Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. The Pythonians are the property of Spidey Viewer, as is Aereuslitha.
The Pythonian quarter, Azuma found, was unlike anywhere else in the city.
Much like the parts of Tokyo largely inhabited by zyumans, this district was full of animal people, the architecture very bright and colorful, full of sights and sounds and smells literally not of this world.
That was, however, where the similarities ended. While zyuman architecture tended to be made of cubes, cubes, and more cubes, Pythonian buildings for the most part lacked straight lines, corners, and edges, the majority of them rounded, twisted, or even coiled like the snakes their builders resembled. Many of them even had "scales" covered in ornamentation in a riot of colors, with windows blending right in. Other buildings looked like clusters of eggs held together by serpentine coils, no two "eggs" the same size, shape, or even color. Murals and mosaics of Pythonian heroes, celebrities, and deities were everywhere, with several pedestrians gathered to watch as very talented youths with spray cans tagged a formerly blank wall, applauding as a new masterpiece began to take shape.
That was another way in which the Pythonian quarter differed from zyumans, its inhabitants. While zyumans resembled multiple earth mammals, reptiles, birds, and fish – but no insects, as far as he knew – all the Pythonians were serpentine. They also wore much looser clothing, with many seeming happy to flash as much of their scaly flesh as possible, and some even forgoing clothing altogether. There was a lot more casual physical contact as well, with serpents constantly touching each other or rubbing against each other or engaging in very public displays of affection which, had they been humans, would have earned them disapproving and uncomfortable looks. The Pythonians, however seemed perfectly at ease with such displays. Some even joined in.
The colors of their scales also came in a staggering amount of varieties, which, if Azuma recalled right, usually designated their job and position in society. He wasn't familiar enough with Pythonian culture to tell at a glance what most of those colors signified, something he would have to remind himself to look into later.
And speaking of looking… Quite a lot of people were staring at him and Giff as they walked down the winding streets of the quarter, which wriggled and twisted between the buildings and had pavement resembling scales with glittering pieces of glass embedded in the stones. "My Lord…" He murmured, his assassin's instincts feeling very uncomfortable with being the center of attention. "We seem to be drawing an awful amount of attention."
"Well, that's to be expected, Azuma," Giff said dismissively. "We aren't Pythonian, so naturally we would stand out more."
Azuma stared at his master, who was wearing a nun's habit, tacky shades, the Star of David, a giant orange on his head, and had a bindi painted on his forehead. He was also waving a gohei around, and utterly oblivious as to how none of these accessories belonged together. "I'm not certain that's why," he said carefully. "Remind me, my Lord, why you chose to dress up as a nun?"
"Well, we're visiting a religious authority, and I don't want to overuse my Father Giffrey disguise lest people start to draw a connection between it and myself," he explained. "Hence why I am now Sister Giffrey! Nobody will ever suspect it's really the great demon king Giff beneath this cunning disguise!"
"… And you don't think any of them will think it's just the great demon king Giff wearing a nun's habit, among other things?" Azuma asked slowly.
Giff laughed. "Ah, Azuma, but that's the beauty of it! People will look at me and think, 'Hold on, is that the great demon king Giff wearing a nun's habit among other things? No, of course not, there's no way the great demon king Giff would ever walk around dressed like a nun, it's beneath him and is so obviously him that it can't be him, so this must be someone totally unrelated who just so happens to bear a striking resemblance to him!' It's foolproof!"
"… That's… One interpretation," Azuma said hesitantly.
"The correct one!" Giff said confidently. "Oh, and look, we're here!"
They had arrived at a large plaza, the ground of which was a beautiful mosaic of a serpent biting its own tail, encircling androgynous Pythonians of every color, holding hands and intertwining tails around a star map highlighting every Pythonian colony in the galaxy with glittering jewels representing the stars, a particularly large one for Earth's sun and the biggest of all for the home world. Statues of stone and metal and glass of Pythonian luminaries littered the Plaza, the largest of which was an incredibly beautiful woman, her scales several shades of gold, her eyes both silver and gold, her face an expression of both love and affection, and also a fierce look of determination to care for and protect her followers. It was wearing a dress, shoes, and fingerless elbow-length gloves of silver with various ancient golden patterns that, when examined closely, contained sigils and words in Pythonian script.
"Is that Ouroboros?" Azuma guessed.
"In her anthropomorphized form, yes," Giff confirmed. "Usually she's much bigger and much more… Snakelike," he said, gesturing at the serpent encircling the Plaza.
