Random Incorrect Quotes COUNTRYHUMANS

by MattMyBeloved

This is my AU! The UK and mostly everyone made up for all of the wars in the past and now they get along quite fine. I will do ships, no weird ones though. This is my AU so please do not get upset on how I portray these countries in the Incorrect quotes. I will be using the Axis Powers, Past Countries, and Empires. If you have any questions feel free to comment them! M for cursing.

3. Axis Children and Russia

#1

Russia: Two bros chillin' in a hot tub five feet apart cuz-
Japan: *crashes through the door* THEY WON'T CONFESS THEIR UNDYING LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER!
Russia: *takes a step back* ...Are you okay?
Japan: They either have too much pride to confess or they're both afraid to ruin the relationship they have now...
*Meanwhile*
Italy: What's up with them?
Germany: I don't know, but seeing how Russia is gripping the railing for dear life I'd say Japan and another ship.

#2

Japan: What do you think is the most flexible material?
Germany: Graphene...?
Russia, snickering: Now tell him what you think it is.
Italy: *arms crossed* Tom and Jerry.

#3

Italy: What if there's multiple you's living in alternate dimensions and your dreams are you viewing what your other selves are doing?
Japan: *existential crisis mode activated*
Russia: *now in intimate deep thought*
Germany: Why must I put up with you?

#4

Italy: Y'know, when I was your age-
Russia: You know when I was your height-
Germany: ...
Japan: ...
Italy, being the shortest of the four: Listen-

#5

Italy: Egg *puts a whole egg in his mouth, with the shell on, and chews it*
Russia, in the corner of the room: ...ew...
Japan: *physically gagging*
Germany: *trying to stop Italy* NO! ITALY! SPIT THAT OUT!

#6

Italy, speaking to Russia in an argument: Your not important! Your not cool! Your dumb! No one likes you! You have a problem learning how to read! If that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's to bad!
Russia: *literally sobbing*
Japan: *trying not to laugh*
Germany: *trying to comfort Russia while staring at Italy in shock*

#7

Italy: *running around frantically, shouting in Italian*
Japan: *confused asf trying to eat his sushi*
Germany: *trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with Italy*
Russia: *sitting on the couch observing* What the fuck? DO A FLIP!
Italy: *deadass does a backflip*

#8

Italy, sitting in a chair with a water gun, filled with lemon juice, smirking* First of all *looks at Russia* Your Jordans are completely fake *shoot's Russia in the face with the water pistol*
Russia: *falls over, holding his eyes in pain*
Italy: *smirks and looks at Japan* Second, Japan, you get no bitches *shoots him in the face with the water pistol*
Japan: *falls back, holding his eyes*
Italy: And finally, *looks at Germany* You my friend haven't even thought about buying Spotify premium. *shoots him in the face abt 8 times*
Germany: *starts yelling incoherent German words at Italy*
Italy: YOU WANNA BREAK FROM THE ADDS!?

#9

Russia: Crazy facts! You can buy stuff with money! You can swim in a pool! Energy drinks can give you energy! Lemonade is made out of lemons!
Japan: I... *near tears* I knew he was dumb but what the f-
Germany: *standing there, frozen and dumbfounded by Russia's idiocy*
Italy: I vote we put him down-

#10

Japan, laughing on the other side of the room with Russia: Record this bro
Russia, wheeze-laughing: Im recording this right now *pulls out his phone, recording*
Italy, smiling at the floor while crying: Im /ecrying rn leave me alone, hubaduba
Germany: Hes being emo guys dont worry, *walks over to Italy* Uh Ita?
Italy: Russia traumatized me, Russia has been traumatizing me.
Russia: What? No I havent.
Japan: *trips and falls, making more noise*
Italy, looking at Japan: Shut up!
Germany: Russia we know what you did.
Russia: No one cares, shut up-
Germany: And It traumatizes us.
Japan, running out of the room: AME! WE NEED YOUR HELP!