Disclaimer: These are works of purely speculative fiction. It is not intended to infringe on any rights by any of the companies and/or individuals involved in the production of any series mentioned here. Fate Grand Order and all the franchises and series associated with it, are owned by Kinoko Nasu, Notes Co., Ltd. and their affiliates. Similarly, Fire Emblem Heroes is owned by Nintendo Co., Ltd. and their affiliates.
I DO NOT OWN THESE FRANCHISES.
Sister Fanfic: Serious Side Reels - A Grand Order of Heroes Sidestories
Word of the cooking duel between Emiya, Jakob, and Fredrick spread like wildfire. Of course, this caused quite the commotion both on Earth and Askr, which drew a huge crowd when the day of the duel arrived.
Originally, the duel was going to be a small event but after it gained so much traction, the duel was somehow taken over and morphed into something else entirely. All three participants were now surrounded by hundreds of eyes from the heroes and the civilians living in the castle.
"Welcome one and all to Iron Chef: Askr!" The voice of Gudako, who was holding a microphone in her hand, boomed across the crowded courtyard where the competition was taking place.
The courtyard itself was set up with bleachers for the spectators to get a better view of the event. The central area of the courtyard, however, was outfitted with heavy, but portable state-of-the-art kitchen equipment. Three sets of sinks with running water, freezers, fridges, and gas-powered stoves on wheels were all organized neatly for the three participants to use.
"To start off, let's give a warm welcome to our judges!" Gudako gestured toward the judge's table with an open palm.
"On the far left we have Chrom, the Exalt of Yllise from the World of Awakening!"
Chrom waved politely at the crowd, his face adopting a faint smile.
"To his right, we have Corrin, the current queen of Valla from the World of Revelations!"
She too waved at the crowd but unlike Chrom's reserved smile, hers was much more bubbly and cheerful.
"She is also single, but don't get your hopes up because it's rumored that she has her eyes set on becoming a certain cute and adorable someone's sister-in-law!"
The aforementioned girl's smile fell and released an embarrassed squawk when Gudako finished her sentence. She tried to say something but the merchant moved on before she could respond.
"And I'll leave it at that! Next up, to the left of Chrom is the legend herself, the True King of Britain, Artoria Pendragon! ...in her saber form."
The blonde-haired woman, affectionately called Saber by her friends and companions inclined her head forward in greeting.
"Umu. Thank you for having me. I look forward to eating today's dishes."
"Finally, the head judge for this competition, as well as the witness to this duel, the Tongue-Cut Sparrow landlady of Enma-Tei, Beni-Enma!"
The little girl got up and bowed, "Welcome guests. I hope you will enjoy the show we have prepared today." After her introduction, the young girl sat back down.
"And now, let's meet our chefs!" All eyes fell on the three men dressed up in stereotypical chef's outfits, the tall and white baker's hat included.
"The challenged party in this duel of cooking is known by many names, despite the counterclaims said person has about them. Give it up for Archer Emiya!"
Emiya bowed politely.
"Now for the challengers, on the left, we have a butler who has been a retainer for Corrin since he was a boy. Jakob!" Jakob did not boast toward the crowd but merely gave them a small bow much like Emiya did.
"Finally, on the right, we have a man dedicated to serving his Lord dutifully to the best of his abilities no matter what. Whether that be cooking, cleaning, or fighting for him, please welcome Fredrick the Wary!"
Fredrick mimicked his previous two contestants and bowed but said nothing, as he was completely fixed on his task ahead.
"Now with all introductions out of the way, we will go over the terms of this duel. Should Fredrick or Jakob win this duel, Emiya will be forbidden from serving Lady Corrin and the entire royal family of Yllise any of his culinary dishes."
Several voices in the crowd cried out in indignation, many of which belonged to the multitude of Sheperds from different realities.
Jakob did not flinch at the boos aimed at him, but he did feel his heart ache a bit when he saw his lady Corrin send a disappointed look in his direction.
Fredrick, on the other hand, felt his soul die slightly inside when he looked back to see his Lady Lissa, Lucina, and Emmeryn as well as their counterparts cheering for Emiya to win.
"However, if either Fredrick or Jakob lose this duel, they will be forced to wash dishes for the following year for both the kitchens in Chaldea and the Order of Heroes respectively, by themselves."