"Have you ever met her?"
Giff considered this. "I don't think so," he said finally. "I'm fairly certain I've encountered the Pythonians a few times over the eons, but as for their goddess… If I did, I've forgotten. I've lived a very long time, Azuma. Some memories stick better than others."
Azuma could relate. There were times he had difficulty remembering parts of the last 3000 years, especially the time before becoming Giff's disciple. He could no longer remember the face of his father, the smell of his lover, the names of his children…
Had he even had children? It was so very long ago he could no longer be sure.
Even so… "I would think encountering a giant snake goddess would be fairly memorable, my Lord."
Giff chuckled. "You'd be surprised how many giant snake goddesses there are out there, Azuma."
Azuma looked across the Plaza to their destination, a building which towered above all the others. Two serpents, one of gold and one of silver, were intertwined, coiling around each other before finally terminating in a pair of heads placed jaw to jaw pointing skyward, their hoods flared out behind them. The structure was slowly revolving on a clockwork base, the reflection from the stained-glass mirrors set in the backs of the serpent's hoods gradually moving across the Plaza, causing the embedded jewels in the ground to sparkle as it passed over them, and causing each statue to glow with an inner light whenever the light touched them. The scales of the two serpents were exquisitely inscribed with frescoes depicting the history and mythology of Pythonian civilization, and the clockwork base was dotted with statues of Pythonian Angels and demigods.
"So that's the temple of Ouroboros?" He asked.
"It is indeed. Come, we have an appointment to keep," Giff said, starting across the Plaza.
Azuma began to follow him…
And hesitated. Something didn't feel right.
"My Lord, I think we are being watched."
"Well of course we are, as you already pointed out, we've been drawing a lot of attention-" Giff started.
"No, my Lord, those are just people looking at us, we are being watched, which is totally different," Azuma emphasized.
Giff was silent for a moment, and then inclined his head slightly. "Ah. Good, I was wondering when you would notice."
Azuma blinked. "My Lord?"
"I noticed them the minute we entered the Plaza. We are not the only supernatural beings present here," Giff informed him.
Azuma cursed himself. He'd gotten rusty after being out of the game for roughly 80 years, even a few decades ago he would've noticed something like that right off the bat!
"Can you identify our observers?" Giff asked, not turning his focus away from the temple.
Azuma's eyes briefly darted across the Plaza. None of the Pythonians seemed like a threat, they were regarding them with curiosity and puzzlement rather than hostility, as did most of the human visitors touring the quarter and no doubt looking to partake in the variety of pleasures the serpentine aliens offered. As a pleasure-oriented species, Pythonian pleasure dens were infinitely more luxurious than anywhere else on Earth, with (perfectly harmless) drugs, wine, food, and the pleasures of the flesh far outstripping anything ever produced by humans, save possibly for Astarte's kingdom at the height of her power, so understandably were a very popular place to visit for both locals and tourists.
However…
"There's two of them," he realized. "A man, or something pretending to be a man, seated at an outdoor table at that cozy little café next to that statue of two Pythonians making love. The other is an unusually beautiful woman sitting on a bench reading a book next to that old Pythonian feeding the pigeons – I'm sorry, feeding on the pigeons."
"Very good. What else?" Giff asked.
"… They aren't just looking at us, but at each other," Azuma continued his assessment. "And when they aren't looking at us or at each other, they're looking at the temple. They're both seated on opposite sides of the Plaza, close but not too close to the temple, exactly equidistant from it and each other. Which leads me to believe that whoever they are, they aren't with each other, and… They aren't here for us, but for something in the temple, and are trying to figure out whether or not our presence will disrupt whatever plans they might have."
"Very good," Giff said in approval. "Can you tell what sort of beings they are?"
"I… Cannot," Azuma said regretfully. "I'm sorry, my Lord."
"Do not apologize, their disguises are very good, almost as good as mine," Giff said, and Azuma had to bite his tongue to keep from saying anything. "The man is a demon – not one of mine, a local – and the other I believe is an angel."
"Angels exist?" Azuma asked in surprise.
"I think you'll find, my disciple, that there is very little in this universe that doesn't exist, you just need to look in the right places," Giff said sagely. "I think it is safe to assume that they aren't friends, the stereotypical angel/demon animosity aside. I don't believe this has any impact on our mission here, but…"
"We should keep an eye on them, just to be safe," Azuma finished.
Giff nodded. "Just so."
