Notes: I feel like we really missed out on a great friendship between Jay and Vanessa on screen, so I hope this little does them justice.
This is set between season seven and season eight!
For Lucy, thank you for supplying me with the best ideas, I really hope I did this justice for you 3
Also, this has not been beta read but I've edited to the best of my abilities but if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes I do apologise!
home·sick
[ˈhəʊmsɪk]
ADJECTIVE
experiencing a longing for one's home during a period of absence from it:
"he was homesick for America after five weeks in Europe"
But for Jay and Vanessa their home was never really a place it was a person, Hailey was that person for both of them in different ways, so how would they cope when that's been stripped away from them?
Everything was weird, nothing felt right, nothing felt right without Hailey. Jay was sulky and moody and most probably taking on ten times more paperwork than humanly possible to avoid all and any human contact at all times.
Vanessa, see she was better at hiding it than Jay, but she was down too. Just when she had finally gotten a stable home, a stable person in her life, they upped and left. Not that Haileys leaving was any choice of her own and it wasn't like she was gone forever but it still sucked.
Both of them were kinda lost without their best friend being around, kinda just getting through the day so that they would be one day closer to their girl getting home.
It wasn't missed by Jay or by anyone in the unit in fact how close Vanessa and Hailey had gotten in the short amount of time that they had known each other. They had become like the sister each of them never had to each other. Vanessa had become like all of the unit's little sister (well except for Kevin, but that, that was a story for another time). Everyone had taken Vanessa under their wing of course, as they would anyone, but with Vanessa and Hailey it was different.
Hailey had the gut instincts to just protect Vanessa and Vanessa had the gut instincts to just trust her, and now here they were, roommates and best friends, well more like sisters at this point. Neither of them really had good solid friendships with other women, so this, this was different for them but a good different and it was something that each of them cherished dearly.
Now with Jay and Hailey, they were best friends too of course but this was completely different to Vanessa and Haileys friendship. See the pair we're actually madly in love with each other but of course they're both too blind to see that the other feels the same way so now they're kinda just stuck in an endless loop of pining and making up any random excuses to do their thing when in reality they just wanted to see each other and be around each other.
Hailey didn't really know how to describe it but all she knew was that she was better with him, better with him as her partner and Jay wasn't sure what he would say to describe whatever it was they were either, but he also knew he was better with her around and her being there to keep him anchored.
They kept each other grounded. That was their thing , they stay with each other even if they say they don't wanna be around people and they talk about the stuff they don't really wanna talk about anyway with each other, it was always with each other, they always had each other.
Well up until now anyways, and Hailey was almost eight hundred miles away from him.
Hailey was almost eight hundred miles away from him and he didn't know what to do with himself.
Vanessa was also kinda lost, not as much as Jay but she also didn't know what to do with herself, she couldn't really confide in anyone else, yeah, she had Kev, but she couldn't really tell him the same things that she told Hailey sometimes, their bond was different.
Hailey was her person, the person who she could tell anything to, free of judgement, the person who would protect her no matter what the cost. And now that cost was her best friend being almost eight hundred miles away.
Vanessa and the rest of the unit had all noticed how much the lack of Haileys presence affected Jay for the worse, they all knew that the partners had a close and strong bond but none of them realised the extent of that bond until Hailey almost lost Jay and now that Jay was without Hailey.
Jay had noticed how Vanessa was coming into work a little bit later now and would walk around a little less slow than usual. He noticed how she would take longer to do her regular paperwork and how she would start leaving as late as he did, sometimes even later. She was a little less her usual bubbly self too. So, he looked out for her more while Hailey was gone, not that she asked him too, but he figured he owed it to her at least to look after the younger woman Hailey had grown to care about very quickly.
It wasn't missed on Vanessa that Jay checked up on her more when they were in the field and that he was taking some of her paperwork load but she didn't mention it, however Adam did, well he only noticed the paperwork thing anyway and so the Jay took some of Adams to make it 'fair' but that only meant that jay stayed later, just like he wanted to anyways, it's not like he had anywhere else to be.
It was ten thirty pm, on day four of Hailey being gone and everyone had pretty much cleared out and gone home, leaving Jay and Vanessa at their respective desks.
"Hey, you still grumpy?" Vanessa spoke up from her seat.
"Oh, don't you start too, I've had enough from Ruze" Jay looked over at her with a small smile on his face.
"I kid, I promise" vanessa held her hands up and Jay just shook his head and went back to his paperwork.
"Shouldn't you be out of here by now?" he questioned not looking up from what he was writing.
"Probably" she sighed.
"So go home, I'll finish up here"
"But you already took half of my papers" Vanessa scrunched up her eyebrows and sighed again.
"I don't mind"
"Its fine, I'll be finished soon anyways, but thank you for offering and thank you for taking some already"
"You sure?"
"Positive"
"Copy you"
One week down, three more to go.
