A THIN LINE
Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter.
Very basic Welsh translations (From Google translate I'm so sorry)
Mam = Mum (Mom if you're in a country who spells it like that)
Nhad = Dad
Taid = Grandpa
Mab = Son
Bachgen Babi = Baby Boy
Remus, Sirius, Peter, and James sit around in their dorm. They're teasing Peter for his crush on Dorcas Meadowes whom he has known since they were young children.
"All right, all right," Peter tells them, clearly having had enough of their jokes.
"What about you, Pads? Any feelings for a special someone?" James asks, a mocking tone but not cruel, Peter rolls his eyes at his friends before turning to look at Sirius.
Sirius clears his throat awkwardly, "Erm, actually...yes. Well, not a crush. We're dating. Have been for couple of weeks."
The other three Marauders look at Sirius in shock.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Remus asks in confusion.
"And who is she?" James adds, a mischievous gleam in his eye.
Sirius bites his lip nervously, then takes a deep breath and clears his throat once more, "Gideon Prewett."
"…oh." James clears his throat, "Well, he's a fit enough bloke, I guess," He says awkwardly but clearly making an effort to show his best friend that everything's okay. Sirius flushes slightly as he nods his agreement.
"Good at chess," Peter adds in. It's always shocking to the others how good at that game Peter is, so this comment is certainly high praise. Sirius smiles a little, he'd been sick to his stomach with worry about coming out to his friends.
James looks at Remus pointedly, nodding his head to Sirius. Only Remus doesn't say anything, just looks with wide eyes between Sirius and James a few times. James frowns, cocking his head to the side in confusion. Remus swallows harshly.
"Er, everything okay?" Peter asks, watching the interaction between the two and bringing Sirius' attention to it.
"Good question. Moony?" James asks expectantly.
"Mmhmm, fine," Remus replies curtly.
"Erm, Moons. D-Do you have a problem wi-with me?" Sirius asks, looking afraid.
Remus hesitates. If these boys can look past his condition, surely he can look past…that. Remus swallows awkwardly again, "No," He replies.
Sirius narrows his eyes suspiciously, "So if I had Gid up here, and started snogging him, you'd be fine?" Remus cringes and looks like he swallowed a lemon. "You're homophobic." It's not a question.
"I'll get over it," Remus promises, sounding almost pleading.
Somehow, none of them think it will be that easy.
Remus shrinks away from the others. His friends are only used to seeing him do that when he's feeling particularly ashamed of his condition. When words like 'monster' and 'dangerous' and 'deserve to die' start coming out of his mouth.
It's the recognition of that alone that convinces the others Remus really does see that he's in the wrong here.
"I'll get over it," Remus says again.
James nods, "Good." He makes sure to say it in a way that shows he expects that to happen quickly, but also that no one is leaving Remus because of this and no one is truly mad at him for it. Remus sighs in relief, nodding. But it's an awkward night of silence and little sleep that comes to them all.
"Siri!" The Marauders turn in the hallway to find Gideon Prewett moving towards them. He clears his throat, "Erm, hi, how are you?" He asks awkwardly.
James snickers, "We know, Mate." Gideon looks at him in confusion.
"I told them last night," Sirius explains, flushing slightly.
Gideon smirks, "The Sirius Black, blushing."
Sirius shoves him very lightly, "Shut up," he says, but can't keep the smile off his face.
Remus winces slightly and looks away. James stomps on his foot. "OW, Jesus, Prongs!" James just glares at him, Remus looks away sheepishly.
"Wha…?" Gideon asks, trailing off when Sirius shakes his head.
"Don't worry about it, my friends are insane this isn't news so breakfast?" Sirius doesn't wait for a response before he nods and starts walking, "Breakfast is a wonderful idea, let's go."
"Remus? Hellooo?" Remus snaps out of his daydream to see Lily watching him in concern. "I've been trying to get your attention for five minutes. If something's going on, we can talk about it, but if you won't do that and we aren't studying than we're just wasting time here."
