"Dear Mom,

how are you? I hope you're well. Alphonse and I are okay. Er… What more can I say? Mom, you know I am not very good at writing letters. I suppose my talent is just alchemy and being a stubborn boy.

I just wanted to tell you that I miss you. A lot.

Al too, of course. Since we left Resembool he seems sad, somehow. Also, I know he cries when he thinks I can't hear him. He always has been such a cry-baby, hasn't he? Ever since we were little. Al tries his best to look strong and manly, but I know he's still a little boy playing to be mature.

I guess I'll have to be the strong sibling as always!

But, you know, mom… He grew up so much since the last time you saw him. I am pretty sure you wouldn't be able to recognise him… Seriously, mom, even if he is just a year younger than me, he looks so different! In fact, he is now taller than me… Maybe I should cut his legs?

Now we are in Central City. It's so far away from our Resembool. It's kinda awesome how many kilometres we have travelled by ourselves. Because of this we spend so much time in trains. Al usually sits next to the window, and I sit next to him. He looks away without saying a word, with a lost gaze. I wonder what he's thinking those times… (I wonder if he hates me…)

Sometimes, in those long trips I do the same thing, I look at him and think I could do anything for him. Because Al is my brother. My beloved younger brother that you gave me. I think I could do anything for you, as well. In fact, I did it. I did something terrible for you. Something unforgivable I pray you won't know about, wherever you are now.

Your stupid son,

Ed."

"Dear Mom,

Central City is very big. I think you would not like it because of the noise and the ruckus. Winry seems to love it, though. She comes quite frequently saying she misses us, but I think she just comes to devastate the shops.

Oh! You know about state alchemists, mom? I became one of them. The youngest one! The Military pays so well! … Had you been with us, I know you would have stopped me, but I am fine, and so is Al. We have objectives we have to comply no matter what. I can't tell you in this letter... And I am not asking you to understand, neither forgive me.

…

I have always complained about Al's weakness, playing to be the strongest, tallest, and coolest… But you know me better than anyone, don't you?

I know I can truly rely on Alphonse, and that fact has kept me standing up all these years. Mom, I do love him better than anything or anyone, but that does nothing but hurt me, since I know I've failed him so many times.

Sometimes I feel sad. Or lonely. Or pathetic.

There are things I can't tell Al because of my stupid pride of older brother. And because I know if I am miserable, he must feel even worse than me.

Because I am the one who made him miserable.

What kind of equivalent exchange it is if the only one who always suffer is Al?!

I am the only one who must bear with the guilt — he was just an unfortunate witness of my sin. Sometimes I feel he is with me just because of our kin, because he still sees me as a little and clumsy boy who needs to be guarded. And maybe I am. I want Al to have a new happy life, but I don't think he will if he's here with me.

Mom, I miss you. I don't see the time when I will finally be there with you. Perhaps that will be the only time I will feel at peace with myself. You were so sweet, so warm…

I want to be with you and forget all my sins.

But mom, before vanishing I must do one thing. Before vanish I..."

"Brother? Brother, are you there?"

Edward lifted his eyes from the desk he was writing on, dropping the pen on the table and hiding the letter he was writing under a book before answering. "Here I am, Al."

The room's door opened with a noise showing a huge and heavy armour.

"Brother!" He said with his childish voice, angrily. "I've been looking for you! Where were you? And what are you doing in such a place? It's very dark! Why don't you open the windows? Your eyes will get hurt."

The oldest sibling laughed shamelessly while he got up from the chair.

"Sorry, sorry" he said, opening the windows. The light filled the dark room, dazzling both of them.

The small room was slightly messy, with books scattered all over the floor, paper sheets and Edward's clothes everywhere.

Edward half-closed his eyes. He was wearing just a thin black T-shirt and some trousers — not even shoes on his feet — while everyone the street was wearing coats and scarfs. His long blonde hair was falling over his back, wild and unkept.

"Brother, do you want me to braid your hair?" the armour asked. "Also, you should wrap yourself. You'll catch a cold" he added with a softer voice.

Edward stretched his left hand to the back of his head, holding some golden strands before finally letting go.

"Nah, it's okay" he finally said, and aware of his brother's concern he added "Don't worry Al, don't people say that fools can't catch colds? There is nothing to worry about".

He heard his brother complains defending him from, ironically, himself.

"It is so unfair!" Alphonse Elric whined, remembering the reason he came for. "When I turned around you were not there! I asked Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye about your whereabouts, but they knew nothing about you! I searched everywhere looking for you! And here you are, mindlessly doing whatever without telling me a word. I was worried sick, you dumbass!"

"Why didn't you come here fir…"

"You are barely here!" He screamed at Edward's comment. "It was more likely finding you complaining at Colonel's office or fighting against some strangers calling you short than in here, a room you paid for, but you hardly step in! I was afraid you would have left Central without me, you stupid older brother!" Alphonse finally exploded with a broken voice.

Edward felt the familiar taste of guilt on his mouth.

"T-That's not true!" The older brother stammered. "How could I do that, Al? You know I wouldn't!"

(Not until I give back everything I took from you.)

"But you…!"

Edward sighed deeply, walking towards his little brother and embracing him with both of his arms, even if the armour was too big (and he himself too small) for his arms to hug him completely.

"Are you stupid?" he murmured with an unusual kind voice against the cold metal armour his brother was.

"I'm not going to vanish, you know!" The alchemist said cheerfully. "What kind of brother would I be if I let such a wonderful man as myself leave your life?"

(You're the reason I can't allow myself to give up.)

Alphonse Elric stared at him for a few seconds, not saying a word.

"Oh, c'mon Al". Edward forced a smile. "I was in the wrong for vanishing without telling you, but I thought you wouldn't mind that much? Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

"… Cats." The armour whispered.

"What?"

"Cats, I said!" Alphonse repeated, louder this time. He felt shame overcoming him, even if he didn't know why. His demand was not that crazy, was it? "Y-You said a-anything!" Alphonse stammered.

His brother seemed to come back to reality. He blinked and shook his head, feeling cold on his neck.

"Did I? Are you sure I did, Al?"

"Don't fool around, brother! You did!"

Edward busted into laughter, leaning forward and finally falling over his knees, still laughing. His stomach hurt, but even so he couldn't stop.

"What's wrong with you?" Alphonse cried out with a gruffly tone. "It's not even funny, brother!"

Still on the floor, Edward stared at him, with glazed eyes because of the laughter.

"Oh, Al." He finally said between laughs. "For God's sake, how can you be so… so..."

(How can you be so cute sometimes, brother?)

At that point, the armour which contained Edward Elric's little brother's soul babbled something, unable to find the right words to reply to that strange guy who was lying down on his brother's room, laughing but with sour tears on his golden eyes.

"Before I vanish from this world, I have to do one important thing, probably the most important thing in my life.

I stole Al's happiness, mom. His ability to laugh, to eat, to sleep, to cry and even to feel. I want to see him cry once again. I want to see him laugh once again. I want to see his sleepy face one more time. I would give everything I've got just to see my brother's dirty face full of flecks of food just once more.

Only then I'll feel like my job here is done. I'll make Alphonse happy again, so happy that he will not notice that I am not with him anymore.

… I guess I can't go just yet, huh? Can you still wait for me up there, mom? Could you forgive me, mom? Could you forgive this son of yours?

Wait for me, mom. Please, wait for me.

Your sinful and stupid older son,

Edward Elric."