Summary:
The morning after Murphy and Toby's fight, and the start of the outbreak. Murphy finally takes control and decides to trust her intuition and those around her.
Groaning softly, my face buried in a pillow. I remember the previous night, Abby coming to get me and bringing me back to her place. She helped me clean up before I changed into one of her t-shirts and fell into bed. The fight with Toby left me sore, but my ego hurts the most. The thoughts that flood my brain when I first blink into awareness, the morning sun shining brightly through the bedroom window, is that I should have fought more. Left him when I had the chance. It's a vicious cycle. One that seems never ending and I know one day, even those who love me will leave because I will disappoint them as well. They will tire of me. I'm sarcastic, brash, and hot-headed.
Slowly pushing up from the bed, I sigh and plant my feet on the floor. Rubbing my hand over my face, I flinch a bit then brush the hair from my face. Getting up, I shuffle out into the living room, following the sound of the tv. The first thing I notice is not only is Abby awake, but we have company. John and Joanne Wilkins, they run the gun shop and range down the street, and another friend of ours, Joshua Deluca. They're all standing in front of the TV. Lifting a hand, I rub my eyes and clear my throat.
"Someone forget to invite me to the party?" I ask, causing everyone to turn towards me.
"Oh, honey…" Joanna sighs, stepping towards me and cupping my bruised cheeks in her hands. Looking up at her, I have always felt like a little girl in her presence, like the mother I wish I had had.
"I'm fine. Toby passed out and well, here I am." I sigh as Joanne brushes my hair away from my face. Everyone in this room wishes I would leave Toby, walk away, and never look back. They have all tried to convince me I'm not broken. Maybe I'll believe them this time.
"Sweet girl, I hope this is the last time I'll see you like this. You deserve so much better. " Joanne whispers with a kiss pressed to my bruised brow before turning towards the TV, her hand sliding into mine.
"Looks like I'm missing something." My statement is more questioning than anything.
"Yeah, um… there's been some kinda outbreak." Abby looks over with a furrowed brow.
"Sounds like they are wanting to evacuate the city. They seem to think it's airborne, but not sure." John states.
"So, our plan is to go ahead and go… They're saying people aren't staying dead…" Joshua looks over at me, his eyes skeptical, which I mean come on… Zombies?
"I'll do whatever you guys think is best. I really don't have any other options." I comment and lift a hand to rub my nose.
"I think the best course of action is to err on the side of caution. Load up, armed, and head out. Take what we can. Better safe than sorry." John explains.
I stay silent listening to Abby, Joshua and Joanne agree. Ironic, only took a city-wide evacuation for me to leave Toby. Part of me, wanted to get him. To take him with us and the other part of me, I wanted to leave him. Let him fend for himself, good riddance.
"I think leaving is a good idea… I just, need my things." I pipe up. "And no, I don't want to take Toby, I just want my things. Toby can fend for himself. " I added, even shocking myself.
Everyone nods, Abby and I sharing a look. She gives me a half smile before I walk into the bedroom to get changed. My nerves are killing me, a million things running through my mind as I change into a pair of jean shorts and a tank top. Thanks to Abby for the clothing stash. Should have been a red flag, leaving clothes at Abby's house for when I would leave Toby in his drunken stupor. I try not to have a self-loathing moment right now, knowing we had shit to do.
Pulling my hair up, I stuff my feet into my boots that I had kicked off last night, from their spot at the end of the bed before walking back out. I smooth down my tank top, which hugs the curves of my body and try not to feel insecure about the bruised skin showing. The bruises just made everything more real.
We make quick work of packing bags. John, Joanne, and Joshua having already loaded up. Now it's Abby and I loaded up. I don't know where we're going, but I'm ready to follow my friends. It's better than the alternative. That being stuck with Toby and most likely dying. Abby packs her duffle, grabbing her gun holster and berettas from the closet by the door.
"Okay, next stop Murph's, and then we get the hell outta here," John states as we file out the door and towards John's van.
"Anyone else notice how quiet it seems?" Abby inquires as we load into the van.
"Yeah…" I muse, coming into full awareness of how eerie things seem to be.
Eyes roam the area as we drive, my place only a few blocks away. The streets seemed empty, minus a few people who had the same idea as us. Get the hell out of town. Survival instincts kicking in. I also admit I'm not looking forward to seeing Toby, dreading a confrontation. My hope is he's still passed out or he's left the apartment.
"I'm going in with you," Joshua states as we arrive, his 6'4 frame stepping from the van.
I know there's no use arguing, not that we had the time. I follow him and Abby out and into my apartment building. Reaching for the door, I find it unlocked. Not surprising. Joshua is the one who pushes the door open, stepping in first and looking around for a moment.