The two men suddenly shivered. To anyone who doesn't know the two, one would assume that such behavior is a sign of laziness but in truth, the fear is well-earned.
It wouldn't have been a big deal if it were only soldiers and heroes dirtying dishes but alas, the reality was a harsh mistress.
They both glanced at the sole reason for their fear, the blonde judge who was humming happily to herself. Artoria was infamous for leaving behind a mountain of dirty plates, combined with all of her parallel selves on top of the regular staff? The punishment was almost too cruel.
"Also, should either the challenger or challenged provide a subpar dish, no matter the winner, they will be forced to take a mandatory Hell's Kitchen cooking course with the cute and cuddly Beni-Enma! Lucky you!"
Jakob and Fredrick were more confused by this penalty while Archer just exhaled a sigh in resignation.
"The secret ingredient for this dish, for the sake of fairness, has been decided by a third party. The chefs are allowed to make any dish so long as they use the secret ingredient anywhere in their entrees. Anyone who fails to do so will be disqualified! You shall cook against each other with no outside help. Should you ignore this rule, you will be disqualified!"
She gestures towards the various equipment, "every ingredient, spice, and condiment has been provided for you. All the spices have been gathered from both Earth and Askr so you have plenty of options to choose from. You have one hour to complete your dish, then once it's up, a buzzer will go off and you will stop cooking."
Gudako takes a moment to drink some water, "sorry, all this rule explaining is making my throat dry. Anyway! We will now show you the secret ingredient!"
A drum rolls as berseker Heracles carefully wheels in a large food cart draped in a red silk cloth.
"And the main ingredient is… Bear meat!" Gudako pulls away the cloth, revealing multiple pieces of skinned and butchered bear meat.
"Oh for the love of Naga, why did it have to be bear meat?"
Fredrick cursed at his luck since he abhors bear meat but it is one of his lord's favorite meats and seeing as he is one of the judges, it is his sworn duty to make him the best bear dish he can.
Jakob just sighs, "well, at least it's bear season. So the meat shouldn't smell too bad."
Emiya, on the other hand, was already mentally cycling through the various blends of spices and marinades he could use to remove the bear meat smell but he stopped for a moment when he felt an intense look aimed toward him.
Saber was making a certain two handed gesture, one that immediately caused him to throw away his plans to cater to her request. He gave a small chuckle, "the things I do for her I swear."
Emiya initially wanted to use lower quality equipment to make it a fair fight, and also as a flex to show the upstarts he doesn't need fancy modern equipment to beat them, but his hands were now tied. The temperature control of modern stoves would make this cookoff too easy of a win but it was what was provided with so they were out of luck.
"Now with everything said and done, you may now... Begin!"
A loud bell rang and synchronously, the three gentlemen hurried over to the table and took the best chunks of bear meat they could identify with them.
Fredrick took some pieces of meat and using a knife, started to cut off the fat.
It was an action mirrored by Archer and Jakob.
All three chefs became hyper-focused on their dishes, paying little mind to the noise trying to distract them. It was only them and their food.
In the background, Gudako hyped up the match like a professional and kept the audience engaged with her ramblings.
When Gudako felt unsure of what was happening in front of her, she would consult with the expert master chef Beni-Enma, who would also chip in with some explanations. Explanations that admittedly went over everyone's heads, as Beni favored using gastronomy jargon in her descriptions.
Some time passed and the three men were hard at work creating their dishes, all the while, the sweet smell of meat wafted in the air, causing a legion of heroes' bellies to rumble in hunger.
Finally, after an hour of cooking, the buzzer went off, signaling to the chefs that their time has ended and that the tasting will begin.
0-0-0
"Time's up, step away from your dishes!" Gudako declared.
All three contestants stepped back.
"Chef Fredrick, please present your dish."
Fredrick moved toward the judging table, striking his usual titular and iconic Fredrick pose, meanwhile, some helpers placed the covered dishes in front of the judges.
"I made a roast bear steak grilled in duck fat, and garnished with rosemary. It is Milord Chrom's favorite."
The servants removed the lid, revealing a rather good-looking steak. Sure enough, it had a big branch of rosemary over it.
