Chapter 5 – Truths

"Are you gonna be okay?" said Harry, looking at the blank stone wall in front of him.

"Yes, I think so", said Hermione.

"Okay, well … just think of Ron, and the door should show up … good luck."

"That's not how it works, Harry..." she said.

"Well, er– good luck anyways"

Harry looked back at Hermione before turning the corner of the corridor.

Hermione heard the echoes of Harry's steps fade away, as the silence of the castle fell upon her ears.

I really need to talk to you Ron…I really need to…I can't lose you, I love you too much for that, I can't I–

And suddenly…a door was carving itself into the stone wall in front of her.

Hermione walked up to it, and was hovering her hand above the handle, trying to listen into the room before opening the door. It seemed quiet.

She opened the door and walked in, trying to make as little noise as possible.

The room was crammed with chairs, tables, cupboards, shelves, books and all sorts of items. She tried to walk as quietly as she could trying not to make any noises, so she could hear. Where could Ron be?

Hermione noticed the rear of a couch and a head of red hair, which seemed to be sitting at this very couch. She began to quietly make her way towards Ron, his back still turned to her. He suddenly got up, dropping an open book onto the couch, and holding his wand in the other hand. Ron pointed his wand at a chair, mumbled something Hermione couldn't quite make out, and the chair abruptly turned into a flock of doves.

They all scattered and Ron was looking after a dove that had flown over his shoulder. Ron turned around to watch the dove, but quickly jumped when he noticed Hermione standing there.

Ron was practicing spells in secret. His face of joy as he gazed after the doves turned into a venomous scowl, with which he was staring at Hermione now.

"Ron?" she said in a weak, trembling voice. Ron glared at her.

"What do you want?" he said in the same cold, we're-not-friends-anymore sounding voice, with which he'd told Hermione to leave him alone. A voice that made Hermione's heart wrench and her eyes fill with tears. "Came to 'help'?" he finished, mocking her voice.

"No … I-I came to apologize," she said, trying her best to keep her tears contained within her eyes. "For everything…" She could feel the weight of guilt sinking down on her as Ron huffed mockingly.

"Oh…how kind and generous of you," he said sarcastically.

"Ron…I'm really sorry…I-"

Ron's face flushed. He looked agitated.

"Sorry isn't gonna change what you think of me, Hermione!" he spat at her. "You think I'm pathetic! And maybe you're just sorry that I am pathetic!" He eyed her up and down and rested his eyes on her own. He shook his head and said, "And don't think for a second that I didn't see through you in Transfiguration. Complimenting my skills. I'm not here practicing spells because of you, if that's what you think," said Ron, the previously acquired flush on his face, now fading away.

"No … Ron … I … I really am sorry! Besides … I do think you're brilliant." She really wanted to tell him that she loved him.

"Just stop lying," said Ron coldly, giving off a cold, forced laugh (for the effect). "Now that you know how I feel about your comments and eye rolls… you wanna be nice and supportive? Do you really think I'm that thick?"

"Ron … I-I g-get that I should hav-have be-been a more supportive friend to y-you," she stammered, tears running down her face whilst her voice was interrupted by whimpers she couldn't control. "And I'm s-s-sorry that I-I haven't been. I-I really a-am. B-but…why were y-you s-so angry a-at me when you thought I-I had s-s-snogged Krum?"

Ron didn't respond at first. He looked at her in despair, but inside, his heart was torn apart at the sight of Hermione crying. He hated himself for hurting her this very instance. Even though she had hurt him, and should feel sorry, he felt torn.

"Because next to him, I'm just pathetic Ron Weasley. I don't…compare to Krum," said Ron heatedly. He looked however, as if he had said something he shouldn't have.

"Why w-would you compare yourself to him?" whimpered Hermione. She knew why, but didn't want to say it, in case she was wrong.
"Because…"

Damn it why did I tell her the truth? I mean…should I tell her? Should I actually tell her…what if she rejects me…well at least no one would be around to see. But what if I lose her as a friend— nevermind I already made that happen, or what if she makes fun of me? What if she says that I better be joking because I could never be with her? I don't know if I could take it. But what if she does like Harry? They're probably together already. What if she told the whole school how pathetic Ronald Weasly tried to ask out the brightest and prettiest witch of their school…he'd be a laughing stock and would have to go through another 3 terms being laughed at…

"Because…well…I don't like Krum, is all…" he said.

Ron's stern and angry expression began to loosen up slightly.

Hermione walked up closer to the couch. She was trembling. She knew Ron was dodging the question.

"Really? Th-that's why?" she said in a concerned voice, raising her eyebrows and biting her lip, tears slowly running down her cheeks.

"Why do you care?" snapped Ron. He knew that the only way not to break down in tears was to stand his ground and continue to be angry.

"Because…I care…about you…a lot…", she said, looking at him longingly.

She walked around the couch to stand next to him.

"Now you care. But why? Isn't it better this way? I mean, this way I can't get in the way of things, spoiling the mood or being a third wheel to Harry and you."

"R-Ron, please listen to me. Harry and I ar—"

"No, Hermione! Just don't, alright? He's brilliant at Quidditch and famous. Seems your type," huffed Ron, his eyes narrowing.

"I-" stammered Hermione, her eyes wide, and her face flooded with streams of tears.

