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"Remind me why we're doing this again?"
A round of grins met Michelangelo's question, each turning to look over their shoulder at the dour expression under the orange mask, "The explanation is simple," Leo answered with a fond twinkle in navy blue eyes "during our day off from training the Ancient One told Raph about a cave that apparently holds priceless treasure. Raph then told Don and convinced him to go exploring."
"Right, I get that part," Mikey nodded shrugging the spelunking gear further up his shoulders "but what does it have to do with you and me? Why am I, specifically, here?"
"I'll answer that one," Raphael grumbled "Master Splinter found out and said that we needed ta have someone responsible along. I told him we didn't need a babysitter, but then Donny-!"
"I said that I agreed, and if I was going to be dragged into exploring a possibly dangerous cave, I'd rather we have Leo along!" Don snapped, his face a fierce pout.
Raphael rolled his eyes, "Like I can't take care of myself?"
"Raphie," Don stated, with a lofty tone "while I have no doubt that you have the skills to get us out of danger, the problem is you are far too willing to jump head first into danger! At least with Leo as backup we have a better chance of surviving whatever may be guarding the treasure!"
"What makes you think there's something guarding the treasure, if there even is treasure, that is?" Leonardo asked, raising one brow ridge in curiosity.
"Duh, video game logic," Mikey scoffed "if there is treasure to be found, then you can bet that something is guarding it!"
Donny sighed, holding his flashlight up to peruse the tunnel they were currently traversing, "Exactly, and considering the way our luck runs, it's bound to be ugly."
"An excellent, if not terrifying point, but," suddenly the orange clad turtle stopped while dramatically waving his arms "What. Am I. Doing here?!"
"Can't have an adventure without our favorite monster bait," Raphael replied grinning wolfishly.
"That's it, I'm leaving!"
However, Mikey's retreat was stopped by three strong hands grabbing the tails of his mask, "Mikey, you'll get lost before you even make it back up to the surface, besides," Leonardo stated slinging an arm around the orange turtle "I wanted you to come along so we can have some brother time. Everything has been so crazy lately, I felt like hanging with my team. Can't do that if someone is missing."
"Well, when you put it that way," Michelangelo huffed in defeat, "fi-ine! I'll go with you, but I reserve the right to say I told you so if anything bad happens!"
"That's the spirit," Leo laughed, pulling his baby brother further along the path, "now let's go find that treasure!"
……
Leonardo regarded his brothers as they walked, his keen eyes assessing, and noting anything that might need to be addressed later. They certainly appeared to be having fun, which was a blessing. The big brother in him smiled at their glee as they bickered and joked. Even Michelangelo had loosened up, forgetting his fears and basking in the affection that the brothers shared. Raphael had an arm slung around Mikey's shoulders, giving the prankster a fond noogie, his features soft even as he growled in supposed irritation. Donatello threw in sporadic commentary, a happy grin stretching his mouth as he tapped away on some device, probably mapping the cave no doubt. Laughter echoed down the corridor of the tunnel, and the world was at peace.
It was moments like this that made Leo breathe a small prayer of gratitude. His brothers were happy, healthy and most importantly, safe. And they would stay that way as long as he had anything to say. He had determined in his heart a long time ago, that his life meant nothing when placed next to the value of his brothers. He would defend them heart, soul, and body. Even if he were torn to pieces, he would pick up what remained of himself, and stand between the raging storm and his siblings. He couldn't fail them ever again.
The thought prompted a frown to mar the happy features.
Memories of past failures pricked at the eldest turtle's heart, making it sink with a depressive guilt. Leonardo batted those feelings away, not wishing to spiral when he was with his brothers and enjoying an innocent adventure. It wasn't that easy though, a subtle paranoia crept in, causing him to notice all the potential dangers of the cave; his skin prickled with apprehension. Leo squelched that too. He was in control, he had everything under control. No one would hurt his brothers and they would enjoy a wonderful day exploring the cave together.
