The big day had finally arrived. Louise was finally coming home. To say she was ecstatic was an understatement. Unfortunately, the last chemo she had received before release was particularly challenging and she was unable to really enjoy the moment. At least her reaction was not severe. The day before a boy down the hall ended up being kept an extra day to an extremely bad reaction to his treatment. No, she just felt like shit and despite having been in bed all day. Could barely keep her eyes open. The last thing she remembered was Bob and a nurse lifting her into her wheelchair. Technically the nurse was supposed to do it, but because she was a wheelchair user now. Her family had to learn how to transfer her to and from the chair. She was also an oxygen user and likely would be the rest of her life. So, they had to learn how to manage the tubes and tank as well. Then there was the feeding tube. Another thing the family had to learn to manage. A giant box of supplies was waiting at the apartment. Where the new TV should have been.
"Are you ready to go home?" Bob asked.
"Yes" Louise said weakly.
Louise bless her heart was asleep before they were even out of the room. It was killing Bob to see his once vibrant child so fragile. Just weeks ago, she seemed to have infinite energy. Now even simple tasks wore her out. He walked beside the nurse who was wheeling Louise out to the waiting car. The nurse watched closely as he transferred her along with her accessories from the chair to the car. How he wished the wheelchair was just mandatory hospital practice. While in this moment that was the case. Louise was too weak to walk even short distances. They were hopeful she would get walking again once the cancer was gone but it all depended on what her tumors did. The one on her chest wouldn't have to grow much to paralyze her and there was a spot on her brain that if it turned out to be cancer would have horrific consequences. At least the wheelchair concern was solved. Like her father Mike. Tina's friend Susmita was born with one leg longer than the other. Unlike her father who despite a noticeable limp. Was able to maintain a normal life with the condition. Susmita's case was far more severe, and she ended up requiring surgery a few years ago. She ended up in a wheelchair for over a year and her parents ended up opting to just buy one rather than rent indefinitely. Since they couldn't resell it. They gladly offered it to the Belcher's for as long as Louise needed.
The drive home was silent and somber. Bob sat beside Louise and watched her sleep. He missed her and wanted to wake her up, but knew sleep was the best thing for her right now. The rest of the family was waiting at the apartment, to welcome her home. Tina and Gene had wanted to come and be there when she was released, but they were still in school while she received her last session. Bob and Linda also worried about her getting overwhelmed by the added company. So, Tina and Gene instead prepared a small welcome home party. Teddy got a cheap cake, and the kids made a banner. Bob's heart broke knowing Louise likely wouldn't even be aware of the welcome. They were in sight of Ocean Avenue when Louise suddenly jolted awake.
"Mom! Pumawalwaahhgh" Louise cried before getting sick all over the backseat.
"Lin pull over!" Bob cried.
Linda obliged and Bob swung the door open and carefully lifted Louise closer to the driver side door. The backseat, door, and sidewalk were soon soaked. Louise was crying again. Bob reached over and gently grabbed her hair. He felt what happened but didn't want to believe it. After five solid minutes Louise was finally done. Bob was finally able to look down at his hand and his fears were confirmed. In his hand was a giant clump of hair. He flung the other back door open and was sick himself.
"What happened?" Louise asked weakly.
"Louise, your hair is falling out." Bob replied sadly.
"And just int time for school. Perfect." Louise moaned.
"I'm sorry." Bob apologized.
Louise had to get sick again just as Linda was pulling up to the apartment. Once again despite Bob's best efforts she did not make it out of the car. Teddy and Big Bob were waiting outside. Teddy retrieved the wheelchair. While Bob and Linda carried Louise and her equipment upstairs. Big Bob gently offered to take the car to be washed. So, Bob and Linda could be with all their children.
"Welcome home, Louise!" Tina and Gene cried excitedly.
"Tina, Gene, I missed you guys." Louise said, before closing her eyes again.
"If you miss us than why are you going to sleep?" Gene questioned.
"Gene we talked about this. Her treatments make her tired. It's nothing against you." Bob assured.
"Yeah, since Louise is home. We can reopen the restaurant, right? We really should reopen." Tina questioned.
"Well, I was planning on reopening tomorrow." Bob replied.
"No, I think we should reopen now. We have to. We just have to." Tina rambled.
"Are you alright Tina? I've never seen you this eager to open." Bob asked.
"Jimmy Junior told me that we are going to lose the restaurant!" Tina cried.
"Where on Earth did Jimmy hear that?" Bob demanded.
"His dad was talking to Mr. Fishodor the other day and Mr. Fishodor is not happy with us for staying closed so long." Tina explained.
"Tina, I talked to Mr. Fishodor yesterday. He knows about Louise and is giving us an extension on rent." Bob assured.
"Yeah, but that's just an extension and what if we?" Tina cried.
"Tina, listen to me. Everything is going to be OK. We are going to figure this out. I can ask Warren for help if I have to, but no matter what happens. It is not your job to worry about this. It is mine." Bob assured.
"This is all too much. I need to lie down." Tina sniffed.
"Yes, you do. I am going to get Louise cleaned up and then put her to bed." Bob replied.
"What about me?" Gene asked.
"Come on Gene. We can't do the spa, but we can watch TV and talk." Linda offered.
"OK" Gene sighed.
