Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.
"Astarte, dear?"
"Yes, Mrs. Igarashi?"
"I thought you said you weren't going to take slaves anymore."
"I did. Slavery is no longer tolerated in this day and age."
"How do you explain this, then?" Yukimi asked, gesturing at the various men and women pampering Astarte, doing her nails, fanning her, brushing her hair, polishing her horns and armor, waxing her wings, massaging her shoulders, and feeding her succulents.
"They're unpaid interns," Astarte explained. "Which I am told is similar to being a slave in this era, but with less negative connotations. I put out a want ad."
"Ah," Yukimi replied.
"Nobody is here that doesn't want to be here," Astarte assured her. "I naturally generate pheromones that draw particular people to me – people seeking succor and comfort, looking for a place to belong, those who find pleasure in service to others, the overlooked and forgotten. I give them purpose, a home, a master in return for their service and affection. It isn't much, but this is just the first step towards one day rebuilding my kingdom."
"Hey, I'm getting college credit for this, right?" A young man massaging her feet asked.
"No," Astarte replied flatly.
He promptly got up and left.
Astarte sighed in disappointment, then shrugged and beckoned forward another unpaid intern to take his place. "Oh well, he wasn't very good anyway."
Yukimi shrugged. "Well, all right, so long as you don't drive away customers. Business has been a little slow lately."
"I believe that may be Vice's fault," Astarte said, nodding out the window, where Vice could be seen chasing after bystanders, yelling at them to come try the Happy Spa, grabbing anyone he could get his claws on and bodily dragging them towards the bathhouse, kicking and screaming.
Yukimi facepalmed. "Oh, Vice… I think I'm going to threaten to discontinue the rubber duckies with his face, maybe that'll make him cut it out."
"One can only hope," Astarte agreed.
The bell over the front door jingled.
"Oh, a customer!" Yukimi said in delight, turning towards the entrance and bowing deeply. "I'm very sorry for my son's demon, I promise to reprimand him later-"
"That won't be necessary, Mrs. Igarashi."
Startled, Yukimi glanced up and was elated to see Azuma and Giff, once more wearing his atrocious Cousin Giffrey disguise, standing before her. "Oh! Giff and Azuma! I wasn't expecting a visit from you two! You should've called ahead, I'd have arranged something! Most of the family is out right now, but if I call them I'm sure they'd be happy to come back-"
"That's perfectly all right, Yukimi," Giff assured her. "This isn't a social visit, anyway."
Astarte glanced up, frowning. "No? Why are you here then, Giff?"
"Well-" Giff started, only to notice her entourage. "Oh, you decided to start taking slaves again? I thought that was frowned upon in this day and age."
"It is, they're unpaid interns," Astarte explained.
"What's the difference?" Giff asked.
"The title, mainly."
"Ah."
Azuma cleared his throat. "Oh! Right, the reason I'm here," Giffrey called. "Yukimi, may I speak to George Karizaki, please? I have an extremely important matter to discuss with him. I tried calling and texting, but there was no response, and his mailbox is full."
Yukimi made a face. "Yes, that sounds like George. I think he's currently at his lab at Weekend headquarters. When he's really busy with his research, he turns his cell phone off to avoid any distractions."
Giff grimaced. "That is… Unfortunate. Do you know when he will return?"
"I'm sorry, but I don't," Yukimi said apologetically. "Sometimes he stays the night and doesn't show up until late the next day, or maybe the day after that. Would you like to leave a message?"
Giff shook his head. "I'm sorry, but the matter I need to discuss with him is very urgent and extremely time sensitive. It would not be hyperbole to say that every minute counts."
Yukimi gasped. "Oh my! That sounds serious! But…" She hesitated, then reluctantly said, "Giff, I know we are on good terms now, but… We ARE on opposite sides. I'm not sure it would be a good idea for you to know the location of our base."
"She has a point, my Lord," Azuma admitted. "It would grant us a serious tactical advantage should hostilities resume."