Taking a deep breath, the blue clad terrapin forced the negative feelings into a small corner of his brain, then pasted on his most dazzling smile. "Alright," he murmured to himself "let's go find that treasure."
"Not so fast, young one,"
The team froze, and Leo looked up, eyes widening as a translucent specter materialized in the gloom.
It illuminated the corridor where they stood, tendrils of glowing jade mist floating around a feminine figure. Soundless feet walked towards the dumbfounded group, leaving no mark in the dirt. The facial features were vague, but one thing they could see without any trouble were the piercing white eyes. They shone with an inner fire, fierce and wild, that caught a person's gaze and held it captive.
"You have entered the cave of trials," the voice was soft, whispering over and around the stalagmites of the cave but still discernible "you, who trespass here, must be tested."
"Oh, shell," Michelangelo moaned, "I told you guys something bad was gonna happen!"
"Shut up, Mikey!" Hissed Raph and Don in unison. Their leader, however, addressed the spirit directly.
"We didn't come to be tested," Leo stated, raising his hands to show they were peaceful "we only wanted to explore the cave and appreciate its beauty. We apologize for trespassing, and we'll leave immediately."
"No, you cannot leave until you are tested." The spirit rasped, eyes flashing lightening, "You have passed the point of no return, you must conquer the trials to gain your freedom."
The leader groaned, of course the Ancient One would send them into a mystical cave. Somehow it didn't feel like an accident. "Fine," Leo breathed, "how do we conquer these trials?"
"To begin you must first lose something you hold dear," the spirit began.
Leonardo growled as he swiftly placed himself between the spirit and his brothers. His swords rang as they were pulled from their sheaths, and the blue turtle adopted a defensive stance. "Don't even think about touching them," he snarled.
The spirit smiled, her voice lilting as it mocked him "I wasn't speaking about your brothers, young one."
Leonardo gripped the hilts of his swords, confusion washing over him even as he almost swayed with intense relief "Then what were you talking about?"
The spirit rose, levitating towards the ceiling as the spectral mist increased in volume filling the corridor. Her voice changed, the whispered words now a tone deep and ominous.
"Mighty warrior who rode the stars, conquered enemies in lands afar.
Duels won with honor bound, wisdom gained and with compassion crowned.
A leader you are shown to be, infused with strength and integrity.
But now for tests for you to suffer, will you endure or die with your brothers?
Your greatest strength will I steal, a toll to pay for this dark deal,
Reclaim it only if victory you find, the tasks won and your fears behind."
Leonardo trembled, terror snaking up his spine and turning his guts to ice, but his long practiced focus smothered the fear. He could handle this, he would protect his family and conquer this. She wants to put him through a series of tests, huh? And she obviously meant to coerce him into going along by threatening his brothers. Fine, he'd do it and show her not to mess with a mutant ninja turtle. However, while he was concerned enough over the safety of his team, he couldn't deny that a part of her rhyme filled him with apprehension.
She would steal his greatest strength? What did she mean? Would she cripple him? No, that didn't make sense, then he wouldn't be able to be tested. Would she take his swords? That didn't add up either, as he was ninja and didn't need his blades to be dangerous. So, what was she talking about when she said she'd take his greatest strength? Leo ached to take his brothers out of this latest mess, and end what had been a wonderful day in front of the fireplace in the Ancient One's home. However, he knew he didn't have a choice. It was either endure this cave's tests and save his brothers, or they'll be trapped down there for the rest of their lives.
Which, considering they were dealing with a mystical spirit, might not be for much longer.
Sheathing his swords, Leonardo gave his brothers one long look. He memorized their faces, noting the fear and worry lining their features. They were worth anything this spirit could dish out. He had no reason to fear. Whatever she took, he knew he'd make it through as long as he had his team. "Fine," he conceded in a tone more confident than he felt, "let's get this over with."
