Fictions Mentioned:
Episode 1 - M-LEGAL
Insert Song: Start
Dies irae - Animation OST: Burlesque
There was a hallowed place in the interior of the TARDIS. A large hall room called the Hall of Willful Hope - a sacred and private place where twelve individuals with a unique set of powers, abilities, and personalities sometimes meet and gather. These twelve are known to be the 12 Core of the Multiverse League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Ladies (M-LEGAL). As for what is usually being discussed here in this room, it depends upon the time of day. Some are serious and grave that relate to the Multiverse. Some are just silly and comedic that there was even a list of tropes that are deemed official and recognized, and would be mandated upon the students of TARDIS School to learn, especially when it came to the male category as they seem to be the most frequent victims of these pitfalls.
But now...
"Alright, everyone, I've had it! What do you all say that we decided to take a walk, just the twelve of us?!"
The Doctor, his twelfth incarnation to be more precise, a tall, thin-faced man with a tousled mop of silver-grey hair and intense eyes framed by unruly, expressive eyebrows, was sitting in his respective chair that has his logo attached to the top center, said with an exasperated tone. The rest who were seated in their respective chairs were sporting bewildered expressions at the offering question that had been given.
"A walk? My Lord Doctor, surely you can't be serious?"
That was asked by Frederica Bernkastel—the Witch of Miracles, a young woman with long, steel-blue hair and emotionless purple eyes. As of this moment, for all of her multi-lives, she couldn't help but raise an eyebrow of curiosity and bewilderment.
"Well, I just thought that since nothing seems to be happening lately, we should all take a walk and hang out like old friends who decided to take into the view of things," the Doctor offered with that shrugged expression while wiggling his 'attack eyebrows'.
Bernkastel could only roll her eyes out at this response, picking up the tea plate containing the tea cup and taking a zip to take in the taste with refinement.
"Alright, let's be honest, oh fearless leader. The only reason you're even proposing this is that you just want to escape all of that dastardly sized hellish paperwork surrounding our students and staff getting isekai'ed to different worlds and universes like confetti lately," John Constantine—Hellblazer said with humor, with his right hand placed to the right side of his face for support.
"..." the Doctor simply made an annoyed expression.
Now that Constantine had mentioned this issue, it was one of those daily life problems that the Doctor had been dealing with ever since the very beginning of his travels throughout the Multiverse. By mandate, he is to be in charge of watching out for these so-called 'isekai' cosmoses, detailing them down, and policing the locals if there seems to be a problem or two. He was the 'Watcher' and the 'Observer' all in all. Naturally, that demanded him to do tons of paperwork which he usually tries to escape from...to no avail. So the concept of paperwork is nothing ever so new to him.
Of course, he never had any regrets about taking the job. He's met many of his companions and other individuals through that method alone and had the pleasure of having a bit of fun along the way, so it was all worth the count in the end.
Still, he was annoyed simply because he can recall a few certain individuals, politicians the lot of them, who reasoned that he always likes to travel to new places anyway so it's not that much different from the usual norm. On that reasoning alone, the Doctor would grumbly agree with a sense of discontent.
The Doctor sighed heavily. He was hesitant, giving a sideways expression toward the paperwork on the table. "If I said yes, what are all of your responses to that?"
Most of everyone sighed by now. Many of them were either of exasperation, bewilderment, or amusement. Probably all of them combined. There were also a few mutterings here and there.
"Oh, Doc, really?" Lady Professor Washu Hakubi—the Greatest Scientific Genius of the Universe, the genius mad scientist in their group of misfits, simply gave the Doctor a look of humor and exasperation that all culminated in a wry smile, with arms crossed.
"Ugh...Alright fine, so I'd figure that there has been too much paperwork to do for me and for the rest of us for the past few days. And what I do mean is that considering everything that has happened in our lives, you'd think that all of us could use a little break, a little walk throughout the corridors of this fine establishment here and there, you know, just...hanging out, be like all of those kids over there and enjoying their lives. But no, we're all still stuck down here signing a bunch of paperwork that never seems to go away while our students and staff are having the time of their lives out there," the Doctor said, still exasperated as he pointed his right hand waveringly towards the mountains of organized stacks of paperwork that all seem to fit together at the large table.
