Chapter 16: Help Him to See Past All That

16-year-old Lily Evans instinctively knew when someone was lying to her.

Petunia had taught her to detect the simple art of deception simply by virtue of the fact that her sister had lied so frequently to sneak out to parties or be with boys. It also helped if you knew the person. And after almost 6 years, despite his frequent absences, Lily liked to think she knew her fellow Prefect, Remus Lupin, well.

He was certainly more mature than the friends he hung around with – Potter and his ilk. And also a lot quieter. Yet it was the melancholy countenance about him that always seemed to leave other students stuck in some halfway land between drawn to him while also wanting to shy away.

Then, of course, there were the curious whispers about where he went just about every month. He was away from the school more than he was actually in it. The official story was that his mother had cancer and she needed him to oversee her care. A nosier student might have had the bollocks to ask Remus whether this was true or just a bunch of hogwash, were it not for the fact that Potter, Black and Pettigrew damn near guarded him every waking moment. Merlin, the three clowns seemed to be losing sleep acting as the keepers of the keys to everything Remus Lupin!

Lily thought the cancer line was a lot of nonsense. And by Godric, by the end of her Hogwarts career, she was going to find out the truth. Tonight, if she had to.

Tonight was one of those rare instances when Remus was actually on Prefect duty with her, doing patrol rounds about the castle at night. Lily tried to think back to the last time the man had been on rounds with her instead of their alternate, Burt Pertinger, and found it had to be close to a year and a half ago, start of fifth year, just after she and Remus had received their badges.

Normally, this would have been a good opportunity to engage Remus in intellectual conversation – for someone who was hardly ever in class and yet somehow managed to pass his exams with full marks anyway, the man was very well read.

She'd engage him in intellectual conversation all right – to explain to her why he was a student of Hogwarts seemingly in name only. Sure, Lily could sympathize with someone caring for a sick parent…. if she thought that was the truth to Lupin's frequent disappearances. But she didn't. Something else was going on….

Even so, as she and Remus passed under the torch sconces, she concluded that she would have to confront him with finesse.

"So: how's your mother?"

Remus gave away her first clue to her almost immediately: he stiffened. A person who was telling the truth would be relaxed in their own body as they spoke. "Oh, she's…. she lives from day to day. The cancer is….. very fickle. Sometimes, she'll go a stretch of days feeling almost fine, and then all at once, she'll take a turn…." He cast a sideways glance at her. "I just received owl post from her day before yesterday. There's been another flare-up requiring chemo, so I'll need to be gone next Saturday week."

There was the second clue that something was up: Remus was actually talking too much. He was feeding her far too much information, likely thinking that the more detailed he was, the more truthful he sounded, when really, it was just the opposite. If he was lying (which Lily suspected he was), he was looking for filler words to bolster the world of the lie.

With that, Lily decided to spring her trap.

"What a shame. It saddens me that she's been struggling like this for years." Then: "You'll miss the full moon again."

There. Right there, she saw it. He nearly jolted to a stop at her words, head darting all the way round to take her in fully. His dark irises were quite round, and he looked about as pale as the celestial object she had just referenced. "What…. what would be so special about the full moon?"

Now Lily halted herself, pivoting to face him with a snap, arms folded, eyebrow cocked almost matronly. "I'm quite sure I don't know, Remus. You tell me."

He started to open his mouth to speak, closed it, then was just opening it again when she cut across him: "Actually, save your breath. Let me try and tell youwhat I think it is. First of all, if your mother truly has been dealing with cancer since our first year, I find it odd that at no point has she ever seemed to achieve remission long enough that you've been granted a reprieve in her care. And even if there hasn't been, I would find it quite remarkable that your mother has been fighting for nearly six years straight and somehow hasn't died yet!"

Remus started to open his mouth again like he wanted to object; Lily held up a finger sharply. "And here's something else that's rather curious: is it just coincidence that your mother has always called you away around the time of the full moon. I'm no doctor, but I was raised Muggle, and as far as I'm aware, cancer is not subject to the circadian rhythms." She arched up her other eyebrow to go along with the first. "That is curious, isn't it, Remus?"