"Dude, are you sure?" Michelangelo's question shook, fear making each syllable tremble.
"You heard her," Leo nodded "none of us are getting out of here until we do what she wants."
"But…" Mikey gripped his eldest brother's arm, eyes pleading with him, terror over what might be taken overflowing from his baby blue's.
"It's going to be alright," Leonardo soothed, "I trust you and I trust our training, we handle whatever this cave throws at us."
"Leo, I'm…I'm scared," Mikey insisted, his tone uncharacteristically somber, "I have a bad feeling about this."
The three brothers sucked in surprised breaths, as Mikey was rarely so serious. Even when scared he was theatrical as was his way of coping. When he was worried enough that his humor disappeared, that was a giant red flag to the family. However, Leonardo didn't have the luxury to listen to the warning his baby brother was giving. Pulling the youngest in for a hug, the leader sighed, "I believe you Mikey, and I'm worried too, but I have to do this. I'm going to protect you guys, no matter what."
"But who's going to protect you?"
The question tore at Leo's heart, the meek tone ill suited to the flamboyant turtle who used it. "You will," he asserted softly, "with you three backing me up, I can overcome anything."
Mikey lay in his brothers arms quietly, clutching the sturdy form tightly. Donatello and Raphael joined him, lending their strength to the disconsolate turtle. "Fearless is right," the red turtle rumbled softly "we got this, we've been through worse."
"Exactly," Don nodded, "we can do this, together."
Giving Mikey one last squeeze, Leo released his siblings then approached the spirit. "Shall we?"
The spirit smiled approvingly before lifting her arms and intoning one last rhyme.
"Let the dice now be cast, your strength be mine till at last,
Victorious over tests ahead, you walk free from death and the dead."
"Well, that's cheery," Don sighed, his intelligent gaze turning worriedly to his elder brother.
The blue ninja squared his shoulders, trying for all he was worth to appear strong for his siblings, and impart confidence to them. But as the spirit drew closer, he couldn't suppress the slightest shiver of apprehension. Slender hands cupped his face and navy blue eyes glowed as she connected their spirits. Leo released a strangled cry, his muscles quivering in shock and revulsion as he felt the spirit rummaging through his mind.
"Leo!" Raph bellowed, charging forward to grasp his leader's shoulder, only to be repelled by the spirit.
"Raph!" Mikey and Don cried as their brother hit the opposite wall of the corridor, but they didn't have time to assist Raphael as the spirit spoke.
"How interesting," she murmured "So many wonderful things I could take. Shall I steal your courage? No, you fear as deeply as your brothers, but you have tamed it. Your honor? No, that is too deeply ingrained, you would die from the lack of it."
The spirit hummed in thought, pondering deeply her choice even as Leonardo convulsed in her grip, his body unconsciously reacting to the touch. Suddenly, the white eyes flashed, "Yes, that is what I'll take," she decided with a feral grin "all of your great gifts and strengths are tied together with one skill you have honed to a fine edge from the time of childhood. Your ability to Control, all your fear, anxiety and those dark thought's that torment you, you hold it all back behind mighty floodgates of control; but no longer."
Leonardo felt a searing pain stab into his brain down to his very soul. A whine built in the bottom of his throat until it became a wail of agony whistling between clenched teeth. The three turtles watched, mouths hanging in horror, the light of the spirit increasing until it blinded them in its intensity. As the light grew, so did the volume of Leonardo's screams, they echoed down the corridor and resonated around the huddled brothers; Mikey openly sobbing and plugging his ears at the sound of his brother's torment.
Finally it ended, the blue turtle's knees buckling as the spirit let him go. Raphael was at Leo's side in an instant, bracing his eldest sibling against his plastron and shooting his fiercest glare at the specter. "So what now?" He snarled, "Ya gonna just leave us here?"
"The first of the challenges lay ahead," the voice stated, mist retreating down the corridor, and the light diminishing "approach the door and read the rhyme, there you will begin the first of four trials."
