Disclaimer: These are works of purely speculative fiction. It is not intended to infringe on any rights by any of the companies and/or individuals involved in the production of any series mentioned here. Fate Grand Order and all the franchises and series associated with it, are owned by Kinoko Nasu, Notes Co., Ltd. and their affiliates. Similarly, Fire Emblem Heroes is owned by Nintendo Co., Ltd. and their affiliates.
I DO NOT OWN THESE FRANCHISES.
Sister Fanfic: Serious Side Reels - A Grand Order of Heroes Sidestories
"What is this?" A beautiful young girl sat on a barstool in a dingy bar. She was glaring daggers at the burly bar owner behind the counter, who seemed to be feigning ignorance to her displeasure.
"Ain't it obvious, girly? It's milk."
Euryale pursed her lips at the sass that came out of the man's mouth. "I know what milk is. What I want to know is why you would insult a goddess, such as myself, with this… barbaric offering when I specifically asked for your oldest, and finest wine!" She said as she slammed her hand on the wooden counter.
"Listen, as much as I want to sell you some spirits, I ain't in the habit of giving alcohol to minors after those strict new royal laws were passed. I'll lose my license!"
She scoffed at the man's excuses, "Do you know who I am, what I am?" Euryale might be one of the cutest and most beautiful idol goddesses the world has ever seen, but she was still old enough to drink! She was one of the most common heroic spirit summons that Chaldea called upon, so it would be impossible for even the common rabble to not know who she was!
"If you ain't got an ID, then no I don't." He defiantly crossed his arms and leveled a glare in her direction. "And I frankly don't care to ya rude lassie. Either take the milk or leave it, I ain't losing my livelihood to some brat's whims."
"Oh, really, a brat am I?" She channeled her divine authority through her being. She flipped one of her ponytails back while batting her enhanced eyelashes seductively at the man, "what about now? No man could resist the allure of a beautiful goddess such as myself. So, will you not offer some wine to your goddess?" Men were all the same, they were animals that preyed on pretty young women like her and Euryale. It didn't take much to make men grovel at her feet for even a scrap of her attention, Which was why she was so perplexed when she found her attempts at seduction rebuffed by the tavern owner in front of her.
"Nice try, but those petty tricks don't work on me, mage." She gasped in offense, to which he only responded with a smirk as he pointed at his neck. Her mouth closed shut when she saw the engravings on the amulet, an amulet that oozed curses that were targeted against mind control, illusions, and more specifically her charms. Curses that somehow surpassed her divine boons.
She clicked her tongue in annoyance. This man is lucky she's one of the few Euryales that doesn't have an Asterios, or else she would have intimidated him into giving her wine. Euryale pointed her nose up to the ceiling and huffed, "Fine. Keep your filthy horse piss to yourself, then. This place is unbefitting of a goddess of my stature."
Euryale jumped off the barstool and made her way out of the dingy tavern. Once she was out of view and in earshot of the owner, she let out a curse. This was the last tavern in Askr she had left to visit. All of them had either turned her away or given her milk due to her looking underage.
The kingdom had started to adopt Modern earth regulations after they got a lecture on how alcohol affects children's brains. Which the saps proceeded to eat up.
Bah! Euryale was a goddess, an existence that was mature and beautiful enough to deserve to consume her blood wine. Poor Medusa didn't end up bleeding out just so that she could stay dry. She needed to have her mid-afternoon wine, which she can't have now because of that woman.
Euryale felt her Luck EX work its magic and caused her foot to avoid a nasty pile of horse excrement. The attempt failed, but the fact the attempt existed to begin with only angered her more.
'Damn blasted witch!'
She could practically hear that gloomy stalker's giggles at her frustration right now. The dark mage had become a serious thorn in her side as of late.
Just this week alone, the witch had slung many attempts to cause 'accidents' in her daily life. None of them were successful, but that didn't deter the witch when she found out her curses wouldn't affect her perfected body directly. She had hurled dozens upon dozens of attempts afterward. Yet the result was the same.
Most would give up after that, but this fact only seemed to incentivize her as she started to drastically increase the attempts to make her day worse. Alas, the witch's attempts were still rendered null by her EX-rank luck.