All the judges cut into their pieces with elegance and took a bite. There was a tense silence that fell over the table. One so intense that even Fredrick broke into a small sweat.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Corrin spoke, "It's bear."
"Yup. Definitely bear." Chrom agreed with her.
"Hmm." Artoria meanwhile, only hummed, her eyes showing she was grateful for the food but nothing else.
"This steak... I will admit the presentation is worthy of a 3-star diner but the taste makes me want to brush my teeth using pure wasabi and use Everclear as mouthwash."
She took her fork and scraped the edges of the steak. She scraped, and scraped and scraped the same spot until a small pile of black soot was sitting on her plate, "there's a sweet spot between perfectly charred and burned. You crossed that line over a mile ago."
Fredrick straightened his back like he usually does when he feels resolute about something, "I had to make sure that any and all trichinosis present in the meat would be dead before I fed it to milord. It is better to be safe than sorry."
"Food safety is paramount. That I can agree with, but it should never be used as an excuse for a horrible dish!"
Fredrick merely closed his eyes in resignation.
"You barely even tried to remove the smell, my mouth tastes like a bear cave at the end of winter, did you not think to taste your own food before serving it to us?"
"I... Uhmmm... Don't really like bear meat..."
"...I understand your dilemma, Ser Fredrick. Everyone has a right to like and dislike certain foods."
"Thank-" Beni Enma put her hand up, showing him the universal gesture that she was not finished speaking yet.
"But, and this is a big but, a great cook must never shirk away from tasting their dish before presenting it to guests!"
She slammed her hand on her table, which was so loud it startled everyone in the nearest vicinity.
"You fail! Next!"
Fredrick hung his head in shame and walked away, his slighly burn steaks were removed from the judge's table.
"Oof... And Fredrick's out for the count! Oh well, contestant Jakob, please present your dish!"
Jakob stepped forward and cleared his throat.
"Greetings milord and ladies, today I have made for you a wild game stew with chopped vegetables, rabbit, venison, and of course, bear meat."
The servants carefully brought in his dish and unveiled its contents.
The judges took a moment to inspect the bowl of food. Using their spoon, they all went in and scooped up a bit of everything from the soup to get a proper taste of the dish. Some decided to blow on their soup to cool it down.
Artoria, on the other hand, didn't care and took the bite without cooling it down. She took a bite and chewed slowly but elegantly, her head occasionally tilting to the side and back which meant she was doing her best to judge what she was eating.
After a minute, she nodded while giving a hum. Showing clear approval of Jakob's dish.
"Wow Jakob, you outdid yourself this time. This is much better than the usual wild game stew you make while we are on the road!"
Jakob preened when he heard his lady Corrin's praise. "Only the best for you milady."
"I agree. This stew is wonderful, it's definitely filling and would lift any warrior's spirits."
Jakob bowed slightly at the liege of his comrade, "thank you, milord."
Now it was time to see what Beni-Enma would say.
"It's decent I'd say. The bad bear smell is barely noticeable but in a good way and the addition of rabbit and venison is expected. Overall a very boring dish but as Chrom-dono said, it serves its purpose of keeping a soldier fed."
Jakob let a smile grace his lips, happy hearing the tiny master chef's judgment.
"Don't mistake my words. It's decent but you've got a long, long way to go before I'd consider you worthy of serving my guests. Your broth is a bit too greasy and the size of your vegetables is too thick. Your carrots are so undercooked you might as well have ripped them straight out of the ground, brushed away the dirt, chopped it up, and put in the pieces at the last minute."
A lone drop of sweat trailed down his forehead. Then he bowed, "I apologize milady, but I underestimated the thawing time of the venison and rabbit that was provided for us and was unable to-"
"Jakob boyo, piece of advice. Stop wasting my time by making excuses and just say 'I'm sorry chef, I will cook my carrots longer next time' am I understood?"
Jakob swallowed a lump of saliva down his throat, then grunted out a response, "I'm sorry chef, I will cook my carrots longer next time."
Beni-Enma nodded approvingly, "you are forgiven young one. You have much to learn but you still have potential in you. You may leave now."
Jakob bowed, "thank you, chef," and stepped back while the helpers came around and picked up the empty plates.
