Note: This chapter starts after Return of the Jedi. It's vague as far as timeline and other details and should fit it into whatever cannon you follow for post-ROTJ. The parts set on Ord Mantell loosely follow Disney cannon in that they include Evaan Verlaine and Sana Starros but are mostly AU with some Han and Leia sexy times (fair warning, that section is somewhat vague on details and not explicit but probably merits an M rating). I'll wrap everything up in one final chapter where it'll all go to hell (sorry, it's going to be painful) before it all gets better. I hope you like it. Comments and feedback are very welcome.

Sometime after ROTJ (make it work with whatever cannon you follow)

Leia's mind drifted peacefully after she and Han finished making love and she blissed out with Han's arms wrapped around her, one hand reverently on her growing belly. She had missed her husband so much after he was off-planet for weeks, wracked by a familiar anxiety that he might not come home one of these times. To see wonder and tenderness when he saw the growth of their baby in her belly while he had been away had filled her with an unwavering, boundless, and unconditional love for her little family.

She had had déjà vu since the minute Han had returned home and put his arms around her. A memory tickled her brain that she couldn't quite place. Something about the Falcon and Han. After a few more minutes of searching her memories, she gasped with realization.

"Han!"

"Yeah, Sweetheart?" He lifted his head off the pillow to kiss her shoulder.

"Do you remember the first time I told you I had a sex dream about us? The one where we were married and I thought I was pregnant?"

"Worship, I will never forget that night. I was madly in love with you, and you finally confirmed that you were at least attracted to me." He chuckled.

"That dream I had – it was now, tonight, Love. It was a force vision before I knew I was force sensitive. I had almost forgot how beautiful it felt to me at the time. And I'm a little surprised I didn't run screaming from your bunk right then. I was so terrified of getting close to you then, so resistant to letting myself be in love with you. Remember when I was convinced it was Vader planting visions in my head to mess with me? I was so positive I'd die fighting the war that I couldn't picture a happy ending for us. Thank the goddess I stopped fighting the attraction and seduced you a few days later."

She turned to look at him and they exchanged conspiratorial grins as they both recalled the two weeks of unguarded, undimmable happiness and content they experienced in each other's arms before Ord Mantell.

Han's face grew serious as he reached for her hand and kissed it.

"That night you told me about your dream, I could picture a future with you. Scared the shit out of me, but I just stopped fighting it after that night. Comin' up the way I did, I wouldn't have bet a million credits I'd get to be this happy, with you." He wrapped his arms around her tighter, gathering her closely.

"I love you." He said softly in her ear, his voice uncharacteristically tight with emotion.

"I love you too." Leia's eyes filled. Damn pregnancy hormones were wreaking havoc on her tonight. She looked over her shoulder to find his lips for a touching kiss.

Back then, in the early days of the fake relationship mission, she had so struggled against falling in love with him. Those feelings had been marred by guilt and conflict of duty and heart. A discomfort that waned but didn't disappear as she sank into his arms each night when they began to sleep together, until it all came to a head on Ord Mantell.

"Do you ever wonder how we would have turned out if Ord Mantell had never happened?"

"Nah. I learned a long time ago not to waste time on what ifs. Was it fucking awful when it all went to shit? Yeah, 'course it was. There were about six billion things that had to go right and wrong for us to end up on that long crawl to Bespin together and finally make it all right. Maybe Ord Mantell was one of 'em. And no matter what hell we suffered; I wouldn't trade any of it for this life with you now."

Ord Mantell and the aftermath had been such an incredibly dark time in a relationship forged in strength by dark times and endless trauma. Now, their devoted love for each other, a precious thing that was so hard-fought, was something that filled them with light, helped heal them whole, and was a joyful and sacred gift they shared.

Leia shifted to rest her head on Han's chest and they held each other as they both thought back to that blasted failed mission. What should have been the beginning of their love story temporarily became the end as it all went so terribly wrong.

XXX

Ord Mantell 3 ABY, Pre ESB

Janray Tessime was thrilled to be on her second operation in as many days for the Rebel Alliance. Not only would she make use of her skills as a galaxy-renowned propaganda artist and holo-maker, but she was also expected to help as a lookout and to participate in negotiations with a medical supplier that could potentially keep the Rebel Alliance in bacta and 2-1Bs for the next year.