Giff grimaced. "That might be true, but… Yukimi, please. This is serious. This is more than a matter of life and death. A woman's very soul is on the line. You told me that you believed I could do better, that I could help people, yes? That's what I'm trying to do now. President Hiden and his wife are counting on me, as is someone very dear to them. If I can't save her, then…"
Yukimi's expression softened. "The Hidens asked you? Well, if that's the case, then maybe…" She frowned, and shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I still can't help you. I don't know where Weekend's headquarters are. I've never been."
"Do you know anyone who does know where it is?" Giff asked with a hint of desperation.
"Do you, lady Astarte?" Azuma asked the other demon.
"I haven't, the senior Karizaki is wary of allowing an elder demon like myself on the premises, even with Lovekov vouching for me," Astarte said in apology.
Yukimi considered. "Let me think… Genta's out shooting a video with Buu and Vail, Ikki's visiting Ayaka at the hospital, Sakura and Hana are on a date, Tamaki and Ampaz are at a tournament, and Lovekov is at school, which only leaves…"
As one, everyone turned to look out the window, where they saw Vice manhandling a woman. "Come to Happy spa!" He bellowed in her face, causing her to scream. "You'll have a devilishly good time! Our baths are to die for, muhahahahaha!"
The woman shrieked and hit him over the head with her purse. "Ow! Ow! That's uncalled for!" He complained.
"Does Vice know?" Giff asked.
"He does," Yukimi said wearily. "Take him. Please."
"Certainly. Thank you for your help, Yukimi," Giff said gratefully.
"I don't think I really did much, but you're welcome. And…" Yukimi bit her lip. "Daiji. How… How is he?"
Giff and Azuma exchanged uncomfortable looks. "He's… A work in progress," Giff said after a moment. "I invited him to come with us to visit, but he said he wasn't ready to see any of you."
Yukimi's face fell, crestfallen. "Oh."
"So I offered to rip out his eyes, and he got upset about that for some reason-"
"WHAT?!" Yukimi shrieked.
"Yes, that's what exactly what he said when I made the offer," Giff complained. "He said he wasn't ready to see any of you, so I offered to take out his eyes, so he wouldn't have to actually see any of you. I don't get what the big deal is. I would've grown him new ones later! Better ones!" He scratched his head in puzzlement. "For some reason, he didn't like that option either."
"I wonder why…" Astarte muttered, rolling her eyes.
"So do I!" Giff agreed, missing her sarcasm. "And then Akaishi told Daiji that as my grandson he should obey me and let me pull out his eyes if I wanted to, and Daiji started yelling about how this wasn't Kubo and the Two Strings, and was that a reference or something? I had no idea what he was talking about."
"It was," Yukimi replied. "And he's right, this isn't Kubo." She considered for a moment. "Although… Well, his father can turn into a beetle warrior. Though I'm not a monkey."
"Georgina is," Astarte pointed out.
"Yes, but the two of them aren't married. Or they better not be…" Yukimi murmured darkly.
"I'm still confused," Giff complained.
"Don't worry, my Lord, we'll watch the movie some other time," Azuma assured him. "For now, let's go speak to your grandson."
"An excellent idea," Giff agreed. "Until next time, Yukimi. Hopefully we'll be able to stay longer, long enough to finally partake in the baths I've heard so much about."
"You're welcome back anytime," Yukimi said warmly. "Oh, and Azuma?"
"Yes, Mrs. Igarashi?"
"You're looking much better. It's not just the haircut or the fact that you're wearing decent clothes and have clearly been bathing regularly. You seem… Happier, now," Yukimi observed.
"I do?" Azuma asked in surprise. After a moment of reflection, he admitted, "Perhaps I am. My life has certainly improved greatly since last I saw you, and not just because I'm no longer living in a cave. And…" He shot a fond glance at Giff. "I don't think I'm the only one."
"I think you might be right about that," Yukimi agreed, leaving Giff flustered.
"Yes. Well. We should get going," Giff said hurriedly. "Oh, and Astarte, congratulations on your new unpaid interns. Will any of them be joining your harem?"
Astarte glanced over her unpaid interns, especially the more attractive females. "We'll see."