Yet. She. Did. Not. Give. Up.
The Witch had slung so many attempts she could barely focus on her leisure. They were so numerous that even her luck was having a hard time keeping up. She had suffered dozens of her favorite teacups being broken, but her luck prevented any tea from burning her, a few black cats trying to cross in front of her, only to be scared off due to a tree falling and almost crushing her. Even as a servant, that tree was old and heavy enough that it would have been enough to kill her if her luck didn't save her.
Thankfully for her, that was the last lethal curse she sent her way, because the next was an army of pigeons aiming to defecate on her. Euryale somehow managed to evade that defilement because the dumb birds didn't take into account the nearby knight who stood over her to protect her.
Or was he a samurai? Euryale thought it was weird she couldn't remember their face but then again, it was hard to remember what someone looks like when they are covered in bird poop. Regardless, none of her attempts were successful due to her EX Luck, her [Mana Resistance A] skill, and her status as a Perfected Goddess keeping her safe[1]
Yet Euryale was still annoyed by the constant harassment.
And all because she decided to throw a compliment at that white-haired tactician. Honestly, it's not her fault her 'man' has great taste in women, nor is it her fault he was entranced by her cute and beautiful idol body.
But now... now she's gone too far! A goddess needs her wine! This shall not stand!
"Greetings young miss, would you care to spare some coin? The Winter Festival is coming soon, and the orphans would appreciate the help."
Euryale composed herself, as a proper goddess would, and looked toward the man. He was a bald priest with a kind smile, and an aura that radiated 'wisdom.' He was carrying a white bucket with a hole in the middle that was large enough to fit even the largest of gold coins. She could tell this man was a kind heart who loved using his free time to do charity work.
She smiled demurely at the old man.
"No."
Euryale proceeded on her way, not bothering or caring to acknowledge the needs of others when she was sober.
0-0-0
Euryale made it to a dingy hut near the outskirts of the castle. She would normally stay away from such a place, but circumstances have forced her hand. Just standing outside the house, she could feel several bounded fields layered over the building. How paranoid.
Not like they will affect her anyway.
Euryale walked up toward the door and with the grace of an elegant idol, Euryale politely knocked on the rickety door with the back of her hand, then crossed her arms and waited.
It only took a second for the door to unlock with a click, and it opened a crack. A tall woman dressed in a courtesan's garbs peeked outside. Her sunken, sleep-deprived eyes looked down at her with disgust.
"What do you want pipsqueak?"
"Show your goddess some respect, witch. Consider yourself blessed, as I have decided to grace you with my holy presence."
The woman rolled her eyes at her, "you are no god of mine, child. Now buzz off or I'll curse you so that only dogs find you appealing." The woman slowly attempted to close the door, which Euryale stopped by gripping the door.
"Wait, I need you to-" Euryale felt a slimy substance lick her fingers, which caused her to retract her hand.
"You barbarian! How dare you put your slobber on my divine skin!"
From behind the door, the woman responded, "ugh, you wish you perverted ghost, my slobber belongs only to Corrin."
Euryale then looked at her hand, then back at the door. Just as she was about to demand what she used on her hand, a ribbit sound interrupted her protest. Her beautiful face paled when she put two and two together. Euryale's horror turned to fury, and she went up to the door and started to slam into it with all her strength. "Open this door Tharja! Open this door so that you can receive your divine punishment!"
Seeing how the woman didn't respond, Euryale grit her teeth in frustration.
"Milady, are you in need of assistance?"
Euryale jumped in fear at the sudden voice. She turned to see a man decked out in heavy armor. "Where did you come from?!" She had no idea how this man managed to sneak up on her so closely without her knowing, especially with that heavy suit of armor he's got wearing. She doubts even Hassan would be able to get around in that suit of armor without getting caught.
He was about to answer her, but she put her hand up, "Never mind. Would you please be a dear and open this door? I am much too delicate to do so myself." This time, she unleashed her full charms on the man, which thankfully seemed to have worked.
"Certainly!" The armored man stepped onto the porch without even making so much as making the wooden floor groan or creak. Then with the grace of an elephant, he slammed into the door, which caused the door to fly off its hinges and reveal a surprised-looking witch.