"True, we could all definitely use a break from our duties as teachers sometimes," Dr. Stephen Vincent Strange—Sorcerer Supreme said with a nod of agreement and exasperation, as the paperwork was gravely reminding him of all the times of dealing with said paperwork as a medical doctor and neurosurgeon.
"Well I don't have much to do for this time as guidance counseling is handled in my absence by a few others in my absense so I have the proper free time on my hands," Castiel said with a simple smile.
"And my duties as a librarian are being handled as well, so I also have the necessary free time to take the offer that the Doctor has proposed to us," Optimus Prime said with a simple smile.
"Eh, what the hell, there's literally nothing better to do anyway," Roland Deschain—Gunslinger seem to shrug casually from his seat.
"I second that, as things seem to be quite boring and stale around here lately with all of this paperwork," Q said with an exasperated tone of humor.
"Hey out of all us who does all of that damn paperwork, Q, you're practically the laziest one yet," Ash J. Williams—the One said with a smirk.
"Ouch. You wound me," Q said dramatically.
"Still...what exactly do you have in mind for this 'walk', Doc? Considering that you're bringing all of us, you better hope that you could satisfy a certain someone who is as easily bored to death as she lives and breathes with it," Washu said, pointing her thumb towards Bernkastel who was simply raising an eyebrow while putting the tea back at the table.
"Tis my defense, I do not get bored that quickly, Lady Hakubi. Being bored would mean that the opponent of my choosing has not yet learned the lesson that I would have imparted and would have rather keep pounding it on his head with a stick by far more times than I could muster if only for him to at least learn his lesson," Bernkastel said with a subtle smile of darkness and an aura of miasma leaking through.
"Are we talking about Battler by any chance?" the Doctor raised an eyebrow at the sudden shift toward dark humor.
"My Lord Doctor, surely you could see my point as to why that idiot tended to get lost one way or another at the pretense of us witches even entertaining the notion of playing fair. Such naivete would prove to be quite the slippery slope towards downfall," Bernkastel said in a sagely voice.
"Well I suppose, but then again, why are we suddenly shifting our conversation to Battler of all people?," the Doctor couldn't help but ask in worry.
"Oh, tis nothing of the sort. Pay no attention to this old crone of a millennium-year-old witch who has had the numbing pleasure of being punched in the face by that fool who only thinks with his brawn and not with his brains," Bernkastel said with a dark smile and a miasmic aura.
Everyone who was listening in couldn't help but grimace in an exasperated fashion, especially when they all feel the subtle power of who is quite frankly the most powerful among them in this very room.
"I guess even after all these years, she still manages to hold quite the grudge on that bloke, but then again, that's a witch for you, all the more reason not to piss any of them off if you all want to live longer," Constantine replied in stride while giving a sideways hesitant expression.
"Here, here," Tsukasa Kadoya - Kamen Rider Decade nodded along in agreement.
"Alright, so since we're all in general agreement, our first order of business is this, who wants to go to Lucifer's Bar?" the Doctor asked in stride with a smile, clapping both of his hands.
Most of everyone would simply raise an eyebrow at the suggestion.
"Are you serious right now, mate?" Constantine questioned with a raised eyebrow and with a hesitant expression. "You do recall what happened the last time you and I went there?"
"Oh yes, I recalled. You, me, and the Devil himself all went along for a cosmic multidimensional poker game with an entire audience watching. Clara and Danny were there that time as well. It was quite fun having to make an effort for once," the Doctor made a smile.
"You call it fun while I call it a living hell. Do you have any idea how extremely difficult it is to play poker when your opponent is Lucy of all people?" Constantine pointed out in a tone of annoyance.
"Oh for goodness sake, you're just mad that you couldn't cheat your way out of that poker game this time and I had to bail you out at the last nanosecond or so by the time it hit no more than the second meta-hour," the Doctor rolled his eyes out while making a slight expression of humor.
"Oi, the only reason that even happened was that the moment I called for a straight flush, he flipped the cards on the table with a couple of three kings and two jokers, like seriously, just how does he do that? More importantly, just how in the bloody hell did you manage to counter him in a tie with your own full house of cards? And don't you dare say 'I'm the Doctor, just accept it' bollocks since that would not be a bloody answer at all," Constantine pointed out in irritation.