Remus clears his throat, "Sorry, it's just…I'm trying to deal with something and I don't know how. The guys are getting impatient about it and I get why but it's not exactly helping."
"If it's difficult they should be more understanding, then," Lily replies.
"Lils, I know you don't like them, but in this case, I promise you, it's me that's being a tosser."
Lily frowns and puts her hand over his on the table, "Talk to me, Rem. What's going on?"
Remus debates for a moment before he sighs, whole body seeming to deflate. "I'm…well," Remus cringes, "a bit homophobic."
Lily raises an eyebrow, pulling her hand back as she leans back in her chair, "I see."
"I know it's stupid, that there's nothing wrong with people…like that…but I just can't shake the feeling that it's…" Remus trails off.
"That it's…?" Lily prompts.
Remus sighs again, "Wrong."
Lily nods slowly, "Do you remember how long it took before Sirius would take something I or any other muggle-born tried to hand him? He'd been raised with such a toxic view of muggle-borns that, even disagreeing with his family and not truly believing it, he still couldn't get it out of his head. And it took a long time, and a lot of desensitising before the day came that I passed him a hand out in class and he took it."
"You think I'll be able to get over it?"
"I think that you've never been in a position to be confronted by this and maybe didn't realise the extent of how you feel about it. But yes, I think you'll be able to get over it. It's just going to take some time," Lily tells him, "Just remind the others that you logically know there's nothing wrong with it, and you're trying to feel that too."
Remus nods and smiles slightly, "Thanks Lily."
"Anytime."
Remus walks into the dorm that afternoon, feeling a little lighter than he has for the last week, only to be met with Sirius and Gideon snogging. Remus is comfortable enough in his masculinity to admit that the sound he makes is most definitely a squeal.
"Remus!" Sirius explains, eyes wide as he and Gideon pull apart.
Remus looks between them, face screwed up in disgust before he storms out of the room.
"Moony?" Peter asks as he passes he and James.
Remus pulls up short, looking between the two, "I'm sorry," He says, tears in his eyes before he pushes past them and leaves the common room.
A moment later, Sirius comes rushing down to the common room along with Gideon who stalks away rather angrily.
"Sirius?" James asks his brother, sounding concerned. Sirius' face twists with distress as he grabs his hair and paces. "Okay, dorm, now," James decides, taking Sirius' elbow and leading him up the stairs with Peter.
"What happened?" Peter asks his friend after James has gotten him to sit down and taken his hands to keep him from pulling at his hair.
"Gideon and I were kissing and Remus walked in," Sirius explains, almost a whisper. James and Peter exchange looks of understanding, worry, and anger over the top of Sirius' head. "You know that look he gets on his face when Moony accidentally scratches us? When he looks so damned disgusted by what he is that we can't imagine how he even walks around with that much self-hatred weighing him down?" The other two nod, Sirius pulls his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around his legs. "He looked at me like that. Like he thinks as little of me as he does of himself, now. Like I'm sick too."
"Hey!" James snaps, "You are not sick, there is nothing wrong with you. There is no way in hell Remus actually thinks of you the way he does Moony. Clearly he was not at all expecting to be confronted with that, especially so soon, given everything, but he does not think of you like that." Sirius doesn't look convinced. James grabs his chin and makes him look at him, "Moony loves you, like he loves us, and like we love him and you. We're family, I'm not going to let this tear us apart. I'll talk to him, it'll be okay."
Sirius nods, but curls even further in on himself. "Gideon's annoyed that I didn't mention one of my best mates is a homophobe. Can't understand why I still talk to him." James and Peter don't look happy at that, Sirius sighs, "He's not trying to tell me who to be friends with or anything, he just knows how hard it was for me to come out and doesn't like that I'm living with someone who clearly hates it. I tried to explain that Remus doesn't want to be like that, but I don't think he believes it."
"I'll talk to Remus, Gideon will believe you if he can see Remus getting better with it," James tells him.
"I hope so."
"Remus, we need to talk," James tells him, shutting the dorm door before he can leave for breakfast. It's been three days since 'the snogging incident' but James hasn't been able to have the conversation he promised Sirius he would have because Remus has been, rather adeptly, avoiding them.
