This is an extended version of my story Miscounted. Mostly, these will be random scenes in the timeline of that story so I recommend reading that one first if you haven't already. Other scenes will be alternate versions of what's published there, such as this first chapter which is both an alternate and extended version of chapter eight. Long story short, this story has taken on a life of its own and has gone beyond the premise of Evangeline being pregnant. Since there isn't a lot of Cedric/Evangeline content, I figured I'd share these for anyone interested. I will note if a specific chapter of this one correlates with one from the original.

A special thanks to amethystmusings for being my enabler with this dumpster fire and to naybaybay for encouraging me to share it ❤

Evangeline woke when she heard the creak of a floorboard. She stirred and opened her eyes. To no surprise, she saw Cedric over by the window, staring out intently.

Her first response was to close her eyes again and let him be, but then she remembered what Mrs. Blatherwick had said about simply letting him know she was there. It's not as though he'd left the room to go down to the study. Perhaps he didn't want to be alone.

She got out of bed quietly. Cedric didn't seem to notice her until she was at his side.

She didn't say anything, only looked up at him sympathetically as she rubbed his back. He seemed grateful for this, putting his arm around her in response and pressing his lips atop her head.

They stood together for quite some time, the silence comforting more than tense. As wonderful as being able to be intimate had been, it had been a while since they'd simply enjoyed being in one another's company.

"We didn't," Cedric said after a while, his voice dry.

Evangeline looked up at him in confusion. "We didn't what?"

"Agatha and I. We didn't carry on this way, as you put it."

'Cedric, you don't—"

"I know," he said, squeezing her arm.

"… I'm sorry."

"We didn't need to. We didn't have children to start with."

"No, I mean that I'm sorry for asking at all. I'm ashamed of myself. I don't know why I did. I wouldn't much care for someone asking about me that way. I should know better given Mrs. Blatherwick's teasing. At least that's done to my face."

"It's all right. She wasn't embarrassed about these sorts of things. I'm the shy one."

With a slight smile, she said, "I'll believe that."

Stroking her hair, he said, "Like before, it was different with her. Everything was different."

"I understand."

He went on anyway. "Our goal was always children. Sure, there were times it wasn't about conception, but in the beginning… We both wanted a big family."

Evangeline took his hand. "I'm glad you got it."

"Until you and I were married… Well, it's a different perspective now. I know it was difficult not being together when we wanted to be, but that's just it. With us, it's always been about being together."

"When you put it that way, it seems worth it."

He squeezed her hand still securely in his. "I knew I was going to marry Agatha the moment I met her. With you… you know it wasn't as easy as that."

"No," she agreed.

"So there was this extra layer of finally being able to admit what I felt for you. I felt guilty about it for so long. Tried to deny it because I felt like I was betraying Agatha by falling for you as quickly as I did."

She fought back a smile, knowing this was too serious and too rare a moment to spoil by feeling sentimental. "I felt guilty about it, too, falling for the grieving widower and all that."

He looked down at her. "… But there was something about those couple of months after she died."

Evangeline nodded. "In hindsight, it was improper of me to hang about you like I did. I was just so worried…"

"I needed you there. And then with the children's behavior, I needed someone I could rely on."

"I'm honored you trusted me so."

He kissed her head again. "I always did, even if I couldn't be in love with you at the time. But I did love you perhaps more than any man should love his servant. You were always so warm and were an ally to the children."

"I've loved everyone in this house from the very beginning."

"And that's why I fell in love with you so quickly. I've fallen in love with you more now that I've come to know you as my wife. I find myself distracted at work these days because I want to be home with you."

"Ah," she teased, "so that's why you're regularly coming home for lunch."

Jesting back, he said, "In case you hadn't noticed, I seldom eat during that hour."

She laughed, and Cedric wound his arms around her waist, pulling her so she was standing in front of him.

"I wish I could offer you better explanations than 'different'. I don't know what to make of these feelings myself let alone to anyone else."

"I'll try to be better about minding my own business. I never want to taint your memories with Agatha."

"You haven't… but I will say I think if you are to pass first, you've ruined me for other women."

She raised her eyebrows, utterly surprised. "How is that?"

"You're so passionate, especially now that intimacy has become a steady part of our days. You think it's your downfall that you weren't bred to be the lady of a household. No matter what that means socially. In private? My word. I could never see myself with a prim and proper wife again."

"Are you saying I'm promiscuous?" she questioned as she stepped away from him, feeling more offended than flattered.

"Heavens no," he quickly corrected. "No, that's not what I mean at all."

"What do you mean then?"

Keeping quiet for a moment to find his wording, he then said, "You love me."

"And Agatha didn't?" she questioned with increasing confusion.

