Disclaimer: These are works of purely speculative fiction. It is not intended to infringe on any rights by any of the companies and/or individuals involved in the production of any series mentioned here. Fate Grand Order and all the franchises and series associated with it, are owned by Kinoko Nasu, Notes Co., Ltd., and their affiliates. Similarly, Fire Emblem Heroes is owned by Nintendo Co., Ltd., and their affiliates.

I DO NOT OWN THESE FRANCHISES.

Sister Fanfic: Serious Side Reels - A Grand Order of Heroes Side stories

The Order of Heroes Mess Hall was once just a typical medieval room. While it was much cleaner and fancier than a normal tavern due to it belonging to the royal army, it was still shabby in comparison to modern standards.

That changed when Chaldea came along.

Now instead of candlelight, the entire place was lightened by portable fluorescent light bulbs, so the overall heat of the room was not as warm as it would have been had it only been lit by candlelight.

The wooden tables were replaced with much cleaner and much higher quality tables and the dining area was expanded to allow patrons and/or soldiers to dine on the floor.

Despite the massive change that was made, it still paled in comparison to how drastically the kitchen changed. The kitchen had been doubled in size and contained some of the most cutting-edge cooking technology from gas stoves, a microwave, and even a pizza oven!

However, the most crucial and important device brought from Earth was the giant walk-in fridge that kept all the perishable ingredients the chefs needed to feed the army.

But there was a problem.

No matter what wards were put up, both servants and hero summons kept sneaking into the room and taking or putting items that didn't belong, which in turn made the room incredibly disorganized, which in turn slowed down cooking times for the chefs.

It happened so frequently that Beni-Enma, the head chef of the kitchen had enough and just placed a regular fridge near the entrance of the kitchen to mitigate the problem.

If anyone wants to grab a snack, beverage, or leftover, they must go to the fridge first. If they didn't find what they wanted? Ask. Because if you were found skulking through the big walk-in fridge, Beni would personally deal with you herself.

Ever since then, the fridge has now been used as intended.

Its sheer size and the low humming noise made it impossible to miss. The device was so popular that it was easily filled to the brim with so many items, which forced the Chaldea to bring in a second one just so that the summons would have a place to store leftovers and cold snacks and beverages.

Thus far, only summons have the right to pop into the kitchen to grab their cold snacks whenever they wish. Civilians and normal soldiers were forced to wait until the designated eating times.

Currently, there was only one person using the fridge at this moment.

The person who opened the fridge is a woman with long blue hair that was slightly disheveled but not out of choice, but rather because she had just finished a grueling training session.

Her eyes were asymmetrical but not of color, as they were both blue, but rather it was due to one of her eyes having a brand engraved over her iris. The brand originates from the World of Awakening and it is the mark that signified the owner as a member of the royal family of Ylisse.

The owner of this branded eye is Lucina, and it was currently in the process of locating a special item from this refrigerator.

This item was a heavenly substance that she has grown fond of eating since the last Christmas feast months ago.

Figgy Pudding.

While she had eaten this dessert many times at home before being summoned, the way that the Chaldeans made this savory fruit cake was beyond anything she had ever tasted prior.

Her eyes were frantically looking through the various yogurts, gelatins, and desserts stuffed in this box in hopes of finding her prize.

After a minute of searching she managed to spot a glass container located deep within the fridge. With the hands of a grubby child, she reached in, picked it up, and brought it out of its resting place.

Lucina removed the red plastic top of the container and immediately, a strong aroma of brandy and sweet plums hit her nostrils.

Without wasting any time, she procured a fork she commandeered earlier when she went into the kitchen and dug into the delectable dessert.

Normally, tradition dictates lighting Figgy Pudding on fire before eating but she knew doing so would attract unwanted attention from the gluttonous Artoria servants. Even after obtaining a Saint Graph herself, she did not feel confident in being able to fend off a hungry Lion from her prize, let alone a pack.

She was lucky she had found this scrap after so long.

Taking her fork, she cut off a small piece and brought it to her mouth. An explosion of flavor hit her, one which caused her to moan in delight.