"Prongs –"
"No, don't. Shut up and let me talk." Remus snaps his mouth shut and looks to the ground, nodding. James nods too, "Good. Sirius told us what happened. He thinks you hate him. Like, how much you hate Moony, sort of hate."
Remus flinches, "I'm sorry."
"Yes, so you said. But it's not enough," James tells him, "We know you've got issues with this, and we're trying to be understanding, but you sent Sirius into a borderline panic attack and that could have gotten really ugly, really quick."
"I-I…" Remus trails off, digging his nails into his forearm.
James recognises the signs of Remus' self-hatred spiralling and grabs his hands. He sits him down on the bed and tries to get eye contact only to find Remus' eyes screwed shut. "Remus, will you look at me please?" Remus shakes his head rapidly. "Remus –"
"No, no, I can't…I can't." Remus' breathing is reaching hyperventilating levels, "I'm sorry," Remus tells him pleadingly, shaking from head to toe, "I-I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to upset him, I don't want to be like this, I don-I don't…please," Remus says quickly, stutteringly.
James puts an arm around Remus' shoulders, putting a hand over Remus' eyes. The effect is instantaneous, Remus crumples into him, breathing slowing though James can feel the tears streaming from his eyes. "It's going to be okay, Remus. We'll work it out. No one is leaving you, no one hates you, you're one of us." Remus shakes his head again, James moves his hand from his eyes and just holds his friend close. "We know you don't mean to feel this way, and we'll help you as much as we can. It's going to be okay."
"I'm sorry," Remus tells him again.
James sighs, nodding, "I know, Moons. I know."
Remus takes a deep breath, spotting Gideon and Sirius sitting by the common room fire. He steels himself before clearing his throat slightly and walking over. "Hey, erm, Padfoot?" Sirius looks up uncertainly, Gideon taking Sirius' hand and narrowing his eyes at Remus defensively. Remus' eyes flick to their joined hands before quickly looking away and swallowing harshly. He shifts uncomfortably, clearing his throat again before looking at them again. "I, uh…I'm sorry about the other day. I shouldn't have reacted like I did."
"It's okay, Remus," Sirius tells him.
"No," Remus replies, sounding annoyed, though at himself more than anything. "It's not okay, and I know that. I promise, I'll get better at this. I'm sorry I upset you." Remus' eyes flick to Gideon for a moment, "Both of you."
Gideon seems honestly surprised by this and doesn't seem to know how to react. Sirius smiles at him, "Thanks Moons."
Remus smiles awkwardly and nods before he hurries away, only really feeling like he can breathe again when the common room door shuts behind him.
"Hey Gideon!" Sirius calls out as he all but bounces up to his boyfriend in the hall. Gideon grins at him, throwing an arm over his shoulders as the two continue walking, Sirius snaking an arm around his waist. "So, we're having a little get together in the common room tonight. Frank's girlfriend Alice is bringing a few of her friends, and we've invited King. I was wondering if you and Fab wanted to come along?"
Gideon hesitates a moment, "Does Lupin know you're inviting me?"
The happiness in Sirius' eyes dims slightly, "Yeah. He knows you don't really like him so he's switching beds with Kingsley for the night."
"Oh sure," Gideon says with a scoff, "He's leaving because he knows I don't like him."
"Well, you don't," Sirius replies awkwardly.
"I don't like the way he treats you and looks down on us!"
"Gid-"
"No, I'm sorry Sirius. I-I can't do this anymore," Gideon tells him, pulling away from Sirius. "I can't be with someone who allows his friends to be like that."
"He's working on it!" Sirius defends.
"You don't just get over homophobia, Sirius. He hates us, he hates you. Or a part of you at least."
"So what, it's you or him?" Sirius asks angrily, feeling tears in his eyes.
"No," Gideon tells him, cupping his cheek with his hand, "I would never ask you to make that choice." Gideon sighs, stepping back, "I know you think you can put up with Remus' bullshit long enough for him to deal with whatever deep-seated issues he's got going on here, but I can't. I'm not going to ask you to choose, Sirius. So I'm sorry, but I can't be with you anymore." Gideon looks genuinely remorseful as he walks away.
