A/N: Hi everyone. I know it has been a rough week and I wasn't exactly sure what was going to happen when I opened my computer up tonight. But this came to me and I just really think it's a way for me to find some kind of peace as to what has happened. I am utterly heartbroken for JDF, his children, but most importantly, his fans. With every new detail that comes to light, it's like reading about it for the first time over and over again. I pray with every fiber in me that he is at peace now or that he is at least able to see the impact he has made on all of us here.
So, this is something I wrote for Tommy and Kimberly. I am not sure when and if I will be able to continue my other fics. It's very hard for me to picture anything involving them right now. I am hoping someday soon, I will be able to. But please make sure you are taking care of yourselves and each other. My inbox is always open for each and everyone of you if you ever need to talk.
Love you guys!
For you, JDF.
Legacy
"A man's legacy is measured by the amount he loved others rather than the amount he was loved."
"How long has it been like this?" I questioned, gazing out towards the horizon. I could see the fog beginning to roll back over the grassy hills that surrounded the fields but the wet dew and mist hung in the air like a heavy blanket. The sun was nowhere to be seen behind the gray clouds, making everything feel humid in its wake.
"A couple of days now." Trini murmured next to me, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "I've always heard that it was good luck for it to be raining."
"I think that's for weddings." I muttered, looking down at my hands.
"Same thing, right?" She replied, smirking in my direction. I didn't respond, turning my eyes back towards the horizon. Beyond it, I wondered if the rest of the world was awake now, getting ready to head off to work or school, the things most people do on a Tuesday morning in November. School would be going on break soon for the Thanksgiving holiday, allowing families to spend time together. People were probably going out to shop for the essentials they would need for their big family meals. Soon, the holiday season would be in full swing with Christmas music and holiday cheer ringing in the air.
"It's going to be okay, Tommy." Trini said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "It's one day at a time. It takes time but I promise that I will be here to support you every step of the way. No one should have to go through this alone."
"Thanks." I whispered, giving her a small smile. I wrung my hands again, wishing that I could be anywhere else in the world right now.
"Someone is coming." She said, gesturing her head behind me. Turning, I saw she was right. About twenty yards away, two men were walking towards us. Both were dressed in black suits, black jackets on their torsos that they were trying to use to block out the fine mist in the air. As they approached, I recognized the faces of Jason Lee Scott and Zack Taylor. Jason's hands were shoved into his pockets as they walked, his head down and sunglasses on his eyes. NExt to him, Zack was holding his collar up against the wind as he tried his best to stay dry. It was an effort he was failing at as the moisture seemed to cling to everything it touched.
"This weather is shitty." Zack said, coming to a stop next to us. "I knew I should have grabbed an umbrella from the car."
"It's supposed to stop." Jason said, his deep voice carrying into the slight breeze as he stopped. He sighed, glancing around. "I think it just hasn't let up yet because of that storm from the other night." He scratched at the thick goatee he had growing on his face, a much different look for him than he had the last time I had seen him. It suited him, defining the facial features of his eyes more than the slight weight he had put on since his retirement from anything Ranger related. Zack was also looking a bit different. His signature dreads were gone and his hair was cut rather short to his scalp. Both didn't appear to be pushing 45 though they were, their appearances making them seem to be much younger.
"The others should be coming." Zack said, glancing at the watch on his wrist.
"Yeah. Billy called me before they left the house." Jason replied. "Emily told me that the kids were giving him a hard time." I smiled as he mentioned his daughter Emily. She had to be about 14 now. I wondered for a moment if she was in school or if she was off for the holiday now.
"That's what you get for marrying an alien who has twins in her family I suppose." Zack said, smiling. The smile faded though as he sunk his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "How is she?"
"I don't know, man. She isn't saying much." Jason said softly, shaking his head. "I tried calling her last night but she just texted me and said she wasn't up to it."