"Alright. Now for the last contestant, Emiya please present your dish." Gudako said.
Emiya made his way toward the table flanked by the servants bringing in his dish. The lids were removed to reveal a plain western hamburger with thick-cut fries on the side and a tiny condiment bowl filled with a red sauce, which was most likely ketchup.
"I made a bear meat pepper jack cheeseburger, with ground bear meat mixed with various spices and cooked well done with lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions, and homemade Japanese mayonnaise and ketchup. On the side, I made air-fried thick-cut fries seasoned with pink Himalayan salt, and some of that homemade ketchup for your fries."
All the judges, except for Beni-Enma, were looking at the burgers with anticipation and in Artoria's case, raw, unadulterated hunger.
"Enjoy."
And so they did. Taking their first bites, there was a cacophony of pleased noises of approval.
Artoria was too busy stuffing her face to say anything but it was obvious that of all the foods she had tasted, this one was the best. Corrin and Chrom were in similar states but much more subdued
Beni-enma, on the other hand, just seemed content with the dish.
"The dish itself is basic and I expected something a bit fancier from you, but other than that, the quality is superb as always. The meat is well done but still juicy, the pepper jack cheese, while a strange option, goes well with the cumin and what I suspect is lime juice that you used earlier."
She took some homemade fries, dipped them in the homemade ketchup, and bit into them. The texture is so crunchy that it could be heard from the stands, "the pink Himalayan salt does a fantastic job of amplifying the crunchiness much more than normal salt. And using an air fryer over oil is also unexpected but a good choice for those guests who are concerned with eating fatty cooking oils.
Good job, as I would expect from one of my best pupils."
Archer bowed gracefully, "Thank you very much Beni-Enma-sama."
And with that, all the dishes were presented and the judges began their judging.
0-0-0
"We have come to a conclusion." Corrin said as she was chosen to be the one who would deliver the verdict, "by default, in third place due to Lady Beni-Enma's decision was Fredrick."
"Wooo!"
"Hell Yeah!"
Fredrick already felt like he had been punched in the gut, but now he just felt like his soul was leaving his body.
"Ehem... And the second place goes to... Jakob! Which makes Archer Emiya the winner!"
The crowd clapped in excitement. Seeing how many of his comrades, and especially his lady, were cheering at his loss broke him and Jakob slumped to the ground like a defeated and beaten boxer.
"Now then, per the terms of the agreement, Jakob and Fredrick are now banned from serving their lord's food and must attend Lady Beni-Enma's Hell's Kitchen until she deems them worthy of serving them once more. Also, they must now wash the dishes of both mess halls from Chaldea and The Order of heroes for the following year, by themselves."
Gudako turned to the two stooges, who were still somberly looking like they were on the verge of death.
"And so, that concludes the Iron Chef battle! Be sure to pick up your Mama Emiya t-shirts at Anna's kiosk by the entrance. It's buy one get one free!"
With that said, the duel had come to its conclusion.
0-0-0
"Sir Emiya."
Archer turned toward the two former competitors who were standing in front of him, their hands outstretched toward him.
"We admit defeat, you have bested us and we would like to let bygones be bygones."
Archer looked between the two and raised a brow when he noticed Chrom and Corrin standing nearby, "did your lieges force you to do this or is it genuine?"
"This is through our own volition, we may have challenged you to a duel but we aren't savages who don't know the meaning of the word 'sportsmanship'" Fredrick also extended his hand a little closer toward him, "so please, accept our sincere concessions."
Archer looked down at their hands, then back up to their faces. Finally, he accepted the gestures and shook both their hands, "good game. And chin up, just because you lost doesn't mean you are unworthy of being with your lieges."
Jakob smiles, "thank you for your kind words."
Just as they were about to leave, a small, fast figure jumps up, grabs their ears, and pulls them downward, hard.
"Ow!"
"Ugh"
When they opened their eyes, their faces turned pale. A set of crimson eyes was staring into their souls.
"You boys didn't think I'd forget about your slight against my authority did you?" Beni-Enma twisted their ears slightly, causing the grown men to hiss in pain.
"You come into my kitchen and make demands out of one of my cooks and think you'll get away with it with a slap on the wrist? Oh no. You two are going to go through an extra special culinary curriculum. Come. Your training at Hell's Kitchen awaits."