Sirius stands in the hallway, shock on his face even as tears stream from his eyes. Then his gaze turns cold and angry as he stalks back to Gryffindor tower.
Remus and Peter are doing homework while James throws and catches his snitch when the door is thrown open, bashing the wall loudly. The three look up in shock to find Sirius, eyes red from crying and anger etched on his face.
"I HOPE YOU'RE FUCKING HAPPY NOW!" Sirius screams at Remus who looks to the others to see if they know what's going on. Peter shrugs while James shakes head in confusion.
Remus turns back to Sirius and clears his throat, "Erm, Pads, what are you talking about?"
"Gideon broke up with me," Sirius says, anger fading to despair for only a moment before it's back in full force. "He broke up with me because he couldn't deal with you, you and your hatred and disgust all the fucking time. He was right to!" Sirius spits at him, "He shouldn't have to put up with that bullshit. And neither should I!" With that, Sirius goes into his fourposter and charms the curtains shut and silent.
James and Peter look at Remus warily for a second, he doesn't seem to know what to do. Then he gets up and walks out of the room.
Remus walks down a random hallway in Hogwarts, not even sure where he's going. He doesn't know how to feel, he ruined his friend's relationship but, he can't help feeling a little relieved that he doesn't have to see it anymore. Though, really, the end of this relationship doesn't change that Sirius is…like that. Remus sighs in frustration, wishing he could just get over this already so that everyone can be happy. Of all the ways he thought he'd ruin his friendships and be too much trouble to deal with, he really didn't think this would be how it happened.
Just then, Gideon rounds the corner into the hallway, stops when he sees Remus, and then starts walking back the way he came.
"Gideon! Wait!" Remus calls out, suddenly realising what he needs to do.
"I think you've done enough, Lupin," He replies coldly.
"I agree, that's why I want to talk to you."
Gideon turns around in confusion, "What are you talking about?"
Remus takes a breath, reminding himself that he has to do this, it's the right thing to do. "Don't end things with Sirius."
"It's a bit late for tha-"
"I'll stay away." Gideon blinks at him, Remus swallows around the lump in his throat, "I'll stay away from them, and you. Please, Sirius…he really…well – erm – cares for – er – you," Remus says, Gideon narrows his eyes at the stuttering. Remus clears his throat, "Don't leave him because of me. You mean a lot to him and I don't want to hurt him any more than I have. So I'll go and you two can be happy…together."
Gideon frowns at him, then walks closer and nods. "Okay. If you're really gone, then okay. I didn't want to make him choose but –"
"If it's a decision you and I come to, he won't ever have to. And he'll be happy, which is what we both want here," Remus says.
Gideon nods, "All right, Lupin. I'll talk to him."
Remus nods, "I'll keep my distance." Gideon holds a hand out for Remus to shake and officialise their deal. Remus recoils slightly, then winces at himself. Gideon rolls his eyes. "Er…sorry."
Remus is walking away when Gideon calls out,
"For what it's worth, Lupin," He says, "I believe now that you tried."
"Well for what it's worth," Remus replies, "I believe you now when you said it wouldn't work."
Sirius stops moving, uncertain how to proceed, when he nearly walks into Gideon in the Gryffindor Common Room.
"Sirius, hey, I was looking for you." Sirius' eyes light up with hope, grief from the break up still clear in his eyes and Gideon feels a twist in his heart knowing that he caused so much distress in someone he cares deeply for. "Remus came to talk to me," He says. Sirius winces. "He asked me to talk to you, see if we could give this thing another go. He said we both want you to be happy and he's right, so we're both going to do whatever we can to make that happen. That is, if you'll give me another chance?"
"I…" Sirius hesitates for a moment, long enough that Gideon wonders if he ruined every chance he had with Sirius. Then Sirius throws his arms around his neck and kisses him passionately. Gideon smiles into the kiss, happily returning it as he wraps his arms around Sirius. Eventually the two pull back, leaning their foreheads against each other.
