of this should have happened," she lamented. "But — as usual — here I am, ruining everyone's day and interpersonal relationships. Je suis un putain de jinx."
"Oh, bb, you're not a jinx," Mary assured. "I mean… not entirely, anyway."
"Girl!" Mai exclaimed while King made a miserable sound.
"She knows I'm joking."
"I do," King confirmed. "And I appreciate the attempt to lighten the mood, but… I don't know. Is any of this even worth it?"
"Is any of what worth what?" Mary prodded.
"This! This," King exclaimed while throwing her hands up. "You two alienating Terry and Andy! Yuri alienating her family! I should have just pushed you guys away and dealt with it on my own without sucking you in! Mais non! I couldn't just swallow my fucking pride and admit that what happened to me happened! I swore you guys to secrecy and look where it's gotten us all!"
"Come on, Kingy! We would have kept it a secret even if you hadn't made us promise!"
"Yeah, I mean, it's not like we'd go around telling everyone about it," Mary added. "Like, do you really think I would have gone home that night like, 'Hey, babe, you'll never guess what happened at work'? No! Of course not! You know me better than that!"
King let out a deep sigh as she flopped down sideways on the couch.
"I know. I'm just being stupid. Ignore me."
"Look," the detective reasoned. "Boys are dumb."
"Our boys especially," Mai chimed in.
"But you love them anyway and my personal traumas and experiences shouldn't affect your relationships, but here we are."
Mai leaned forward and put a hand on King's leg.
"Hey, Andy and I worked it out. He's a bit tone deaf and stubborn, but once I explained —"
"You mean told him no more sex," Mary snickered.
" — that he was being unreasonable and weird, he understood. And he dropped it and apologized. And, yes, I might have told him that certain activities would be off-limits until he shaped up."
"But it's a situation you guys would never have been in had it not been for me," King replied. "Not to mention that Terry is still pissed…"
"He'll get over it," Mary said with a dismissive wave of her hand.
"But —"
"Look, the guy is a big teddy bear. He's gonna decompress at Richie's, come back with a new understanding of the situation, and then we'll have hot make up sex and it'll be done."
"I feel like you two are missing the poi — OW!"
King cried out as she was suddenly whacked in the shin with one of Mai's folding fans.
"You're the one missing the point, Kingy!"
"We are okay," Mary asserted. "Yeah, we might have hit a speed bump or two, but we're your friends, and we have your back no matter what, and if that means that the boys are gonna get all butthurt over not knowing every single detail of every single thing we do, then so be it!"
"Sisters before misters," Mai yelled while raising her fan in the air.
"God, you're so much better about your relationship when you're medicated," the cop laughed. "Please don't ever stop taking that stuff."
At that, King couldn't help chuckling, as it was completely true: Unmedicated Mai Shiranui had some very unhealthy tendencies toward one Andy Bogard. Medication was magic. As was friendship… or something like that.
"Oh shit —" Mary pointed at King — "we have a smile, folks. I repeat, we have a smile."
"Shut up, I'm trying to brood."
"Well… do you wanna brood with some pie?" Mai questioned.
The bartender furrowed her brow as she thought much too hard about the simple question. Eat baked goods in the company of two extraordinary women with infinite patience who truly loved her, or go home — sans baked goods — and brood some more about a sticky situation that she couldn't see a way out of?
"C'mon, bb," the detective entreated as she rose from her spot on the loveseat. "It'll make you feel better."
"She's right, girl," Mai added. "It will. And sit down, Mary — I'll bring it out."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. So, am I grabbing a piece for each of us?"
King slowly sat upright. Year after year, it was always her who brought the dessert on Thanksgiving, and year after year she never got to eat any of the damn things. And while this time around still involved the usual bullshit that tended to come with her holiday, it also involved her friends showing that they — once again — had her back no matter what. So with that in mind, she looked at Mary, and then at Mai, who was watching her expectantly.
"You know what? I would love some pie."
Alright!
Those three, amirite?
* Self-explanatory, but Dark Tranquility is a metal band. Remember, Mai (canonically even!) loves metal music.
* Mary's canonical taste in music lists "ballads" but I look at her and I feel like the Peacemaker soundtrack makes up her entire music taste
* Yamazaki's involvement: In Karma Police, the gunman is paroled and decides to terrorize King a little bit, so Mary does what a good bestie who can't directly get involved in the situation does: sics her former teammate, who happens to be a tad into torture, on him
* Je suis un putain de jinx: I am a fucking jinx
* Richie. Richard Meyer, the owner of the Pao Pao Cafe
* Mai has bipolar disorder
* King's final line about loving some pie is a kindasorta callback to Thanksgiving Blues, in which her and Mary troll the living shit out of her aunt and uncle. During said trolling, Mary utters the line "I'd love some pie."
Okay, party people! Thank you for sticking with this! Hopefully you enjoyed it on some level!
Cheers!