Tina went to her room and Bob carried Louise to the bathroom. Gene walked over to the couch and took a seat next to Linda. She switched on the TV and flipped channels until she came to one of the soap operas they enjoyed watching together. It was tacky and trite, and the rumor was that they had actually stopped making new episodes ten years ago. Most people only watched ironically, for laughs, or for the attractive celebrities who made up the cast list. Gene and Linda however genuinely enjoyed the thing. At least they used to. Gene was mesmerized by the latest episode. Where the main character was supposed to attend the town's Christmas formal. With her beloved. Until he died in a cliff diving accident. She ended up dating his twin and inviting the twin to the formal. Only for her beloved to return from the dead. Noticeably less handsome but alive. Now they were fighting for her affection. Gene looked over to Linda. Eager to hear her take on the episode. Only to see she had not been watching at all. She was looking down at her stomach. She had been doing that a lot since Louise went in the hospital. He took a closer look and noticed that her stomach had grown since the hospital.
"Mommy? Are you OK? Is your tummy hurting?" Gene asked.
"No Gene. Well, a little but I will be OK." Linda assured.
"Are you sick too?" Gene asked.
"No, I am OK. I am well we will talk later." Linda replied.
"Why can't we talk now?" Gene wondered.
"Because I need to make sure everything is OK before I go telling people." Linda replied.
"But you said you weren't sick." Gene recalled.
"Hey how about we go see if Pop-Pop and Teddy are back?" Linda offered changing the subject.
Louise was home but she did not feel at home. Her amazing loft bed was gone and was replaced with a double bed on a platform frame. Her oxygen tank was beside the bed and a pack for her feeding tube was beside her. Under the bed were her medical supplies. Except for the oxygen canisters that were in Bob and Linda's room. Under her bed were the feeding tube accessories and… and diapers. Since another fun aspect of chemo was loss of bladder and bowel control. She shuddered at the memory of wetting herself during radiation. That's what started the diaper ordeal. The thing was she knew she had to go. She begged to use the bathroom, but the session had just started. She begged for fifteen minutes going from simply asking to screaming and crying. In a sick twist of irony. They were just turning off the machine. When she lost control. She remembered cursing the doctors and pointing to her now soaked gown saying it was all their fault. After wetting the bed twice that night. Dr. Rivera informed Bob and Linda that they were going to put her in diapers and advised that they purchase some for when she came home.
This was how she was expected to return to school. Sitting in a wheelchair, wearing diapers, dragging an oxygen tank, and feeding tube, with her hair falling out in clumps. She was hoping she would get some sympathy when she returned to school. Instead, she was going to be the school freak. Then there would be Chloe Barbash with her perfect hair and skin. Chloe who had the luxury of whispering that she had to tinkle winkle to Ms. Labonz and sprayed vanilla spray every time she farted. Chloe with her fifty-dollar lunches. Chloe who could go wherever she wanted. Even Rudy with his asthma had more freedom than her. She didn't understand why everybody thought that returning to school would be good for her. In her eyes returning to school was legal torture. Why did everybody insist on torturing a nine-year-old with cancer?
Down the hall in her own room, Tina was tossing and turning. Bob had told her that everything would be OK. That Mr. Fishodor would work with them and that he would find away, but what if he couldn't? What if Mr. Fishodor stopped being generous? Her mind was plagued by nightmares. Nightmares of the family losing their business and their home. Being forced onto the streets. Where Louise immediately got pneumonia and died. Where Bob and Linda stopped caring and it was her and Gene against the world. She knew that she had to do something but was lost as to what something could be.
It was now dinner time. Linda looked around the table at her family. Trying desperately to ignore the empty chair. Knowing they were reunited but saddened to know Louise was not fully back with them. Between the mouth sores and nausea, Louise had only eaten two meals by mouth since Thanksgiving. Both of which were lost immediately. They had offered to bring her to the table, but she did not have enough energy to even sit up. Even if she did the smell made her sick. She also had to ignore Gene's worried glances and Tina's mumbling to herself about money. She had to ignore Bob picking at his food and constantly getting up to check on Louise. Then there was her belly. In reality she didn't even have a bump yet, but her mind it was growing by the second, impossible to ignore. She longed to tell her family the news but there was so much fear. A baby at this stage in her life was risky as it was but knowing the baby could get Louise's cancer. It was all too much. She excused herself and ducked into her bedroom. Where she cradled the ultrasound in her arms. She was so excited for this baby, but oh so afraid as well.
Having Louise home brought new anxieties for Bob. There were no medical professionals around and she was so sick. It wasn't like the hospital where she had nurses and doctors checking her regularly. It was all on him and Linda. His greatest fear was something happening to her while nobody was around. As a result, he began checking on her constantly. Taking her vitals, checking the levels on her oxygen tank, making sure the NG tube hadn't detached. Making sure her supplies were all there. Unless she wasn't up for it. She was supposed to at least attempt school in the morning. Bob agreed that she needed some normalcy and to at least try to do more than sit around. He could tell she was getting depressed and hoped seeing her friends again would help. Still, he had so much fear about something happening to her at school.
"I don't know, Lin. Maybe we should just let Louise stay home. I mean she's missed weeks of school and going to miss even more. Why pressure her?" Bob suggested.
"She needs it, Bobby. Besides it's only for three hours and if she really can't handle it, they will call us right away." Linda reminded.
"What if something happens? She should have a nurse." Bob sighed.
"I know but Tina knows how to handle everything, and the school knows to send her if Louise has any issues." Linda assured.
"I am just so scared of losing her." Bob sighed.