I always knew I wanted to be a father, but it wasn't until Roza came into my life that I realized a very different aspect of my desire.
I didn't just want to be a father. I wanted to impregnate my fiancée. Desperately.
I wanted to fuck her until I put a baby in that soft, smooth belly of hers. I wanted to see that belly swell with my kid. I wanted to show her off as she grew. I wanted the world to see that Roza was mine in the most basic, primal, and disturbingly hot way.
It was probably a good thing Roza and I couldn't conceive together, or there'd already be a dozen and a half baby Belikovs running amok around here.
That didn't mean I wasn't still going to try.
I thrust into her hard, watching with satisfaction as Rose's breast swayed in time with the rhythmic thump, thump, thump of the headboard against the wall. Each time I hit her deep inside, she'd let out a little whimper and smile. God, I loved watching her in ecstasy, so wrapped up in her pleasure that she could barely keep her eyes open.
Sometimes we enjoyed slow, gentle lovemaking. Most times, we favored a hard and fast fucking that took our breaths away and left us covered in sweat and satisfaction. But occasionally, when I was in a mood like this, it was pure animalistic rutting with one goal in mind.
"You want my cum deep inside you, don't you? Filling you up?" I whispered the salacious words into her ear, relishing the way her eyes rolled back as I did so. I might have been the one with a breeding kink, but all it took was a bit of dirty talk to bring Rose to her knees.
She threw her head back, arching into me and letting out a drawn-out hiss of 'yesss' as I shifted.
"Good, because there'll never be a condom between us." Incredibly irresponsible, I know, but Rose and I had never bothered with protection. I had no intention of starting now. "My cum belongs in your body. You know it does."
She nodded, accepting the truth in my words. She wanted to come. She wanted me to come. I could feel her hips press into mine as she rocked and tried to wrestle control away from me, intentionally or not. I wasn't ready to give in to her yet. I wanted this to last. I wanted to drive her crazy until she was literally begging to orgasm.
That pretty mouth panted in desperation, lips parted and begging to be kissed. Obliging, I met her in a brutal lock that would surely leave us bruised in the morning, all while I practically violated her with my tongue. Some women might have shied away from such a demanding lover, but Rose matched me and kissed me just as hard and desperately as I kissed her.
She caught my lower lip between her teeth, tugging as I pulled back with a deep growl. The smug look she offered drove me back with a vengeance, not to her lips, but to her neck. It had taken me a long time to move beyond my past. For well over a year, it had been impossible for me to kiss her there without shame tearing me apart. It had been my obsession once, but it seemed forbidden after she brought me back. It never stopped seducing me like a siren's call, though. The temptation ate away at me each night, often as nightmares. Then as fantasies.
One night, one much like this where passion overrode all sense of propriety or good intentions, I gave in.
It started with just a kiss, sanctifying the place where I had abused her for weeks on end. When she gasped, regret followed. I had expected her to look at me with fear or disgust, but instead, I found wild desire in her eyes. A heartbeat later, her fingers were knotted in my hair, holding me tight against her throat as I allowed my darkest craving to surface and bit down. Not enough to draw blood, of course, but enough that she was sporting a mark the next day.
She had come so hard that night, shaking in my arms as she rode that high.
I could feel her getting close to that high again.
I pulled back suddenly, pinning her against the mattress with a hand covering her breast, kneading the soft flesh as she writhed beneath me.
When I slipped my cock from her, a whined plea of 'please, no' fell from her swollen lips. I taunted her, using the head of my cock to tease her body. I traced her slit up and down and rubbed across her clit in slow, smooth strokes, all while desperate tears formed at the corners of her eyes.
I could be cruel and do this for hours until I reduced her to a sobbing mess of need, begging for relief. I'd done it before.
Tonight, though, I had no intention of edging her until one of us broke. Tonight, I wanted to imagine things that I knew would never come to pass, no matter how hard I hoped.
I gave her breast one last squeeze, taking a moment to pinch her peaked nipple before letting my fingers trace down her body. Like a good girl, she stayed in place under nothing more than my gaze until I reached her ankle. I lifted it, turning my head to nip at the skin before placing it over my shoulder. I wrapped her other leg around my hips and notched my cock at her entrance, pressing in just enough to make her squirm without offering relief.
She bit her lip, and I could see the twitch of her hands as she tried to resist the urge to reach out to me and grasp control. She knew, even without me telling her, that she was mine to manipulate and pleasure tonight.
"Reach up," I urged. "Grab the headboard."
Immediately, she slipped her hands between the rungs and tightened her grip. Her knuckles blanched with the effort it took for her to hold on.
Pressing in slowly, I dragged out our sweet suffering as I watched my cock inch deeper and deeper until I was fully seated. I held for a moment, already feeling close to the edge, before pulling back and exchanging the deep penetrations for shallow thrusts. The erotic image of watching my cock disappear into Rose's sweet pussy as I fucked her left me entranced.
"It's probably for the best that I can't get you pregnant," I mused under my breath, mostly to myself. "Otherwise, I'd have already knocked you up long ago."
The thought of her pregnant made me groan. Even though it was impossible, I still wanted it. I could still envision it.
I was worried that I'd see that sad look in her eyes. The one that reared its head occasionally when our future as a family was brought up. The one that hid behind her joy when Lissa announced her pregnancy or when I held baby Zoya for the first time. The one that hinted at her fear and self-consciousness as if she was somehow inadequate because parenthood, at least biological parenthood, was beyond our grasp.
What I wasn't expecting was the sudden pulse of her body around me.
"дерьмо. You like the idea, don't you?" I could hear the wonder in my voice. "I felt you squeeze my cock. You'd let me fuck a baby into you."