"This is normal." Trini said, giving my shoulder a light squeeze. It was like she read my mind, the concern growing. I didn't move to speak, just giving a slight nod. Off in the distance, I heard the sound of a car door closing. I strained my eyes to see and saw that there were three more people walking towards us. Two men were accompanying a woman through the grassy area. As they neared, I saw Adam Parks, Rocky DeSantos, and his wife, Aisha Campell. The three smiled when they approached, Adam and Rocky's black suits matching Jason and Zack. Aisha wore a yellow sundress, a black coat over the top of it. Everyone hugged as they came to a stop, squeezing tightly as they did.
"How are you holding up?" Adam asked as he released Jason. Jason gave a short nod, adjusting the glasses on his face.
"I'm okay." He said, his face not breaking its hold of a blank expression. Aisha looked in my direction, her eyes glassing over for a moment. I moved to speak but Trini gave my arm another gentle squeeze to stop me. Aisha turned away, facing the group again.
"It still doesn't feel real, you know?" Rocky said softly, shaking his head. "I feel like it's a dream that I just can't shake myself out of."
"Well, you need to." Aisha said firmly, looking at her husband. She casted a look at everyone around her. "I know that we are going through this together right now but we need to be there for her more than ever."
"We will be." Zack said. "We've always been a team and it's going to keep going on now."
"It better." Aisha warned. "I'm not going through this again." For a brief moment, emotion was thick in her voice. Reaching over, Rocky put a hand on her back and allowed her to lean into his side.
"She's always been so passionate about her friends." I said, looking at Aisha. "I remember when she first joined the team, I wasn't sure if she'd be able to fill your shoes. I thought for sure she would be more concerned about gossiping or hanging out with Rocky than she would be about the job. I was wrong though."
"She really did bring her own flare to the color yellow." Trini replied, smiling towards Aisha. "Plus, she filled out the suit better than I ever did."
"Tell that to Jason." I said. She let out a little giggle, nodding her head as she looked over at her own husband.
"He always had a knack for staring at me while I was morphed."
"We all knew it." I adjusted my feet, looking behind me at the horizon. The fog was rolled back all the way now and the mist was letting up, allowing just the humidity to hang in the air.
"It was hard for us to leave the team." Trini said, crossing her arms. "It was like we were leaving our family behind and a duty we swore to uphold. I know Jason and Zack really struggled with that. But I knew that Aisha, Rocky, and Adam would be capable of filling in."
"Rocky did a great job at being a red ranger. He took to it really quickly and I knew I could always count on him in a battle. He was a bit thick headed at times but he's a good friend and team member to have fighting with you. Adam too. He brought a kind of grace and pensiveness to the team that always reminded me of you. He's so quiet when he needs to be but he was always the first person to jump into battle when the occasion called for it. You two would really get along well." I said. Trini looked over at the two who were talking with Jason and Zack.
"He seems like a loyal kind of person. Zordon was right in choosing these three for the team. They did a great job in fulfilling the mission of the Power Rangers."
"Though, they didn't have all of your guys' quirks. No one could dance like Zack." I said, grinning as I thought about Zack dancing across the floor at the Youth Center. "No one could quite fill in the void that his absence made when it came to his dancing or picking music for our warm ups. That's something that's only reserved for him. I can't hear any kind of hip hop song without wondering how he would move along to it or if he had something to do with the beat."
"I always loved watching him do his dancing while fighting. Those putties had no clue what was happening until it was too late." Trini said. "It was like a show before they were torn apart."
"Zack sure is something else." I muttered, shifting my gaze over to Jason. I saw that the sun was starting to shine now as the clouds grew thin. "Jason was my first best friend. No one else gave me the time of day when I first arrived. He went out of his way to make sure that I had someone to sit with that first day and that I knew someone. I don't think I've ever told anyone this before but I never really made friends much before I moved here to Angel Grove. I never saw a point since we never stayed long somewhere. But after everything with Rita and my parents deciding that we needed to stay here, Jason did everything in his power to make me feel welcome and part of the team. Even when we didn't see eye to eye. He's really my best friend."
"And he loves you." Trini said, giving me a small smile again. "You mean the world to him. Honestly, I think he talks more about you than about me most days. Jason knew how good of a person you are, Tommy. That's why he knew you were meant to be one of us right from the beginning."
