Johnny Bravo and his "Momma", Bunny, were shopping at a flea market in Aron City.
Johnny came across a strange looking oval mirror. Being the complete narcissist that he was, he couldn't help but look take a gander at his reflection.
"Oh man, I'm pretty," he drawled.
At that moment, the mirror glowed, and Johnny felt himself being sucked into an alternate dimension, completely defying the known laws of space-time.
"Whaaaaaa!" Johnny yelped as he fell through a tunnel of bright white lights.
Meanwhile, back at the flea market in Aron City, Bunny turned around when she heard a crash.
"Good lord, Johnny, what have you broken this time," she called out in exasperation. When she turned around to see who it was, her eyes became the size of saucers.
"Johnny dear, take off those ridiculous purple robes and that ridiculous wizard hat. Put them back where you find them, and I don't want any lip from you, young man!"
The man looked at Bunny strangely. "Excuse me madam, but who's this Johnny you were asking for? My name is Gilderoy Lockhart, and I have no earthly idea what I'm doing here."
Bunny gave "Johnny" a stern look. "Don't play games with me, young man. Lose those clothes and that terrible British accent while you're at it. I remember you playing Jacob Marley in high school, you can't act your way out of a box! Now do as you're told or you'll go to bed without your dinner tonight!"
Meanwhile, Johnny landed on his posterior in a strange classroom filled with people he had never seen before. "Owwww," he said as he rubbed his tailbone.
He saw about two dozen children staring at him, wide-eyed, looking at him like he came from another planet, which wasn't too far from the truth actually. One of the children, a girl with frizzy brown hair approached him
"Excuse me sir, but what happened to Professor Lockhart? He was just here a minute ago. If you're his replacement, you sure don't look very professional. Why are you wearing sunglasses inside?"
Johnny arched an eyebrow. "Wait a minute, little girl," he exclaimed. He scratched his head, trying to assess the situation.
"Little Suzy!" he cried out. "I'm so glad to see you! You gotta help me out! But why are you wearing those crazy clothes? And why are you talking all funny?"
The girl cocked her head, genuinely confused. "Who's Suzy? And I could say the same about you, sir."
Great, just great, Johnny thought. I'm now trapped in a class full of Limey kids. If that wasn't Suzy, who was she? Little Suzy from Aron City was a sharp one, he thought, and he really wished that she was there to explain what was happening.
"Okay, Limey Suzy, where am I? I was with my momma at the flea market not even ten minutes ago... then BAM! I fell though this bright tunnel and plopped on my butt in front of y'all."
He glared at the children. "I need answers," he grumbled impatiently.
Meanwhile, back in Aron City, Momma Bravo and "Johnny" were driving back home.
"I'm very disappointed in you, Johnny. You made a mess at the flea market, and you gave me lip. I expected better of you, young man."
"Again, I'm not sure who this Johnny is. I'm Gilderoy Lockhart, Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor at Hogwarts."
Momma Bravo shook her head. "That imagination of yours has only gotten you into trouble, Johnny-boy. When we get home, I want you to change into some respectable clothes. And for the love of Elvis, lose that awful accent of yours! It's really irritating."
A couple of hours later, Little Suzy hopped off the school bus and went to her mailbox. She found a strange-looking letter addressed to a "Miss Suzanne Cantrell".
"Ilvermorny Institute of Witchcraft and Wizardry?" she said to herself. "I have no idea what that is, but I guess I'll open it anyway."
Little Suzy's eyes widened as she read the letter. "I'm... a witch? This can't be real."
She quickly folded the letter and put it in her pocket, and fled to the Bravo residence as quickly as her little legs could carry her.
Momma Bravo opened the door. "Hello, dear," she greeted Suzy warmly. "Johnny's being a rather naughty boy today, I'm not sure if he can play today."
Suzy showed Momma Bravo her letter from Ilvermorny. "That's terrific, dear, but I have no idea what this mumbo jumbo is. I doubt Johnny does either, but I suppose he could take a look."
She cleared her throat and yelled at the top of her lungs. "JOHNNY!"
Professor Lockhart ambled to the porch with an extremely disinterested expression on his face.
"Little Suzy here has something to show you here," Momma Bravo said.
Suzy, being far more observant than Momma Bravo, immediately recognized that "Johnny" was not actually Johnny.
She arched an eyebrow. "You're not Johnny Bravo... who are you, and where is Johnny?"
"I'm Professor Gilderoy Lockhart of Hogwarts, young lady. And I'm glad that one of us finally figured out that I'm not Johnny Bravo." He gave Momma Bravo a bit of a glare.
"Perhaps you can explain this letter I got then, Professor," Suzy said. She handed the letter over to Lockhart.
"Hmm... Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft of Wizardry... Miss Cantrell, it means you're a witch," Lockhart said with a bit of excitement in his voice. "You've been invited to go to study magic at Ilvermorny. It's an institution much like Hogwarts, where I'm employed, except Hogwarts is in Great Britain."
"So... what do I do now?" Suzy asked.
Lockhart smiled. "Well, Professor Goode personally wrote this letter. She is the Ilvermorny Deputy Headmistress. She's actually an acquaintance of mine. I think she can help you, and perhaps help me as well."
"And what about Johnny?" Suzy asked. She scrunched her face for a moment, thinking. "Wait, if you're here, then Johnny must be at Hogwarts!"
Lockhart chuckled. "You're a clever one, Miss Cantrell. You very much remind me of a pupil of mine back in Britain."