A/N: Pansy arrives at the Order's headquarters.
Quick disclaimer: I am going to introduce A LOT of side characters and background stories in the next couple of chapters, so buckle up and get ready to feel just as overwhelmed as Pansy probably did.
TW: the usual swearing and one very brief mention of suicide.
ooo
In normal day to day life, ten days could pass in the blink of an eye.
What Pansy hadn't known, was that if you removed all of your usual comforts and stripped your life of all its pleasures and distractions, time would come to a near halt, where slowly ticking seconds would turn into hours, and minutes into days.
The past ten days had been the longest she had ever had to endure, feeling like she was trying to swim across a lake of thick, viscous syrup without drowning, desperately flapping her arms and legs, but never moving forward. It had been slow and painful; threatening to pull her under and suffocate her, with no end in sight.
After saying goodbye to Harry on day one, the Weasley twin had taken her to a small piece of woodland where they had set up camp in an old tent. It hadn't been the best of locations, as the heavy November rain had turned the leaf-littered forest floor into a squelching mire of mud; but at least the tent was magical, and while it carried a faint smell of wet dog and cooked cabbage, its insulation spells and extension charms had been good, offering them a warm and dry shelter from the increasingly gloomy weather outside.
The red-haired wizard hadn't talked much during their time together, but the silence had never been uncomfortable. He had radiated warmth and kindness, not necessarily directed at Pansy, but it had still comforted her, maybe even intrigued her. In her world, being kind was a sign of weakness, something you would be taunted for, and yet here was a man who was strong and brave and could easily finish her off with a small flick of his wand, but still found the strength to smile and be positive, and even crack a couple of jokes here and there. It had baffled her to say the least, and she couldn't help but grow hopeful for what lay ahead.
Her optimism, however, was snuffed out quickly, when the kind red-head was replaced by a scruffy looking man with shaggy hair and beady brown eyes, who smelled unpleasantly of stale whisky and tobacco and didn't even try to hide the fact that he was here against his will.
From there on Pansy had been pushed from one moody person to another, all of them punishing her with glum silences and condescending looks; each of the locations they had taken her to, being worse than the one before, until she truly felt like she couldn't take much more.
Today was day ten.
She had spent the past twenty-four hours alongside a grumpy, middle-aged woman, with short black hair and square chin, in the smallest, most tattered old tent that one could imagine. She wasn't entirely sure where they had set camp, but it had definitely been in the northern part of the country, where the icy wind had whipped the harsh rain and sleet against the tent's canvas as if it was personally trying to punish Pansy.
Of all the places she had been to during the past ten days, this had been the worst one, and she was sure that it had been one last, cruel attempt of the Order to push her to a breaking point, before they would finally take her to Headquarters.
The woman who had accompanied her had barely spoken; stoically sitting at the entrance of the tent and keeping watch. Every now again she would reach into the pocket of her thick, heavy coat and pull bits of food out, that she threw unceremoniously towards Pansy to eat.
She had felt like she was losing her mind as the freezing cold crept under her skin and into her bones, with nothing for her to do in order to distract herself. All she had done was sit there, fingers twitching and knees bouncing, itching to jump up and tear the whole place apart.
She hated to admit it, but she had been close to losing her temper and yelling at the witch, begging her to at least say something, anything. She had been so depraved of social contact, she would have even appreciated a well-aimed insult, or a snide remark.
So, when the woman finally got up and announced that it had been time to pack, Pansy was hit with such an overwhelming wave of relief that she had nearly cried.
Scrambling up in an instant, she had got to work, helping to take down the tent with such enthusiasm that she hadn't even noticed the harsh rain that had seeped through her clothes and soaked her skin.
Once they had packed, they had apparated several times, - another precaution in case they were being followed, before they had finally landed on the doorstep of a tall, Victorian style townhouse.
Pansy had no idea where they were, but it didn't matter to her anyway. They could be in Timbuktu for all she cared, just as long as she would get to stay in an actual building, with walls and light and hopefully a bed.
Her whole body was trembling with a mixture of anticipation, fear and exhaustion as the door creaked open and she stepped into a small, dingy looking corridor. With a racing heart she followed the woman down the hall until they came to a halt in front of a couple of steps that lead into a large room, a communal area of sorts.
Pansy held her breath as she tried to get a glimpse of the room, the steady hum of low voices and soft pattering of feet on carpet flooring making her feel anxious.
