My back is stiff and there is a pain in my hip, but I'm up with the sun. Having hopped down off the water truck early this morning, I'm now standing next to Abby and Joanne, after leaving my guns and holster hanging on the handlebars of Daryl's bike. I agreed with Shane, the fewer guns the better, he, Rick, and John carrying. Abby and I roll our eyes when Andera questions about not getting a gun. She has been grating my nerves the last day or so, but I am chalking it up to the heat and stress. I understand wanting to protect yourself, but I also understand being smart about it and I don't want to deal with another horde. Taking my hair down from the bun I had, I'm quick to braid it down, pretty sure I have given myself a facelift with how tight I pull my hair. Securing it with the rubber band from my wrist. I continue to listen, hearing Shane explain to Andrea why guns aren't a small idea.
"You think I wanna put my guns down, Andrea? No, I don't, but Shane's right. We gotta think smart." Abby chimes in and shakes her head as she stands next to me. "I would rather save my energy looking for Sophia than standing here debating on why we can't have a gun."
Andrea rolls her eyes, grabbing a bat from the hood of the car as I shake my head. Rolling my shoulders, my dingy tank top sticks to me a bit and my thighs are a bit tender with the mix of heat, denim, and the way they rub together. I ignore it for now, used to it from living in the Atlanta heat all my life. I look around at everyone as Rick maps things out. Tensions are a bit high, but it's to be expected. Andrea is glaring and muttering, Abby laughs softly and shakes her head.
"Be careful out there, yeah? I'm not a fan of going without my rifle, but Shane does have a point." Joshua nods as he steps between Abby and me.
"You too." Abby and I look up and state in unison.
Looking down at the hunting knife in my hand, Abby holds up the hatchet she found. The group is going to comb the woods, and Abby and I are going to head along the highway just to ensure Sophia hasn't crawled into any of the cars overnight. Once there is a plan in place, I watch the group head out in the direction Sophia and Rick had run and back along the path that Daryl had found. Looking towards Abby, watching her pull her dark hair up into a tight bun and then wipe her hands on her khaki shorts. We both give a wave to Dale and T-Dog. Black boots meet the pavement, with slightly heavy steps as Abby and I move along cars, peering through windows. The smell of rotting flesh lays thick in the air, almost suffocating, to be honest. It hangs in the air and I can almost feel it coating my skin.
"Remember when I said I wanted to unplug from the world for a while?" Abby chimes in.
"Yeah." Looking up from the gold Honda Civic I was peering in the window of.
"I take it back." She chuckles.
"I bet you do." I laugh. "Hey, at least no student debt." I add.
We chuckle, trying to keep our spirits up. Abby has always been the one okay with her emotions and okay to sit with what she feels. She is the better of the two of us. She can sit with her feelings, I run from mine. I can tell she's hopeful, but I'm starting to wonder. The darker thoughts of what if we don't find Sophia, or worse, we find and she's bitten. Perhaps that is the realist in me. Fuck, it was hard finding a missing person before all this. Now? Yeah, maybe I should stop thinking about that subject.
"Permission to be a bitch?" Abby asks, peering at me through the window of an old Dodge challenger.
"Always." I chirp.
"What the fuck is up with Andrea?" She asks, standing up with a hand on her hip.
"I wish I knew. Maybe adrenaline? She has been on high alert and the issue with Dale forcing her to leave the CDC, maybe it's getting to her. I admit though, she has been a bit of a bitch lately and trying to argue with Shane? That's a losing battle to anyone but Rick." I nod, standing up to stretch my back.
"Making sure it ain't just me." She snorts as we continue to walk along the highway.
"It ain't. Though, I take that back. I think you could probably win an argument with Shane." Raising my brow.
"How do you figure?" She asks, playing innocent.
"I'm not the one he is giving his jacket to and winking at. That's you." Winking at her.
"Eh. Maybe we flirt, but it doesn't mean anything. It keeps my mind off shit and he is pretty to look at." She chuckles.
"I bet he is. Just… be careful? He's nice, but he has a look in his eyes and sometimes it worries me." Leaning down to peek through another car window opening the door when I spot a cloth tote with a few bottles of Gatorade and boxes of pop-tarts. Jackpot.
"Yeah, I get the same feeling at times. I have been chalking it up to he's a cop. He said that one night at camp he was with Rick when he was shot, the man probably has some unresolved PTSD." She nods. "But I am not trying to get in too deep. Ya know?"