Azuma fingered the Chimera Driver, hidden in a pocket, as he eyed the two mysterious beings without making it obvious that he had noticed them. He wondered if he would be field testing it sooner than he had expected…
"Thank you for seeing us on such short notice, High Priestess."
"But of course. Ampaz asked for an audience, and I've never been able to turn my oldest and dearest friend down."
The gorgeous Pythonian on the other side of the desk from them smiled, and it was so beautiful Azuma couldn't help feeling like his tainted soul was being bathed in holy light. She had bronze scales, which – based on the fact that pretty much every other Pythonian in the temple also had scales of a similar hue – he took to mean she had been destined for the clergy from birth, and it certainly suited her. She was wearing a bronze robe with bright shining scaled patches on the shoulders, along the arms, and making up the trimming. The sleeves were flared and snake eyes made up the robe flaps with a beige sash holding the robe together at the waist. She had beige boots with heels, tan colored silk fingerless gloves with holy sigils on the forehands and palms, and a necklace with bronze jewels with Pythonian words inscribed on it.
Her office was as majestic as you would expect the High Priestess of the temple to be. It was situated high up in the tower, with most of the back wall being taken up by a big round window making up one of the "eyes" of the two intertwined serpents, affording them a view of what had to be the entire Pythonian quarter, and from this angle Azuma could see that the roofs of all the buildings were painted to form a giant mural depicting Ouroboros wrapped around a beautiful planet which could only be the Pythonian homeworld. The chamber was brightly lit with a vaulted ceiling supported by pillars made of serpents coiled around each other. Holographic paintings of other bronze Pythonians who Azuma guessed were also famous or very important members of the clergy hung from the walls, in between shelves filled with books, trinkets, statuettes, crystals, and even a few (hopefully ceremonial) weapons. The floor was covered in soft carpeting layered to look like scales, and the three of them were seated in incredibly comfortable cushions on either side of a desk which looked like a giant golden scale, and he couldn't help wondering if it were an actual scale from Ouroboros herself.
"So," Aeruslitha said warmly. "How can I help you?"
"Recently, you attempted to exorcise a HumaGear named Azu at the behest of the Hidens and failed, yes?" Giff asked.
Aeruslitha's face fell. "That poor woman… I did everything I could, but it just wasn't enough. I'm certain Archbishop Cora, the highest authority of our religion and the voice of Ouroboros herself, could handle it, but… She is on the homeworld, and by the time she got here it would be far too late."
"The Hidens have asked me to attempt to exorcise Azu, and I believe I may have found a method that will actually work," Giff informed her.
Aeruslitha's eyes lit up at this. "Truly?! I had almost lost hope… Is there any way I can help?"
"There is, which is why we have come here," Giff explained. "I have crafted a ritual which I believe will be able to save Azu from the Ark, but I require a priest of Ouroboros to complete it. I believe you will be more than sufficient."
Aeruslitha frowned, uncertain. "Are you sure I'm the right person for this? After all, I failed before. I promised Azu I would save her, but I… I could not."
"There is no shame in your failing before. This is a very complex exorcism, and you alone would never have been able to pull it off," Giff assured her. "However, with the new ritual I've conceived, and your assistance, we have a very good chance of saving her this time."
Aeruslitha nodded, resolute. "Very well. If it means I can have a second chance at saving that lost soul, I will do anything I can to help. The full resources of my temple are at your disposal."
"Excellent," Giff replied, pleased. "And while we're on the subject of your temple… Are you aware of the supernatural entities outside, and the demonic presence within the building?"
Both Azuma and Aeruslitha looked at Giff in surprise. "You detected… Oh, yes, I suppose if anyone would've noticed, it would've been you," Aeruslitha murmured.
"There's a demon here?" Azuma asked in surprise. "But I thought this was a holy place!"
"I'm a demon and I'm here," Giff pointed out.
"Well, yes, but you're not that kind of demon, and you were invited in," Azuma pointed out.
"The situation is… Complicated," Aeruslitha said. "And one which I as of yet see no solution to. Unless… Perhaps…" She looked hopefully at Giff.
Giff considered. "Is this a condition for your assistance with Azu?"
"What? No, of course not!" Aeruslitha protested. "I would never… Of course I will still help you, no matter what your answer, but… I'm out of options, and I'm desperate, and-"
"Tell me the details, and I will decide for myself," Giff told her.
A look of naked relief on her face, Aeruslitha placed her hand on the desk, which glowed faintly. "Eden? Please report to my office, there's someone who would like to meet you."
The desk pulsed once, then stopped glowing.