"No, I don't mean to say that, either. I just mean… you aren't afraid to get caught up in the moment. There's no set way of how to love each other. You don't expect certain things of me nor I of you. No one drilled limitations into you, telling you how exactly a husband is supposed to treat his wife or what restraint wives should have for their husbands."

She felt warm suddenly, flushed from head to toe and no longer able to meet his eye. Had she really made so many mistakes? No wonder Mrs. Blatherwick was on her case. "I'm sorry… I never realized there were rules about these sorts of things."

Reaching to take hold of her head, stroking her ears with his thumbs, Cedric said, "I don't mean this as a reprimand, Evie. I'm saying that I most enjoy this."

"I just… I feel embarrassed now. I've grown so comfortable with you. Too comfortable, I gather."

"I wouldn't have it any other way. I mean it. It's freeing for me. I've… never experienced anything like this."

Evangeline tried to process his words. Was he admitting that he enjoyed their intimacy more than his and Agatha's, even if only in the physical sense?

"I don't know what to say," was all she replied.

Tilting her chin upwards, he placed a tender kiss on her lips. "Say you'll come back to bed with me."

"I feel so conscious of myself…"

Tugging on the collar of her nightdress, he said, "Then let me prove to you how much I appreciate your love."

. . .

She couldn't remember the last time she'd been so timid with him. It wasn't unusual for him to take the lead, but she was sure she hadn't been so clumsy since their first night together.

"You're so tense," Cedric said, his lips against her jaw. "I never meant to inhibit you."

"I'm sorry," she said as she let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. "I just keep thinking about how everyone in the house over a certain age, perhaps even younger, has known what we've been up to… to realize that it's not normal."

"It's not abnormal," he said. "It's not as if they know the details."

"You said that we get caught up in the moment. Those are the times throughout the day usually. All I can think of is Mrs. Blatherwick and Cynthia thinking of me as a tart. It doesn't go well with my background."

Losing the mood, he moved to her side. "I can't speak for Cynthia, and I don't know to what extent these conversations with Mrs. Blatherwick have gone, but I don't suspect she thinks ill of you."

"It must be part of why Cynthia is so shy with us. She's even quieter than I was when I first came here."

"I sincerely don't think she's given us that much thought. Mrs. Blatherwick has known us. Cynthia likely doesn't think of us as newlyweds. And even if she does, what's it to any of them? I regret nothing of our time together. Why can't you focus on the compliment?"

"You're not the only one with dark moods from time to time."

He moved to his back with a grumble.

Evangeline turned away from him, not wanting him to see how truly upset she was becoming as tears rushed to her eyes.

"Why did you ask if you didn't really want to know the answer?"

"Because," she said shakily, having to pause so she could continue stronger. "I'd prepared for you to say how extraordinary you were together."

"Would you really have taken that better?"

"No, but at least it wouldn't have been anything I'd done."

"Evangeline, I said how much I enjoy being with you. You've taken this thing out of proportion. You are an incredible lover."

"Only because I didn't know my place."

"I don't want you to know your place!" he said in a hushed sort of raised voice. "This isn't some kind of test that will be made public. I don't know why you're worried at all. It's not as though you spend much time in town socializing with the other wives, anyway."

"Because they can't look past my being your scullery maid," she snapped. "They haven't any interest in me. What will they say once they realize I'm pregnant?"

"We haven't committed a crime. There won't even be a question of when the baby was conceived. Why do you insist on pressuring yourself and comparing yourself to others? If you're not comparing yourself to Agatha, it's other women in general."

"How many times can I tell you that I'm unsure of myself sometimes?"

"I'm telling you there's no reason to be. If I wanted a society wife, I would have gone through with Mrs. Quickly." He scoffed. "Now she's what you'd call promiscuous — in the worst sense of the word. Those low dresses and oversized hoops… she's someone people gossip about."

Clutching the blanket to her, Evangeline said, "At least she brings that on herself. She wants that sort of attention."

"Exactly. You're very unassuming. If anything, people will gossip more about that than anything else. No one is going to know what goes on between us, nor should they damn well care."

Brushing away the couple of tears that had rolled over the bridge of her nose, she said, "It's not so much about people knowing. I don't even mind what they think of me being your maid, though it would be nice to be more accepted. It's the realization that I've messed up again in such a humiliating way."

"But you didn't mess up. That's what you're not hearing."

She shook her head. "What must you've thought of me?"

"That I'm the luckiest man in the world."

She didn't reply.

Cedric turned on his side again, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Most women in our village are too uptight. I'm sure you've heard all the comments about me and Agatha by now, probably most of them from Aunt Adelaide. People were quick to call us weak-minded when the only difference is that all of our infants survived past infancy. Petty if you ask me."