After a long day of having to dodge a rain of arrows by a sadistic horseman, and getting dragged into doing multiple sets of the "New and Improved Fanatical Fitness Hour" by Fredrick, having something as divine as Figgy pudding afterward only made her recovery all the faster.

She was so engrossed in her prize that she didn't notice a certain Archer Servant staring at her disgraceful display.

"You're going to ruin your appetite if you eat that before dinner you know."

Lucina nearly drops the pudding in her hands and looks back at Archer.

"Oh, Archer, I didn't see you there." She points down at her dessert, "also, this isn't for me, this is for… someone else."

"Then why are you eating it?"

Archer just stared at the audacity of this girl with a raised brow.

"I am merely making sure that it's not gone bad. I would not wish to make poor Elise suffer a stomach ache from giving her spoiled pudding." The blue princess said that line without a hint of shame, even when her mouth was covered in crumbs and her breath reeked of brandy.

"Funny, I thought Elise hated the taste of fruit cake and spirits," Brandy was quite the strong alcohol and this Figgy pudding was laced with extra alcohol due to the strength that was needed to make any servant drunk.

Lucina, seeing she was caught in the act, pouted when she realized her acting dumb routine wasn't working. "Okay, I yield. I admit that I lied, but you must understand, I have been looking forward to eating this pudding all day."

Archer stared at her in the eyes, unblinkingly, for what seemed like ages. Lucina felt a cold sweat run down her temple and down her cheek the whole time he stood quiet. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he sighed.

"I won't judge you. The rules for the fridge are first come first serve, but next time, I would prefer it if you asked before you go rummaging through the kitchen for a utensil."

Lucina thanked Archer for being so forgiving.

"You can thank me by closing that door, you're letting all the cold out and it's going to break the machine."

Lucina apologizes and does as he says, gently closing the door before digging into the desert once more.

0-0-0

While Lucina is preoccupied with eating her pudding, Archer took a moment to look at the Noble Phantasm attached to her hip and perform a structural analysis on it.

Strangely enough, he hadn't had a chance to add it to his Unlimited Blade Works due to how busy he was being a full-time chef for the Order of Heroes and at Chaldea.

Immediately, he was assaulted by the sheer amount of history that crafted this weapon. The Falchion.

An unimaginative name, but its legacy is much greater than its name. It is forged from the tooth of a phantasmal beast, the "divine dragon" Naga, and has been passed down from generation to generation for thousands of years.

It was quite an impressive blade, as it has slain many evils, both born of man and beast. Thankfully, the blade is no Excalibur or god forbid Ea, so it was easy for him to read its nature and history without suffering a headache.

The most recent history of the blade was when it was used against the Fell Dragon Grima.

He saw Lucina's struggles, her pain, and her moments of glory and triumph.

Who would have thought this girl was so willing to go against the course of fate, just to save the world. Part of him hates that kind of the Shiro side of what he calls the Heroic Dumbass Spectrum, but he can overlook her faults and commend her for her work as a leader, even if she failed to follow through to kill that Robin guy.

"You have my thanks for being so lenient with me Emiya and also for making such wonderful food."

"No problem, just don't let me catch you eating in here again or I will tell Chiron to add more reps to your exercises."

Lucina's face pales at the threat then quickly shakes her head, not in disagreement but what seemed to be her shaking thoughts from her head.

"Message received. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go walk off this snack."

Lucina clumsily put the plate down in the sink but was lucky it didn't break. Archer narrowed his eyes and took a closer look at her face, her fair skin was now a slightly pink color.

She then opened the door and accidentally slammed her head into the frame.

"You alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. No need to worry!"

The door closed, leaving Archer by himself. He looked toward the sink and then back to the door.

Lucina is a lightweight, he was going to have to keep that in mind and make a less alcoholic version of that dessert for her next time.

His inner musings were interrupted by the door Lucina exited slamming open, causing Archer to close his eyes, resignation visible on his face.

"Archer, I require the Figgy pudding!" The familiar voice of Mysterious Heroine XX or XX said as she came in through the door, which she had kicked open.

"Sorry XX, but Lucina just finished the last one."