"I think we're clear." He states, motioning for Abby and I to enter the apartment.
Abby and I head to the bedroom, relieved to see that Toby's gone. Joshua's voice confirms he is nowhere to be found. Now I know we have to hurry, I don't know where he went and I don't know when he'll be back. I can only hope it's after we're long gone.
Abby grabs my duffle bag from the closet and begins to toss clothes and toiletries into it, myself moving to reach under the bed and pulling a black case out. I quickly type in the code, one I never gave Toby because of the contents of the case… Well, when I open the lid, my eyes land on twin desert eagles. Mark XIX to be exact, my holster tucked away into the case as well. They were a birthday gift from John and Joanne a few weeks ago, Toby didn't even know they were here.
Abby looks over at me, nodding towards the door as she slings my duffle bag over her shoulder. After ensuring my gun case is locked once more, I follow her and Joshua out of the apartment and load ourselves back into John's van.
"Take it, no sign of Toby?" Joanne inquires as we settle back into our seats.
"No. He's either already skipped town or is somewhere getting wasted. He always does after a fight." I explained.
John glances in the rearview mirror at us before pulling away from the apartment building. I took one last look, chuckling to myself, though it lacked humor. I was free. I lay my head back and close my eyes, just listening as we drive along.
My mind wanders back, just over the last few years and all the pain, regret, and doubts. God, am I a cliche? I have to wonder. You know, the battered woman who finally leaves her abusive ex and is free of the torment. Maybe that's what I'm afraid of too, people think I am simply a cliche and I could have left when I wanted to. Hell, I had a gun case under my bed, why not use them? I know, even if I said I wasn't a killer, people could argue it was self-defense.
On the other hand, I ask myself why do I care what people think? Why do I care what they feel I should do? My head is always a warzone, so to speak. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to that. I know it's the years of abuse, but I also know that even without Toby, I am not the easiest person to get along with. I have the mouth of a sailor, quick to strike with my words and hurt you before you can hurt me. While I am not an outright bitch, I still have my issues. I still have my temper. I'm just more in check, and hey, at least I am honest with myself. I don't sugarcoat it.
Bottom line is, I'm a mess. But at least I'm aware of it. I will have my little self-loathing pity party for a bit, then pull myself together like I always do. It's the way it's always been. Maybe things will change, who the hell knows?
I rest my head against the van's tinted glass and exhale softly, watching as John travels back roads, knowing that any main road by now is probably backed up. He has always been a navigator and I know if anyone is going to get us out of town, it's him.
When I hear his CB crackle I lift my head, having zoned out for a bit. I hear him call someone Morales, I vaguely know who that is. He used to come to the shooting range and we have exchanged greetings in the past, John knows him through his father, they served in the military together. Morales tells him about a camp set up, just outside the city. Other survivors headed out there.
Okay, what the hell? Survivors? What is this, the apocalypse? Abby and I exchange looks, curious and nervous. Her hand slides into mine, fingers lacing as we listen to John and Morales exchange information, tactic and coordinates.
"City is overrun, I know it sounds crazy. I wouldn't have believed it if I did not just survive getting outta the city with a few others." The voice belonging to Morales states.
"Zombies. I can now say I have seen every fucking thing." John retorts.
"Thought we'd get flying cars or something, not dead people fucking walking around." Morales chuckles. "Who do you have with you?" He adds an inquiry.
"My wife, our girls Abigail and Murphy, and our boy Joshua," John explains.
"I'm glad they got out, wife and kids are back at camp. We'll see you there." Morales states.
"Ten-four." John responds before hanging his intercom up.
"Guess we can check zombies off the bucket list." Joshua chuckles, though it lacks humor.
We all chuckle, unsure of what really lies ahead, but as long as we have one another, I have faith in us and our ability to survive. I have guilt though. Not over leaving Toby, but over the fact I feel relieved to be free. That facing zombies sounds better than another day with Toby. I look over when Abby nudges me and offers a smile.
"You're thinking loud." She states.
"Sorry, just thinking…" I admit.
"About Toby? Your brow is doing that knitting thing."
"Yeah. I don't care that I left him, don't care if he survives. I feel guilty for not caring and actually being relieved." I admit and close my eyes, laying my head back.
"It's okay, Murph. He'd done the same, or worse. We have each other and we'll make it. Let yourself be happy for a moment and grateful to be free and with people who love you." She smiles faintly and lays her head on my shoulder, closing her eyes.
She's right, I can feel good about leaving and I can feel good about knowing I am with people I love and who love me. For this moment, I can breathe, because who the hell knows what's around the corner?
Thanks to AWriterOfMany for being my Beta Reader for this fiction! #TurtleChibi power!
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