The sun had gone down, and Rick had promised Carol they'd go back out at first light and continue the search. I agreed that going out in the dark is no good. We would leave everyone vulnerable. I can see Carol's point of view, but at the same time, I can understand Rick's. It's a tough call to make and it's not as if we would be sleeping. Que me, sitting on top of the water truck that was across from the RV. For a chubby girl, I can get around and also climb on top of water trucks. Pretty fancy right? Kinda helped that there was also a ladder on the back of the truck.
Sitting cross-legged, I stare up at the sky and how the moonlight washes over everything, almost making it look peaceful. Kind of gives you a few moments before thoughts of reality seep back in. I had offered to keep watch because, as I have said before, I am not good at comforting. I also couldn't take Andrea and her obsession with wanting a gun. I half expected her to ask me for mine, which are both currently holstered at my sides, the rifle Joshua gave me sitting next to my legs, which I have now uncrossed and have stretched in front of me with ankles crossed.
"Looking for company?" I hear a voice ask. Peeking over the side of the truck, I smile when I see Daryl standing there.
"Sure thing, even promise not to throw ya off." I murmur and grin.
Pretty sure he flips me off as he chuckles, slinging his crossbow over his shoulder and making quick work of the climb. Placing his crossbow down with a gentle thud, he sits down next to me and stretches his legs out, mirroring mine. I lean back on my palms and look back at the sky.
"Ever seen a shooting star?" He asks, having noticed me stargazing before he had come up to the truck. His tone is genuinely curious as he glances at me for a moment and then back at the sky as he leans back on the palms of his hands.
"Once. When I was twenty-four. I was out on the balcony of my apartment. It was beautiful… I made a wish and everything. Most people think it's silly, but I like to have things to believe in." Glancing towards him with a shy smile.
"Don't sound silly to me. I'd ask what you wished for, but I know it's bad luck to tell." Giving me a gentle nudge and smiling faintly at me.
"Exactly. What about you?" I inquire as I nudge him in return.
"Naw. But I did see a chupacabra once… Was out squirrel huntin', and there it was. Only for a second, but I know what I saw." He chuckles and looks down.
"Wait." Turning a bit to look at him with a raised brow. "Are you fucking with me?"
"Why would I do that?" He states, eyes narrowing a bit in defense.
"Because those are supposed to be only myths. Like blood-sucking dogs?" I chuckle.
"I know what I saw." He huffs and rolls his eyes. "You believe dead people are wandering around, but a chupacabra sounds odd?"
"Yes. No. I mean, you have a point." I chuckle and shake my head.
"Exactly." He gently flicks the end of my nose. "Stop laughing." Shaking his head as I swat his hand.
"Fine. You got a point." Shaking my head and wrinkling my nose.
We fall quiet, looking out into the distance, my hand subconsciously playing with the frayed edges of my shorts. After a few moments, I sit up straight and pull my hair down from my ponytail, muttering about my head itching. I'm quick to pull it back up after giving my head a good scratch.
"Ain't ever seen someone with so much hair." Daryl chuckles, looking truly curious.
"Glad to be your first." Looking towards him after my hair is back up. "To be honest, I was thinking about lobbing it off. It's only good for making my head hot and itchy." Shrugging.
"Could make a lasso outta it." He jokes.
"Ha ha." Poking my tongue out at him, to which he responds by flicking the end of it like he did last night.
"What I'd tell you about that?" Raising a playfully challenging brow.
"I don't listen. Especially to chupacabra hunters." Grinning.
"You are gonna wind up with an arrow to the ass." He grins and shakes his head, his tone conveying he is comfortable around me. "Pain in my ass."
"Yeah well, I have to be a pain in someone's." I comment, biting my lip after. I look down at my lap for a moment. Sure, we are smiling and joking a bit, but we both have Sophia in the back of our minds. I'm afraid we won't find her, which is the realist in me. The other part wants to find her, wants to bring her back so we can get back on track and we don't run into another horde.
"I'd say a penny for your thoughts, but it would cost me a fortune." Daryl breaks my train of thought.
"Sorry. Just thinking about Sophia and just wanting to bring her back safely. We've lost a lot and I don't want to lose anymore." I admit, mismatched green and hazel eyes meeting Daryl's gaze.
"We're gonna find her. Won't stop till we do." He assures me, placing his hand on my thigh and squeezing it. My hand comes up and rests on his.
"I know. I also know you and Rick are right about waiting until sunrise." Nodding.
"Well look at you, telling me I'm right." He nudges, beaming a bit. "Might get an ego."
"You already have one, you just hide it." Smirking at him, I bite my lip again. "If that shocks you, then me telling you that -you- have started to make me feel safe should be earth-shattering." Looking away before he could make eye contact.
"That's a first." He comments, the hand on my thigh coming up, curling his index finger under my chin and tipping it up to get me to look at him. While we were joking, his eyes told me he was serious with his next statement as his hand dropped back to my thigh. "No one has ever told me that. Not used to being that kinda person."
"I know. Just you've been honest and upfront, you don't hide who you are and it's new for me. Abby and them make me feel secure, but I have always fought to take care of myself and I have this issue of picking myself up and not letting anyone do it for me. Then the day you shielded Abby and me at the CDC, I saw what kind of man you are." I admit, faintly smiling at him.
"It was the right thing to do." He shrugs softly.
"I know and it was a small gesture, but it's more than some people would have done for us." Clearing my throat.
"Toby… I know you said that back at camp. He was a real fucking piece of work. Men like him make me want to beat the shit outta 'em." Shaking his head. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah." My hand still resting on his.