—-
At the end of the first week of Hailey being gone, Jay was the sulkiest they had ever seen him which made way for an abundance of teasing from the whole unit and when I say whole unit I mean a couple of quips from Kim, Kev, Vanessa and Trudy here and there and Adam never missing a moment to point out sulky Jay was without Hailey.
"I'm a trained observer" Adam told the rest of them while Jay resided in the breakroom making up a new jug of coffee because someone (a certain Adam Ruzek) had left the coffee jug empty again "Hes's sulky because he loves her, and he misses her"
"Doesn't mean you need to be on his case about him being sulky twenty-four seven Adam" Kim pointed out.
"It's all in good jest darlin' all in jest"
"I'm gonna check on him" Vanessa told the group, who were all surrounding Kim and Adams desks and made her way into the breakroom to find Jay, with his back to her staring at the almost ready coffee pot, she figured he had just zoned out.
"Hey" she said softly not wanting to startle him but failed.
"Hey uh sorry I didn't hear you come in" he told her.
"It's okay"
"You want coffee?"
"Yeah, please" she said while joining him leaning her back against the counter.
"It's almost ready" he said handing her an empty mug from the cupboard.
"Thanks" she took it with a smile and placed it next to her, next to the one he had already put out for himself, Haileys mug , he was using Haileys mug. He looked at her shyly when he realised that she noticed that he had gotten Haileys mug out for himself, but she didn't say anything about it, she knew he missed her, she missed her too.
"Are you okay?" she asked gently not wanting to overstep.
Jay sighed, he knew he hadn't been acting okay, being sulky, and short with the others in his team at times, he didn't mean it, he was sad and kind of lonely really and he missed his best friend, he missed doing their thing, he missed her keeping him anchored.
"Yeah, yeah I'm okay, I just miss her, you know?" he gave Vanessa a half smile as he poured coffee into the two mugs on the counter.
"I know, I miss her too" Vanessa gave him a sad smile "I don't wanna overstep but I know Hailey cares about you a lot and I wouldn't be a proper friend to her if I didn't say this so if you ever wanna talk, I'm here, and so is everyone out there" Vanessa gestured to Kim, Adam and Kevin getting half yelled at to finish up their paperwork by Trudy.
"You're not overstepping, this team is family and family looks out for each other" he told her "Thank you, for checking in on me, I know I haven't been the best person to be around lately"
"We all understand"
"It's still not an excuse though, is it?"
"She'll be back in just under three weeks, it'll be okay"
"How are you?" Jay changed the subject not really up to talking about himself right now, but he still wanted to check in with Vanessa as he had noticed she was a little off without Hailey being around as well "you've been acting differently too you know?"
"Do you know me well enough to know if I've changed or not?"
"I notice things even if you don't think i do"
"Hm" she hummed.
"This goes both ways, you know? If I'm gonna talk to you, you've gotta talk to me too, I'm here for you too"
"Yeah?"
"Of course, Hailey cares about you so that means I care about you too, and your part of my team, I'm always here Vanessa"
"Thank you"
"So, you wanna talk?" he asked.
"Do you wanna talk?" she returned.
"Not right now, but some company would be nice" he told her while picking up his (Haileys) mug before taking a sip.
"Company would be better if he wasn't so sulky" Vanessa giggled.
"Come on now" Jay shook his head and laughed before bumping her shoulder with his, "Drink your coffee and shush, that's an order" he said with a stern voice, but his face was filled with amusement. Vanessa picked up the mug and sipped on her coffee, wondering why she didn't grab a mug full earlier. The pair stayed there, in silence, drinking their coffee, for however long it took them to finish their coffee, both grateful for this newfound level of their friendship.
They had finally made it to the halfway point. Hailey had been gone for two weeks and they had two weeks till she came back. Jay and Vanessa had been silently checking up on each other a bit more, Jay glancing over at her and Vanessa glancing over at him. They had developed some sort of silent communication, not that it was as good as Hailey and Jay's silent communication, but they had an unwritten agreement to just check up on each other.
Once again it was just Jay and Vanessa left alone in the bullpen. The case had been hard, their suspect had ended up murdering the hostage he grabbed while jay was trying to talk him down. Everyone had told Jay not to blame himself and he told them he didn't, but Vanessa could tell he did. He was slumped over his desk, periodically checking his phone, either to see if internal affairs had picked up on what happened or to see if Hailey had replied.
Texting Hailey had been a hardship lately for both of them, she was elbow deep in a busy FBI case with takes precedence over texting people back, and Jay and Vanessa understood this of course but Jay was struggling without being about to do their thing even if it had to be over text because Hailey currently don't have any time to facetime.
But now they couldn't even really do their thing over text, Jay wasn't mad at Hailey at all, just sad, he missed her, and he needed her back.
