No Amor

Cancun, 1978

A bronze foot skims the surface of a crystal-clear pond, first in circles and then, without hesitation, downwards. Small toes with orange nails, meticulously painted, flex and stretch as if the cool water was the only thing keeping them from burning. Beneath the sole there is infinite darkness, at the surface there are ripples of light.

Nalini stares at the contrast of her foot and the darkness beneath her with a half-dead gaze. A tear falls and breaks the glass-like surface of the water. She immediately wipes her eyes and ruins her makeup in the process.

Fuck it, she thinks. Fuck it all to hell.

The jungle around her is alive with buzz. The green sways above her. Nalini sees this in the pond's reflection but she remains stills. Silent and angry. The jungle hisses with heat and so does she.

Crouched over the edge of a pond she keeps her right foot under the surface. Her cargo shorts and lime-green crop top are drenched in sweat. Another tear she hopes is sweat rolls over her dark cheeks. On her right wrist is a jade bracelet.

"Señora, the driver no wait longer," someone with broken English calls out to her.

"Fuck him too then," she groans painfully.

"Señora?" The voice is extremely polite.

Nalini snaps around at a short man, not really minding the waterworks welling in her eyes.

"Whateva' man, he gotta' go then he gotta' go."

The man stands quietly at the mouth of the trail leading into the pond. He clutches a wide-brimmed hand in-between his hands.

He pauses for a long while before responding with "we wait."

Nalini scoffs and turns her gaze back onto the water, not quite receiving the answer she was expecting. She rests her chin on the knee and shuts her eyes.

"I waited," her whisper is faint but clear enough to reverberate across the water.

"I waited for damn sure." Her voice breaks.

More tears.

"Stop crying!" Nalini groans and breaks the surface with her fist. Water lands on her face and wipes any proof of her misery away. The pondwater ripples outwards, touches the mossy banks and ripples back.

Nalini wipes the water from her face and notices her naked wrist. The bracelet is gone.

"No-no-no-no-no," she whimpers.

Nalini scrambles to find the bracelet around her. She digs her fingers through the earth, tearing away root and rock alike. Beneath the surface several jade beads, unchained by the bracelet, descend into the depths of the pond. One of them finally lands.

I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it.

The bead rests on drowned earth.

I didn't.

The bead glows.

Nalini stands up, her hands gripped her hair in anguish. The man with a hat waves at her.

"Señora!"

A painful hiss of air escapes her throat.

"We leave now."

"I can't!" She screams back as she turns to her guide.

The jungle becomes silent.

Her heartbeat is deafening.

Behind her a brown man with pointed ears wraps his arms around her body. His jade necklace slides against her back. He rests his bearded chin on her shoulder.

"I told you never to come back," he hissed.

Nalini's eyes begin to swell. "I waited for you!"

The man with the hat steps forward.

The man with the pointed ears responds by taking a step backwards. Suddenly, both Nalini and he are gone. Ripples reach out to the mossy banks and return.