XX froze when he said those words, the horror that made its way to her face was gradual, but her fury when she learned it was Lucina who did it? It was instantaneous.

She clenched her teeth alongside her fists and raised them over her head and dramatically yelled out a 'NOOOO' toward the heavens. It almost looked like she was making a reference of some kind, but Archer couldn't tell. He didn't have the luxury of time to laze around watching TV or movies.

"Thwarted by a lousy Saibah again! She. Will. Pay!"

"No need for that. I gave it to her, so I will just make another batch for you, Is that okay?"

XX groaned in disappointment, "It won't be the same! Figgy pudding tastes better the longer it ages!"

"I'll ask Da Vinci for some help in speeding up the fermenting process. Just please don't kill that girl, she does not deserve it."

XX stared at Archer for a minute before she released an inaudible grumble, conceding her blood feud over the last pudding.

Seeing the crisis averted, Archer then got to work.

*SMACK*

Only to be interrupted by a pair of gloves to the face.

Emiya took a moment to blink in confusion at what just happened before he looked down and noticed the fancy white gloves laying on the wooden floor. His focus shifts toward the man who threw one of the gloves at his face.

He is a butler with medium-long silver hair tied in a ponytail. His butler's outfit is something to be expected of his profession, except for the black armor pieces he wore over it. The man who stood before him was Jakob, the retainer of Corrin. More specifically, the female version of Corrin, the dragon girl who was crushing on master Gudao.

On his left flank is a knight in shining silver armor, which alone is nothing too unusual, if you could ignore the Butler's outfit the man was wearing under his armor. There was only one person he knew who matched this description. Fredrick, the royal guard for the royal family came from the World of Awakening.

Unlike Jakob, he seemed more serious but not hostile toward him.

On the opposite side of Fredrick is a cleric who seemed to have a nasty sleeping disorder due to the dark circles under his eyes.

Emiya didn't recognize this one. Perhaps a new summon? His exhausted-looking face kind of reminds him of that girl from the World of Three Houses.

"Pick them up." the voice of Jakob suddenly cut off his musings.

"Why should I?" He knew why the butler did this, it was clearly a challenge to a duel but indulging them is too much of a pain in the ass.

"Do not play coy Emiya, you know what it means. We are challenging you to a duel!"

Archer could not help but raise a brow," you do realize that I am a Heroic Spirit, correct?"

Jakob waves him off, "yes, yes, I know, but that is hardly a concern these days with the upgrades that summoner is handing out. So Pick. Them. Up."

"And why should I do so?"

"Because, as you know, I am Lady Corrin's retainer, and I have been since she was a child. One of my many, many duties to milady is to make her tea. I have done it for as long as I have been contracted under her, and I have never been challenged by anyone... until now."

Jakob glared at him, "I saw you serve my lady your concoction. The way she smiled in glee with every sip, the way she caressed her cheek when she bit into those accursed crumpets of yours... it has damaged my pride as milady's butler. But that wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back, oh no… the straw was that the next time I served tea to her, she only gave a hum and sipped the tea like it was nothing. I will NOT let this disgrace stand!"

'This guy is just jealous, his crush likes my food more than his.' Archer turned to the other two gentlemen who accompanied him, "so why are all of you here then?"

"It is for a slightly different reason than my fellow Jakob here." Fredrick stood up straighter than he already was as he continued,

"Although it pains me to see Milord Chrom and the entire Ylissian royal family opting to go for your dishes rather than mine, I can't fault them for it. Your meal plans are perfectly balanced, nutritious, and most importantly decent on the palate, so I have no problem with you continuing to provide them with your catering services. Your services also come with the added benefit of being able to shift my priorities elsewhere, like taste testing their meals to ensure their quality and for poisons."

Archer just stared blankly at the man, who just admitted he liked his food, yet at the same time called it 'decent' and suspected his food to be poisoned. Talk about being paranoid, though he can't fault him too much for the latter since it's standard practice for royalty to always have food tasters.

"Uh huh, so what's the issue that bothered you enough to come to complain to me?"