Giff and Azuma left the bathhouse and approached Vice, just in time to see him get maced by the woman he was manhandling as well as getting a taser rammed into his crotch. "OW! FUCK!" He screamed, clutching his groin and eyes as the woman ran off. "Screw you, lady! Next time I see you, I'm going to eat you!"
"Hello, grandson-I mean, cousin!"
"Huh?" Blinking back tears, Vice turned and squinted at Giff. "Oh! Gramps – I mean, Cousin Giffrey! Wasn't expecting to see you today! Well, not that I can see much of anything right now… Did you bring me a present?"
Confused, Giff glanced Azuma. "Was I supposed to?"
Azuma shrugged unhelpfully.
"No, I did not," Giff admitted to a very disappointed Vice. "However, I do require your help in an urgent matter. Can you please take me to George Karizaki's lab? I need to speak with him immediately."
"Huh? You want to talk to Georgie? Well, I guess I can take you there…" Vice muttered, only to smack his forehead. "No, wait, I can't do that, old man Karizaki would kill me if I showed you where our secret hideout is!"
"Please, Vice, this is a matter of life and death," Giff begged his grandson.
"It's that serious?" Vice murmured in surprise. "Well… Oh, hang on, I think I might have an idea…Yeah, I can take you guys there, but first, one question: can we get ice cream on the way?"
"I suppose so, so long as it's quick," Giff conceded.
"Yay! You're paying."
"Okay, you can take your blindfold off now!" Vice announced sometime later.
Giff and Azuma dutifully took off the blindfolds Vice had put on them, revealing that they were in the command center of Weekend, surrounded by numerous monitors displaying the organization's logo as well as feeds from all over the city.
"Welcome to Weekend!" Vice declared.
"Fascinating," Giff remarked, turning around to take everything in. "It is… Far less advanced than ARARAT. And rather more drab. I'm astonished that you've managed to base a rebellion out of a setup like this and that we have not crushed you by now."
"Hey, we don't all have nearly bottomless pockets and fancy government contracts like Fenix," Vice said defensively.
Azuma frowned, looking at one of the screens. "Hang on… Isn't that Akaishi's office? Do you have spies in ARARAT?"
"You know what, let's get you to George's lab already before old man Karizaki comes in and sees this, because he is not going to be happy if he finds you here-" Vice said anxiously.
"What the hell is this?!"
Vice cringed. "Ah crap."
Masumi Karizaki was standing at the top of the stairs leading into the command center, holding a steaming coffee mug, an incredulous look on his face.
Well. Presumably. He was wearing a mask, after all.
"Vice," he said slowly. "Why is our archenemy and his greatest assassin standing in the middle of our secret hideout?"
"Oh! Don't worry, Mr. Karizaki, we are currently in the middle of a cease-fire and so are not enemies, so it's perfectly all right for us to be here," Giff said cheerfully.
"That's… Not how it works, my Lord," Azuma told him.
"It's not? Really?" Giff asked in surprise. "Oh. I was not aware of this."
"Don't worry, Mr. Karizaki, I made sure to blindfold them on the way here so they have no idea where we are," Vice assured Masumi.
"Oh, is that why you had us wrap those pieces of cloth over our faces?" Giff asked in surprise. "I thought that was some new fashion statement the youth of today wear. I was able to see everything just fine thanks to my superior eyes, I know exactly where we are."
Everyone stared him. "… Why would you possibly think it was a fashion statement?!" Azuma demanded.
"Have you seen what kids these days are wearing?" Giff countered, and Azuma was forced to admit he had a point.
Masumi tried to pinch his nose, only to remember he was wearing a mask. He took a deep breath, counted to 10, then announced, "I've decided this is all nothing more than a stress-induced hallucination. I am going to leave the room and come back in exactly 1 minute, and none of you will be here. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes," Vice and Azuma said at the same time as Giff said "No."
"Perfect." Masumi turned and left the room.
"Okay, let's get the two of you out of here and into Georgie's lab before the old man comes back, given his poor health I'm pretty sure the resulting heart attack would kill him," Vice said anxiously.