He was so proud of her and everything she was achieving over there, taking part in solving huge FBI cases was a huge deal, so maybe he didn't mind that they couldn't do their thing, she was out there doing her own amazing thing. But he was still miserable without her. So, Vanessa decided she was going to do something about it.
She had finished all of her paperwork and helped Jay clear the evidence boards before he went back to typing up something on his computer but instead of making her way out, Vanessa decided to make herself comfortable leaning on the side of his desk, well Haileys desk.
He hadn't really paid much attention to what his younger co-worker was doing at the desk until she spoke up.
"Two more weeks"
"Huh"
"Until she's back"
"Yeah" he mumbles looking up at her for a second but he's really not paying any attention to Vanessa, his eyes keep glancing back to his phone, looking for any new notifications.
"Come over tonight, I'm no Hailey but i know how to share some takeout and drinks"
"What?"
"You heard me, I like the stir fry from Flat Top on Wabash Avenue, bring it when you come over" she told him and walked off leaving him in the bullpen alone.
It was now nearing ten pm and Vanessa still hadn't eaten. She left Jay in the bullpen almost an hour ago with the hopes that he would show up, but her hope was beginning to falter. She sighed, pausing the show she was watching and picked up her phone that was beside her on the couch, opening up a food delivery app and scrolling through. She was just about to hit order when there was a knock on the door.
She looked through the peephole with caution as she figured Jay wasn't coming, so who else could be at her door, only to find Jay standing outside, food in one hand, six pack in the other.
She opened the door to him, and he smiled sheepishly "sorry I took so long, they took forever to get the food ready, it was busy"
"I didn't think you would show up" she said as she stood aside and let him come through the door.
"I contemplated for a while" he said truthfully as Vanessa locked the door behind him.
"I'm offended" she joked while they walked into the kitchen "but you brought food and beer, so I guess I'll have to forgive you"
"Good because if you didn't, I might just have to take all this food home with me"
"Then you would be sulky on you own and that's no fun" she joked as she took two plates out of the cupboard and placed one in front of Jay, who was now sitting at their island and one in front of the seat next to him, where she would sit.
"Your hilarious" Jay rolled his eyes but was smiling, while he opened the plastic bag that held all of their food and laid out all the containers, placing Vanessa's food in front of her while she brought over the bottle opener and opened the beers.
They sat, eating in silence for about ten minutes before Vanessa spoke up "what happened wants your fault you know? I know we've all told you a million times tonight but i don't think you're hearing us"
"I hear you; I do, I-I just don't believe it" he sighed taking a big gulp of his beer
"Hailey would tell you the same thing"
"If she had the time, I've not heard anything from her in like five hours"
"She will tell you the same thing, when she has time" vanessa gave him a half smile "look I know it's not us you wanna hear it from, I know you wanna hear it from her and you will, soon enough she'll be back and everything will be okay, I know this..." she gestured between them,
"Probably isn't what you want right now either but that's tough I guess, because yeah it sucks that your person isn't here right now but you can't shut us all out Jay, it's not healthy, especially when Hailey isn't here because I know that means you're not really talking about anything or processing anything because you do that with her, so especially now, talk to me, or to Kev or Adam or Kim or hell even go talk to Trudy, but talk to someone, please" she took a breath as she finished and bit on the inside of her cheek after she realised she had just chewed out the most superior officer on the team after Voight.
He looked at her, she could tell he was thinking but that was all she could gather, she couldn't tell if he was mad, angry, sad or anything. She scanned his face for any sign of what he could be thinking but couldn't get a read on him.
Jay let out a breath he didn't know he was holding "wow, um, I need to hear that, thank you"
"You're not mad?"
"No? Of course not, why would I be mad?"
"I kinda just laid out all your shit and um well, we haven't known each other that long and obviously you're my superior officer so it's kinda…"
"You're also my friend Vanessa" He said softly "and sometimes we need our friends to be a little bit harsh with us because then we hear what we need to hear, so thank you"
"You're welcome, I guess?" Jay laughed at this.
"Just one thing though"
"If I ever talk to you like that again I won't have a job?" she questioned half joking.
"No" he shook his head with a laugh "you've gotta talk to me too, no ifs or buts, I talk to you, you talk to me, deal?"
"We already made this deal"
"And yet here we are both with bottled up emotions having not said a word to each other since"
"Okay deal" Vanessa held out her hand for him to shake and he shook it but not before laughing at the noise her stomach made
"Eat some more and then we can talk, yeah?"
"Mhmm" Vanessa agreed with her mouth full of stir fry already
After they had finished eating Jay uncapped another beer for each of them and handed one to Vanessa, they were still sat at the island, containers still spread across the countertop and dirty plates just pushed to the side, the mess could be dealt with later.
"Talk to me" Jay said after a sip of beer "you've been better at hiding it from everyone than me but you're down too"
"How can you tell?"
"Because you're not practically floating through the bullpen like you usually do" he told the younger girl sitting next to him.