"John, when your mother figure in your childhood is Lady Michael, you would tend to have to learn a lot of lessons and experiences in life. Poker is just one of them in order to pass the time as it were. And besides that, it was a tie at best between me and Lucifer," the Doctor recalled with a fond and subtle expression.
"With me being given the dunce hat with the words 'try hard conjob' to wear for the rest of the bloody day because of that stupid wager," Constantine pointed out in irritation, recalling one of the most humiliating experiences ever devised upon him.
"Ah, so that explains why Lady Michael doesn't allow herself to play poker and abstain from it, because it's due to the fact that she'd probably win and wouldn't be fair to the rest of the players," Castiel spoke with reverence and slight humor, although already knowing of it couldn't help but point it out.
"Or any game for that matter," Q suggested with wiggled eyebrows.
"Hehehehehahahahahaha."
Most of the others who were listening to the banter and conversation couldn't help but laugh in accordance with their personalities. Bernkastel most especially could not help but giggle softly.
"Why don't you just admit that you lost against the Devil fair and square, Hellblazer. It's practically your fault anyway since you've been dealing with angelic and demonic powers left, right, and center that it wouldn't have mattered the most when your opponent just so happened to be the master of them all. Quite the ironic twist, being outconned by the original con master himself," Bernkastel pointed out in stride, with a smile on her face.
"Oh sure, laugh at my loss of victory why don't you? And please don't confirm it with your bloody Red Truth since there's already enough of a bruise to last the ego of my soul a bit more times than I could count," Constantine said wearily.
"My, my, now why would I do that I wonder," Bernkastel closed her eyes while sporting a meaningful smile.
"And by the way, in point of my defense, didn't I once threaten his dear old dad that one time? Has anyone in this room ever bloody managed to forget that I did that sort of feat when no one else in my cosmos had seemingly done," Constantine pointed out in exasperation.
Most of everyone in the room couldn't help but give their notion of disapproval and misgivings regarding that delicate topic while Bernkastel could only give an unimpressed eyebrow.
Doctor Strange only snorted unimpressively as he pointed things out in sarcasm.
"That was a special type of circumstance, Constantine, and you know as much as I do that it does not count at the very least. As a matter of fact, you just had to get yourself damned into hell and back again after what amounted to...what? More than the last fifty or so times? Honestly, to be callous with one's soul to the point of becoming casual about it. I don't know whether to call you brave or call you stupid. You were quite the bold and arrogant one back in the old days that made the news headlines throughout the supernatural community to the point where it even reach my ears at the Sanctum Sanctorum. No wonder the Doctor and myself had to go and save you so many times as of late back then."
"Well excuse me, we can't all be Sorcerer Supremes like you, Strange. While you had all the talent and the brains, I had to learn how to work and relearn it from my arse off ever since I was a bloody teenager with an inch of magical diapers. And by the way, I never asked for the both of you to keep saving me all of those times," Constantine knitted his narrowed eyebrows.
"Firstly, I would like to point out in my defense that I didn't become a Sorcerer Supreme overnight despite my intellect and talents. I had years and years of hard work and effort along with help and assistance from others to get to where I am officially standing as of back then and today, both as a medical neurosurgeon and as a Master of the Mystic Arts," Dr. Strange said in his defense.
"And secondly, no John, you didn't ask us to save you all of those times. But we were the ones who decided to do it anyway since we had the free time on our hands and we considered you a friend no matter how much you tend to screw it all up or you just being a jerk who keeps pushing others away so your welcome by the way," the Doctor pointed out, continuing what Dr. Strange had left off.
"Oh am I suppose to be grateful then, oh fearless leader," Constantine grumbled, sporting an annoyed expression with arms crossed.
"I seem to recall that you were grateful during those times of turbulence. You just didn't show it that much due to your tsundere-like attitude," the Doctor gave a meaningful smile of humor.
"Really? Describing my behavior in the form of Japanese cliché tropes that our students and staff would tend to throw off in their bloody conversations from time to time?" Constantine exasperatedly asked. "In case you couldn't tell by now, mate, I'm bloody British, not Asian. You're better off throwing those words with those all of those Shinto wannabes down the other end of the hall."