"He's in poor health? I could probably help with that-" Giff started.
"A conversation for another time, my Lord, let's go," Azuma urged his master.
The three of them quickly left the command center, and Vice led them through the winding hallways zigzagging beneath the Ushijima household to George's lab, only to find the door locked, a "do not disturb" sign pasted on it, loud music emanating from the other side.
Vice casually kicked the door in and entered the room, bellowing, "Oh Georgie! You have visitors!"
A beaker was hurled at his head, and he screamed as it shattered and spilled chemicals all over his face. "AAAAHHH! My eyes! I just got used to seeing with them again!" He screamed, falling to the ground and writhing in agony.
Giff and Azuma casually stepped over Vice and into the laboratory. Much like the rest of the Weekend base, it looked like someone's basement – which, to be fair, it was – with busy workbenches covered in complex scientific equipment, bubbling beakers and chemistry sets, crackling power dynamos, whiteboards covered in complex mathematical formulas and specs for new Drivers, incomplete Drivers and weapons lying on tables, racks full of Vistamps, and of course an obscene amount of Kamen Rider memorabilia, with posters covering the walls, life-sized statues shoved in the corners, and shelves full of action figures, plushies, signed autographs, toy Drivers and collectibles, actual Drivers and collectibles, and a body pillow of Kuuga. George was sitting at his desk, busy at work on one of his minicomputers, wearing a heavy duty headset and singing the names of Riders while sounding like he was having a massively prolonged orgasm. Standing next to him, hairy arm wound back to throw another beaker at them, was a gorilla in a lab coat.
"Ook!" The gorilla grunted in surprise, putting down the beaker and tapping George while he was in the middle of the chorus.
George frowned and took off his headphones. "What? Georgina, I told you not to bother me when I'm singing-"
"Hello, George," Giff spoke up.
Startled, George spun around in his chair so fast he nearly fell out of it. "Hey, hey, hey! If it isn't my favorite demon king, assassin, and least favorite Igarashi!"
"I'm your what?!" Vice yelled from the floor.
"What are you guys doing here? Wait, hang on, does my dad know you're here?" George wondered in concern.
"No, he convinced himself we are a stress-induced hallucination," Azuma assured him.
"Ah, that would do it," George agreed.
"It is good to see you again, George," Giff said. "And you as well, Georgina."
"Ook," Georgina replied.
"Wait, I thought you were supposed to leave her at Hiden Land," Azuma recalled in puzzlement.
"Yes, I was," George agreed.
"But you did not."
"No."
Azuma waited for George to volunteer further information. When the scientist did not, he decided to drop it.
"Anyway, what are you guys doing here? I doubt you would have come all the way to see little old me just for a social visit," George joked.
"George, I need your help with an urgent matter," Giff explained. "I tried to reach you, but you wouldn't answer your phone."
"Huh?" Surprised, George took out his phone. "Oh, sorry, I turn it off whenever I'm in the zone."
"That's a very bad habit," Azuma chided him. "What if it were an emergency?"
"Ook!" Georgina agreed, crossing her arms and giving George a stern look.
"All right, all right, fine, I'll leave it on at all times, just on silent," George grumbled, turning his phone back on. He grimaced when he checked his notifications. "Oh wow, you really tried to reach me. Is it that serious? This isn't something you could take to the others?"
"This is something you and only you can help me with, George," Giff began. "I was recently approached by Aruto and Izu Hiden-"
"I'm in," George said immediately.
Giff blinked. "You don't even know what I need your help with."
"If the first Rider of the Reiwa era and his smoking hot wife need your help, then I want in," George emphasized. "How can I help?"
"The Hidens have requested my help in performing an exorcism on a HumaGear named Azu-" Giff started.
"Wait, hang on," George interrupted, astonished. "Azu? The Azu? As in, the anti-Izu? The voice of the Ark? One of the most feared and despised beings in their entire religion?"
"Yes. Is that a problem?" Giff asked.
"No, just wanted to make sure it was the same Azu."