"Why do I feel like Scrooge?" Mikey whined, "and it's not even christmas, why does stuff like this always happen to us?"
"Turtle luck runnin' true ta form," Raphael grumbled before looking down to his barely conscious leader, "ya ok, Fearless?"
Leo stirred at the tender tone on his immediate younger brother, groaning in pain, "Ugh, I have one shell of a headache," he moaned, "I hate headaches…"
Eyes widened all around, including Leo, as it was a well known fact that the leader rarely ever complained. Much less admitted he was in pain. "Uh," Don stammered before reaching into his bag, "here, I usually have some Tylenol on me just in case."
"No thanks," Leo shook head, wincing at the movement even as he pushed his brother's hand away, "I don't need it,"
"Leo, you just got mind melded by a cave spirit," Don spluttered "if you have a headache then take a painkiller."
"I said I'm fine!" Leonardo snapped sharply, making Donny flinch. Immediately the eldest turtle reeled, his navy eyes filling with guilt and shock "I'm sorry, Don! I didn't mean to yell at you, I don't know where that came from."
"I think I do," the brainiac grimaced, "the spirit said she'd take your control, over your emotions and the thoughts running through your mind. I'm willing to bet that means it's going to be harder to control what you say and how you say it."
Three pairs of eyes blinked in concern, though one was widening with increasing horror as the realization of what that meant sunk in. Leo chewed his bottom lip as sudden anxiety hit his mind, and with nothing to hold it back, it ultimately spilled out of his mouth. "This is bad," he whimpered, "I can't go through the tests like this, I'll be a liability. I'm just going to fail everyone again, and make a mess of everything. I always make everything worse. Why did I think I could do this and protect everyone?!"
"Leo, you're ok, we're going to be fine!" Donny was terrified, his eldest brother, the reliable, stalwart leader who got them through so many impossible battles, was in full meltdown. It was something he'd never seen before, and certainly never wanted to see again.
"How can you say we're fine, when we're obviously not!" Leonardo cried, eyes welling with tears as he strained to pull air into his lungs "we're being held captive by a spirit with ability to take our strength away! Everything we've learned is moot if she can make us forget we know it!"
"But you still have your ninjutsu, bro," Mikey attempted, "she just messed with your ability to stay calm, or whatever."
"It's so much more serious than that," Leo groaned, a hand grasping his plastron as his vision began to grow dark at the edges, and his world spun, "without control I can't think correctly, and if I can't think correctly I can't focus, which means I'm dead in the water. I'll be a liability and you'll get hurt because I can't do my job as a leader! I have to be in control at all times, or else I'll make a mistake that could cost someone their life!"
The blue ninja's breath started coming in short ragged gasps, trembling hands clutching his head, "Oh God," he gasped, on the verge of hyperventilating, "we're going to die, I'm going to fail, I'm useless! I'm just a useless, pathetic, failure!"
"LEO!" Two rough hands grasped the leader's shoulders and gave him a firm shake, forcing the eldest to look up into fierce amber eyes.
Raphael squeezed his brother's shoulders, holding eye contact for several heartbeats until Leo's breaths evened out, "Yer fine, bro," he stated, tone unyielding in its confidence, "that freaky ghost may have taken yer ability to control….well, everything, but ya got us, remember?"
"You're right, of course you're right," Leo breathed in a stutter, although his eyes still looked haunted and glassy, "as long as we stay together we can do this. We have to."
"Exactly," Raph reassured, slowly releasing his brother and leaning back. "We just need ta get through the tests, then we can go home."
Leo grabbed at Raphael's hand before it pulled away completely, clutching it like a lifeline. The hothead allowed the contact, his eyes wide with shock at the force that his brother's hand shook. For a few moments, the two sat on the floor of the cave corridor, Leo grasping for the courage to continue, Raphael desperately trying to lend his strength to his elder brother. Finally, with one last tremulous breath, the blue turtle forced himself to release his sibling.