"Yeah, I kno–"
I'm cut off as a walker lunges at me from the car I had just peered down into and opened the door. We tumble to the ground, the side of my face hitting the pavement before we roll into a nearby ditch. Its teeth gnash at me, hands gripping my shoulders. It's a woman, the right side of her face missing and her jaw barely hanging on. I can hear Abby call my name as I struggle. Both hands push on her chest, but if I move one she'll have access straight to my face. Planting my boots on the ground, I lift my hips and can finally shove the walker woman off me. My knife tumbled to the ground with me, and I made quick work of grabbing it, just as the woman crawled towards me. Lunging forward, I bring my hand up and drive the knife through the woman's head and let her fall to the ground.
"Are you okay?!" Abby calls, running up to me as I pull my knife from the woman's head and get to my feet.
"Yeah, she just caught me off guard." I grunt, lifting my hand to the corner of my right eye socket that was scraped in my fall. It has a small trickle of blood, but nothing I can't handle.
"Wanna head back?" She asks.
"Nah, let's see what else we can find." I nod.
Abby salutes me as we walk up from the ditch and back into the road. Yeah, my face is throbbing a bit, but it won't stop me. Gonna have a shiner, but not the worst thing to happen. Bending down I grab the tote bag full of Gatorade and pop tarts I had dropped and grumble a bit. The pain gives me a new focus, thinking of all the times in the past I have had more than a scrape. Toby fractured my eye socket once and got mad at me for being late. I threw a vase at him and he caught me in the face with a bat. I asked myself how I was ever okay with that, how I made it as long as I did with Toby.
We started to kneel looking under cars as well, calling Sophia's name. It feels like we are just talking to the wind, but I shut the realist in me up and shake my head.
"What's that look for?" Abby noticed the face I made.
"What?" Turning to look at her.
"You are making the face like something is eating you and I know it ain't the walker back there." She nods and goes to open the hatch on a wagon, rummaging through the contents and pulling out a few blankets before coming across a few gas cans.
"You know me. My brain is trying to tell me searching is hopeless, but I keep telling it to shut up." I explain.
"I would be lying if I said I have not had the same thoughts, but I owe it to Carol to at least try. Especially since I know what it's like to be left." She nods. Her ex, Kevin, up and left her one day. Told her it wasn't working out and left.
"That's what I keep telling myself." I agree.
We stop once we realize we have made it quite a way from the RV and the sun was getting low. I lift my hand, wiping sweat from my brow, hissing a bit when I brush the scrape and grumble.
"Want to head back?" I ask.
"Was thinking the same thing." She responds as she grabs the two gas cans she found, luckily full already.
"So how do things go with you and Daryl? Haven't tried to off one another?" She looks towards me as I pull the tote bags over my shoulder.
"Better. We started over and I have been telling him about Toby. Just kinda realizing he and I have more in common than I thought we did." Shrugging as we walk along.
"Good. I'm glad you seem to be opening up, you deserve all the friends, Murph. People see in you what I know you have trouble seeing in yourself." She adds.
"As always, gonna take your word for it." Nodding.
"My word is the best word." She chuckles. "Maybe by the time we're back, Andrea will have pulled the stick from her ass."
"Maybe." I laugh as we walk in silence for a bit.
Looking into the distance, everything seems to be tinting orange, signifying that the sun is setting. I've always enjoyed sunsets and sunrises. Ever since I was little. I even remember one time, Abby's grandparents took us to the beach and we got to watch the sunset. Was one of the best days I can remember. I can also see the group in the distance returning as Abby finishes placing a bandage over the scrape on my face. I noticed the group is short minus Rick, Shane, Carl, and Lori. Abby and I share a look before continuing, setting our bags and gas cans down by the RV. I can hear Glenn talking about a woman on a horse and Lori going with her because Carl had been shot.
"That sounds like a fever dream." It comes out of my mouth before I can stop it. "Sorry." I follow up and step back with my hands in my pockets as everyone looks at me for a moment. My gaze casts down to my feet, feeling small for a moment before gazing back up as Dale tells us we need to reconnect with our group and that T-Dog needs help. Looking towards T-Dog I can see he is unwell. I chew at the chapped skin of my lips, stepping away from the group as Daryl goes through Merle's stash.