"Why did you stay?" He asks, lifting his other hand to chew his nail, curious but also a bit weary because it was a deep question.
"Love. Or well was… He was my high school sweetheart. He wasn't always a bastard, not until after high school. That's when the violence started." Trailing off, not ready to open up about everything Toby did to me. Afraid that if I admit that Toby raped and assaulted me multiple times, Daryl would think less of me. I know better, but the nagging voice in my head told me otherwise. Closing my eyes, I try my best to swallow back the tears.
"I'm sorry, Murphy… I didn't mean ta…" He trails off, almost pulling his hand away from mine.
"It's okay. It is what it is and you have a right to ask, especially since I held you to that standard and figured you were the same way." Eyes opening and meeting his gaze. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay, I understand. I'm glad you know now that I ain't like that. Yeah, I'm an asshole. Ain't ever claimed to be anything else, but I will always look out for you. Never gotta worry about that." He promises, having forgiven me for the way I treated him at the start.
That's it. That's how the dam breaks and a few tears escape. I try hard to keep them in but fail. His promise touches me, especially since until a few days ago I was a complete bitch to him. I also want to hold back the tears because I know he's not comfortable with a lot of emotion and I don't want to make him feel awkward. My chin drops in an attempt to hide, lifting the hand not holding his to wipe my eyes.
"Hey…" I hear Daryl murmur and feel him curl his index finger under my chin and tilt it back up. "Has no one ever told you your eyes are too pretty to be crying them tears?" He offers me a smile.
"Damn it." I chuckle, closing my eyes when he wipes the stray tear away with his thumb before retracting his hand. "No. No one has ever told me that." I chuckle again, though it is more out of awkwardness as I sniffle away the last of my tears.
"Well, I'm telling you. I like them and ain't ever seen someone with different colored eyes before. Was the first thing I noticed about you." Giving me a small nod, feeling a bit awkward himself.
"The medical term is Heterochromia iridium, but the short version is, it's a genetic defect. I used to hate it, but I came to love it because it made me different." Shrugging softly, chuckling as he gave me a slightly confused look before I explained why I have two different colored eyes.
"Like I said, too pretty to be having those tears." He comforts me, I can tell that this is his way. I can appreciate it.
"Thanks." Offering a smile.
We sit in silence again, a comfortable one, my hand still holding Daryl's. My thumb brushes over his knuckles subconsciously as I stare into the distance. He shifts a bit, leaning back against his elbow with a sigh, and doesn't attempt to pull his hand away. His hand is grounding me at the moment, keeping me from drifting and retreating into myself, which I was on my way to doing before he showed up. I can feel him glance at me now and then, contemplating. Silence used to be awkward for me when I'm around someone else, other than Abby and my group, but it feels okay here with Daryl. Lifting my free hand, I cover my mouth as I yawn, a second one right behind it.
"Look who's getting sleepy on me." He chuckles, squeezing my hand.
"Lies and slander." I chuckle softly, my exhaustion catching up to me. I'm positive it's because we are hidden from view mostly at the top of the truck when Daryl tugs my hand and pulls me closer to him.
"You should sleep a bit. I need you to be sharp and ready to get at it." He nods.
"I'm not tired." I yawn again, proof that I'm lying.
"Right." He chuckles.
He lays back, resting one arm behind his head as he tugs me close. He doesn't haven't any of my sass as I allow my body to settle next to his, releasing my hand to curl his arm around my shoulder as my head rests on his bicep. I settle, hand coming to rest on his chest. Laying on top of a water truck, a small sheen of sweat clinging to our skin may not be ideal, but it is what it is. I laugh softly as his hand trails along my arm. Again, pretty sure he is only showing this much affection because no one can see us.
"Who said I wanna be laying up here with you, hmm?" Wrinkling my nose.
"You are a pain in the ass, you know that? I'm gonna be fucking grey in a month and it'll be your fault." Looking at me and squinting one eye.
"I know. You never do anything about it…" A yawn stops any other words.
"Shut up and sleep, woman." He grumbles, pressing his lips to my brow and muttering. "Don't be a brat, kitten."
Rolling my eyes, his murmuring against my brow causes me to sigh. It sets something off inside me, something new maybe? Regardless, his words and tone cause me to settle. I can hear his long, slow breaths and feel his goatee brush the tip of my nose. His body is relaxed, but I know his eyes are open. I want to protest, but my eyes are rather heavy. His hand curls around mine, holding it against his chest. I know we have a long day ahead of us and we don't know what the hell we'll find. We just have to be ready.
My mind wanders for a moment and asking how Daryl's hold on me makes me feel small. I'm not talking about appearance-wise. I'm a thick girl, solid and confident. I mean emotionally? I am not all too sure how to describe it. Protected maybe? I just know that in the middle of this, I feel safe and it's because of Daryl. He seems to know what to do and what to say. He doesn't sugarcoat things and what you see is what you get.
"Thanks, Dixon." I murmur and settle against him, ignoring the slight ache I have from laying against the metal of the truck. I am far too comfortable otherwise to care.
"Anytime, McCourt." He murmurs back, the arm around me still trailing fingers over my arm.
Nothing else needs to be said. I close my eyes and even if for only a few moments, attempt to sleep. Even though the evening is starting to get a bit cooler, I find myself quite comfortable. I'll worry about how this makes me feel tomorrow. For tonight, I'm going to just bask in this new feeling. Nothing may come of it, but even if it stayed just as it is, I'd be fine. Daryl and I have common ground and we have each other's backs. That's all we need. I know some things still need work and we are far from being the best of friends, but right now I feel like we have an understanding. For now, we deal with the present, and then, we can worry about all the other bullshit later.