"Floating?"
"You're bubbly, usually, you're damn good at your job don't get me wrong but it's different with you, maybe because you're the youngest and newest I don't know, you're just different, but in a good way, Hailey talks about it a lot, how you bring something different in, something new, she likes it"
"Hmm" Vanessa took in everything that he said.
"And I know you miss Hailey too and I think that's part of it, but I think there's something else too?" he questioned.
"I feel like it's my fault, she did what she did because of me, for me and now she's what eight hundred miles away and I miss her, and you miss her and now your sad and I feel like I messed a lot of things up"
"Hey no, Hailey did what she did because she cares about you, and when she cares about people she cares about them so deeply she will do anything for them, she knew the consequences and she still did it anyway because she cares about you and she loves you, what she did might not have been ethical or whatever but she did it for a good reason and it's because the system is messed up sometimes, but you didn't mess anything and neither did she, you got caught up in a bad situation and so did she and then so did I, I guess. It's a very shitty situation and it sucks but it's not anyone's fault other than the stupid system, okay?"
"Okay" vanessa sniffled "I'm grateful that she helped, I am, I just hate that she got sent to New York for it"
"I hate that she's gone too, but we survived two weeks already, so we can survive another two weeks"
"Yeah, I think we can'' Vanessa gulped down her beer "um your turn? I don't really know how this whole thing works"
"You got anything more you want to talk about?"
"I just miss her, and I feel like it's my fault, I know it's not, but it still feels that way, I just haven't had anything this stable in a very long time and I don't want to lose it"
"I get it, but Haileys not going anywhere, I'm not going anywhere, and the rest of the unit isn't either" he told her "Especially Kev" this made Vanessa choke on her beer.
"W-what about Kev?"
"I'm not blind Vanessa"
"W-were not together"
"But I've seen the way you look at each other"
"It's not like that" she rushed out.
"Hmm okay whatever you say, but I haven't seen him this happy in a long time, just saying" Jay smirked knowing her had caught her off guard.
"Yeah, well I see the way you and Hailey look at each other, just saying" now it was Jay's turn to splutter all over his drink which made Vanessa giggle.
"She's my partner and my best friend"
"Don't bullshit me"
"Seriously, we're not together"
"Hmm okay"
"Were really not, you think Hailey wouldn't tell you if we hypothetically were?"
"Okay true, but that doesn't mean that you're not head over heels in love with her"
"And you got this information from where?"
"I'm observant"
"Observant huh?"
"Mhmm, I see things"
"So, you have no solid proof of me apparently being head over heels in love with Hailey"
"Well, you being this sulky for one"
"Oh my god V" he laughed "I miss my best friend"
Jay had never called her V before, that was more of Hailey's thing which caused Vanessa to scrunch up her eyebrows, but she didn't question it out loud "I know you miss her, I'm just saying" she said before sipping on her beer "she's head over heels in love with you too by the way"
"S-she's what?"
"Like I said, I'm observant"
"So, she hasn't said to you that she's in love with me?"
"No but…"
"So, this is all circumstantial evidence" he joked.
"I guess right now it is"
"Hmm okay" Jay shook his head at the younger girl trying to play matchmaker but smiled as he sipped his beer. The pair ended up talking to about three in the morning, Jay spilled all his feeling about their latest case to her, he hadn't done this with anyone but Hailey in a long time, he missed Hailey sure, but it was kind of refreshing to have someone else, another friend he could speak to with no fear of being judged. For the rest of their conversation that led to them staying up that late, there were no topics, just random conversation, that they both had really needed, yeah, they weren't as good as Hailey had been for each of them, but it was still nice to know that they had someone else there for them as well.
"Are you picking Hailey up tomorrow?" Jay looked up at Vanessa who was standing by his desk.
"Yeah, I am, why?"
"Just checking"
"Did you wanna come?"
"No, it's okay, I'll let you two have your time together" Vanessa said a little quieter so that only Jay would hear and raised her eyebrows at him and smirked. Jay just shook his head and smiled at the younger girl's antics.
"Hailey's home tomorrow?" Kevin asked from his desk, which made both Adam and Kim also look up from what they were doing.
"Yeah, I'm picking her up from the airport tomorrow" Jay told them.
"So that's why you're not as sulky today then" Adam spoke up earning a light slap on his shoulder from Kim who was next to where he was sat, both of them looking at something on his computer.
"When is she back to work?" Kim asked.
"Couple days after she gets back, I think. I'm not too sure"
"Well, whenever she's back I cannot wait to tell her what a pain in the ass sulky Jay has been"
"Adam" Kim hushed him, and Jay laughed.
"Vanessa's been so kind as to keep Hailey updated don't worry" Jay informed the rest of the unit.
"She thinks I'm joking, you know" Vanessa laughed "thinks I'm overselling it or whatever" she continued which caused everyone to laugh.