He deflated, and by that she knew: he was caught. She had caught him in some kind of lie; she just didn't know what the truth was. She decided to soften the blow.

"Remus…." She spoke gently. "If something is wrong…. If you were in… some sort of trouble… you would tell me. Wouldn't you?" She searched his eyes kindly. "We are friends, aren't we?"

Strangely, this seemed to take him by just as much surprise as the knowledge that she had found him out, though the shock held a slightly different tenor to it: almost as if he was…. touched. His shoulders slumped all the more and he sighed.

"How long have you known?"

"That you've been using this story? Let's say a while," she conceded. "But clearly I don't know what truth has been kept underneath that cover story. Perhaps you could tell me?" She bit her lip tentatively, keeping herself available, waiting for him to approach her.

"Lillian, you're one of the cleverest students in the school, other than James and Sirius. I imagine you can hazard a guess."

The bitterness in his voice, the way he was glancing down at his saddle shoes, made her cringe, and her heart shatter along with her expression. "I'm sure I could. Except it isn't my place. It's not my story to tell." She crooned it almost tenderly.

Remus lifted his gaze to hers, and she was horrified to see moisture pooling behind his eyelids. A very long, pause, and then he whispered it:

"I'm a werewolf."

She couldn't help releasing a gasp, her deep green eyes staring at him in wonder. Across from her, Remus flinched, waiting, though for what she didn't know. In the interim, she thought she heard herself breathe out, "So that explains it." The departures always around the full moon. Why he always looked so tired.

"Are you going to run from me?"

His query made Lily snap back into the present, and she tilted her head, doe eyes blinking. "No. Have you given me a reason to run from you?"

He actually gawped at her. "Yes! Aren't you afraid of me?"

Seeing the naked vulnerability in his stare made Lily's heart reach out to him, even as it broke all over again. Stepping into him, she laid a gentle hand on his chest, smiling at him softly. "No….."

He gazed at her, bewildered. "You should be."

"But I'm not." Her smile brightened. "Potter and his lot clearly aren't afraid of you, and they court danger like it's a bit of skirt." They both shared a chuckle at this. She studied him, a thought striking her. "They know, don't they?"

Remus shuffled from foot to foot, hedging. "I can't answer that," he whispered meekly. That clearly meant yes.

Lily smirked, deciding to let it go. "Fair enough." A slight pause, and then she gave him her best smile again. "Thank you for telling me, Remus."

He shrugged, mumbling something about not having much of a choice. She heard him anyway, and laughed gaily. Remus merely continued to stare at her as if wonder. "You really don't care? That I'm…"

She shrugged. "Why should I?"

"Lily, you must understand – the label alone…"

Taking both of his hands in hers, she lifted their joined palms between them. Now it was her turn to feel emotional. "Remus… if you know anything about me, then you should know I know a lot about labels."

He pondered her for a moment. Then, before Lily could register it, her fellow Prefect suddenly tugged her close and shyly kissed her right on the lips.

Her green eyes bulged in surprise, but then drooped heavily, lidded. It was actually her first kiss, and while she might not have pegged Remus being the one to snog her, she had to admit, his mouth tasted quite pleasant.

They broke apart tentatively after a moment or two. Remus was still regarding her as though he had never met anyone quite like her. Lily bit her lip to hide her amused grin.

"Well…." she managed at last, sounding slightly breathless. "Master Lupin…"

His entire face fell. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing!" she twittered out a giggle. "It's just that I never took you for a romantic."

Her heart swelled with relief at how his lips twisted into a wry smirk. "Oh, believe me, your instincts have served you rather well there."

"Well, I wouldn't let it get around. What would your girlfriend Mary think?" Lily playfully waggled her eyebrows at him, eliciting a chuckle from him. At least she could say with certainty that he was a gentleman, as he gallantly offered her his arm. Smiling with amusement, she graciously accepted it and the pair continued their patrol together.