She, Wedge Antilles, and Luke Skywalker had arrived to the coastal capital city of Worlport on Ord Mantell. They had met up with Leia and Han at a gorgeous beach house the Alliance had arranged for them to stay during their mission. Janray planned on playing it cool around her Princess, but she was secretly thrilled to spend more time working with Leia. She also was keen to observe her and Han Solo together. She suspected they were faking the "fake" in their relationship. In any event, she knew they would give her plenty of sizzling chemistry and flawless teamwork for her to create effective holos and posters.

The group had the entire evening free before negotiations with the medical dealer would begin the following morning. After sweeping the entire house for surveillance equipment and finding nothing, they had congregated in the living area around several couches. Although they could all use a night out on the town or in the casinos after so many stressful and lean months, Janray had overheard Han quietly ask Leia to have the group stay in tonight to avoid detection. She must have agreed or deferred, because she had ordered the team to lay low soon after.

Janray had taken her data pad out to preview to Leia and Han three new propaganda posters she had created that highlighted their relationship and the Rebel Alliance as a place where people fought and loved on their own merits, not their birthright. Leia had looked delighted with her work, complimenting the posters as powerful and gorgeous. Janray was incredibly pleased at the compliment from her Princess, and yet more pleased to see that Leia, whose profound loss she knew so well as a fellow Alderaanian, appeared happy with Solo.

Snuggled tightly against Han's side, Leia's hand lightly rested on his leg, and his arm was slung around her in what could only be interpreted as a well-practiced position. Janray attempted to conceal her smile when Leia had asked Solo if he liked the posters, and without thinking, he had kissed her and said yes.

She then moved the discussion to her plans to record holos and create propaganda posters of Leia and Han working an op together looking like a couple. She pre-empted Leia by reiterating that she wanted to avoid any appearance of this being a vacation, and to emphasize instead, her partnership with Han, and the teamwork of her, Luke, and Han all together. They were all on the same page about that and had sketched out a rough outline of the shots and moments Janray wanted to capture.

After, Janray hovered on the fringes of the room in order to further observe and record the duo. Han and Leia had their heads together, huddled on the couch with her datapad, going over every detail of the negotiations the following day. Janray felt wistful, missing her own love as she watched them work together so effectively. For all the talk of their differences in upbringing, she could observe that Han and Leia had far more in common than not. They were both meticulous in planning, practical in their tactical brilliance, well matched at matching wits, and unflinching in their willingness to do anything to protect each other. The one divergence she noted was that Han's top priority was very clearly Leia, while her's was the success of the mission. She pondered to what extent this had or might create tension between them.

Janray stifled a laugh as she overheard their conversation while she sketched them.

"How about a little lesson in diplomacy before tomorrow, Your Worship? It's not every mission I'm doin' the negotiating with you. You usually tell me to shut up and look pretty." He had ended with a playful pout.

Leia had looked at him with an amused smile.

"Han, you have every skill you need to be a stellar diplomat. You could negotiate a wookie out of their tree house. You can read someone like the best of the sabaac players. You react quickly and adapt. You speak dozens of languages. You could be among the best." She paused, gauging his reaction to her unvarnished compliment. When he smiled, Janray noticed Leia was about to pounce.

"But…."

"Ah c'mon, can't you just leave it as a compliment for once?"

"But, you lack one important skill of diplomacy." She playfully tapped his scarred chin.

Han just gave her a look that said, "Do your worst."

"You aren't diplomatic, Hotshot! You gotta turn on the charm!"

"You mean I gotta seduce 'em. Set up the long con? Use that low voice-whisper that makes you crazy"

"Yes! But not the whisper-rumble, that's mine." Leia had dropped her voice seductively and Janray was convinced there was no way in hell they weren't sleeping together too. Leia must have thought she had said that out of ear-shot, not realizing Janray was just out of sight with data-pad and stylus.

Han finally noticed that Janray had been sketching and filming them surreptitiously from across the room. Han winked at her before resuming his conversation with Leia. They sounded confident going into negotiations and Janray was certain the missions (propaganda and medical supplies) would be a huge success.

XXX

Han must have told Leia about Janray capturing their conversation, because a short while later, Leia knocked on her bedroom door hoping for a sneak peek of the sketches and holo.

She waved her over to sit at the edge of the bed, sensing Leia's curiosity was less micro-management and more interest in how she and Han appeared together.

After playing the holo, Leia had laughed at her exchange with Han about diplomacy, but had requested the last comment about her low-register whisper be edited out, a blush rising up her neck at being caught making such a comment.