"What are we all nattering about?" Everyone's head turned to see Trudy at the top of the stairs.
"Haileys back in Chicago tomorrow" Kevin told her.
"Ah Goldilocks is back tomorrow, is she? The feds didn't keep her? Fancy suits can be good at persuading" Trudy spoke to no one in particular as she walked through the bullpen.
"Hailey doesn't like nice suits, I told you this"
"Hmm that you did Chuckles, that you did" Trudy said, small smirk on her face like she knew something no one else did, while walking past him and going into Voights office to drop off some paperwork.
"Goldilocks and Chuckles" Vanessa smiled to herself; everyone had gone back to their work so only Jay was paying to attention her "It's cute"
"Call me Chuckles and maybe you will be out of a job" he quipped recalling her slight worries after putting him in his place when they had dinner a couple weeks back.
"Yeah yeah, whatever you say" Vanessa smiled and went back to her desk.
Jay waited nervously inside the airport; he was gonna wait outside in the truck, but he got there about thirty minutes before Haileys plane was scheduled to land. He has woken up at his usual time of six am, his internal body clock not letting him sleep in any later, even though he had taken the day off work to pick up Hailey and spend the day with her.
After wandering around the airport for what felt like years Jay felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket, he was met with a text from Hailey, letting him know she had landed and was on her way to get her luggage and would be out soon. When they had talked about him picking her up, they didn't talk about him meeting her inside so Hailey just assumed that he would wait outside with the truck.
Jay had made the decision that he didn't want to spend his entire time waiting outside, seeing as he got there early as well, so he wandered and then wandered some more. That was until he got the text from Hailey, he made a beeline for her terminal, which thankfully she had told him before so he didn't have to ask where she was going to exit and then he could surprise her. She wasn't really one for surprises, but he couldn't wait to see her and not to be too sure of himself, but he was pretty sure she couldn't wait to see him either.
He shot her back a quick text to let her know that he was waiting for her, while on his way to the terminal. When he got there, he noticed a couple other people standing around, waiting, just like him. He leant up against a wall, where he had full view of the exit of the terminal, waiting to see if he could see Hailey.
He didn't wait long, only about five minutes before people began to walk out through the terminal, he spotted a couple of blondes but none of them were his blonde, much to his dismay. He watched a couple of people reunite with the people who were waiting for them while others just walked straight past them all and into the airport.
He spotted Hailey before she spotted him, pulling her suitcase next to her, backpack settled on top of it, her hair was down on messy waves like it had just been pulled from a bun, she was wearing joggers and a t shirt, a sight that was very rare when Hailey was outside and not in the comfort of her own home (or his when they had had drinks and she had crashed for the night because she didn't want to drive), but she chose comfort for her flight. He moved from the wall and walked closer to the exit so that she would see him, he stood, stupid schoolboy grin on his face, waiting.
Hailey sighed as she dragged her luggage through the terminal, having to sit in front of a screaming toddler that wouldn't stop kicking her chair made her flight one of the worst flights she had ever had. She wanted to try and sleep on the flight but the toddler behind her had interrupted her plans. She just wanted to see Jay now, maybe do their thing, she didn't care she just wanted to see him. She was about to pull out her phone to ask him which exit she should meet him at when her baby blues met his green.
Her grin now matched his as she picked up her pace and made her way over to him. She didn't even say hello, she just let go of her luggage and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, taking in him, his scent, everything. His arms automatically went around her waist, lifting her off the floor slightly as they hugged.
"Hi" he whispered into her hair before he put her down.
"Hi" she smiled up at him feet now back on the floor, cheeks tinted pink and feeling giddy like she was a teenager who was speaking to her crush for the first time.
His cheeks were tinted in a blush that matched hers, both of them knowing that was probably the closest they had ever been physically, they had always touched each other's arms, a small pat or a slight squeeze, to show that they were there for the other, but never a hug. They knew some of the darkest things about each other, had been in each other's safe spaces, been there for each other when they didn't have anyone else to lean on, but they had never hugged.
"How um how was your flight?" Jay stumbled over his words not quite knowing what to say.
"Ugh" was all he got in reply.
"That bad huh?"
"The worst"
"Let's get you home then" Jay reached for her luggage, and she stopped him.
"You're already picking me up, you don't have to take my suitcase too"
"But I want to"
"But-"
"No buts, I'm taking it, let's get you home now, come on" he pulled her suitcase behind him, and they walked through the airport in a comfortable silence just happy to be in each other's presence again, not through facetime and not through text, they had finally made it through the four weeks of being eight hundred miles apart.
"You know" Hailey said after taking a bite of deep dish they had ordered to her place "Vanessa kept telling me how sulky you were while I was gone"
"Oh, did she now?"
"Mhmm, she was probably being slightly over dramatic in her retellings of things, but did you really miss me that much?"