"Is she as hot as Izu?" Vice asked, intrigued.
"Hotter, her core temperature is significantly higher, no doubt due to her body breaking down thanks to a lack of maintenance and the ravages her systems are suffering from possession by the Ark," Giff replied.
For some reason, everyone stared at him.
"Wait, you can see body temperatures?" George asked in excitement.
"You can't?" Giff replied in surprise.
Azuma cleared his throat.
"Anyway, to perform the exorcism, I require six specific Vistamps," Giff continued. "I already possess three, but I require you to make the others."
George grinned at this, his glasses shining ominously. "Ha! So the labs in Fenix can't cut it, so you come crawling to me, is that it?"
"I'm not crawling, I walked on my own 2 feet," Giff said in confusion.
George cackled maniacally, earning him concerned looks from Georgina, Vice, and Azuma. "Hey, hey, hey, if this isn't my lucky day… Before we discuss payment, what Vistamps do you need?"
"The Wolf, Falcon, and Dodo," Giff replied.
"Dodo? Why do you need a dodo?" Vice asked, perplexed.
"Four of the Vistamps correspond to the members of Metsuboujinrai dot net, whose power I will need to invoke for the ceremony," Giff explained.
"I see, I see… Yes, that makes sense," George murmured, steeping his fingers together. "The Wolf should be easy enough, the proto-Vistamp for it already exists… The other two, now… That'll be a bit trickier. When do you need them by?"
"The next half-moon," Giff informed him.
George made a face. "Goddamn! Cutting it close, aren't you? I could have them ready by then, but I'll need to use a lot of resources I'd planned for other projects, so it's gonna cost you."
"No cost is too great to save a soul," Giff said emphatically.
"Fortunately, this won't cost you too badly! I just need your eyeballs," George said with a wicked grin.
"Oh, is that all? Very well," Giff said, reaching for his eyes.
"Gah! No! Not while I'm here!" Vice wailed, covering his eyes, though he couldn't resist peeking through his fingers. Hooting and shrieking, Georgina did the same.
Azuma grabbed his master's wrist. "Hold on, my lord. Shouldn't we find out why he wants to use your eyes in the first place?"
"I'm sure it's nothing too bad," Giff said dismissively.
"Yep. Not bad at all," George said, trying very hard to look innocent and failing.
Azuma glared at him. "I'd like a little more clarification than that."
George groaned and rolled his eyes. "Ugh, fine. Georgina! Bring out the Chimera Driver!"
Hooting, the gorilla lumbered across the room, grabbed a case, and carried it back to George, who opened it and pulled out a largely black device resembling a retooled Revice Driver with a gray Vistamp slot on the left side with three pipes running from underneath to conduits on the right side and a few gold components.
"ANOTHER Driver?!" Vice exclaimed. "Don't we have enough of those already? Seriously, it's starting to feel like we're approaching Zero-One levels of transformation belts."
George grinned. "That's right! This is the Chimera Driver, which can turn anyone into a Kamen Rider without using any demon power whatsoever!"
"Hey, what's wrong with demon power?!" Vice asked indignantly.
"It can be dangerous and volatile, and more importantly, daddy never invented any Drivers that didn't use demon power, so by making one myself I'll prove my superiority over him!" George declared.
"Oh, so it's another petty thing from your extremely unhealthy relationship with your dad," Vice realized.
"Yeah, pretty much," George admitted.
"Fascinating! Does it work?" An amazed Giff asked.
"Yes!… Is what I would like to say," George lamented. "When I tried it on myself, it backfired, and causing daddy's inner demon to manifest. That's him in the cage over there," he said, nodding at a cage at the back of the lab containing a hideous black and white demon resembling a sick and twisted caricature of George himself with a grotesque smile and spiky golden "hair" going down the left side of his head.
"Oh yeah, I was wondering about him," Vice admitted.
"Georgie, let me out! This is no way to treat your father…'s Demon!" The demon yelled, shaking the bars of his cage.
"Shut up, Chic!" George yelled at him. "He tried to convince me to work with him to use the Driver to create an army of immortal Kamen Riders, but I told him no, and then Georgina knocked him out when he made a grab for the Driver and shoved him into a cage."