"You did too." I said, shifting to face her. "You have never judged me or said anything unkind to me the entire time I've known you, Trini. You've been this sweet and caring person that we all know we can count on for as long as I can remember. I am very lucky to be able to call you my friend."
"And I'm lucky as well." She responded. I saw her gaze shift from me to behind me again. This time, when I turned and looked, I saw that two people were now walking towards our group. One was a taller man, dressed in all black like the rest. I knew this was Billy Cranston from his gait, the sun reflecting off the glasses that were perched on the tip of his nose. Next to him walked a petite woman who only came to his shoulder. Her long chestnut brown hair was down around her face as she wore a long black coat over a soft pink dress. My breath hitched as the sunlight shone on her through the slits in the clouds, illuminating Kimberly Hart like an angel walking through the fine mist in the air.
"You know, you mean the world to Billy too." Trini said, pulling me back from my thoughts. "He told me once that he couldn't believe that someone like you would want to be friends with someone like him. He never thought he was good enough for your friendship in school."
"I always felt the same way about myself though. I was never the smart guy but Billy never looked down on me for that. That's why he's always my first call when I need some advice or my taxes done. When they had the twins, I knew that they were the luckiest because they had such a smart Dad to make sure they were going to be set for life. I would trust Billy with my life any time. I'd trust any of you really. Well, maybe not Rocky."
"Smart choice." She whispered, grinning at me. I shifted my eyes over to Kim again as her and Billy came to a stop with everyone else. No one spoke or made a move, a tension in the air around us as I watched Kimberly take a deep breath.
"I'm really glad you all could make it." She said, "I know it's going to be hectic here in about an hour or so but I wanted to make sure that we took this time ourselves to be with each other."
"Whatever you need from us." Zack said. Kim gave a small smile as she looked around the circle at all of us.
"Thank you." Turning, she and Billy started walking towards the left of the field where we were standing. Everyone moved to follow her, Trini and I bringing up the rear as we did. For several minutes, the group moved in silence as they made their way through the wet grass. Coming over a small hill, Kim came to a stop and halted the group. Looking down at the area in front of us, I saw the reflection of the sun bouncing off the wet surfaces of the headstones that were scattered throughout the cemetery of Angel Grove. About ten yards away from our group, there were chairs set up with a green carpet to prevent the legs from sinking into the Earth. There was also a podium and next to that was a large whole dug in the ground, the sign of a fresh grave. A casket was on the stilts above the hole, waiting to be lowered down into the ground. There were floral arrangements set up on isles next to that and on a stand, there was a picture.
A picture of me.
"I always liked that picture of you." Trini said, gazing over towards it. "You definitely look the part of Dr. Oliver in it." The picture had been taken a couple years ago, my long hair gone and replaced with shorter gelled locks. My glasses were on and I was smiling at the camera, a relaxed expression on my face.
"I still can't believe this." Zack said, shaking his head as the group stood near the casket that held my remains. "It doesn't seem possible."
"He was just so full of life." Aisha whispered, her voice cracking as I watched her lip quiver. Rocky pulled her in for a hug, wrapping his arms around his wife. Adam stroked her back, a look of grief on his face. I noticed that JAson had taken a step back, his arms crossed as he turned his back towards the casket and the picture.
"He did the same at mine." Trini said, clasping her hands together in front of her. "He just stood off to the side for an hour by himself. I felt so awful for him."
"He took it so hard when you had your accident." I nodded. "I was worried about him. I've never seen someone love someone so much before."
"I have." She replied, smiling over at me before looking at Kim. Billy was standing next to Kim but was giving her space as she looked over at my casket. Slowly, she reached out and placed a hand on the polished wood as her fingers trembled.
"I spent so much time being angry about the break up." I whispered. "I thought that our time together was over. I always assumed she stopped loving me that day she left."
"Tommy, you're the one thing in this life that her heart has never let her forget." Trini said. I watched as tears slid down Kim's face and she closed her eyes. I stepped closer to her, just out of Trini's reach.