"These are the sketches I made. What comes through powerfully in the holo, and what I attempted to capture in the sketches is the strong partnership you two have. You both seek consensus with each other through eye contact, smiles, and touches. You actively listen to each other and pursue and defer to each other's expertise, and there is a comfortable playfulness and affection that comes across as both romantic and authentically developed over time. And, well forgive me, I don't mean to presume, but the chemistry between you two is just…fire," Janray said with admiration.

She smiled at Leia, who was lost in thought looking at the sketches of her and Han with a look that could only be described as longing, irrevocable, undeniable love.

"Leia, can I ask you a question?"

Leia tore her eyes from the gorgeous sketches and nodded.

"Is this still a fake relationship? It doesn't look like you two have to try very hard to fake anything," Janray whispered.

"Uhhh." Leia was frankly taken aback by the question, but also tremendously pleased. Being a member of high command and the Last Princess of Alderaan was incredibly isolating. She was grateful Janray felt comfortable enough to ask her.

"We haven't talked about what exactly we are or aren't, but we aren't faking the kissing. And when it comes to a mission, Han is the only one I want or truly trust as my partner." Leia shrugged her shoulders, giving Janray a little more than she normally would, but as usual left much unspoken.

"That kiss on Lorel Minor was so epic and romantic. A propagandist's dream." Janray grinned at Leia.

Leia grinned back and excused herself to help prepare dinner. Janray knew Leia had held back saying how she really felt about Han, but what was unspoken and obvious in those sketches and the holo spoke volumes about how their true feelings for each other.

XXX

Han watched Leia from the doorway leading to the deck. They had enjoyed a simple dinner with excellent conversation with their friends. Han had been a loner for so long, but despite his best efforts, he had grown to care about, and even like this group of rebels. Conversation had been lively and witty, sometimes biting in the merciless teasing, but nice. He wished again that Chewie was here. Leia had been highly engaged this evening, her mask down around trusted friends, but Han sensed she was preoccupied. Leia finally had excused herself to stand on the deck a few minutes before. He wasn't worried about her safety alone out there – he knew Evaan Verlaine and Sana Starros were unseen nearby, keeping an eye on the perimeter and the Princess.

Leia was bathed in the soft glow of a full moon, completely lost in contemplation of something. She looked absolutely, effortlessly gorgeous in a casual green sundress that showed off her toned arms and tiny waste. Not one to succumb to emotional sentimentality, Han was horrified to realize he felt choked with emotion, nearly strangled by the depth of his love for her.

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms about her middle, drawing her close to kiss her cheek.

"A credit for your thoughts, Princess?"

Leia turned to look at him and surprised him with an adoring smile before she wrapped her arms around him tightly and pulled him into a crushing hug that touched him with its unguarded sweetness.

"Hey, you ok? You look a million light years away."

"More ok than I've been in years."

He looked at her searchingly. Not daring to hope he might have something to do with bringing a little light to this warrior-goddess who was so strong and had suffered so much, but still held onto hope.

"I think you might be good for me, Han Solo."

Han's eyes brightened at her unmasked vulnerability and admission. He'd been a street urchin born and raised. He'd never been treated as good enough, never felt loved by anyone until he met Chewie. He'd had a chip on his shoulder at the unjust cruelty and hard living he'd experienced, and yet this incredible being that lit the entire galaxy with her magnanimity thought he was good for her. Good enough for her. He just couldn't grasp it, but whatever fears he'd had that their life experiences, that their places in the galaxy wouldn't ever allow them to be together, began to crumble. Like any truly great sabaac player, Han saw odds he liked just enough to risk it,and decided he would go for the win.

"Well that's funny, because I think you might be good for me, too Leia Organa."

Their eyes caught and they smiled warmly at each other before the look sparked heat and Han leaned down to kiss her, like a promise for happiness and safety, partnership and love.

Leia almost drew her holdout blaster when they were rudely interrupted by loud banging on the window. They broke apart, a beautiful and romantic moment somewhat ruined by their idiot friends.

"Get a room!" Wedge and Luke taunted on the other side of the window, snickering to each other.

Han laughed and made sure to wink at the guys before he tossed Leia over his shoulder with a comical cackle and ran with her inside to her room. Leia thought about protesting, did pretend to as she half-heartedly demanded he put her down this instant, and she even fake-beat her fists against Han's back. Afterall, she had a reputation to keep (not that anyone in that house thought they weren't sleeping together). But as Han tossed her on the bed with a predatory gleam in his eye, she resolved to just be Leia, a woman happily in the arms of her love.