"And a masterful punch it was, Georgina! I can still feel it now!" Chic complemented the gorilla while rubbing his chin, who hooted in delight and fluttered her eyelashes at him.
Everyone stared. "Are… Are they…" Vice stammered.
"Flirting? Yes," George said wearily, a haunted look in his eyes. "Incessantly."
Vice, rather understandably, looked as if he wanted to throw up.
"If you're going to be sick, do it away from my collectibles," George snapped, noticing Vice was a little too close to one of his many shelves of memorabilia. "Otherwise I'm going to make that Dung Beetle Vistamp for real."
Vice paled at this.
"And what does your father think of this?" The disturbed Azuma asked as he watched Georgina giggle girlishly as Chic winked at her.
"Took one look and walked out of the lab, saying he wanted nothing to do with this," George said darkly.
"Just like how he treated you for the last several years!" Chic said cheerfully.
"Shut up, Daddy! I mean, Chic! Gaim, this is so screwed up," George complained. "If it weren't for the fact that you're a valuable resource specimen I'd have killed you ages ago!"
"Which speaks volumes about your relationship with your father, Georgie boy," Chic said, waggling his eyebrows and causing Georgina to laugh.
George clenched his teeth and turned back to his guests. "Anyway," he said loudly. "Understandably a Driver which causes gay clowns to pop out of people's bodies isn't ideal for anyone to use-"
"I'm not gay, I'm bisexual, and you know it!" Chic yelled.
"I made a number of modifications before trying again on another test subject, who totally volunteered and I absolutely didn't have Georgina grab off the street and bring here against their will," George insisted. "The results, well, they speak for themselves."
He nodded at another cage at the back of the room containing a grotesque monster with bronze-scaled reptilian legs and feet and a grotesque greenish upper half covered in uneven carapace with a ribbed horn growing diagonally over their chest, claws growing from the right shoulder, the right arm nothing more than an elongated pair of digits, and a hideous face with three white eyes, a second mouth growing where the fourth eye would've been over the top of its head, and a twisted horn growing from the right side of his head. It shrieked and shook the bars of its prison.
"Oh yeah, I was wondering about that," Vice admitted.
"Understandably, this isn't an ideal result either, since who wants to use a Driver which turns them into a demon… And not a sexy one?" George asked rhetorically.
Giff frowned and glanced at Azuma. "Should I be offended by that?"
His servant shrugged.
"I'm actually okay with having such an ugly roommate, since it means I've got nobody to compete with for the affections of this hirsute beauty over here," Chic commented, grinning at Georgina, who hooted happily. George's eye twitched.
"So, I went back to the drawing board, and, despite my best efforts, I'm afraid I'll have to use demon power after all," George lamented, nodding at Georgina, who pushed over a whiteboard covered in complex mathematical formula and diagrams. "I've determined that the only way to keep the Chimera Driver from having such terrible side effects is by installing Giff's eyes into them."
Giff examined the whiteboard for a moment, then nodded in agreement. "Yes, the math checks out. Using my eyes should work."
"Wait, you actually understood all that?" George asked, impressed.
"Math is a universal language. I may be somewhat out of touch by this era's standards, but I'm not stupid, and this isn't the only world I've ever been to with advanced technology, though yours still has a long way to go," Giff pointed out.
"Wait, you've been to other advanced planets? Then why do you seem so confused by modern technology and phones and other stuff?" Vice asked in confusion.
"Because by the standards of most other worlds I've been to, the majority of your technology is woefully obsolete. Do you know how to use a computer or phone made decades ago?" Giff asked.
"Good point."
"Anyway, this seems like a worthy cause, so I'll be more than happy to give you my eyes," Giff began, reaching towards his face again.
"My Lord, wait!" Azuma protested urgently. "Are you sure this is a good idea? If the Chimera Driver works, then it will provide our enemies with another weapon to use against us should hostilities resume."