"Oh, handsome." Kim whispered, opening her eyes again. She leaned in closer to the casket, resting her forehead on it the best she could. "What am I going to do on this Earth without now?"
"Kimberly…" I said, the hot tears beginning to burn in my own eyes as I held out a hand towards her. I couldn't touch her though, my fingers just going through her like a projected image. She began to sob, clutching something at her chest. When she stood up straight, I saw that she was holding onto a necklace in her hand and that the chain was around her neck. She released it and the glint of the golden heart pendant I had given her so many years ago caught that of the sun.
"I should have called you. I should have checked in on you. I should have made sure you were okay. I should have told you just how much I loved you when I had the chance." She whispered, turning her eyes up to the sky. "I should have come home."
"Hey." Jason's voice said as he appeared next to Kim and I. He reached out and put a hand on her back. She turned, collapsing into his chest into a heap of sobs. Trini walked up to me, putting a hand on my shoulder as I watched the love of my life fall apart without a way to console her. "Listen to me." Jason said after a minute, holding Kim at arm's length. "I know this sucks right now. It's so shitty and I know exactly how you feel. But I promise you that this pain you have in your chest is there to make sure you wake up tomorrow and the next day and the day after that, okay?"
"I can't." She whispered, shaking her head.
"Yes, you can. I know you can because you have to. Not for yourself but for Tommy." I heard emotion crack in Jason's voice as he looked down at Kimberly. "I can't explain what happened or why Tommy felt like he didn't have any other options, Kim. I wish I could go back and do more. I will live with guilt for the rest of my life for that. But you can't. You can't give up because that isn't what Tommy would want for you."
"How am I supposed to do it without him?" She said, defeat in her voice.
"I can't watch this anymore." I said, tears slipping down my face. "I can't leave her."
"I promise you that you won't have to feel the pain you are in anymore after this." Trini said. "But you need to have this closure before you can move on peacefully."
"I caused this." I whispered, looking at all of my friends now as they grouped together around Kim to console her. "I should have fought harder. I should have tried to find another solution instead of the permanent one I picked."
"Tommy, don't be ashamed because you felt you had nowhere to turn." Trini said. "I don't have all the answers of the universe but I can say that the choice you made wasn't your fault. Sometimes, the universe just puts too much on a person and leaves them with no other choice."
"I just didn't know what to do anymore." I whispered. "I'd been feeling lost for so long and no matter what I did or who I talked to, I couldn't make that feeling go away. I just couldn't find any relief from it."
"I know." Trini said, pulling me into a hug. "But you'll be at peace here now." I pulled away from the hug and looked towards Kim who was now beginning to calm down slightly.
"What happens to Kimberly? Will I never see her again?"
"They let us pop down to see how our loved ones are doing from time to time whenever we want." Trini said. "It's part of the Heaven that is designed for us. For me, each of my loved ones has a book I can open to see what they are doing. Everyone is different but you'll be able to check in on her and everyone else when you need to."
"Is she going to be okay?" I whispered. Trini reached over and put a hand on my arm.
"Right now, she doesn't feel like it. She will be though. I was worried about Jason too in the beginning. I spent weeks watching him every moment of the day to make sure he was okay. But then, he started to do normal things again. He adjusted back to his life, learning how to do it without me one day at a time. Kim will need to do the same thing. The only difference is that she will have someone there for her that's been through it too."
"Will Jase be alright?" I asked, looking over at the former Red Ranger as tears slipped out from behind his sunglasses. Trini smiled, taking in the sight of her husband.
"Yeah. That big lug will be okay. He will just need sometime too. There's no time limit on grieving, Tommy. You'll have to deal with that here too. But the impact you've left on them with your life will help them." I gazed at Kimberly. The group had walked away a few yards, giving Kim some space next to my grave site.
"She'll never know how much I loved her." I whispered.
"You still have some time for that." She said, "We all get one big gesture before we cross over. Make it count. I'll be waiting for you over there."
"You're not staying?" I asked, confused. She shook her head.