XXX

Leia woke in the middle of the night immersed in a feeling of being whole for the first time in years. Han had reached for her hand in his sleep and squeezed it. Maybe it was because it made her feel cherished, or that Han was thinking about her even in sleep, but the unconscious contact touched her deeply.

Han was always moving, and she rarely had an opportunity to just look at him unobserved. He was on his side next to her, sleeping soundly, his lower lip out in a relaxed pout that looked boyish. With his trademark scowl lost to sleep, she gasped at how beautiful he was. Broad shoulders, strong chest, and abdominal muscles that tapered into a mouth-watering v at his slender hips. A body toned through physical labor on his ship. Handsome? Always! But his features in sleep were a slightly asymmetrical study in breathtaking gorgeousness.

He must have sensed her scrutiny because his eyes blinked open and he smiled when he saw she was watching him.

"Hi," He whispered sleepily, pulling her closer so they were nose to nose, her leg tucked into his.

"You squeezed my hand in your sleep," She whispered back, smiling genuinely.

"Is that a good thing?"

She caressed his cheek tenderly and looked him in the eye with so much warmth and raw emotion he held his breath.

"Han, make love to me."

Han's eyes opened wide in surprise at Leia's choice of phrase. He gazed at her intently attempting to understand her meaning, whether this was the moment he could show her he loved her.

Her breath caught at the depth and intensity of his silent searching eyes.

Each had taken pains to not hold back with each other when being intimate, but also to keep it on the light side. Their sexual experience together so far had been fun and fulfilling, hotly passionate and adventurous, but he wouldn't have described it as anything approaching his somewhat nebulous concept of making love to someone.

Han considered what Leia meant by it. Did she mean actual love, or was it a phrase indicating she wanted something sensuously slow with a bit more emotion and romance? She had been acting different the past day with him. The looks she had given them had changed from openly affectionate to deep and meaningful.

"You just keep surprising me, Princess."

"Is that ok?" She asked with a touch of vulnerability.

"Very ok," He rumbled in her ear as he picked up her hand and kissed her palm before leaning his cheek against it and pausing to savor the touch with eyes closed.

Han hadn't been kidding when he'd told her he was a man of action and not words. He could show her he loved her, right now. A calculated risk without too much danger of blow back.

He kissed her slowly, taking time to savor her until she burned for him. He hovered over her on all fours to place torturously slow kisses and feather light caresses down her body. He loved her tenderly, worshipping her with his mouth and fingers. She reached down on a cry, her hand buried in his hair when she found her release.

While she came back down, he placed tender kisses across her face and down her neck. He screwed up his courage to ask what he had longed to for weeks.

"Leia, can I make love to you with your hair down?" She'd never seen him make himself so vulnerable to rejection.

Her face clouded with emotion - he noted sorrow, surprise, arousal, happiness, and finally resolve.

"Undo the fasteners and unravel the braids."

She moved to sit with her back against his chest and gently kissed his knuckles before moving his hand to a fastener. She guided his fingers to remove it, and then helped him unravel the braid and gently comb it out. She again wondered how such big hands could move so nimbly and gently. He lovingly gathered up the section of loose hair and smelled it reverently. Han continued with the intimate act until her hair hung loose around her shoulders. He gently moved her to her back and slid his hands into her hair with a slow, burning kiss.

"You're so beautiful," He exhaled on another held breath.

Han kissed her again before positioning himself over her. He sought eye contact as he slowly entered her, one hand buried in her hair as they exchanged an emotional, fathomless gaze. He bent to glide his lips over hers as he moved slowly, and in an act of symmetry that matched her dream and his unconscious action, he reached again for her hand and gripped it. The stirring sensuality of the movement, the intensity of their shared looks, all built slowly towards a beautiful and passionate peak.

Han and Leia held each other after, exchanging significant looks and languid kisses. It was the most stunning intimacy and emotional connection each had ever experienced. Making love was exactly what they had done with each other, even if they once again chose not to verbalize it.

Leia drifted back to sleep having made the decision to tell Han she wanted a real relationship on their way back to Echo Base. It had been a long dark road for her to get to this point, but she was ready for more and she wanted it with Han.

XXX

End Note: This chapter is dedicated to my husband who is four/fifths nice guy and one/fifth scoundrel and still squeezes my hand in his sleep, even after nearly 15 years together.