"Honestly, broke up for one night and half of an afternoon, you'd think it had been ten bloody years," Fabian complains, Gideon glares at his brother but stops when he sees it made Sirius laugh.
Sirius once more spends the night with his curtains charmed shut and silent, but this time it's for a totally different reason.
It's the next morning that James goes to wake Remus and finds the bed hasn't been slept in. A quick look around shows Remus' stuff all gone as well.
"Guys, where's Moony?" James asks, everyone looks around the room in confusion.
"Is his stuff still in the bathroom?" Frank asks, as Gideon grabs Sirius' hand to comfort him.
Peter quickly goes to check, "No, it's gone. His stuff has been totally cleaned out."
"What exactly did he say he was going to do to 'keep me happy'?" Sirius asks Gideon suspiciously.
Gideon's eyes widen, "He said he was going to keep his distance, I didn't think that meant moving out! Where is he planning to go?"
"Why the hell would he think leaving would make me happy?" Sirius asks, incredulous and worried.
"H-He said he believed I was right when I said he wouldn't be able to get over being homophobic."
"So he's trying to remove himself from the situation all together," Peter realises. Sirius buries his face in his hands.
"I'm sorry, babe, I promise I didn't know he was going to do this. I just thought he'd stay away when I was around, I didn't think you'd mind that," Gideon explains.
Sirius sighs, nodding, "Don't worry, Gid, I don't blame you. But we need to find him before he decides to remove himself from the equation a little more permanently."
"What, like, leave the school?" Gideon asks.
The remaining three Marauders exchange grave looks.
"Not exactly."
"Okay, we'll split up and search the castle. He's got to be here somewhere," James says as the three remaining Marauders, Frank, and Gideon come down from the dorm.
"If it's Remus you're looking for, don't bother," Lily tells them from where she sits at a table doing work. The group look at her in confusion. "He's staying in my dorm."
"What?" Peter asks in confusion, then suddenly realises who he is talking to and literally takes a few steps away.
"I saw him leaving last night. He told me what was going on a while ago but said things all came to a head and he had to leave. So I told him to come stay with us for a while, let things cool down." Lily frowns at them, "I know things are complicated, and you're probably worried, but I think some distance from the situation will help him come to terms with everything."
"How did he even get up there? The stairs should have stopped him," Gideon points out.
"The charm is pretty intuitive, if you've got a good reason for being up there, it usually lets you up," Sirius explains to his boyfriend.
"Even the castle thinks Remus should stay there for a while," Peter comments, looking down-trodden.
"Look, if the others leave, can I talk to him?" James asks Lily who frowns before she nods. James looks to the others who hesitate before they all head back to the dorm room.
"I'll grab him," Lily says before walking up to her dorm.
A few moments later, Remus comes back down, looking around nervously and digging his nails into his arm before a word has even been said.
"Remus, why are you doing this?" James asks without preamble.
Remus stares at the ground, "I can't deal with it. I don't want to drag Sirius, or anyone else, down with me."
"Mo-"
"No, James! I know, I know it shouldn't be an issue, but it is, and you don't understand how hard this last month has been for me. And in the end no matter how hard I try, it doesn't matter, it's not enough, it never will be. Sirius was right, it is bullshit and neither of them should have to put up with m-…with it."
James looks at Remus, easily catching the near slip of Remus saying they shouldn't have to put up with him. "Remy, we love you. You know that, don't you?"
Remus digs his nails in harder. James grabs his hand and pulls it away, cringing at the half-moon marks left behind, one of them deep enough to let out a trickle of blood. "I'm sorry I can't be better, but I'm not going to make you all put up with it anymore," Remus practically whispers before he hurries back up the stairs, not giving James a moment to respond.
"You hear all that?" James asks, not even raising his voice.
"Yeah," Sirius replies sadly, poking his head around the wall from the stairwell to the boys' dorms. "We heard."
"It's been three months, Remus," Lily says as she walks into the Shrieking Shack to find him moodily playing the piano. "Don't even try to tell me you don't miss them."