"You're absolutely right," Giff agreed. "However, consider this. We just found out the location of Weekend's main base, giving us a significant advantage over them, unless they can easily relocate."
"We can't," Chic confirmed cheerfully, much to George's frustration.
"Therefore, by allowing them to complete a new Driver, that will even things out a bit if we wind up fighting again," Giff reasoned. "It's only fair."
Azuma frowned. "I'm not sure I agree with your reasoning… But I suppose I understand your logic. However, if we are going to do this… George, how many eyes do you need?"
"Well, I need one per Driver, and I've already built two, so… Two, unless you're willing to donate more," George asked hopefully.
"We are not," Azuma said. He paused, then glanced at Giff. "I'm sorry, my Lord, I don't mean to speak for you, but-"
"No, you're right, I think two is sufficient," Giff agreed. "I don't want the scales to be tipped too far in the other direction, after all."
"In that case, I ask that you give me one of the Drivers, George," Azuma announced, to everyone's surprise.
"What? Why the hell would I do that?!" George demanded.
"Thanks to my immortal body, I should be able to withstand any of the ill effects from the Driver," Azuma reasoned. "You can use the resulting data to further adjust the Driver in your possession to make sure it's completely safe for use by ordinary humans. In addition, if each side has a Chimera Driver of their own, that means they're effective counters against each other and, as my Lord put it, keeps the balance from tipping too far in either direction."
George's eyes lit up at this. "Goddamn… That's one hell of an idea, Azuma! Not to mention the data I could collect could help me with another project of mine and help me create a Driver that REALLY doesn't need demon power!"
"You know, I'd be happy more than happy to help you, Georgie, if you just let me out of here," Chic offered.
"Not happening! Shut up! And stop hitting on my mother!" George snapped.
"She's a gorilla you stole from a petting zoo," Vice pointed out.
"And she's still a better mother than my real one ever was," George said.
Everyone stared at him. "… That's incredibly sad," Azuma said after a moment.
"George, I think you need to go to family therapy," Vice said seriously.
"That would mean talking to my father, so hard pass," George said flatly.
"So, do we have a deal then?" Giff asked. "I give you my eyes in exchange for one of the Chimera Drivers and the Vistamps I need?"
George nodded. "Works for me."
"Shall we sign a contract?" Giff asked, producing one of his contracts.
George considered this. "My daddy would tell me never to sign a contract without reading all the fine print, especially if it's from a demon… But I hate him so fuck it, I'll sign."
"Georgie, even I don't think that's a good idea-" Chic protested.
"All the more reason for me to do it!" George said happily, taking the offered Giff stamp and using it to stamp the contract, unleashing a blast of power which shook the room.
"The contract has been sealed," Giff declared. "And now, as promised, you shall have your eyes."
He then reached up and plucked out his eyeballs.
Vice promptly removed his mask and threw up.
George, without even looking, pointed a finger at him. "Dung Beetle!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Here you go," Giff said, handing the eager young scientist his eyes, new ones already growing back in his face. "As promised."
"Goddamn!" George cackled in excitement. "Georgina, catch!"
He tossed one of the eyes at the gorilla. She reflexively caught it, then shrieked and frantically started juggling it between her hands, not wanting to touch the orb.
George, in the meantime, flipped over the Chimera Driver and pulled off the back plate, sticking the eye he was still holding inside. He replaced the plate, and energy crackled around the device, a faint hum emanating from it.
"Yes! It fit!" George cried. "But of course, it's time for the crucial test…"
He tossed the Driver and a Vistamp resembling a cross between an octopus, rhinoceros, and centipede at Azuma. "Here! Try it out!"
"In here?" Azuma asked in surprise.
"Yes! Do it now! Do it now!" George insisted, eyes feverish, practically drooling.
Azuma glanced at Giff, who nodded. He shrugged, strapped on the Driver, and raised a Vistamp. "Game on!" He said in English for some reason before slamming the Vistamp into the slot on his Driver, energy channeling through the pipes into the conduits.