Frederick narrowed his eyes," Very well, I will get to the point. I did not care that you made food for milord and his family, and will continue to let you do so. But, my grievance with you is that you weren't satiated with only stealing my cooking time. Oh no, you also trespassed onto my cleaning duties!"

Fredrick opened the palm of his hand and began to lower his fingers one by one, citing every incident that Archer overstepped his bounds. Archer was about to interrupt him due to how long he was taking to vent but decided not to when he realized the man was just about to finish, "but the most egregious offense of them all was when I found out you were the one who left my Lord Chrom's underwear unattended in a clothes hamper without folding them! I will not allow you to continue encroaching upon my territory!"

Seeing the completely serious look on his face just caused Archer to pinch his brow in frustration. He decided he had enough of talking to this man and just turned to the teen who looked like he just finished an all-nighter cramming session, "I don't believe we've met."

"Name's Dwyer, it's a bit difficult to tell, but I'm technically that guy's son." He pointed his finger toward the instigator of this whole argument, Jakob.

"Technically?"

"My dad actually got together with Lady Corrin, this guy on the other hand married Felicia."

Archer blinked before looking back and forth between them, clearly bewildered by what he was seeing and what he heard.

Jakob looked young enough to be in his mid-twenties, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch if someone of his looks was a new father, but he doubted he might have had a teenage son.

The only other option would be that the butler and his lady had Dwyer early into their teens… or worse.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to stop that train of thought of yours. Despite how we look similar in age, we are father and son and no, there were no minors involved in my birth." Dwyer said with a robotic but drawled tone of voice, it sounded rehearsed but based on how he reacted to his assumptions, it was a common question they were asked.

Archer gave the bow a look, "Do I want to know?"

Dwyer just shrugged, "most do. Curious? I can give you the TLDR if you want."

"I'm good. Your complicated and awkward ancestry is your business, and I have enough taste to not pry into other people's lives. So if you could please just explain why you are here so that I can get started on my meal prep, that would be much appreciated." He'll just chalk this weirdness up to isekai shenanigans and move on.

"Right… Look, I couldn't care less about my pride. I just wanted to know how you did it. I have never tasted such splendid tea before. I can understand why Lady Corrin didn't like my dad's hot leaf juice..."

Jakob was taken aback by his son's comment but recovered with anger in his eyes, "how dare-"

Dwyer cut him off, "...but I just want to see how you do it. I want to understand my enemy and thus improve my own brew and come out on top."

Archer took a moment to look into the boy's eyes and saw a resolute look on his face, one that seemed ready to take on the world if it meant he could have the perfect brew. He could respect that.

He turned back to the aggressor and his other companion and saw his resolve also did not budge. "What are your demands?"

"If one of us wins, you will refrain from ever cooking your meals for our lieges ever again. If they so choose to come to you, you will contact us, and we will prepare their food for them, and you will also be forbidden from completing their chores."

Without grunting or complaining, Archer picked up the gloves from the ground, "Just to let you know, as the party who was challenged, I have the right to choose my weapon."

Jakob smirked, "perhaps if this was a normal duel to the death, that would have been the case, but no. For the sake of fairness, neither party will have the right to choose our weapons."

Archer just raised a brow, "huh?"

Frederick elaborated for him, "We shall assemble before judges at next week's dinner and provide dishes for them to taste. Then they will vote to decide who the winner is."

Archer's demeanor shifted drastically, he had been treating this whole affair as a waste of time and as a joke, but having people challenge his cooking? That lit a fire in his soul.

"Why didn't you just say so from the beginning? I accept your challenge."

The intensity of his glare would have cowed a weaker person, but the three standing before him didn't flinch and only reciprocated his feelings.

The three depart from the kitchen and let Archer start his meal prep.

All of them were too focused on their upcoming duel that they didn't notice the small red-headed girl watching the trio leave.

Author's Note: Here's the late chapter. Sorry for the delay, I was struggling to find a way to describe the sound a fridge makes when it opens and in the end, I just opted to scrap that bit and change it to describe what the Mess hall looks like.

Next chapter we will have Archer square off against the other man servants to prove who is the better househusband.

Once again thanks for reading.