"Of course I miss them!" Remus replies, banging onto the piano keys. Then he sighs, "But nothing has changed."
"Remus –"
"It's their first Christmas together, Lils. I'm not going to ruin that."
Lily looks at him like she thinks he is being particularly dense, "Isn't the simple fact that you said that sentence proof that things are getting better?" She asks.
Remus scoffs, "Getting better. Like there's actually something wrong with me as opposed to me just being a bigoted dick."
With a groan of frustration, Lily sits down across from him, "All right. Let's go over this again. Where exactly is it that you first heard how 'wrong' homosexuals are?"
"Erm," Remus frowns as he thinks that over. "Taid, I think."
Lily blinks at him, "…Okay, try that again, and this time, not in Welsh."
Remus chuckles slightly, "Grandpa, Mam's Nhad. He's a Muggle and...well, also kind of a bastard."
"If he's such a bastard, why do you believe him?"
"It wasn't a conscious choice, Lily," Remus replies angrily, "He'd just rant about the Faggots down the street from him."
"Don't call them that!" Lily demands with shock clear on her face. Remus just crosses his arms and looks at the floor angrily. "I'm trying to help you here, but you certainly aren't helping yourself! You say you don't care, that it's just a feeling you can't get rid of…I think you care a lot more than you realise," Lily tells him harshly. With that, she stalks out of the room.
Remus gets up, pacing as he thinks about everything that has happened. He stops for a moment before angrily kicking the wall with an inarticulate shout.
He thinks back to the times his Taid had complained about the f- Remus winces as he realises what he thought. "Lily's right," He whispers to himself, then sits down on the bed, head in his hands, as he sighs. "When did I start believing him?"
The next day, everyone heads home for Christmas. Knowing that Lily is still annoyed at him for their argument the day before, Remus decides to sit in a compartment on his own.
It's just as the train starts moving that the door to his carriage opens. Remus looks up, shocked by who he sees, "Fabian?"
Fabian leans against the doorframe as he raises an eyebrow, "How did you know it was me?"
Remus snorts derisively, "If you were Gideon, you'd have already started cursing me. Makes it easy to tell you apart, identical twin or no."
"Well, yeah, there's that," Fabian replies with a chuckle. He comes in and sits across from Remus, "You know why he's so annoyed about this?"
"Because I'm being a piece of shit about something that shouldn't matter?" Remus suggests dryly.
Fabian shakes his head, "He knows how toxic being surrounded by homophobia can be. See our mother is homophobic, and when he came out she started to hurt him." Remus looks horrified. "I think it's one of the things he and Sirius bonded over, to be honest. Anyway, it wasn't so much the physical pain that hurt him, it was that our Mother didn't love him enough to see past it. It…it gutted him. He didn't want you to leave, he wanted to force you to get over it so that Sirius could be saved from that pain."
Remus frowns at him, "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because," Fabian replies, "I'm hoping that you can get over it. For Sirius' sake."
"Fab, if I could, I would have done it before I lost every friend I've ever had," Remus replies, unable to help the pain in his voice and the tears in his eyes. "I just can't see them together without thinking of…" Faggots, disgusting, unnatural, deserve nothing but death. Remus freezes…he remembers his Taid saying that, but he also knows where else that was said. His Father had said that of werewolves, soulless, evil, deserving of nothing but death. Those words lead to Remus being bitten by a pissed off Fenrir Greyback. Words like that…they mean danger. That kind of hatred is dangerous. Is that why he hates homos so much? He's afraid, not of them, but of the hatred they inspire in others. Is that why he flinches? Why he feels so uncomfortable and…unsafe? Remus shakes his head, "It's for Sirius' sake that I'm staying away."
Fabian sighs, nodding slowly, "Then I hope you find a way to let go of your hatred. If not for him, then for your own sake."
These thoughts run through his head the entire way home, and are still at the forefront of his mind when his mam answers the door on Christmas Day to allow his Taid to come in.
"Ah, Remus!" Johnny Howell greets his Grandson.