"Thank you, sweetie. I'll be sure to reward you for your services later." Euryale turned away from the man and smugly stared down the witch.
"Not so tough now are you witch? Now cease with your annoying curses or else-" as soon as she took a step inside Tharja's workshop, she felt something attempting to astralize her body.
"Wh-what?"
Thankfully, her [Magical Resistance A] skill activated, causing the astralization process to cease, but she still felt like she had a good chunk of her strength taken from her.
"Milady!" The knight moved to rescue her but was stopped by a lightning bolt hitting his chest.
Her brave knight fell on the floor with a loud thud, which caused the hut to shake.
Euryale was taken aback by the bounded field inside this hut. It was strong… strong enough to affect her. Yet how, how had the witch managed to hide this? She looked toward the ceiling and noted it was covered in a matrix of runes, pentagrams, and most importantly… divine seals.
"Do you like it?"
Her head bobbed downward to see the woman, who she believed was Tharja, smirking at her.
"I found a rather... interesting magical array inside a temple while on a supply run in the Fuyuki Singularity your summoner loves to send us on." Her tacky heels clacked on the wooden floor as she walked toward her[2].
"I almost didn't go since I saw such tedious activities beneath me. However, Corrin convinced me to go anyway."
She smiled sweetly at her, which caused the goddess to step back in fear. "It was a good thing I did because that trip paid me back in dividends. It was quite the impressive seal, but replicating it seemed doable. Thus, I took some notes and made my own."
She kneeled to her eye level, like a mother staring down a naughty child, " the name's Rhajat pipsqueak, not Tharja. Don't compare me to that shitty, abusive old hag ever again... understood?"
Euryale nodded frantically, too terrified of the woman in front of her to talk back to her.
She stood back up while looking at Euryale with a creepy smile, "great, now that we understand each other, Tharja's workshop is on the other side of the castle. She hasn't figured out how to replicate the array in this room, so feel free to go and seduce someone to give her a good beating. But I suggest you hurry, or else one of your equally annoying copies will get to her first..." Rhajat paused when she noticed something on the floor, she picked it up and caused Euryale's eyes to widen. Her vial of Medusa's blood.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" She opened the vial and immediately the room was flooded with the sweet aroma of her sister's lifeblood. "What potent magical energy. I will take this as compensation for the door you just broke. It's been getting quite expensive and bothersome to replace them all the time, as I'm sure you understand."
Her mood shifted once more, she was now looking at Euryale like she was a bug, "now get lost. Just because my curses can't affect you, doesn't mean my scalpels won't work either."
Euryale nodded fearfully before scrambling out of the woman's workshop.
0-0-0
Crows cawed in the background, and the afternoon sun was setting over the horizon. Euryale had managed to walk back toward town and was now sitting on a bench in a nearby park.
It just so happened that the same wave of laws that Askr passed included some infrastructure improvements as well, which included this park for the locals to visit.
She sighed, she was left without wine, without her sister's sweet blood, and without respect. Heck, she didn't even have her revenge since she could not be bothered to walk all the way across to the other side of the castle of the Order, even if she politely asked someone to carry her. So here she was, sitting on a bench, alone. No Asterios, wine, or will to even continue bothering.
Why was she even here?
She was a cute and perfect idol! People should be groveling at her whim, yet so many have already started to disrespect her so! Maybe she should head back into the Shapeless Isle, at least then she would be alone and feel at home.
"Ah, young miss. Good to see you once more!"
Euryale looked up and saw the kindly elder man she had rebuffed earlier. She instantly raised her guard, while he may be a kind man, kind men usually had the most nefarious intentions towards Euryale and her sisters.
"What do you want, old man? I might not look it, but I am much older than you. So I will not entertain whatever long-winded sage advice you might wish to impart on me."
The old man chuckles, "not all of us old men are windbags you know. I came merely for peace." He pulled something out from behind his cloak, causing Euryale to look at him with surprise.
A dusty bottle of aged wine, and he was giving it to her. "What is the catch? Do you wish something of me... or 'of me?'" she asked leadingly, to which the old man shook his head.