"She'll be with us momentarily," Aeruslitha assured them. She fingered her robe, looking somewhat awkward. "Um. When you spoke to Ampaz about me, did she… Say anything?"
"Like what?" Giff asked, perplexed.
"Like… About me…" Aeruslitha said vaguely. When they both gave her blank looks, she quickly changed the subject. "Or… She has a boyfriend now, right? How, how's that going?"
"Ampaz and Tamaki seem to make a very good match for each other," Azuma said. "They're currently at a tournament for their favorite card game. Given their level of skill, I would be very surprised if they didn't make it to the finals."
"Oh. That's… That's great," Aeruslitha said, trying not to look to disheartened by this information. "Of course I'm happy that my oldest and dearest childhood friend has found someone to love, especially after how her previous relationship ended. This, uh, this Tamaki, he seems like more than a… Rebound to you?"
"Very much so," Giff told her. "I have every confidence that they will soon become a mated pair and produce offspring ideal to serve as servants for my family."
"Oh," Aeruslitha said faintly. "That's… Great. I'm happy for her."
Something told Azuma she was not being entirely honest.
There was a knock on the door and a very brief look of relief flickered across Aeruslitha's face. "Oh, there she is. Come in, Eden, I would like you to meet someone."
The door slid open and a serpentine figure entered the room… However, it very clearly was not Pythonian. She – for her curvaceous figure and sizable non-mammalian mammaries indicated she could be nothing other than female – appeared to be a demonic lamia with a cobra hood. Her coloration started off red and black with jagged-edged scales, but roughly around her midriff began transitioning to a pearlescent white and gold down to her tail, with large wings that started off looking like a bat's but transitioned to white feathers at the bottom. Smaller white wings ran down her back and tail. Her arms were black and red to her elbows, transitioning to white from that point onward to her fingers, with gold nails. Her scales had words etched into them, angry harsh red characters on her dark scales and graceful golden ones on her light scales. The design on the back of her hood looked like a tree. She had three eyes, two red and one blue, and a pair of golden manacles on her wrists and a similar collar around her neck, all with more of that graceful script carved into them.
She looked anxiously at Giff and Azuma, who were regarding her with surprise, curiosity, and – in Giff's case – slight hunger. "H-Hello. My name is Eden. Who are you?"
Giff rose from his seat and gracefully bowed to the Lamia, Azuma doing the same. "I am the demon king Giff, and this is my servant, Azuma."
"Greetings," Azuma said.
"We came here to ask your host for help on a certain matter, and noticed a pair of rather remarkable individuals seemed to be waiting for you outside. Are you in some sort of trouble?" Giff inquired.
Eden glanced nervously at Aeruslitha, who nodded. Swallowing, Eden nodded hesitantly. "I… Yes, I am, but I'm not sure there's anything you or anyone else can do to help."
"In my experience, nothing is impossible. What is the situation?" Giff asked.
Eden wrung her hands together nervously, glancing out the big window at the Plaza below, spotting the woman seated at the bench. The woman glanced up at that very moment, and they seemed to lock eyes. Seeming to draw strength from this, Eden began to speak.
"So, like I said, my name is Eden, and as I'm sure is obvious, I'm a demon. Not like an inner demon or space demon, but a demon demon, from Hell. I'm descended from the serpent who tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden, hence my name. I specialize in knowledge, particularly forbidden knowledge, and for millennia I've been summoned for information about the occult and the greater cosmos… For a price, of course."
"Of course," Giff said reasonably.
"But, some time ago, I was summoned by a warlock who managed to exploit a loophole to not only keep me from leaving so he could continue to gain information from me, but… Other things." She trembled, a haunted look in her eyes. "I have lived in Hell all my life, and thought I knew everything about torture and depravity. But… The things that creature did to me… They were truly beyond the pale."
Azuma nodded sympathetically. "Indeed, humans are often the real demons."
"I spent… Far, far too long bound to that monster's will," Eden whimpered, hugging herself. "But then, one day, my angel saved me."
She glanced at them. "I mean that literally, incidentally. I was saved by an actual angel."
"And would that happen to be the one down below?" Azuma intuited.
Eden nodded, a dreamy look on her face. "I assumed she was going to smite me as she did that abomination. After all, our kind have been at war with each other for eternity. But instead she… She healed me. She quite literally saved my soul. She helped me put myself back together, mended me in body and mind, and made me realize I didn't know quite as much about angels as I thought I did. And I… I fell in love. How could I not?"
"Except love between your kinds is forbidden," Azuma postulated.