"Well the same could be said for the more foreign students and staff in our fine establishment wouldn't you think?" the Doctor pointed out in stride.
At this point, Constantine just gave up on the argument altogether. He stood up from his chair, sighing heavily, raising both of his hands in an exaggerated fashion, and was now intent on heading towards the exit.
"You know what, to hell with you lot and all of this, I give up on this bloody topic and concede for now. Let's just go over to Lucy's bar and check the sights for ourselves. Might as well get a round of shots to pass the time. Better than staying all cooked up in here all the damn bloody day."
The others could only watch him leave while looking at each other.
"We better make sure he doesn't go off and do something stupid," Tsukasa pointed out in concern.
"It's John Constantine, when was the last time he never did something stupid in his life?" Ash Williams pointed out with a raised eyebrow.
"Zatanna," Castiel pointed out, playing for his fellow member's defense.
"Anything else besides his wife reigning him in?" Ash Williams continued to point out.
"..."
No one made any further comment as the point was seemingly made. And that in turn would eventually make all of them, including Bernkastel, to stand up from their seats and follow Constantine out of the room and join him as they all head towards the bar of one Lucifer Morningstar.
Lux.
That's an infamous name that you'd find anywhere around the interior of the TARDIS if you knew where to look. That or the TARDIS herself can just nudge you in just the right direction in various and subtle ways. The TARDIS was quite loved because she tends to help her students and occupants daily.
Restaurants. Hotels. Apartments. Department stores. Pharmaceutical stores. Bars and nightclubs. The works and wonders of the professional business world all belong under the one banner and title of Lux, more specifically belonging to one individual of great power and charisma by the name of Lucifer Morningstar. Known by many names. Satan. Devil. Every other dastardly name you could think of throughout all of space and time could be applied to him. Or not in fact quite half-truth or the real truth. For whichever is it isn't really so accurate nor deemed fit when it concerns the multitudes of satan and devil figures throughout the Multiverse. This version was quite different and above most of the rest.
Alongside Michael Demiurgos, he was the second most powerful being in all of creation in relation to the DC Multiverse, being well known and infamous for his threefold power: The Lightbringer flames, his nigh-omniscience, and The Will of God. The flames can destroy almost anything and are unique hence the name Lightbringer. His nigh-omniscience allows him to be ten steps ahead of all others and know almost everything. His will can manipulate reality on any scale he so wishes.
Though extremely powerful and deviously smart, he plays by a set of rules. Five of them to be precise: He never will lie, he considers it to be degrading and below him; He always keeps his word; Experience is everything to him, so he will not turn back time to correct every mistake; He prefers to rely on his intellect and manipulations rather than getting his hands dirty; Sometimes he likes to see how everything plays out.
Charming, eloquent and sophisticated, and fully aware of the fact, Lucifer carries himself with an air of supreme confidence, charisma, and egotism, even arrogance, which is due in part to his vast supernatural powers such as his immortality, near-invulnerability, and knack for coaxing Humans to spill their hidden secrets to him.
Beneath it all, he was very loyal, cares about certain people, and even shows quite a bit of remorse for the mistakes he made.
Both known for his professional work as an inter-multiversal businessman and detective, usually stationed in Los Angeles, California, somewhere in DC Universe-Prime, being known for his honesty and surprisingly great sense of justice in delivering punishment to those guilty and for the vindication of the innocent. It was not a wonder when he was entrusted once by The Presence to be put in charge of the inferno before he vindicated and explored the vast cosmos.
As of right now, all of the 12 are walking from the large corridors that have over a multitude number of students, staff, and other hallway dwellers throughout the area. And all of them appeared to be muttering in hush tones of conversation, reactions, and due to the presence of the 12 Core crossing their path.
"Hey guys look, it's the senseis."
"Oh my god. Oh my god. Girl pinch me I must be dreaming. All twelve of them together."
"This is quite the sight. All twelve of them walking together."
"I wonder one could be so important this time that all twelve of them are seen together."
"Probably League business as usual."
And while listening to the constant chatter, Constantine couldn't help but sigh heavily as he pinches his eyes while walking.
"Oh bollocks. Why can't they all just bugger off to their own business and leave us be for now?"
"You can't exactly blame them, John. We are quite the standout crowd so to speak when we are all together so it's a given that people would immediately notice us," Castiel said, walking in stride.