TRI CHIMERA! OCTO! RHINOCEROS! CENTIPEDE! COME ON! CHIMERA! CHIMERA! CHIMERA! OCTO! RHINOCEROS! CENTIPEDE! COME ON! CHIMERA! CHIMERA! CHIMERA!
"HENSHIN!" Azuma shouted as a red energy octopus, magenta energy rhinoceros, and orange energy centipede materialized around him. The constructs shattered, their pieces covering his body, which then exploded outwards, revealing his Rider form.
He was wearing a black bodysuit with orange and silver armor on his shins, boots, upper arms, and lower arms, with orange and silver chest armor vaguely resembling the top half of a lion's face with a red tentacular horn growing from his heart, a red and black pauldron on his right shoulder, silver armor with a red horn covering his left shoulder, a black helmet with orange armor making up the sides and bottom with fangs growing from the lower jaw, elongated curving purple eyes with a purple horn growing between them, and another red tentacular horn growing from silver armor on the left side of his head. A tattered red cape hung down to the ground.
SCRAMBLE! OCTOPUS! BLACK RHINO! SCOLOPENDRIDAE! KAMEN RIDER DAIMON! DAIMON! DAIMON!
George cackled with glee as Georgina and Chic applauded. "Yes! It worked! You look AMAZING!"
"Wait, hang on, why are you Kamen Rider Daimon?" The confused Vice asked. "Shouldn't he be Chimera?"
"No, Kamen Rider Chimera is what you get if you use the Chimera Driver in conjunction with the Twin Chimera Vistamp, Azuma used the Tri Chimera Vistamp," George explained.
"Oh." Vice scratched his head. "Wait, then why doesn't he actually look like a chimera? Shouldn't his motif be lion, goat, snake, instead of octopus, Black rhino, and giant centipede? That makes no sense!"
"That's what I said!" Chic complained. "And the motif for the ACTUAL Chimera is king crab and crocodile!"
"Really? That's weird," Vice commented.
"Nobody asked you!" George snapped.
"Azuma, how do you feel?" Giff asked.
"I feel… Well, my Lord," Azuma said after a moment, examining his current form. "No… That's an understatement. I don't believe I've ever felt this strong, even at my peak. Is this what it is to be a Kamen Rider?"
"Yes… Yes… GODDAMN!" George cheered in elation, checking his computer. "All systems are in the green! Everything is operating at 300% capacity with no adverse effects! Gentlemen, I think this experiment was a success!"
"Excellent," Giff said. "Which means you will begin production of my Vistamps at once?"
George waved dismissively at him without taking his eyes off the screen. "Yeah, sure, I'll get right on it, they'll be ready by the half-moon. Now go! I have SCIENCE to do!"
"So, uh, this exorcism thing," Vice asked after he'd led Giff and Azuma out of the secret base. "Do you think you'll need us to help?"
"… I don't think so, no," Giff said after a moment's thought. "However, I know your brother can't resist sticking his nose in where it's not warranted, so… If any of you do show up, I won't turn you away. I would honestly be surprised if the Ark didn't try to spring something on us, we are trying to free its most reliable servant from its grasp after all."
Vice nodded seriously. "Yeah, that sounds like something it would do."
"With George working on the Vistamps and Hiden Intelligence constructing the ritual site, do we have everything we need for the ceremony?" Azuma asked his master.
Giff shook his head. "Almost, but not quite. There's one more thing we need…"
He took out his phone and dialed a number.
"Hello?"
"Ampaz! This is Giff," Giff told the Pythonian. "Are you busy right now?"
"I'm in the middle of a tournament, but I have a minute before my next match. What's up?"
"I require the assistance of a priest of Ouroboros for an important ceremony," Giff explained. "Do you happen to know any I could get in touch with?"
"… Are you seriously asking me if I happen to be on first name basis with a priest of Ouroboros just because I'm Pythonian?" Ampaz asked with a hint of annoyance.
"Well, yes. Your people are deeply religious, have a strong personal spiritual connection with your deity, and your clergy are very important members of Pythonian communities, which tend to be very close-knit," Giff pointed out.
"…Eh, fair," Ampaz conceded. "Okay, I do know someone…"