"Actually, you're only half right," Eden said happily. "Angels are far more forgiving and benign towards my kind then I had always been led to believe. My angel's family and friends welcomed me with open arms upon realizing my feelings for her are true, and that I really wish to atone for all the evil I have done in my life. To become an angel myself, or the very least an ascended demon. As you can see, the process has already begun," she said, indicating her lower body, which did indeed look rather more angelic than her upper half.
"Were your fellow demons as understanding?" Giff asked.
Eden flinched. "Not… So much, no. I knew it would only be a matter of time before they found out what I was up to – there's only so much a glamour can do to cover up the transformation I've been undergoing – so with help from my friend Lilim – she's my angel's sister, she Fell during the war and is in deep denial that she made a bad decision and has convinced herself that she doesn't want to go home to her loving family and that it's okay for her partner to horribly abuse her because they're demons and it's supposed to be like that, and – sorry, it's a whole thing, you don't need to know the details. Anyway, once it became clear I couldn't stay in Hell any longer, Lilim helped me escape to the mortal realm. I was supposed to meet with my angel so she could ferry me to Heaven, but somehow word got out about our relationship and I got attacked by a powerful demon sent to drag me back to Hell to punish me horrifically for my treachery. I was unable to make the rendezvous and forced to flee for my life, and by chance I found myself here in the Pythonian quarter, where I was able to beg for sanctuary at the temple. My pursuer cannot enter because it's sacred ground, so I've been safe ever since… But I am also trapped, since he's waiting for me, and the minute I step outside he'll swoop in and take me away to face judgment for my alleged crimes."
"If it's sacred ground, how are you able to be here?" Azuma inquired.
Eden smiled, tapping her manacles and collar. "These are angel shackles. They allow me to enter holy places and be in the presence of divine beings without being harmed, as well as allow my angel to find me anywhere in the multiverse and even control me if need be."
"Control you?" Azuma asked in dismay.
"I gave her my True Name as a sign of my devotion, loyalty, and love to her, and proof of how willing I am to atone for my past sins," Eden explained. "I know that she will never use it, and she knows she will never need to use it. It is a symbol of our trust in each other."
"And very romantic," Aeruslitha said wistfully.
"Which explains why your angel is outside…" Giff murmured. "But why has she not come in to retrieve you? Why had she not slain the demon hunting you?"
Eden's face fell. "That's where it gets complicated."
"Eden's lover cannot set foot in the temple because the Vatican has yet to officially rule one way or the other in regards to all the new religions that have sprung up on Earth over the last few years," Aeruslitha explained, looking frustrated. "Until a decision has been made, she is unable to enter… And even if a decision is made, there's no guarantee it will be in our favor."
Azuma scowled. "Once again, the Catholic Church is ruining everything."
"What if you granted her sanctuary?" Giff asked.
"That only works if there's actually something she's running from," Aeruslitha told him regretfully. "But from what Eden has told me, her superiors and family approve of their union. And that still wouldn't solve the problem because Eden would still be trapped here in the temple until something is done about her demonic hunter."
"Why not just kill him?" Azuma asked, pointing out the obvious solution.
Eden sighed. "Again, it's not so simple. While my angel is very powerful… So is my pursuer. I have every confidence my angel could beat him in a straight up fight… The problem is we're in the middle of a populated center, and unlike my angel, the hunter has no problem with collateral damage."
"… I see. So she dares not provoke him, fearing for the lives of innocent Pythonians, which he is fully aware of," Azuma realized.
Eden nodded frightfully. "And if I should leave the protection of the temple to try and get to my angel, that would incite the hunter to act, forcing a fight between them, and even if my angel were to win… I… I don't want to be the cause of any more suffering. That's not the sort of person I am anymore."
"I see. And I assume your priests are hesitant to act for a similar reason?" Giff asked Aeruslitha.
She grimaced. "We are not equipped to repel a demon of his power. We might be able to banish him, especially with help from the angel, but…"
"Again, too much risk of collateral," Giff intuited.
Aeruslitha spread her hands helplessly. "I know it must seem cowardly, but…"
"There is nothing cowardly about wishing to protect members of your flock," Azuma assured her. "And I assume there are no secret passages you could use to spirit Eden away?"
Aeruslitha shook her head. "There are not."
"And even if there were, we'd still have the same problem," Eden pointed out. "He has my scent, and could find me anywhere, just like my angel. Both of them would appear as soon as I left the temple, through any entrance, which, again, would lead to a battle."