The woman in front of her swung around to face her, the sudden movement causing Pansy to flinch and ready herself for an attack, before she spotted the witch's expression, her features looking softer and less bitter than before, almost welcoming.
"Well." She said, her low voice rumbling heavily in her chest. "You've made it. Good on you." She offered Pansy something that could almost pass as a smile, before she turned back around and stepped into the busy hall. "Stay here. I'll get someone to come and show you to your room."
Pansy nodded and watched as the woman walked across the communal area and disappeared down another corridor on the opposite side; her arms wrapping tightly around her trembling frame as she took a tentative step out of the corridor and cast a nervous look around.
The spacious room was mildly reminiscent of the house common rooms at Hogwarts, and was divided into several seating areas with a wild mix of scruffy sofas, tattered arm chairs and wobbly coffee tables of different styles and colours; all thrown together in a rather distasteful, yet somehow cosy manner.
At the far end of the hall, a low fire was crackling happily in a large stone hearth, decorated with ornate tiles and an intricately woven iron grid along the bottom.
Ignoring the woman's instructions, Pansy carefully began to make her way across the room towards the fireplace, hoping that she would be able to warm up her aching limbs, when a familiar voice caused her to stop in her tracks.
"Look who's finally joined the party" the soft baritone chimed behind her. "Pansy fucking Parkinson. Took you long enough."
She whirled around to look at a tall wizard with a slender, yet well-defined physique; his soft-brown hair a wild mess of curls, confidentially swept back apart from a few loose strands that were playfully falling into his face and accentuating his masculine features.
Pansy's heart dropped to the floor, a sharp gasp emptying her lungs as she gaped dumbfoundedly at no other than one, Theodore Nott.
From what she had heard, the brunette ex-Slytherin had taken his own life almost two years ago after his sister was killed by his own father. The tragedy of it all had shaken Pansy to the core, planting the seed that would later turn into a plan to escape her own family. To see him standing in front of her now, alive and well, was overwhelmingly exhilarating and heart-breaking at the same time.
"Th..Theo." She croaked, her voice threatening to break. "But you're – "
"Dead?" The wizard's hazel-blue eyes glittered with amusement. "Not quite."
He stepped closer, his lips drawn into a confident smirk. "I mean, in a manner of speaking I ended my life as an aspiring Death Eater in order to come here, but no, I didn't die."
Pansy felt like she had just seen a ghost, her heart and mind racing with each other, as she tried to take in the rather shocking information.
"Did come pretty close at one point, though." The handsome wizard added, pointing at a thick, jagged scar that started just below his left ear and ran all the way down the side of his neck towards his collarbone, where it disappeared into the neckline of his jumper.
Pansy's hand flew up to her mouth as she stared at the ugly mark. "What happened?" she breathed, the horrific view sending a cold shiver down her spine.
"Had a little run in with one of Greyback's cronies last year." He shrugged, seemingly unfazed by the shocked expression on Pansy's face. "I was on a secret mission for the Order and was stupid enough to go out on a full moon."
"Gr...Greyback?" Pansy stuttered. "But, you're not…"
She instantly felt the air between them shift; a cold sense of unease rushing though her veins as Theo's mouth split into a devilish grin, exposing a row of sharp, white teeth, that were dangerously glinting in the low light of the dimly lit room.
"And what if I am?" His voice had turned low and gravelly, accompanied by a hungry glint in his eyes that made Pansy's stomach clench with fear.
"Scared I might have a nibble?" He growled, slowly inching closer. "I bet you'd taste delicious."
"N..no… I, mean, I didn't…I just… " Pansy stuttered.
Theo barked out a laugh, his eyes glinting with mirth as he shook his head. "Don't worry, Parkinson." He said, voice quivering with suppressed laughter. "I only bite if you ask me to." He licked his lips theatrically and wiggled his eyebrows at her.
Pansy clicked her tongue and shot him a reprehensive glare, annoyed with herself for getting so scared of her old school friend and slightly embarrassed for the way she had reacted.
"For Merlin's sake, Theo." A soft voice sounded from behind the brunette. "Will you stop intimidating our new arrivals?"
A tall man with honey-coloured hair stepped up behind Theo and wrapped a pair of strong arms around the wizard's slender torso, his soft-blue eyes fixing Pansy with a welcoming gaze.
"I'm sorry about that. He can be a right pain in the arse sometimes."
Theo let himself sink deeper into the man's embrace, a soft moan falling from his lips. "It's Pansy, Neville." He purred, winkling playfully at Pansy. "She knows I'm only joking."