"No. There's a few more people who are waiting to see you over there. I'll be waiting for them when you're ready. It's going to be okay, Tommy." Trini gave me a quick hug before walking behind me. I watched as she disappeared into a small glow of white light. Turning back towards Kim, I thought about what Trini said. A grand gesture. What exactly did that mean? How was I going to show Kim I loved her when she could hear or see me? I couldn't even touch her. As I gazed at her, I thought about every moment I had spent with her. The first time we spoke, our first kiss, every night we laid together in her bed as I held her. I could still feel her skin against my fingertips and smell the sweet vanilla scent of her shampoo. Any heaven that God designed for me was nothing in comparison to being with her. How was I supposed to summon something to let her know that I loved her?
Above my head, I heard a sudden loud screech of a bird. Kim and I both looked up at the sound as I saw that it was a white kind of bird. It flapped its wings, flying in a circle high above us for a moment before slowly heading towards the Earth. I watched in amazement as a white falcon landed on the top of the casket, its white and black patterned feathers coming to rest as it closed its wings. It was only a foot or so away from Kim who froze. The bird glanced from her to me, giving a slight nod.
"Oh my god." Kim whispered, clutching her chest. The falcon didn't move, staring contently at Kimberly. Slowly, she reached a hand out towards the bird. He didn't move as her fingertips touched the top of his head. It leaned into her touch, closing its eyes.
"Kimberly, I love you with every fiber of my being." I said, knowing she couldn't hear me. "Please don't give up and please don't forget to remember me." Kim paused and turned, looking right in the direction I was standing.
"Are you here, Tommy?" She whispered, looking back over at the falcon. "Is this you trying to tell me something?" A tear slid down her face as she stroked the falcon again. He sat up straight, opened its wings and took off into the sky. As he did, a feather floated down from the sky. She reached up and grabbed it before it headed to the ground. Glancing down at it, she let out a little whimper. I looked down as well, seeing that on the widest part of the feather, there was a black part of the pattern that resembled that of a perfectly shaped heart. "I love you too, Tommy." She whispered.
Suddenly, a white light began to surround me. I watched Kimberly through it the best I could as it grew brighter. As the light enveloped me, I noticed that the sadness in my chest began to fade. It was replaced with warmth and a peaceful sensation as if I had just stepped into a warm bath free of worries. I looked at Kimberly one last time before I was unable to see anything else. I closed my eyes, burning her image into my mind.
"How do you feel?" Trini's voice asked a moment later. I opened my eyes and saw that she was standing in front of me again. Only this time, we weren't standing in the cemetery. Instead, we were inside of a dark room.
"Better. She heard me." I said, smiling at Trini.
"I knew she would." She said.
"Where are we?" I asked, trying to look around. I only saw darkness though.
"This is the Heaven that has been designed for you. I think you're going to like it." She said. As she spoke, light appeared and I found that I was standing in the middle of the Command Center with her, a place I hadn't been in in well over twenty years.
"The Command Center?" I asked, looking around. She nodded, smiling as she leaned against the control panel. It looked just like the one we were practically living in as teenagers.
"Yes. And you have some company." She turned and glanced up to her right. To my amazement, I saw that Zordon was nestled in his tube like he was when we were kids. And next to his tube was Alpha, the little robot that was a staple of my youth.
"I don't understand." I said, shaking my head. Trini stood up and walked over towards me. "Wouldn't my heaven be something to do with school or a dojo?"
"Our heavens are made based on the time of our lives where we were the happiest and felt the most accomplished. It's no mystery as to what yours ended up being. You've created a legacy for yourself, Tommy. You have saved so many people time and time again, wore the armor of a true hero without question, and did it without batting an eye. The legacy of the good you've done for others and how you lived with forever be the stories told about you, not the fears you left behind. Your legacy will forever be that you were Tommy Oliver, the greatest Power Ranger of all time." Trini said. "Besides, I think you'll find the Viewing Globe will be very useful while you're waiting."
"Waiting for what?" I asked.
"Kimberly." She said, grinning. She started walking towards the door.
"What do I do now?" I called out.
"C'mon, Tommy." She replied. "You'll think of something. I mean, once a ranger, always a ranger."