Giff contemplated this. "… Eden. You said your angel's family is fond of you?"
Eden nodded rapidly. "Oh yes, very much so! Her mother treats me better than my own mother ever did, her little sister adores me, and I… I have every intention of marrying my angel once I have finished my ascension, so…"
"So they will be your family as well," Giff finished.
She nodded. "Yes. I want to see them again, Lord Giff. I just… I want to be with my family."
"… As do we all," Giff murmured, glancing in the direction of the Happy Spa. "Very well. Your plight has touched my heart, Eden. I shall assist you."
Eden's face lit up in joy and Aeruslitha sighed in relief. "You will?!"
"I will. And I believe I have just the way to do so…"
Azuma hid a smile of approval as his master began to outline his plan. Yukimi was right. He was changing, and not for the worse.
He looked forward to seeing how else he would change in the future.
"Is this seat taken?"
The almost supernaturally plain, ordinary, and forgettable looking man frowned as his unobstructed view of the beautiful woman sitting on the bench directly across the plaza from him was blocked by the rather jarring presence of Giff in his nun's habit and other accoutrements. "It's not, but-"
"Excellent! I hope you don't mind if I take a seat, then?" Giff asked, grabbing a chair from a nearby table and sitting down right in front of the man, still blocking his view of the beautiful woman.
The man narrowed his eyes very slightly. "I do, as a matter of fact-"
"Menial! I'd like some coffee, please!" Giff yelled, flagging down a human waiter wearing a facemask. "Would you like some as well?"
"Not as such-"
"He'd like coffee as well," Giff shouted over him. The waiter nodded and headed towards the café to get their drinks.
The man frowned. "Can I help you?"
"As a matter fact, you can," Giff told him happily. "My name is Sister Giffrey, and I'm currently collecting donations for-"
"You can drop the act, I know who you are, Giff," the man snapped, finally losing his temper.
Giffrey regarded him for a moment, then nodded slowly. "So you saw through my disguise… I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. A demon of your age and power would surely have been able to detect what I really am behind my cunning ruse."
"Cunning – you call that a disguise?! An idiot child could tell what you really are!" The man shouted incredulously.
Giff chuckled and shook his head. "Your words have no effect on me, demon. I have been warned of your deceit and cruelty. I can see right through your paltry lies!"
"They aren't-"
"Your coffee, Sirs?"
"Oh, thank you, menial," Giff said pleasantly at the waiter, who had returned with two steaming mugs. "He'll be paying."
"But I didn't even order-"
"Very good, sir, I'll add it to your bill," the waiter told the man before primly turning around and walking off, leaving the man gawking in disbelief.
Giff immediately took a sip and sighed pleasantly. "That's a good cuppa. Rather dry out today, isn't it? It's important to stay hydrated!" He took another sip. "You should have some of yours before it goes cold."
The man did not touch his mug. Instead, teeth clenched, he asked, "What. Do. You. Want."
Giff nodded respectfully and took another sip. "Straight to the point? I admire that. All right, here's what's going to happen. In a few minutes, the demon Eden is going to leave the temple behind me. She will go to her angel lover. They will depart for Heaven. And you will do nothing to stop them. Do you understand?"
The man stared him for a minute. "Are you… Are you serious?! Why the Heaven would I do something like that?!"
"Because if you don't, I will kill and eat you," Giff said plainly, taking another sip. "I feast on the malevolent energy within living things. While you are not my usual prey, you are still quite full of that energy, and you smell intoxicating. My appetite shall be sated for quite some time if I devour you."
The man stared at him again, then burst into laughter. "And you expect me to just allow this to happen? First of all, I can't just go back home empty-handed. If I do, then I will suffer the same fate which Eden has waiting for her. Second, do you really think I will go down without a fight?"
"I'll beat you," Giff said calmly, taking another sip. "I am older and stronger than you can possibly imagine."
"Perhaps so," the man said, though he didn't sound like he believed it. "But if you do, then I will make sure every snake in this city perishes along with me."
Giff took another sip. "So?"
The man blinked. "What do you mean, 'so?'"
"I'm not a hero," Giff said, taking another sip. "I don't care if a few hundred Pythonians die. Or have you forgotten that I am trying to dominate this world myself? I would think my reputation and my actions since my revival have shown that I don't particularly care about collateral damage when it comes to achieving my goals."
The man frowned. "And yet you are willing to help a single demon."