"You're incorrigible." Neville huffed and let go of the brunette, offering Pansy an apologetic smile. "Theo can get a bit rambunctious during the week leading up to a full moon; you know, hormones and all that, but he doesn't mean any harm. He should know better though," he added, casting the other wizard a disapproving look. "Seeing as you've probably had a rough few days and must be exhausted."
He thrust his hand towards her and offered her a friendly smile.
"Welcome to the Hive."
"Hive?" Pansy asked, accepting Neville's handshake with trembling fingers. His hand was strong and warm and wrapped around her icy fingers in a comforting firmness that instantly made her feel welcome.
"That's what we call this place." Neville explained. "It's our headquarters."
"Yeah, you know, always busy, always buzzing, people swarming in an out all day…" Theo drawled, his eyes still boring into hers. "Like a bee hive."
"Oh." Pansy muttered, unsure of what to say. Something about the way Theo looked at her made her feel uncomfortable and she had to try hard not to squirm under his heavy gaze. She shifted nervously from one foot to the other, trying to think of an excuse to get away, when Neville came to her rescue and thrust his elbow into the wizard's ribs, causing him to jump and finally break eye-contact with her.
"Ow!" Theo yelped, shooting the man beside him an angry glare. "Bloody hell, Neville. What the fuck was that for?"
"You're doing that intense glare thing again." The taller wizard chided. "Just stop it, ok? You're scaring her."
"But I can't help it." Theo whined. "She smells delicious."
Pansy could feel her cheeks grow hot and wrapped her arms tighter around her waist, suddenly becoming very aware of how minimal her personal grooming regime had been over the past ten days. 'Delicious' was certainly not the word she would have used to describe it.
"Gods, you're such a creep." Neville huffed, rolling his eyes at Theo.
"Yeah, and we both know you love it." Theo breathed, his voice turning into a low, sultry rumble as he leaned in to whisper into the blonde's ear.
Neville let out a sharp gasp, followed by an audible gulp, and for a second he looked torn between wanting to punch Theo and longing to pull him in for a passionate kiss. He slowly melted towards the brunette, pulled by an invisible force, until his lips nearly touched his cheek. It only took a second, however, before he shook his head sternly in an attempt to focus his mind, and pushed Theo away.
"Sorry," he rasped, clearing his throat nosily. "Uhm, as I said. The week before a full moon always makes him go a bit loopy."
"How close are we to the full moon?" Pansy asked, her stomach twisting with anxiety.
"Next one's Monday night." Theo said, winking at her playfully. "Two days from now."
"Don't worry," Neville interjected. "You'll learn to keep up with the moon calendar soon enough. Rule number one: Don't get between Theo and Lavender if we're nearing a full moon. They can get a bit," he hesitated. "…bitey."
"Oi, I'm nowhere near as bad as that annoying bint." Theo piped up. "Honestly, the woman makes my blood boil."
"See what I mean?" Neville rolled his eyes in mock exasperation.
Pansy shook her head, feeling utterly confused. "Uhm, who-?"
"Lavender Brown." Theo explained. "She's a lycanthrope too; and a darn right pain in my backside to boot."
Pansy's eyes grew wide as she gaped at the brown-haired wizard. She had heard that the former Gryffindor had been attacked by Fenrir Greyback during the Battle of Hogwarts, but didn't think the girl had made it out alive. For some reason she had always assumed that she was killed, never even considering that she might have turned instead.
"Anyway," Theo carried on, pulling her out of her thoughts, "Neville's managed to grow wolfsbane at one of our Safe Houses and we have a couple of people here that know how to brew the potion. We take it every month, so we usually don't cause too much trouble." He smirked. "That is, I don't cause any trouble. Lavender on the other hand… let's just say she doesn't need a full moon to get on everyone's nerves."
"She's really not that bad." Neville sighed wearily. "You should have seen what she was like back in school. She's actually improved quite a lot since the attack."
Theo snorted. "Yeah, she's a real pleasure to be around" he drawled, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Her and that demon child of hers."
"Oh, come on!" Neville laughed. "We both know you love Rosie"
"Do not." Theo huffed.
"Yeah, you do. And Roxy too"
Pansy stared at the two men, mouth slightly agape and eyes wide as dinner plates, as she tried to take it all in. Her mind was racing, trying to process all the information she had just received, wondering what to react to first.