"It was weird not having you around and I kinda got in my head a little bit because I didn't really have anyone to talk to because you were so busy, not that I'm blaming you or anything but I don't really talk to anyone the way I talk with you so it sucked for a bit but Vanessa basically told me I needed to get my head out of my ass and talk to someone, reminded me of someone else I know"
"Oh yeah?" Hailey smiled remembering when she convinced Jay to go to therapy.
"Yeah" Jay gave her a small smile "But she was definitely exaggerating" He defended "And she was sulky too, you know?"
"Stop trying to take the focus off you"
"But she was!"
"Mhmmm whatever you say"
"Maybe not as much as me but you not being here affected her more than you think"
"Really?" Haileys demeanour changed, now slightly concerned about her younger roommate who was currently still at work.
"Yeah, I had her back though, and she had mine, forced me to pick up take out and come talk, did our own little version of the thing" Jay explained.
"Okay now I'm kind of jealous" Hailey joked "but I am glad you had each other"
"It's not the same as having you but it worked, and she seems more comfortable and settled now"
"I'm glad, the stability is good for her and having more friends is good for her as well, I know her and Kev are getting closer and its good she has you too"
"Yeah, her and Kev are a bit more than friends, but you didn't hear that from me" this caused Hailey to choke on her beer which made Jay laugh, a deep belly laugh that he hadn't done in a while.
"They're sleeping together?" Hailey raised her eyebrows at Jay in shock.
"I don't know all the gory details but they're definitely not just friends"
"And how do you know this?"
"The way they've been acting around each other and the way she reacted when I mentioned Kev to her"
"So you two were having girl talk hmm"
"I think you'll find it was just talk, between friends because someone abandoned us and left us all alone"
"You think you're hilarious, don't you?"
"I know I am" Jay laughed along with Hailey, they were both grateful even after time apart that it was so easy to fall back into their usual conversations and banter, it was like no time had passed at all.
"Sooo, what else did you girls talk about?" Hailey teased.
"Private conversations" Jay smirked at her.
"Private my ass, you just told me Kev and V are fucking"
"I alluded to it, I did not confirm nor deny a thing and besides I never actually told you anything that she said to me so ha"
"You're so annoying"
"But you love me"
"You keep thinking that"
"I will because I'm right"
"Whatever"
Their banter and bickering (with love of course) didn't let up for the rest of the meal and well for the rest of the night, which was how Vanessa found them when she got home from work, on the couch bickering and bantering about something like they usually do. Vanessa smiled to herself, happy to see this sight again, she had really missed it.
"Hey" the pair turned to see Vanessa standing in the doorway, a grin on her face. Hailey jumped up and ran over to her pulling her into a tight hug, Vanessa gladly complying. Jay couldn't help but to smile at their reunion, seeing the way Hailey jumped up with excitement the second she saw vanessa made him happy, Hailey's happiness made him happy.
"Missed you" Hailey told the shorter girl while still holding on to her.
"I missed you too" Jay had never seen Vanessa smile this big, he was glad they both had their person back.
"We were about to watch a movie you wanna join?" Hailey offered.
"I think I'm gonna head to bed, long day, but thank you" Vanessa declined.
"There's some pizza left in the box for you if you want it" Jay finally spoke as he didn't want to interrupt their moment before.
"I'll take it upstairs, you two enjoy your movie, that is if you can ever decide on one"
"My choice. We are watching my choice" Hailey told them.
"What?! When did I agree on that?"
"My house my rules" Vanessa giggled at their usual banter before grabbing the pizza box and making her way upstairs, she and Hailey could catch up all day tomorrow, Hailey could have her time with Jay tonight and she wasn't exactly lying, the day had been long, and she did want to sleep.
After showering and getting changed Vanessa fell asleep to the sounds of Hailey and Jay laughing at whatever comedy they were watching. The last thing she heard before falling asleep was Hailey telling Jay "See my choices are always better"
"Good morning" Hailey rounded the corner to the kitchen to find Vanessa sitting at the island eating a bowl of cereal.
Vanessa yawned before replying in a mumble "good morning" it was obvious she was still half asleep, not really being a morning person.
"You working today?"
"Nope, case finished yesterday" Vanessa told her before eating another spoonful of cereal.
Hailey nodded with a hum and turned to the cabinet that held their mugs "You want coffee?"
"Mhmm, yes, please" Hailey could tell that Vanessa had answered with her mouth full of cereal so she was kind of glad she had her back turned to her as she grabbed two mugs out of the cabinet, placing Vanessa's one under the machine first, figuring her tired roommate could do with her coffee first.
They spent the rest of the day in each other's company, catching up amongst doing other things, Hailey labelled it a girls day much to Vanessa's excitement.
"I've never had this before" Vanessa spoke up as she was helping Hailey apply a face mask, after they had already done hers.