"My reasons are my own," Giff said, taking another sip. "And none of your concern. Simply know that if you interfere in the reunion of Eden and her lover, I will not hesitate to kill you and any other demon you call upon for aid, and I don't care how many people get hurt in the process."
The man narrowed his eyes. "You're bluffing."
"Am I?" Giff asked, taking another sip. "Is that a risk you're really willing to take?"
"You would really make an enemy out of all of Hell?" The man demanded. "For one traitorous demon? Do you know the things she's done? Do you really believe she deserves a happy ending?"
"I'm certain I've done worse," Giff said with a casual shrug, taking another sip. "And I've started wars for far less. Won them too."
He paused, examining his mug. "Oh dear, I seem to be almost out. I'd better call that menial back. Hey, you haven't touched your own coffee yet. You should drink it, all this talking has certainly gotten me thirsty, I can't imagine how parched you must feel."
The man stared at him for a minute. "You must really think I'm a moron," he snarled.
Giff frowned. "I'm sorry?"
"Did you really think I wouldn't notice?" The man said, voice dripping with contempt. "This café doesn't have human employees, so obviously the waiter is an accomplice of yours, no doubt the servant you came here with, which is probably why you had him wear a face mask in hopes I wouldn't recognize him. Which didn't work, incidentally, I spotted him right away.
"Your frequent drinks of coffee and occasional comments on how thirsty you are and how I must be were clearly clumsy attempts to psychologically manipulate me into drinking whatever your servant put in my mug, which, if I'm not mistaken…"
He picked up the mug, sniffed it, then immediately hurled it as far away as he could, shattering it against a nearby statue, much to the alarm of several Pythonians. "Is holy water, which as you well know is anathema to a demon like myself."
He folded his arms across his chest and shot Giff a smug, sinister leer. "I would say that was a nice try if it weren't so pathetically obvious and amateurish. A demon of my caliber and experience would never be taken out by such a paltry assassination attempt. I expected better of you, 'demon king.'"
Giff stared at him for a minute, and then started applauding, to the man's surprise. "Well done! You saw right through my scheme!"
He lowered his hands and, to the man's puzzlement, grinned. "There is, however, one thing you have failed to anticipate."
The man frowned. "What?"
Giff promptly threw the remaining contents of his coffee mug in the man's face. He cried out in surprise as the scalding hot liquid splashed into his face. Enraged, he rose to his feet…
And hesitated as the pain from the coffee rose exponentially. Wait… This wasn't right, coffee didn't burn this much, enough to hurt him-
And that's when his face burst into flames. Screaming, he staggered back, knocking over his chair and falling to the floor, howling in anguish as he clutched at his burning face, the nearby Pythonians screaming in horror and moving out of the way. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
"You see, both of our mugs contained holy water," Giff said calmly, rising to his feet and folding his arms behind his back. "I got the idea from a movie I saw recently. What was it again? The Prince Husband?"
"The Princess Bride, my Lord," Azuma corrected him, taking off his mask.
"Right, that one."
"But… But you drank the coffee too!" The man cried as he clawed at his face, flesh starting to melt off of his skull like in that other movie Giff had seen recently, the one with a terrible archaeologist with a hat and whip trying to recover a magic ark in a grand adventure which ultimately amounted to nothing because the villains were destroyed by the power of the same relic they were attempting to harness and it wound up abandoned in some warehouse anyway so he really should have just left well enough alone.
"Yes, but I'm not that kind of demon, holy water has no effect on me," Giff said smugly as he approached the man, crouching down to his level. "Now, I will tell you again. You are going to leave this plane at once, or I will eat you."
"Never!" The man shouted.
"Very well."
Giff ripped the man's hands from his melting face and slammed his stamp into his eye.
The man screamed even louder now, his voice degenerating into the frenzied cry of an animal driven mindless by agony, the tortured howling of the damned reverberating with his shrieking, echoing all across the plaza and drawing the attention of everyone in it.
Across the way, the beautiful woman on the bench rose in astonishment as the old serpent beside her continued obliviously eating pigeons, only to be distracted by Eden poking her head out of the temple doors. Their eyes met, and an expression of utter joy lit up both of their faces.
The man's body was consumed in a burst of flame, his human guise disintegrating to reveal the true monster beneath. He resembled the Beelzebub Phantom but with more horns and eyes, the wings and tail of Asmodeus, the legs of the Legion Phantom, the robe of the Satan Minusaur, and the arms of Azazel. His body convulsed in agony, energy crackling around his form and converging on the stamp, which glowed ominously as power flowed through it and into Giff's body, the demon king moaning in ecstasy as he began to consume the demon's life force.