Looking up, I catch the pill bottles he tosses and make my way over to T-Dog, grabbing the bottle of water John offers me. I offer him a smile guiding him to lean against the hood of a nearby car. I listen to the others behind us, talking about our next action plan. I grab what's left of the first aid kit as well, having left it by the RV.
"Not gonna lie, it's bad, but I will do what I can." Nodding, gingerly lifting his arm, peeling back the old bandage.
"Thanks, Doc." He murmurs and I can tell he's clearly out of it.
"Hey, here. Take two of these." Pocketing the painkillers and doing the same with the antibiotics after dumping two in my hand.
I'm worried, and autopilot is kicking in. I do it a lot, I know. More than anyone should, but it has been my way to survive for over a decade. I do chuckle at myself as I'm nearing thirty and you'd think I would have all my shit together. I shake the thoughts, helping T-Dog with the water bottle. I can see he's in pain and the sweating is more than just the heat. His body is going into shock, his mumblings sound like delusions.
While not sanitary, I pour the remaining water over the wound after I remove the bandage. I can hear everyone debating about staying and following the woman on the horse to her farm. My focus though is bandaging T-Dog's arm the best I can with the remaining clothes and tape. Once done, I smile at him.
"Hey, stay with me yeah?" Placing a hand on his cheek.
"Doin' my best, Doc." He chuckles faintly, his eyes looking a bit hazy.
We both look up when there is a vote to be had. Who is staying and who is going? Of course, there are a few arguments, but I can see the point. Divide and conquer. We need to reconnect with Rick and them, find out where the fuck we are all at and if anything gets us off the highway to avoid another herd.
"Murphy, would you be okay with getting Glenn and T-Dog to the farm?" Dale asks.
"Yeah, I can do that." Nodding as I offer T-Dog my hand.
"Abby and I can go too. Just in case." Joshua pipes in.
Nodding, I help T-Dog into Carol's car. I get him settled, offering a smile and getting thanks in return. I can only hope for the best at this point. Abby climbs in next to T-Dog, offering her hand which he takes. She's nervous, but she is doing what she does best and comforting him. I can hear her tell him it'll be okay, chuckling softly and telling him a joke, though I can't make it out.
Walking over to Daryl's bike, I lift my holster off the handlebars and slide it over my shoulders, adjusting it a bit. Opening the bike's saddle bag, I grab my other gun and secure it, along with the one that was already in the holster. Lifting my arms above my head, I stretch a bit and squeak. I don't have to turn around to know where a low chuckle comes from. I finish my stretch before looking over my shoulder.
"You're like a fucking field mouse." Daryl chuckles low once more.
"Fuck you, Dixon." Offering him a smile as I turn and nudge him.
"You trying to flirt with me?" He asks softly, silently asking me about my eye with a lift of his chin.
"Hmm, maybe?" Chuckling. "Be careful yeah? If anyone is going to take you out, it's gonna be me." I joke softly, nodding and silently telling him I'm okay.
"Yes, ma'am." He salutes me, but I don't miss the brush of his fingers against the back of my hand when he drops his hand.
I watch him walk away before making my way back over to Carol's Cherokee and climbing in.
"How's the patient?" I ask, looking over my shoulder as Joshua climbs into the back seat and Glenn behind the wheel.
"Will just be happy to get off this highway." T-Dog responds as he lays his head back against the seat.
I glance out the back window at the group before Glenn pulls away. T-Dog closes his eyes, hand still in Abby's as we drive. I feel Joshua reach over the seat and give my shoulder a squeeze, to which I reply by laying my hand over his. The ride is quiet, and awkward because we don't know what we are walking into. This could be a trap, but then also what if something has happened between then and now? We could be walking into our group injured or worse.
"I think we should be ready, just as a precaution. Since we don't know what we are walking into." Joshua chimes in.
We all agree, and approach with caution, but also realize that these people may be just like us. Left to survive and just trying to make sure they and theirs stay safe. Nodding, I lay my head back against the seat and sighed. I wish I could turn my brain off. I feel like a broken record. Maybe I am and maybe I'm not. Either way. I can't get the endless train of thoughts to stop. So I do what I always do, kick it into autopilot. Shut off emotions and tell myself there is no place for them right now. We have to get to our destination, get T-Dog help, and also get answers on what the hell is going on.