"Done what?" Hailey tried not to raise her eyebrows too much because Vanessa had already complained she had moved her face too much while she was applying the mask but Hailey couldn't help it, it was cold.
"Stop moving" Vanessa told her once more "uh this, a girls day i guess, you know I've never really had any of this, any stability really" Hailey's heart hurt for the girl she had come to regard as like a sister to her but she was glad she was able to give vanessa some stability and do things with her that she had never done before.
"Okay well this isn't a proper girls day, this is putting on face masks and drinking wine at one in the afternoon, we're going to have to have a proper girls day soon, yeah?"
"This, today, this is more than enough" Vanessa told her, trying not to cry. Hailey squeezed her arm gently giving her a small smile, which consequently creased her face mask "Thought I told you not to move?" Vanessa let out a small chuckle followed by a sniffle.
"We are having a proper girl's day soon and if there's anything else you wanna do, we can figure out a time to do that too?" Hailey told her while she set a timer on her phone for the face mask to dry.
"You really mean that?"
"Of course, I do"
"You're gonna make me cry Hails, jeez"
"You'll ruin your mask" Hailey joked, trying to stop her from crying which caused Vanessa to let out a louder laugh.
"Don't you dare talk about running masks, I've never met a person who moves their face so much"
"Its cold!" Hailey exclaimed "I'm not going to be able to just sit still when you're slathering cold goo onto my face"
"I was still"
"Yeah, well, you're weird"
"Real nice come back Hailey, where did you learn that from? a first grader?"
"I would stick my tongue out at you, but I do not want to chance getting any of this in my mouth"
"Literal first grader oh my god"
"Shush or I won't teach you how to make loukoumades later"
Vanessa gasped "You wouldn't dare"
"Oh, I would"
"This has got to be a form of blackmail" Hailey burst out laughing at this which caused Vanessa to also double over with laughter. The whole house was filled with their laughs, they were probably slightly drunk already and maybe that wouldn't fare well later when they made loukoumades but they were having fun, Hailey had made sure that Vanessa was having fun and that she was happy and that's what really mattered to her.
The pair collapsed on their couch, it was now probably around ten pm, there was a plate of loukoumades on the coffee table in front of them like they hadn't just demolished half of the batch in the kitchen after finishing their Chinese takeout (one of Vanessa's favourites of course).
"You ready for tomorrow?" Vanessa questioned the blonde next to her.
"I think so, I thought intelligence was intense but with the Feds that's a whole other level, so hopefully nothing too crazy happens and it's an easy first day back"
"That's good, I'm glad, everyone really missed you" Vanessa told her reaching over to take another one of the loukoumades.
"I missed you guys too, it was good work over there and OA was great, we went for drinks a couple of times, but he wasn't you"
"Or Jay" vanessa added.
"Or Jay" Hailey repeated in a whisper.
"You really love him huh"
"Of course, I do hes-"
"He's your partner and of course you love your partner because that's who you spend the most time with on the job and blah blah but you know that wasn't what I was talking about Hails, and you know it" Vanessa interrupted
"It's scary," Hailey confessed, turning her head so that she was looking at Vanessa "I haven't felt this way for someone in a really long time and then what if I do get all vulnerable and he doesn't feel the same?" Hailey sighed, imagining a situation where she completely lets her guard down with one of the two people she trusts most in the world, and it backfires.
"I don't think you have to worry about him not feeling the same Hailey, I've seen the way he looks at you"
"You think he feels the same?" she questioned quietly.
"I know so, tell him when you're ready but just know sometimes you just have to go for it, rip the band aid off because you might never be ready or by the time you are, he's moved on" Vanessa told her carefully.
"When did you get so good at giving pep talks huh?" Hailey wiped away a tear that had fallen "Thank you for that V, I think I'll tell him soon, I'll have to find a good time too, not just yet though, but soon"
Vanessa smiled at her friend, she knew that Hailey had her walls up for good reasons, a lot of people she loved had hurt her or she had lost them and that wasn't an easy thing for anyone to go through but Vanessa knew what ever happened Hailey would always have Jay, these last four weeks proved that, no matter how far apart they were they still tried their utmost best to be there for each other when they could, they put each other above almost everything.
"I have a gift I guess" Vanessa cracked a small joke which made Hailey chuckle softly she was very grateful for the younger girl and the million ways she always made her smile.
"Yeah, yeah you do" Hailey told her "And while we're on the topic of relationships, I may have heard something about you and a certain officer Atwater?"
"Oh my god what did Jay say to you?"
"He didn't say anything really, I was saying to him how I'm glad that you're getting closer to more people on the team like him and like Kev and he said well maybe you and Kev aren't just friends"
"Oh my god" Vanessa said again her cheeks now clearly red which caused Hailey to giggle.
"You so have a crush on him"
"You really are like a first grader" Vanessa deadpanned "and you know what, what if I do?"