She was just about to ask who in Merlin's name Rosie and Roxy were, when Neville let out a surprised grunt and shoved his hand into his pocket to pull out a big, round galleon that was glowing brightly with magic. Casting a quick glance at it, he nodded, before letting it fall back into the depths of his trousers.
"Harry is calling a meeting." He said to Theo, before looking at Pansy. "I'm afraid that concludes our little catching up session. You won't be able to join any meetings until you've been interrogated and officially made a member of the Order."
He offered her an apologetic smile, before turning around to address the rest of the room.
"Alright, listen up everyone!" He yelled, causing the smatterings of quiet conversations across the room to die out as people raised their heads to look at him. "Harry is on his way back and wants a meeting, so I want everyone downstairs in five, ok?" A jumble of murmurs and groans broke out as everyone began to make their way towards the corridor on the opposite wall.
"Daphne." Neville called, looking at a blonde woman that was sitting in an armchair to their left, her back turned towards them as she gathered up her belongings and readied herself to leave.
"Yes?" She turned around, eyeing Neville with polite interest.
Shock drew all the oxygen out of Pansy's lungs as she recognised the witch as her old friend from school, her heart filling with a flutter of warm excitement as the witch's piercing-blue eyes met with hers and her rosy lips split into a wide, welcoming grin.
"Could you show Pansy to the room she'll be staying in?" Neville asked. "She'll probably want to freshen up and get some rest before dinner."
"Sure." Daphne nodded, pushing herself off the chair and making her way towards them.
Pansy's excitement quickly turned into surprise when her gaze fell upon the huge baby bump that was protruding from the witch's stomach, causing her to walk in a slow and awkward waddle.
Swallowing down a renewed wave of questions, she arranged her features into an expression of polite indifference and walked over to meet Daphne in the middle of the room, keeping her gaze firmly trained on her face to avoid staring at her bump. Last time she had seen the beautiful blonde, she hadn't even been dating anyone and now she was pregnant al of a sudden? Pansy let out a small huff. It looked like they had a lot of catching up to do, but right now was not the time.
She followed her old friend as she led her across the communal area and down the second corridor, before they turned right at the first door, which led into a narrow staircase.
"What is this place?" Pansy asked, nervously looking around.
"It used to be an old muggle hotel." Daphne explained. "It was closed down years ago, so the Order secretly bought it from the former muggle owners." She began ascending the steep stairs. "Three years and a million defensive spells later, and we've got ourselves the perfect location for headquarters. It has everything we need; lots of bedrooms, a big communal area, a huge dining area with a spacious kitchen. It's perfect, really."
Pansy nodded. She couldn't disagree that a hotel made for decent accommodation if you were trying to house a large number of people. Chewing her lip pensively, she wondered just how many members the Order currently had, and how many of them were staying in this place.
Too lost in thought, she didn't realise that Daphne had stopped about halfway up the stairs to catch her breath, and nearly bumped into her. She let out a surprised yelp and came to a scattering halt, blinking confusedly at the breathless witch.
"You have to excuse me." Daphne panted. "These steps are getting harder to climb every day." She smiled at Pansy, and addressed the elephant in the room by placing a soothing hand on her protruding belly.
"Yeah." Pansy scoffed. "And who managed to knock you up?"
She flinched at the harshness in her own voice, a dull feeling of guilt spreading in her stomach as she watched the smile wash off the witch's face. She knew the woman didn't deserve it, but the blatant rudeness was a well-practiced defence mechanism; a necessity when you grew up in a cruel and unloving family, where snide comments and unkind remarks like this were part of the daily routine. For some reason Daphne's chirpy demeanour had made Pansy feel vulnerable and she didn't have the energy to put in the effort and be friendly right now. All she wanted was to go to her room and have some rest.
She watched as the blonde's posture stiffened slightly and her angelical features grew stony.
"I'm sorry." Pansy muttered, scrunching up her face with contrition. "It's none of my business anyway."
"It's was my husband's." Daphne answered coolly, her soft lips pulling into an unimpressed pout.
Pansy's eyebrows snatched up as she looked at the witch in wide surprise. "I didn't know you were married." She half-whispered, biting her lip as another wave of guilt washed over her.
"Yes, you might remember him from school." Daphne confirmed. "Dean Thomas?" She added, a shadow of a smile gracing her lips as she spoke his name.
A brief memory of a handsome teenage boy with tight, black curls, big chocolate eyes and smooth, espresso skin flitted across Pansy's inner eye and she nodded. "Yeah, I remember."