Stumbling to his feet, the leader looked down the long corridor, his feet shuffling with nervous energy "Right, so, down the tunnel we go."
Giving a heavy swallow, Leo started walking. Flicking out his flashlight, the beam of light bounced from walls, to ceiling to floor; giving evidence to the eldest's disconcertion. Don shared uneasy glances with his brothers, each nodding their agreement that they were already quite freaked out at the change in their leader.
………..
Raphael watched his brother carefully, his heart racing with fear. It had been crazy when the ghost first appeared, but then it messed with Leo and ever since, the guy hasn't been the same. The spirit said it took his ability to control himself away, Don didn't say much about what that meant, but it didn't take a genius to fill in the gaps. Going by Leonardo's meltdown, the guy was at best an extremely honest version of himself with zero filter. Perfect.
The red turtle shuddered. The image of Leo hyperventilating and muttering how he was useless, it was a little too raw for Raphael, which was saying something. For as long as he could remember, Raph had complained that Leo wasn't open enough with them. The way his oldest brother held himself apart, never speaking his true feelings or thoughts, irritated the hotheaded turtle. Raphael had even convinced himself that Leo did that because he thought he was better than everyone. In his heart, Raph knew that wasn't true, but he didn't want to face what was really going on.
Which, apparently, was that Leo thought himself a failure. Raphael shook his head in consternation. Body switching to autopilot, the red banded ninja blindly followed his brothers down the tunnel, considering these new revelations when he was brought to a halt when a high pitched screech broke the silence.
The shriek echoed down the corridor, and Raph found both he and Donny turning to look at Michelangelo. However, the orange turtle was completely unperturbed, and looked more confused than scared. "What the shell?" Raphael asked.
Mikey shrugged as he stammered a reply "It wasn't me! I mean, I'm offended you automatically assume that any girly scream made had to have been me, but this time it definitely wasn't!"
"Then who was it?" Don snickered, unconvinced.
Mikey leaned to the side, then his jaw dropped, "Maybe you should look behind you, dude,"
Donny and Raphael turned, and to say the red banded turtle was surprised would have been a massive understatement. Because, lo and behold, there stood his fearless leader blushing like mad. Strong hands covered his, now rosy, face and the blue turtle looked near to tears. "Uh, Leo?" Don asked, "you ok?"
"Please don't look at me," the leader's shoulders hunched, an unspoken need to hide verbalized, "this is so embarrassing."
"What happened?"
Leo shook his head at Raphael's question, denying them an answer. Mikey chuckled, walking up to place an arm around his big brother, "Aw, come on Leo, it's not that bad. I mean, I scream all the time, and I'm just fine."
"It's not the same," Leo whined, words muffled by his hands, "I'm supposed to be the leader, even Raphie mocks me by calling me 'fearless', and I'm not allowed to be weak…ever! You're allowed to be scared, I'm not!"
Silent shock met the blue turtle's words, and Raphael approached his elder, brow furrowed in confused worry "Leo, who told ya that, bro? Who said yer not allowed to be scared?"
Once again Leo shook his head, clamping his lips shut in a desperate bid to protect what secrets he wasn't spilling. It was hard enough that they had heard him scream, but now Raph was talking to him in a tone so gentle, it just confirmed what he already thought about himself. He really was pathetic.
"Leo, bro, look at me," Raphael insisted, his heart clenching at the words his brother said.
The pressure inside his heart bubbled over, and Leo crouched down, hunching his shoulders further so he wouldn't have to look at his brothers. "This was a bad idea," he said softly, voice choked with unshed tears, "it's my fault you're in this situation. I should have done something, should have demanded she free us, I'm so stupid to think I could get us through these caves. I'm already a mess and we haven't even started yet."