"Yeah, yeah, I know about that, but it really just bugs me the wrong way sometimes. Especially with all of the fangirls that we have among the crowd. And don't tell me that we don't have fangirls because we do. Goddamit why can't we just render ourselves invisible and be done with it," Constantine said, sporting an irritated expression.
"Now, now, John, you know that won't work for most of us as many among the crowd could practically sense us anyway. And besides, where's the fun in all of that?" the Doctor said, all while waving to a couple of elementary school children with randoseru backpacks and school supplies who were happily waving towards him.
"I would counter with that by firstly stating that not all of us could be sensed that easily as some of us are quite good at concealing our presence, and I wouldn't put it past you to have a trick or two up your sleeve in order to shroud yourself with magic tricks. Secondly, this is why I suggested we all go separately in groups so that we don't stand out too much," Constantine said.
"Yeah...we could do that. Or we could all stick together since it seems more fun that way," Q suggested with a smile of humor.
"Fun he says," Constantine grumbled and snorted, shaking his head.
A few walks down the line, they managed to come towards the entrance door of a large rectangular building, with the sign 'LUX' being seen from the upper corner.
"Password?" said the bouncer, a tall-looking ogre demon who seem to be towering over Constantine, carrying a whiteboard that has the written password to be uttered.
"Are you bloody kidding me right now?" Constantine said in an annoyed tone, already managing to have figured out the password for the nth time of trying, while Bernkastel giggled in turn.
"Well it's you were talking about John so the boss had his bouncers trying to come up with something in order to keep you in line as it were and not make a mess of things," the Doctor suggested with a sympathetic expression.
"Oh really? Me? Not anyone else? That's a bit biased don't you think?" Constantine said, looking rather annoyed, to which the Doctor could only shrug in response, not saying a word, which made Constantine even more annoyed.
"Don't feel too bad, Constantine, you honestly brought this one on yourself so you'd have to take responsibility," the Doctor said with an empathetic expression.
"Alright fine," Constantine muttered in annoyance, tucking into the inner pockets of his coat, before saying clearly. "lucis auctor praecepta (light bringer rules)."
The bouncer made a satisfied nod as he showed the front of the whiteboard that has the words 'lucis auctor praecepta' written, saying. "You're free to come through."
"...And if I may, that is quite the suggestive password so to speak," Bernkastel said with a smirk.
"Welp, time for me to do a dive," Constantine said as he gets ready to head inside.
"What, no ladies first?" Washu asked, smirking.
"Oh please," Constantine rolled his eyes with a confident smirk.
But then, just a few meters of going inside.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Constantine somehow slipped from the floor as his back was now slipping straight at a dashing speed. Everyone else would stop whatever their doing and look at the scene with various reactions. Various humans and non-humans, gods and mortals, other creatures of the day and of the night, and many other unmentionable passer-bys that were just having a good time in the bar, noticed Constantine blitzing down through the floor and would unceremoniously crashed...
...To what appeared to be a large cake that had the words 'LUCY RULES 101' on the top second floor.
By the end of it, Constantine was covered in dark chocolate and cake frost...
And then...
"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
"Hey, look everyone, it's John Constantcake!"
While the 12 Core were simply looking at the scene with raised eyebrows.
At that moment, John Constantine knew one thing only for this particular moment as he grumbled with an annoyed expression.
"...Goddamn it all...Such...misfortune..."
To borrow a phrase from one of his students.
Insert Song: End
OP Song:
I'll Be There for You (Theme From "Friends")
Incarnation(s)/Regeneration(s) of the Doctor:
The Twelfth Doctor - A: Peter Capaldi
12 Core Members:
Roland Deschain - A: Clint Eastwood
Professor Paradox - A: David McCallum
Frederica Bernkastel - A: Yukari Tamura
Washu Hakubi - A: Yuko Kobayashi
Castiel - A: Misha Collins
Tsukasa Kadoya/Kamen Rider Decade - A: Masahiro Inoue
Ash J. Williams - A: Bruce Campbell
Dr. Stephen Strange - A: Benedict Cumberbatch
John Constantine - A: Matt Ryan
Optimus Prime - A: Peter Cullen
Q - A: John de Lancie