"He is away doing some work for the Order at the moment, but I'm sure he'll be back soon." The witch let out a shaky sigh as her eyes began to shimmer brightly in the low light.
Pansy gave the witch a sympathetic half-smile, her heart clenching painfully as she spotted the prominent worry line that had formed between the woman's perfectly shaped eyebrows, etched deep into her otherwise impeccable skin. She wondered what it must feel like to have someone you love so much and want to spend the rest of your life with, in a time where living was a privilege and every goodbye could be the last. A cold shudder coursed through her veins as a sudden flush of adoration for the witch bloomed in her chest. Her bravery was admirable.
"Anyway." Daphne continued, her voice quivering slightly as she waved a hand and put on a brave smile. "Let's get you upstairs. We'll have plenty of time to catch up later."
They finished climbing the stairs in silence and carried on down a long corridor with multiple doors on each side, the old wooden floor creaking nosily under the dusty green carpet as they walked.
"Right, this is it." Daphne stopped in front of a door near the end of the hallway and opened it with a flick of her wand.
Pansy took a tentative step inside her new home, looking around it with nervous eyes. The medium sized room had two beds, one of them a big double, and the other one a single bed.
"You'll be sharing with Ginny and Luna for the moment, but they'll be downstairs for the meeting, so you should have some time to shower and rest before you meet them." Daphne announced. "There is an ensuite bathroom" she gestured towards a door to the left. "And your bag is already here too." She pointed at an expensive looking suitcase that was sat atop the single bed below the window on the opposite wall.
Pansy gasped and rushed over to inspect her bag, chest filling with relief at the thought of finally being able to wear her own clothes again.
"Most of your stuff should still be in there." Daphne said, "Although they might have taken a couple of things."
"What?" Pansy's head whirled around to gape at her friend. "Why would they take my stuff?"
The sandy-haired witch shrugged "Just a precaution." She explained. "They only remove stuff that looks a bit dodgy. They took my contraceptive potion when I first arrived here, because it could have been a well disguised poison." Her sapphire eyes sparkled with amusement. "It's how I ended up like this." She pointed at her big bump.
Pansy let out a heavy sigh, but bit back her retort. She understood why the Order would confiscate any sketchy objects. All their precautions and safety measures would make little sense if they let people bring weapons and poisons into this place.
"My wand?" she asked, knowing it wouldn't be in her bag.
"You'll get that back once you've been questioned and accepted into the Order."
Pansy nodded to indicate that she understood, a nervous knot forming in her stomach at the thought of the impending interrogation.
"Right." Daphne sighed, "I better go and join the meeting. I can bring you some food up later if you're too exhausted to come downstairs, but if you feel up to it at all, I would recommend you try and join us for dinner. People get suspicious if you keep to yourself too much, especially when you're new."
Pansy swallowed thickly. The thought of having to attend a dinner with a bunch of strangers made her feel sick, and she had to try hard to push down the new wave of anxiety that threatened to overwhelm her. She knew it was important to make a good first impression. If she wanted to make this work for her, she needed people to like, and eventually trust her.
Letting out a deep, steadying breath, she gathered all her courage and nodded. "I'll come downstairs."
"Good." Daphne beamed at her. "Someone will let you know when dinner is ready."
She hesitated for a moment, teeth gnawing at her bottom lip and hands twitching at her side, before she suddenly slung her arms around Pansy's shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug.
"I'm so glad you're here." She breathed; voice thick with emotion. "Everything will be better now. I promise." She added, before she let go and hurried out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her.
Pansy stood stunned for a moment, her heart pounding heavily against her chest as she tried to work through her emotions. She could feel a thick lump form at the back of her throat, blocking her airways and making it impossible to breathe.
Lips trembling, she began to blink rapidly as her eyes burned with unshed tears, willing them to subside before they could spill over and stain her porcelain cheeks.
She didn't even know why she was getting all worked up now. She had finally made it. What was there to cry about?
Letting out a shuddering gasp, she turned away from the door and began to unpack her things, ignoring the thundering storm of emotions that was raging in her head.
She had never been a crier, and she sure as hell wouldn't turn into one now. She was just exhausted. That's all.
With a stubborn shake of her head, she locked all her feelings into a small box and pushed it far into the back of her mind, before grabbing a towel and some fresh clothes and making her way towards the bathroom.
"Things will look better once you've had a shower and some sleep." She murmured to herself, turning the shower to the hottest setting and inhaling the sweet steam that immediately filled the room. "I'm sure of it."