The two tried to protest but they could not stop the small girl from pulling them away into the sunset.
Archer stared at the scene with amusement, but his moment was interrupted by the voice of Corrin asking a question.
"Wait, didn't Dwyer also challenge you that day?" Corrin asked.
Archer waved her off, "no he didn't. He only wanted to observe me making tea and so I told him of another heroic spirit who was much better at making tea than myself and even Beni-Enma herself."
Corrin tilted her head, "who could that person be?"
0-0-0
Meanwhile, inside a traditional Japanese tea room, a silver-haired boy and a gray-haired petite woman are sitting while facing each other.
The boy's name is Dwyer and he had originally hoped to see how Archer made his tea so well but was told that there was someone who was leagues ahead of him.
The someone who is sitting in front of him is Sen-no-Rikyu. She is apparently one of the greatest tea makers in Earth's history and he had been given a golden opportunity to apprentice under her at the behest of Gudako.
As anyone who wished to become an apprentice to a famous master, even with the weight of the names recommending him, he still had to prove himself worthy of her lessons.
"You may begin."
Dwyer nodded and started to do his work. He had practiced the ways of the Hoshidan tea ceremony in his youth. Sadly, due to the anti-Hoshidan sentiments in Nohr, he had to keep some of his tools and methods a secret.
This meant that his bastardized modifications to the Hoshidan's tea ceremony he could remember would likely get in his way, but he had to made sure to go over the basics with Sakura earlier in the week so he could avoid offending his potential future master. Now that he was here, all he could do was prepare the best damn tea he could possibly make.
After a tense but fruitful, at least in his opinion, few moments, Dwyer finished preparing his tea. He carefully poured the green substance into a ceramic tea bowl.
Finally, he presented his final product to her.
The woman took the cup graciously with her dainty fingers and stared at the brew for a moment.
It was hard for Dwyer to get a read on her emotions due to how stoic and robotic her expressions were. Even after she blew on her teacup and took a sip, he was completely clueless about what was going on in her mind.
The woman hummed before putting the teacup down.
"This tea… it's barely passable." her eyes met with his, "for a Westerner, an other-worlder on top of that, it is commendable that you have reached this far with such poor technique."
Her black, pupilless eyes stared into his soul which caused him to unconsciously gulp in fear.
"You are much too tense. The Way of Tea is meant for the guest and host to relax and enjoy the moment. You worry too much about getting the brew done correctly to impress me and as a result, that has lowered the quality of your tea."
Dwyer could do nothing but look down in shame. Was this how far his tea could go?
"But, despite all that, your passion for making great tea is noteworthy. Young Dweyer, you have plenty of untapped potential and thus I accept you as one of my pupils."
He bowed his head, his forehead touching the tatami mat under him, "thank you for having me sensei."
When he looked up, he was caught off guard by the older woman's serene smile on her face.
He was in awe of her ethereal beauty.
A Nohrian citizen becoming an apprentice to a "Hoshidan" Tea Master. Dwyer could hear his Nohrian ancestors rolling in their graves, but he didn't care. Let them roll.
For he had a passion that he wished to cultivate, one which he will do anything to achieve.
Author's Note: Wew, somehow I managed to squeeze out 4k words this chappie. I had 1K yesterday and now I have no idea where the other 3k came from. I really got into the zone this time. Unlike the author of Food Wars, I don't have any cooks to consult with and I had to make do with google-sensei. Anyway, Here's the bear meat running gag for this fic.
I know some people wanted me to include Peri and and Oscar since they apparently the best cooks in Heroes, but I didn't include them. I don't know Oscar and I personally hate Peri, I'd feel much safer around Gasai Yuno than Peri any day of the week.
Though i did include Sen-no-Ryku. Shout outs to Kleave guy and TrueVirtuoso for their suggestions. Hopefully I didn't make her seem ooc.
Bear Stew:
On Youtube: 'Binging with Babish: Bear Stew from Red Dead Redemption 2'
Bear Meat Burger:
Google 'Bear Meat Burger' and the first result should come up from Miss Allie's Kitchen.
Frederick's steak was just inspired by normal steak recipes but there are a bunch you can look up on google.
Once again, thanks for reading.