"Oh no, I would never dream of manipulating ladies into accepting my company. My body and spirit belong to my goddess, so I apologize but I must reject your false assumptions, young goddess."
"Would your goddess forgive you if you gave an offering to another goddess? We goddesses happen to be very jealous you know." She smiled mischievously at him.
"I am sure she will not mind, It is a gesture of goodwill. Tis the season after all." He easily rebuffed her attempts to fluster him.
Euryale sighed, already getting used to this treatment from mortals. She looked down at the bottle once more, but this time, she took it. "Very well, then I suppose I will accept your offering sir..."
"My name is Wrys, now I know you said you didn't wish to hear the ramblings of an old man. But this old man would be glad to lend an ear if you so wish," the old man said.
Euryale was skeptical of this man, but still... he didn't seem dangerous or of mal intent either. Fine, she will accept his offer. "Very well. I will speak but if I hear a peep out of you, I will stand up and leave, you understand?" She said as she stared at him with narrowed eyes.
To which the old man only responded with a nod.
Euryale saw that as confirmation and started by airing out her frustrations. From how no one respects her, to the unfairness of the bar owners to the witch's harassment, she laid into the poor man without a hint of reluctance. That conversation transitioned into her grievances about having multiple copies of herself running around and making life harder for her. After a few minutes of ranting, she paused for a moment to observe the man. She expected the man to cut in, but he just continued to patiently listen to her ranting.
That just led her to continue speaking, until she had somehow opened up about whether she should even continue to lend her help to Chaldea. She was clearly not wanted, and yet she still couldn't help but stick around anyway. It frustrated her to no end and she felt like giving up.
Wrys never spoke up once, only calmly listening to her woes respectfully. Even when she made several leading statements to fish out some "advice" from him, he never uttered a peep.
It felt good that someone was actually just paying attention to her. Actually paying attention rather than just pretending to while being transfixed on her beauty. Euryale finished her rant and just focused back on her thoughts, the sun had long set into the horizon by now.
"It would seem it is getting late. As much as I enjoyed talking your ear off, I must be headed home." Euryale got up from the bench and turned to face the man once more.
"Thank you, old man. Your silence was appreciated."
"It was of no issue to me young goddess, tis a monk's job to listen to the grievences of the masses."
Euryale humphed before dematerializing from existence, a safety measure to ensure she could walk home safe from vagabonds and made her way home. Before she left, she reached into her hidden pockets and inserted something into the man's donation can.
A loud clunk hit the bottom of the can, which caused the man's ears to twitch. It indicated that Euryale had just deposited a golden coin in his bucket for the children.
Even without knowing she was still there, the man knew it was her who had just given the donation.
"Thank you for your donation miss. Truly, you are a kind soul."
Footnotes:
[1] Euryale and Stheno have a ton of skills that counter curses and bad luck. They are Perfected Goddesses and are destined to live unchanged from inception until destruction. Which means nothing a dark mage does could affect them directly.
Unless those mages get something or someone who supersedes the twins' authority and imbues curses that are strong enough to subvert their nature. Like in the case of the amulets given to the bar owners of Askr.
[2]Ryuudo Temple's Barrier: Rejects unnatural spirits that set foot in the area. Servants attempting to cross it will be repelled, and their powers reduced if they force their way in. Rhajat managed to recreate this barrier inside her workshop with... reluctant help from some Hoshidan monks.
Out of all the worlds/countries in FE, the ones who are undoubtedly masters at making bounded fields are the Hoshidans. Queen Mikoto was able to sustain a bounded field over Hoshido that made it so that any Nohrian who crossed its border would lose the will to fight.
So recreating The Ryuudo Temple Barrier should be possible for a Hoshidan Diviner and some monks.
Image available on Deviantart, paste/write the following after the dot com of the url.
Euryale staring at a glass of milk: /ihev9sun/art/Euryale-staring-at-a-glass-of-milk-940721836
Author's Note: Originally, this was supposed to be Stheno, but I couldn't get her personality to fit with the scene, so I switched towards Euryale since she was closer to the image of a grumpy lolibaba I was going for here than Stheno would.
Once again, thanks for reading.