The demon began to calcifiy, starting from the tips of his extremities and working their way up his body, his tail and wings starting to crumble first, with his hands and feet starting to go as well, his whole body beginning to turn gray. "Wait… WAIT! I yield! I YIELD!"
Giff did not relent.
"You… Did you hear me, bless you?! I yield!" The demon shouted in desperation as his right leg and left hand began dissolving.
"I heard you," Giff said calmly. "But how do I know you will keep your word? Are you willing to sign a contract?"
The demon hesitated. He clenched his teeth, fiery tears running down his cheek from his remaining eyes. When his horns began disintegrating, he finally shouted, "Fine! FINE! I'll sign whatever you want! Just make it stop!"
Giff withdrew the stamp, and the demon collapsed onto his remaining limbs, shuddering, gasping, and heaving for breath. He vomited a tremendous amount of lava, which melted into the ground before him and barely missed Giff's toes. Unbothered by this, Giff generated a contract and held out his stamp. "Stamp this on the bottom, please."
The demon glared up at him hatefully, the right side of his face covered by a brand from where Giff had driven his stamp into his eye. The demon glanced to the contract, reading it quickly – despite his torment, he still knew better than to sign anything without reading the fine print – and reluctantly stamped the bottom.
"Thank you," Giff said, retrieving his stamp, dissipating the contract with a wave of his hand. "A pleasure doing business with you."
The demon snarled, though most of his bite was gone due to his clear exhaustion and pain. "This… Is not over," he hissed. "You have made a powerful enemy this day, Giff. I may now be forbidden from coming after Eden, you, your family, your subordinates and followers… But others will not be so restrained. The legions of hell will come baying for your head. You have begun a war beyond your imagining."
"Good, send your hosts, as many as you like," Giff remarked dismissively. "I could use a good meal."
The demon spat at him, growled, and vanished in a burst of flame.
There was a moment's silence, and then, to Giff's surprise, everyone in the plaza started cheering. "What? What is happening?" He asked, startled.
"They're cheering, my Lord," Azuma said happily. "For you."
"For… Me?" Giff whispered, astonished. "But… Nobody has cheered for me like this in… In a very long time…"
"For what you've done today, you more than deserve the adulation of the masses," Azuma told him warmly. "I am proud of you, my Lord."
As Giff marveled at this, a familiar voice shouted, "Lord Giff! Thank you! Thank you so much!"
Giff and Azuma turned to see Eden approaching, clinging to the arm of the beautiful woman from the bench. As she drew near, the woman seemed to expand in a burst of light and white feathers, transforming into a literally angelic beauty. She wore a white gown down to her ankles, exposing her sandaled feet. Her supple bronze skin was covered with a surprising number of scars. Her toned body was fit, but not overly buff. She wore a gilded breastplate over her gown shaped for her rather impressive assets, with gold bracers and anklets. Six beautiful white wings grew from her back and on her face she wore an eyeless gold mask shaped like a lion's face with her full, luscious red lips visible in the jaws. She wore her vibrant red hair in a high ponytail past her knees and carried a lance in one hand and a tome in the other.
"Greetings, Lord Giff, Sir Azuma," the angel said, her voice so beautiful it made quite a few sigh in bliss. "Thank you very much for returning my heart to me."
"Lord Giff, this is Serafina," Eden said excitedly, unable to take her eyes off her lover for even an instant, an utterly besotted look on her face. "My angel, my light, my lady and mistress in all things."
"And one day, perhaps, you will call me something else as well," Serafina said fondly, causing Eden to moan in delight. More than a few Pythonians looked at the couple jealously, and it wasn't clear which of them they were the more envious of.
"I am happy to have given this story a happy ending," Giff said humbly. "I have recently begun to recognize the value of family myself, so understand the importance of helping to bring one together. I hope that you and yours shall live long happy lives together."
"Oh, we will! We absolutely will!" Eden promised. "And… We won't forget this. What you've done for us today…"
"You have done a great service to Heaven, and to my family," Serafina agreed. "You have also made an enemy in Astaroth… But a friend in us. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"
Giff considered this. "Well… As it just so happens, I am currently in the process of trying to save another lost soul. I don't suppose you would be willing to help?"
The couple exchanged glances, then gave Giff their full attention. "We're listening."
As Giff began to explain Azu's plight to the duo, Azuma smiled again. Yes, his lord truly was changing…
And he couldn't wait to see the sort of person he was going to become.