"Taid!" Remus replies, smiling as he rushes over to hug the man who, for whatever reason, Remus admires as much as he hates. It's then that it clicks though. Remus admires him as a giver of knowledge. He'd taught Remus to swim and to read, did a lot of his home-schooling over the years though he doesn't know why Hope and Lyall had refused to send him to an actual school. So when his Taid cursed about Homosexuals, Remus accepted that as truth just like everything else.
"Come sit down, Nhad," Hope tells her Father, leading him into the living room, "Remus would you let your Father know who's arrived?"
"Sure Mam," Remus replies, walking to the doorway, "NHAAAAD, TAID IS HERE!"
"Remus! You know very well that that isn't what I meant."
Remus looks at the ground sheepishly, "Sorry Mam."
"Ah, John, welcome," Lyall greets, shaking his father-in-law's hand when he enters the room, "How are you?"
Johnny groans, "Same old, same old. Faggots down the street holding hands. Like those bloody poofters weren't pansies enough," He says with a roll of his eyes. Remus' jaw clenches as his Nhad laughs along with his Taid, though he obviously doesn't agree with the sentiment, just doesn't think it is worth picking a fight over. Remus wonders if he would, were he to know exactly how toxic conversations like these had ended up being for his mab.
"Could at least keep it within their own homes, I suppose," Lyall says diplomatically. Remus can't help but narrow his eyes at his Nhad for not standing against his Taid. How could anyone hear such cruelty and say nothing? But then, isn't that what he's been doing? Isn't that what he forced his friends to do for a month before he distanced himself?
Johnny scoffs, "Right, 'coz those perverts could control themselves. Honestly, I'm waiting for the moment they start haranguing me for favours. Great lot of bloody degenerates, the lot of them."
Remus stands quickly, turning to face his Taid, "THAT'S NOT TRUE!"
Silence falls.
"What did you say to me, boy?" Johnny demands, calmly, coldly.
Remus hesitates for a moment, then swallows harshly, "I said it's not true. Why shouldn't they be together if they love each other?"
"It's disgusting, and unnatural! What are you doing, defending a couple o' great flaming poofs?"
"Well one of my closest friends is a 'great flaming poof' and let me tell you now, he is the greatest person you will ever meet. Certainly a better man than you could ever be," Remus tells him, the disgust in his heart suddenly morphing to direct at his Grandfather. Remus thinks of Sirius and scoffs, "I've been a right shit to him since he told me, your diabolical words of hatred constantly ringing through my head, but you know what? I hope I find a girl one day who will love me as much as those two blokes love each other. Because it's special, and pure, and no ignorant bloody stupid hatred should destroy it. Not yours, and certainly not mine!"
Remus doesn't even see his Taid get up. All he knows is one minute he was standing and berating him, and the next he was on the ground, searing pain across his face and blood streaming from his nose and possibly eye. He's not sure about that, the throbbing is making it hard to tell.
"Don't you ever lay a hand on my mab again," Remus hears his Nhad threaten. He gingerly looks over, now recognising his head being gently cradled in his mam's lap. He sees his father, holding his Taid by the collar against a wall.
"Gotta get sense beaten into him somehow, before he turns into one of'em too," Johnny tells him darkly.
Lyall's eyes go cold, "Get out." Johnny glares before he stalks out of the room and right out the front door.
"Are you all right, Bachgen Babi?" Hope asks her mab.
Remus groans slightly as he makes himself sit up, head spinning as he does so. "I'm fine Mam, but I have to get to James' place, I have to see Sirius."
"Remus! You were just hit in the head with a walking stick!" Lyall chastises, Hope lets out a quiet sob. Lyall kneels beside his wife, putting an arm around her.
"I know, but you don't understand, I have to apologise, I have to make things right!" Remus tells them, standing and stumbling to the floo. He turns back to see their wary looks, unsure whether to let him go or not, he gives them a tight smile, "I'm sorry. I have to go," He says. He then takes a handful of floo powder and steps into the fire place, "Potter Mansion."