Her pussy clung to me like a vice, leaving us both moaning as I began to take her a little faster.
"God, just the very idea drives me crazy. Imagining my seed taking in that nice fertile womb I know you have. It would probably only take once, wouldn't it? Your body is so eager and willing, it'd accept me right away."
She gasped, mouth parted and eyes entranced as I laid out our own personal erotica.
"Watching that smooth stomach of yours give way to my child. Those pretty little tits growing and getting so sensitive. You already respond so well to me, Roza. I wonder what sweet sound you'd make if I kissed those nipples. If I pinched and sucked." I leaned forward, opening her body to me a little more as I rolled a nipple between my thumb and forefinger. Her muscles strained to keep her hands in place as I played. "I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you."
I took her a little faster, a little harder. Her stuttered cries of pleasure grew louder and urged me on. Roza was so beautiful beneath me, it almost hurt.
I loved this woman so much.
"You'd be mine in every way, wouldn't you? My love, my heart, my cock, my ring, my name, my child. All of it would be yours to keep."
My promise was enough to bring her to the brink. Rose's face twisted in gorgeous ecstasy as she started to beg, her body already beginning to tighten around me.
"Please, Dimitri."
I leaned forward so that she could feel my breath on her cheek as I asked, "Please what, Любовь моя?"
"I need you." Her words stuttered as I thrust into her. Her eyes were half-lidded, gazing at me with an almost drunken desire. "I need you so much."
"Say it, Roza. Tell me what you need." It was a demand. I needed to hear those words on her lips.
Finally releasing the bars behind her, Rose snaked her arms around my neck and pulled me in for a kiss. I didn't have time to get lost in it, however, before she moved her lips to the sensitive spot near my ear and gently ran her teeth along the skin. Her breathy whisper followed. "Come inside me, Dimitri. Make me yours."
"О боже, трахни меня!"
I reared back, holding her hips in place as I began to brutally fuck her, rutting into her like an animal. Possessive growls rumbled through me like a savage beast. It was all I could do to keep from flipping her over to her hands and knees and mounting her.
I wanted to see her fall apart, though. Her pleasure was mine, and I needed to witness it.
Our rough pace sent us both to the edge quickly. All it would take was one more touch before we both fell. I had one last demand before I allowed that to happen, though.
"Take it, Rose," I ordered, my thumb barely brushing her clit as her body started to contract in orgasm. "Take every. last. drop."
She cried out, pushing me over the cliff and following her into oblivion as I did what she had begged me to; I came deep, deep inside her.
It took a while before we finally caught our breath again. I wasn't ready to let go, even once our bodies calmed and the pulsing and trembling quieted. If I could hold her like forever, I would. Keeping us close together for another minute or two, I reluctantly gave into reality and slowly pulled out. A bit of cum dripped from her as I slipped away. I eyed the offense with contempt before using two fingers to gather it up and put it back where it belonged: inside my Roza.
Cupping her pussy possessively, I watched her in total adoration as she hummed a nameless little tune with her eyes shut, lashes resting gently across her cheek. Her hair was a mess, beads of sweat causing little curls to form at her temples. Her cheeks were flushed, eyes hazy. She was the perfect picture of a woman well satisfied, and I couldn't help the swell of pride that grew within me.
It took a few minutes before either of us broke the peaceful calm between us, but I knew Rose would be thirsty. She always was after our more…spirited…moments together.
"Let me go get you some water," I offered, shifting off the bed.
Her hand reached out to stop me. "No. It's fine. I can get up. I need to use the restroom and take my meds anyway."
I let her pass, and as she slipped into the en suite I tried to straighten out the covers a little. The bed was a disaster, and I was beginning to wonder if it would be easier to just strip and remake the entire thing rather than just trying to smooth out the twisted blankets.
I had just finished fixing the bed and was getting comfortable when I heard Rose's frustrated grumbling from the bathroom.
"Goddammit!"
I rose up onto my elbows, looking towards the crack in the door and the light pouring out of it. I could see her shadow, but not her.
"You okay, Roza?"
She didn't answer as she stomped into the bedroom, found her suitcase, and threw it open. Clothes scattered around her as she tossed them aside in an effort to find something among the chaos.
When her search became obviously unfruitful, she threw her head back with a sigh. I'm pretty sure I heard a few mumbled curses in there, too.
"What's wrong?" I asked, genuinely concerned but happy that she seemed more annoyed than upset.
"I left my birth control back at school."
I hated that little twinge of hope that came unbidden.
Rose didn't take birth control to prevent pregnancies, though. With me, she didn't need to. According to her, it was for some other hormonal reason.
"The pharmacies are closed for the long weekend," I reminded her. It was the five-day Thanksgiving break, and they wouldn't be open again until Monday. "Do you want to go to an emergency clinic? Or I can drive us back to Leigh in the morning."
She waved me off. "No. It's fine. It just means my period will be a little wonky in a few weeks. No big deal."
She crawled back into bed with me, tucking herself against my body and resting her hand over my heart. I wrapped her up in my arms, reveling in the feeling that only came around once or twice a month. It was hard having her away so much. I wished I could have her in my arms forever.
We just had to get through her senior year, and then we'd be together again.
Rose chuckled, sending little trembles through my body at the joyful sound.
"Just think," she said, grinning up at me with mischievous eyes. "In another life, I could already be pregnant."
I groaned, pulling her closer. I know she was just teasing me a little, but holy fuck, just the thought of it made me want to flip her over and take her all over again.
"If only," I said, loving how her eyes softened a little as I shared my deepest desires. What I wouldn't give for a miracle like that.
"Yeah," she replied sweetly. "If only."