"I never thought of that before."

He went on. "So many of those marriages were and are based on convenience and circumstance more than love. With that, it's mostly for the sake of children. I was lucky to have found someone I loved in Agatha and genuinely want a family. Her parents weren't too keen on me. I was beneath her family. I do understand what you're going through. Having to admit I couldn't keep up with the bills and the children was like admitting the defeat they'd anticipated all along. Agatha swore that's what killed her mother in the end, though she tried not to think about it. Said it was heartbreak. I was supposed to be so much better."

Evangeline slowly turned onto her back, looking up at him intently.

"Aunt Adelaide stepped in, as you know. I think that whole marriage ploy was a chance to redeem myself. I'm sure that's why she took to Mrs. Quickly right away. Phony as she was, that's the kind of attention Aunt Adelaide wants from everyone."

"No wonder she fainted when she realized I was your maid."

"Quite concerning that she was less upset when she thought you were my daughter."

She tried to laugh, but it came out as a whimper instead.

Cedric stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. "My point is that even Agatha was raised believing you were intimate for the sake of having children. It was only after that she realized it could be something more. I suppose I did, too. I really don't want to go into details about it all, but even the moments that were just for us, there were boundaries I guess I'll say."

"But that's what's got me feeling so horrid. What have I done that's not appropriate?"

"It's not that what you've done is inappropriate, it's more that Agatha and other women in her position were more uptight."

"You said she wasn't shy about these things."

"No, not particularly," he said, "but that also comes with having so many children. It took a while before she could laugh off people's comments. But I can't think of a time she would have taken well to my coming home from lunch to be with her without prior knowledge. She had a routine she didn't like to break. She was amorous when she wanted to be, but it was expected of me to initiate those moments should they not be planned and only within certain times and places."

"So, you're saying when I come and interrupt your letter writing or something… that's what's different?"

"Things of that nature. And I love it."

"Okay…"

"Can you understand more now when I say that you and Agatha are different?"

"I think so…"

"You don't sound certain."

"I think it will still be a while before I have full confidence in myself."

"So long as you trust in how much I truly love you, I'll be happy."

"I know you love me, Cedric, and I'm sorry that I've continued to pry into yours and Agatha's personal matters. I really do feel ashamed of myself for letting my mind wander such things."

"You can make it up to me by letting go of this rot about needing to behave as the world expects you. My time with Agatha came to an end. I will always resent that her life was cut short and I'll make no effort to pretend otherwise. However, I feel as though she had a hand in making sure I found love again in you."

More tears. "You do?"

Cedric nodded. "She knew that you loved her children, and she must have known how much I needed you. Not a society woman or gold-digging widow. She knew I needed someone who could make my troubles melt away for a time when I'm with her."

Holding back a sob, Evangeline shut her eyes tightly as she moved her head upwards to kiss him.

Cedric deepened the kiss instantly.

"I love you, Evie."

"I love you, too, Cedric."

. . .

The next time Evangeline woke was to the feeling of Cedric's lips on her forehead, his fingers stroking her hair.

"I'm off to work. Do you want me to have Cynthia bring you your breakfast?"

She blinked a few times. "What time is it?"

"Nearly eight."

She sat up in a flash. "Why didn't you wake me sooner? Pass me my nightgown, please. The kids haven't been in, have they?"

Cedric chuckled, doing as she asked. "Not to worry, darling. They had breakfast with me. It was a long night. I figured you needed a rest."

Rubbing her eyes, she replied, "I don't feel much rested."

"No harm in staying in bed once you've put that on."

She pulled the garment over her head and fastened the collar. "I think I might if it makes no difference to you."

"Of course not. I feel better knowing you're taking it easy."

Reaching for his hand, Evangeline tugged him closer until he bent down for a kiss. "Please, don't worry. I'll feel better in a couple of hours, I'm sure. It's only from being up so late, not because something's wrong with the baby."

"I know. I'm sorry about that, by the way. I shouldn't have kept you up once I realized I'd woken you."

"It was worth it. I'm glad we talked though I still feel guilty."

"Don't fret about it. Focus on getting some rest."

Letting go of his hand, she nodded.

"I won't come home for lunch."

She pouted teasingly.

He smirked, giving her a final peck on the lips. "I mean it. Rest up."

"Cedric?" she called once he reached the door.

"Yes?"

"Would you mind sending Mrs. Blatherwick? I don't know Cynthia enough just yet to let her see me in my nightclothes."

"I suppose this is more about girl talk," he winked.

"Perhaps in the kitchen," she said meekly. "Never upstairs."

He chuckled again and then went on his way.