Sirius, James, Peter, Euphemia, and Monty sit around playing a wizard game that is rather like scrabble except the letters scream the words that get put down and if they don't, it's not a real word. Of course, the words it allows arguably aren't real words either, but that's neither here nor there.
Focused as they are on the game, now in its second hour, they all jump as the floo activates and Remus stumbles out.
"Sir'us?" Remus calls, blinking and suddenly thinking he should have gotten his Nhad to heal his head before he came over. He drops to his knees when the dizziness puts him too off balance to stay up.
"Moony!" Sirius calls in surprise, going over along with everyone else.
"Pads…M'so sorry," Remus tells him, trying to hold eye contact but his eyes just aren't cooperating.
"He's got a concussion," Monty says, "Euphemia dear, would you grab –"
"Potion from the kitchen, of course," Euphemia replies, getting up immediately.
"Sir-"
"Hey, don't be sorry. Whatever happened, you can tell us about it when you're healed," Sirius tells him, gingerly stroking a hand through his hair without thought. It's only after he has done it that he thinks maybe that would make Remus uncomfortable, all things considered. But Remus doesn't so much as flinch.
Euphemia returns moments later, "Here we go dear," she says, tipping the potion into Remus' mouth.
He swallows it, making a face at the taste but grateful all the same when the heavy throbbing in his head immediately dies down. "Thanks, Mrs Potter," Remus says, smiling at her.
"What happened, Moony?" James asks before his mother has a chance to respond.
Remus grimaces, "Erm, so…I have this Grandfather…he's a dick. He said something I didn't like, I ran my mouth off at him, and he…well…hit me over the head with his cane."
"WHAT?!" All present company yell.
Remus winces at the volume, head still aching a bit.
"Sorry, here, come sit down," Fleamont tells him, helping him up and over to the couch.
"Thanks. Erm, I don't remember what happened immediately after but, next thing I knew Nhad was threatening him and throwing him out of the house. Told him to never lay a hand on me again," Remus explains, everyone seems relieved by that at least.
"What the bloody hell did he say?" James asks.
"Language, James!" Euphemia chastises.
"Sorry, Mum." Remus looks around at them all for a moment, only now realising how empty he had felt without them in his life.
"Moons?" Sirius prompts.
Remus sighs, "Something about…about gay people being degenerates, among many other colourful phrases." Sirius gasps lightly, then looks guilty as he touches the bruising forming on Remus' face. "It's not your fault, Sirius."
"Yes it is, if it weren't for me you never would have defended it."
"And I would have spent the rest of my life as an intolerant, homophobic, dickbag. Just like him." Remus grabs Sirius' chin and makes him look at him before moving to cup his cheek. "Do you know what I said to him, Padfoot? I told him one of my best friends was a great flaming poof," Remus explains, Sirius chuckling slightly at that. Remus smiles as he continues, "And I said that that friend is a better man than my Taid could ever be."
Sirius feels tears in his eyes and holds back for less than a second before flinging himself at his friend, wrapping his arms around him. Remus smiles, tears in his own eyes as he hugs Sirius back. Finally feeling as though he had come home again.
"See, we knew you'd get over it," Peter comments, James hits him over the head for ruining the moment.
"Hey where is Gideon, anyway?" Remus questions, "I sort of expected him to be here and possibly punch me before I managed to explain what happened."
"Oh, err. Gid and I broke up about a month ago," Sirius answers, "We would have told you but, Lily said she didn't think it would help at all."
Remus smiles sadly and shakes his head, "No, it probably wouldn't have. Padfoot, I am so sorry, about everything. I was a complete twat, really and truly. I made you feel so bad about yourself and I had no right to do that. I should have supported you, no matter what," Remus tells him, "There's nothing wrong with you. I see that now. I'm sorry I didn't before."
Sirius smiles, tears in his eyes, before he just nudges Remus, "Just don't be a prat anymore, all right?"
Remus smiles in relief, "Marauder's honour."
Life doesn't go back to how it used to be, which seems to be what all of them were expecting. No, instead, things have changed. And definitely for the better.