"Joy to the Squirrel"

(Or "All the Jingle Ladies")

"WELL THE LAST TIME YOU REMEMBER," the narrator spoke, "BORIS AND NATASHA HAD JUST BROKEN INTO THE ROOM WHERE THE NAUGHTY AND NICE LISTS WERE KEPT!"

"ROCKY!" Bullwinkle exclaimed, examining his now-frozen friend. "You okay?!"

"UNFORTUNATELY, ROCKY'S MIND WAS ELSEWHERE—"

———————

(*A ukulele version of "Mele Kalikimaka" plays in the background*)

(*Brief shot of Rocky relaxing on a Hawaiian beach wearing red and green swim trunks while sipping a coconut drink*)

————————-

"Don't worry Rock, I'll unfreeze you somehow!" Bullwinkle stammered.

"DERE WHEEL BE NO UNFREEZINK!" Natasha exclaimed, delivering a roundhouse kick to Bullwinkle's face.

"WHILE BULLWINKLE FOUGHT BORIS AND NATASHA, AN ELF JUST SO HAPPENED TO NOTICE THIS FIGHT TAKING PLACE….SO HE WENT TO SEE THE ONLY MAN WHO COULD HELP IN THIS SITUATION…"

"SIR!!" The elf exclaimed.

"What is it, Jingle?" Santa asked, petting a reindeer.

"There appears to be some sort of altercation happening in the Naughty and Nice list room!" Jingle pointed to a camera where Santa could easily see Rocky and Bullwinkle.

"Oh no, Rocky and Bullwinkle?!" Santa exclaimed, viewing the monitor. "They're in trouble!"

"What do you suggest we do?" Jingle inquired, scratching his head.

"THE FAT MAN IN THE RED SUIT STROKED HIS BEARD, THEN HAD AN IDEA..."

"Bring in…" Santa spoke, then turned for dramatic pause… "THE NINJABREAD MEN!"

"YES, SIR!" Jingle exclaimed, saluting.

"JINGLE OPENED A GLASS CASING ON THE WALL AND PRESSED A LARGE, RED BUTTON. A SIREN WENT OFF, A SMALL TRAPDOOR OPENED, AND OUT CAME THREE VERY ADORABLE GINGERBREAD MEN FROSTED WITH BLACK FROSTING TO LOOK LIKE LITTLE NINJAS..."

"Go save Rocky and Bullwinkle, boys!" Santa exclaimed.

"—HAI!!" The lead Ninjabread man bowed before Santa.

"AND SO THE CUTE LITTLE NINJABREAD MEN WENT INTO ACTION, YANKING OUT THEIR VARIOUS WEAPONRY SUCH AS ROLLING PINS, CHRISTMAS TREE THROWING STARS, AND CANDY CANE NUNCHAKU…"

"HU-WAAAA!"

"YAH!"

"KEEE-AIII!!"

(*brief shots of them scaling walls, one upper-cuts an elf but gets reprimanded for his behavior*)

"IN NO TIME AT ALL THEY ARRIVED ON THE SCENE, AND WHILE TWO ATTEMPTED TO FIGHT OFF BORIS AND NATASHA WITH BULLWINKLE, ANOTHER BROKE THE ICE ROCKY HAD BEEN TRAPPED WITHIN."

"N'awwwe lookit zem Boris, dey are SO PRECIOUZZZ!!" Natasha exclaimed, gushing over the miniature pastry warriors.

"ONE SMALL NINJABREAD MAN IN PARTICULAR DIDN'T TAKE KINDLY TO BEING CALLED "Cute"."

"HUUUUAAAI-YAH!" The Ninjabread man exclaimed, administering a roundhouse kick to Boris' face.

"AGH, EY!" Boris exclaimed, immediately picking up the Ninjabread man and devouring him whole.

"*あなたモンスター!" Another Ninjabread man exclaimed.

(*You Monster!*)

"AND SO, THE NINJABREAD MEN RETREATED INTO THE SHADOWS, LEAVING ONLY ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE TO ONCE AGAIN DEFEND THEMSELVES. THANKFULLY ROCKY WAS ABLE TO BREAK OUT OF THE ICE..."

"Yay, I'm outta there!" The little squirrel triumphantly exclaimed.

"HOKAY, NOW IS ON!" Boris exclaimed, taking the sword from a giant Nutcracker.

("Russian Dance" from The Nutcracker plays)

"AND SO QUITE THE BATTLE ENSUED, WITH ROCKY FIGHTING OFF NATASHA, AND BULLWINKLE FIGHTING OFF BORIS."

"EN GARDE!" Boris exclaimed, wielding his sword in front of the moose.

"FRAPPUCINO!" Bullwinkle exclaimed back at him, his sword being a candy cane with the end sucked out until it became pointed.

"ROCKY WAS DOING PRETTY WELL HANDLING NATASHA..."

"You know—" Rocky exclaimed, darting away from the pale woman as she brandished a pair of scissors. "You guys are really a CUT ABOVE THE REST!!"

"ROCKY IMMEDIATELY KICKED NATASHA'S SCISSORS AWAY AND PULLED OUT AN EXTRA-LONG RIBBON. QUICKLY ACTING, HE FLEW AROUND THE BAD GUYS AND TIED THEM UP IN A NICE, ELEGANT BOW."

"HYU STUPEED MÜSE AND SKURRL, VE VILL—" Boris exclaimed, before Rocky shoved candy canes in his and Natasha's mouth.

"Ahh, put a candy cane in it!" Rocky exclaimed.

("What Christmas Means To Me" plays in the background)

"AFTER THE BATTLE, THE ELVES AND OTHER CREATURES AND ANIMALS OF THE NORTH POLE THREW A MASSIVE CHRISTMAS PARTY FOR ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE!"

"Ho-ho-ho!" Santa chuckled, coming in to join in on the festivities. "Well done, boys, you've proven yourselves yet again to be good, kind heroes!"

"Thanks, Santa!" Rocky cheerfully exclaimed, hugging the jolly man along with Bullwinkle.

"These are for you, boys!" Santa happily laughed once more. "Now I've gotta get you two back to Minnesota!"

"SANTA HANDED ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE THEIR PRESENTS AND THEN WHISTLED FOR A REINDEER TO FLY OVER."

"Peppermint," Santa petted the reindeer's furry head. "You know what to do!"

"AND WITH THAT, PEPPERMINT FLEW INTO THE AIR WITH ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE ON HER BACK, ALL THE WAY BACK TO MINNESOTA BEFORE CHRISTMAS DAY--WELL, THAT ABOUT "wraps up" THIS EPISODE! HA! See—see what I did, with th—"

"--YES!" Rocky, Bullwinkle, Boris and Natasha exclaimed in unison at the narrator.

"ANYWAY, MAKE SURE TO BE WITH US NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE! MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HANNUKAH/KWANZAA/FELIZ LAS POSADAS/GONG XI FA CAI/WHATEVER YOU CELEBRATE, FOLKS!"

End.

music:

- Christmas Rappin'

(Kurtis Blow)

- All I Want For Christmas Is You

(Mariah Carey)

- Russian Dance

(Tchaikovsky, instrumental, "The Nutcracker")

- Mele Kalikimaka

(Bing Crosby, ukulele version)

- What Christmas Means To Me

(Stevie Wonder)