"Oh my god" Hailey squealed.
"We've been spending more time together, like I crashed at his place a couple times while you were gone and it does kinda feel like more than just friends but like not at the stage of being in a proper relationship, if that makes sense"
"Have you slept with him?" Hailey question.
"No!" Vanessa gasped.
"Didn't realise that sleeping with him was a bad thing ill be sure to pass that information on" Hailey teased.
"Hailey-"
"I'm kidding I promise" she laughed.
"You better be" Vanessa pointed at her while giggling, yeah they were definitely drunk, which probably wouldn't be the best for Hailey's first day back at work the next day, but they were happy and having fun and just being sisters, which was all they really cared about right now.
Hailey and Vanessa managed to walk into the ballpen on time, albeit a little hungover from the night before but on time nonetheless, but of course everyone else was there before them.
"Hailey!" Kevin was the first person to spot her, his pace fastening so that he could get to her from the others side of the bullpen, before pulling her into a tight hug "We missed you girl" he told her after he pulled away.
"I missed you guys too"
"The feds really that bad huh?" Adam asked before pulling her into a hug.
"They're not bad, just… different? I guess?" she explained before giving Kim a hug.
"We really did miss you" Kim told her.
"It can't have been that bad without me, come on" Her eyes met Jays, who had come over to join the little reunion happening, giving him a small smile as a hello. She had already reunited with him two days before so there wasn't really any need for hugs with him, not that they would really hug in front of the other she thought anyways.
"Well,'' Adam started "This guy over here" he pointed at Jay who raised his eyebrows at him to say, 'oh you're doing this already?'
"He was the sulkiest and grumpiest I have ever seen him and I'm not even exaggerating"
"Oh, he was huh?" Hailey looked between Jay and Adam and then around at the rest of the group.
"I've got to say Ruze isn't exaggerating on this Hails" Kevin commented as Jay rolled his eyes. Hailey looked over at Kev in surprise and the looked to Kim to make sure it wasn't just the guys being guys.
"They're not exaggerating, though they probably could've been a bit nicer about it" Kim told her, making sure to look at Adam in the last part of her sentence while Adam held his hands up in surrender.
Hailey looked back over at Jay and tilted her head "Thought Vanessa was exaggerating huh?"
"I definitely was not!" Vanessa jumped in.
"I think they're all exaggerating" Jay spoke up.
"And I think you should all actually do some work" They turned to find Trudy standing behind them.
"Jesus Christ Sarge, how long have you been standing there for?" Adam all but yelled after being scared but Platt suddenly speaking up from behind them.
"Long enough" Trudy said in her usual tone, no expression on her face.
"Yeah, I'll be getting back to work" Hailey heard Kevin mumble as the group dispersed back to their desks, Hailey turned to do the same.
"Not you Upton"
"Oh?" Hailey turned back to the older woman.
"Just wanted to say welcome back" Trudy told her.
"Oh, that's kind of you Sarge"
"Yeah, well don't get used to it, well maybe unless you bring round some of those Greek donut things that you dropped off for me and Randall before you left for New York, we'll see then"
"Loukoumades" Hailey nodded.
"I'm not even going to try and pronounce that" Trudy told her which made Hailey chuckle before Trudy spoke again, a little quieter this time "oh and for the record they are definitely not over exaggerating, I've never seen him that sulky before, he really missed you" she told her, Hailey smiled and turned to look at her partner who was currently scribbling away at some paperwork, before turning back to Trudy.
"I really missed him too" Hailey told her which made Trudy's usually stern demeanour crack, into a small smile, she had a real soft spot for the pair, well for all of the unit really, they were like children to her, not she would never admit that she had a soft spot for them to any of them though, she had a reputation to uphold after all.
"Right, back to work, paperwork won't do itself"
"You got it Sarge" Hailey nodded and made her way to her desk. She pulled out her chair, got settled into it and logged on to her computer for the first time in four weeks. She pulled a stack of papers from the files on her desk and began looking through them. There were a few things she needed to sign, she reached over to Jay's side of their joined desks and pulled a pen from his little cup. He gave her his usual 'what the hell do you not have any pens of your own?' look but with a smile of course and then went back to his own paperwork, smile still on his face, happy that things were back to normal.
Hailey caught herself staring and admiring his smile for a little longer than she liked and made a rush to get started on her paperwork, but not before looking round the bullpen at her co-workers all in their own little words doing their own thing on their computers or doing their paperwork and she smiled to herself. This is where she wanted to be, not in New York, not with the feds but here in Chicago, working in one of the most elite units, working with some of her best friends who she now considered family, working with Jay. This is where she wanted to be.
Notes: Just wanted to say a big thank you to Lucy (upsteadtwt on twitter) for this idea and for writing the conversation where Vanessa tells Jay to pick up the Stir Fry and letting me develop it into this whole thing, Ily 3
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Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
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Until next time... 3