Raphael was speechless. What were they going to do? Leo was having a meltdown, and thanks to the freaking ghost, he had no way to get himself back under control. Suddenly, Raphael regretted the thoughts he'd had about how he'd be better leader than Leo. His brother was stressed, that much was obvious, but he also must be closer to a mental breakdown on a daily basis than any of them knew. Not to mention, Raphael still wanted an answer to his earlier question. He had a gut feeling he knew the what it was, but he needed to hear it from Fearless himself. However, now was not the time to press, they needed to keep walking and get out of the caves. There would be time for a heart to heart later.
"Look, Leo," Raphael began, trying to keep his tone as non combative as possible "we're gonna be ok. Yer not alone in this, we got yer back. I promise ya, yer not a failure, and yer not useless, and for your information…this is NOT yer fault. It was my idea ta come down here, remember?"
"But I agreed to the plan, I'm the one who talked Master Splinter into letting us go," Leo contradicted "I told him I'd be responsible and keep you safe."
"And you did," Donatello stated "you put yourself between that spirit and us, you sacrificed yourself to make sure she didn't hurt us. She could have, but she didn't, because you kept us safe."
"Totally what he said, dude," Mikey threw in, "and also like Raphie said, the ghost lady messed with your head. You can't expect yourself to be perfect when she took something that helps you focus!"
Donny smiled gently as he knelt next to his eldest brother to grip a trembling shoulder "Mikey's right. You can't be so hard on yourself."
Leonardo brought in a shaky breath, obviously still upset but striving to calm himself "I can't do this," he whispered, "I'm not fit to lead as I am. I screamed over a shadow, guys… a stupid shadow! My flashlight lit up a stalagmite and the shadow behind it scared me. I couldn't control my reaction, and I screamed."
The blush returned with a fervor, and Mikey found himself trading an amused glance with Donatello. Despite the serious atmosphere, they couldn't deny that Leo looked adorable when he blushed. "Awww!" The duo cried, before tackling their eldest brother in a hug.
"You're so cute when you're embarrassed!" Mikey giggled, holding Leo tightly.
Don hugged the blue turtle just as tight on the other side, his features soft with affection, "Don't worry, aniki, we got your back."
Finally their leader released a weak chuckle, resting his forehead against each of his brothers, reciprocating the affection. Raphael shook his head at the scene, not being able to help the fond smile lighting his features. "Come on, you guys," he growled gently, "let Leo go so we can get outta this place."
Don and Mikey sent unhappy pouts up to their big brother, "Do we have to?"
"Yes."
With much groaning and whines, the two youngest released their big brother, and Leo clambered back his feet. Though he still looked unsure of himself, the turtle had calmed significantly, and seemed ready to get back on the trail. "Alright, guys," the blue turtle sighed, "let's get going,"
It didn't take them long to make it to their destination, a stone doorway with elaborate swirling carvings blocking the corridor. As they approached, a blank spot on the door lit, with the same jade green light, and shaped words across the dark marble.
The first of the challenges that you will see,
A place Raphael is keen to be
Conquer the enemies that lay within
Free your brother and claim your win
"Oh, yeah!" Raphael exulted, "Ya know what that sounds like, right? We get to see some action!"
Leo felt his brows furrow, "But what does it mean, 'free your brother'?"
"Maybe we need to defeat everyone before we can progress?" Donny threw in.
"Yeah, but then wouldn't it just say that?" Leo insisted, "Instead it says that we have to free someone, there's more to it than just fighting."
"Come on, Leo, we gotta go in anyway, right?" Raph said, grabbing the large metal handle and pushing the door open, "might as well worry about it when we get there."
"Besides, it can't be anything too bad, can it?" Donny asked hopefully.
Leo sighed, his mind already a cacophony of deadly possibilities that we're waiting behind that door, "I hope not."
To Be Continued...
Part 2 will be posted by the end of the week, I hope to read your thoughts on this chapter as it was something I both struggled with and had fun writing.
please review, although they are required, I do enjoy reading the reactions of those who follow my work.