"He's interesting and more fanciable than ever, isn't he? And he's the "Chosen One"! He fought Voldemort alongside Dumbledore and he's the great hero who fought for the truth whilst no one believed him. He carried away heroic scars on his hand, hasn't he?"

Ron paused for a moment. Hermione stood shocked in silence.

"Those were your words! You know how I know you've said these things? Because I was there when you did!" he yelled.

Hermione's eyes shot down to Ron's arm. His sleeves where rolled up, and there where faded scars from the battle of the Ministry on them. She remembered a fleeting image of them all sitting in the great hall; Hermione was talking about Harry, and Ron did try to roll up his sleeve, but Hermione had made no comment.

Could it be? Could she have accidentally made Ron jealous? Could she have accidentally lead him to believe there was something going on between her and Harry?

"I'm not with Harry! And I don't fancy him either" shrieked Hermione, who had found it within herself to speak again and fire back. "T-there is nothing going on between me and him!" She tried to stop herself, but, "But why do you suddenly care so much about my love life? First you get upset that I had sno—kissed Krum 2 YEARS AGO, and now you go off on me for possibly liking Harry! So what if I do like him, why would you have a problem with that?"

Ron's mouth formed words, but no voice was issuing from his mouth.

"S—so you're admitting it? You like Harry!"

"NO, I DON'T!" shrieked Hermione at the top her lungs, her face flushed with anger, her eyes full of tears.

Ron felt defeated, but relieved all the same. She didn't like Harry after all. But being the stubborn, flamboyantly tempered Weasley he was, he retorted.

"Why?" Ron's voice was shudderingly quiet and calm. As Hermione looked into his eyes, they were filled with sorrow and anguish she had only ever seen in Harry's eyes when Sirius was murdered.

"What?" asked Hermione in a small voice, her eye contact remaining.

"He's the 'Chosen One', fanciable, good at Quidditch and a hero. Your best friend, isn't he? Seems kind of right to date him as well, don't you think? At least he's not pathetic. But I already told you I lost count of how many times you've called me that. Oh boy, if I had a Galleon for every time you had called me that I'd be richer than Malfoy"

Ron made to snatch up his wand from the couch. He shut his book unnecessarily loud, and made to stride away from the couch.

"R-Ron … p-p-please…" whimpered Hermione. Ron stopped in his tracks.

"I just don't understand you, Hermione. The day we first met … you were quick to fix Harry's glasses, and point out that I had dirt on my nose. That's what this friendship feels—felt like to me sometimes. You're quick to support Harry and take his side, but I just get my flaws pointed out to me. CONSTANTLY. I … just don't want that to happen to me anymore. I may not … I may not matter much to this world, but I think I'm worth at least something. And I know I deserve better than being treated that way…especially from someone who was supposed to be…who was supposed be my friend."

Ron turned around.

"And I won't bother you with my pathetic, little problems anymore, don't worry."

Ron began walking away again.

"RONALD WEASLEY, YOU ARE NOT PATHETIC!" screamed Hermione.

Ron had made his way past several pieces of furniture, the door handle in sight.

"It doesn't change that you think I am"

"BUT I DON'T! RON! I DO NOT THINK YOU'RE PATHETIC! I HONESTLY DON'T!" shouted Hermione, who had begun sobbing the moment she'd finished.

Ron, who had kept walking, now gripped the door handle tightly, but his body was unable to move at all after that. He couldn't push the door handle down, nor turn around to face Hermione. He stood frozen at the sound of Hermione's whimpers. His heart twinged, squirmed and ached at the sound of her crying. He hated himself very much right now. But she had called him pathetic many times … but for some odd reason, those thoughts and the rage within him seemed to seep away with every instance a sound wave, filled with Hermione's sobs, entered his ears.

He turned around and began walking over to her.

"What do you want from me, Hermione?" asked Ron calmly, his brow furrowed, and his heart in anguish at the sight of her tear-stained face.

"I just want to talk!" she whimpered.

"There's nothing to talk about, Hermione," said Ron.

"Oh yes, there is," said Hermione. "I—I told Krum off after our kiss, I never went to Bulgaria either. We really are just penpals."

"Didn't keep you from snogging him though, did it?" said Ron coldly.

"And for the record…I said those things to cheer Harry up…" said Hermione.

"A-a-and I'm sorry … for all the things I ever said to put you down. I-I was j-just… I-I thought I was h-helping, but c-clearly I was being an insufferable know-it-all…I just can't l–lose you, Ron, I just–"

Hermione cut off. A barely audible noise made by her throat, sounding like "can't" mixed itself with a small sob.

Ron's demeanor broke, and his heart gave in.

"I'm sorry, too," said Ron. Hermione's eyes widened at his response.

Bloody hell…why is she so pretty. I managed to stay quiet for months during our third year, but I…I really hate seeing her cry…and that I'm the reason for it. She DID apologize…

"For…all the times I called you names or made fun of you for reading or studying…or spew, and … especially … when we first met and I said those horrible things about how you were a nightmare… " added Ron. Hermione began wiping tears off her face.

"It's S.P.E.W.," she said, smiling up at Ron. To her surprise, he smiled back.

"Spew's easier to say, though," said Ron, and his smile did not falter. Though it was small, it meant everything to Hermione.

"The things you said were the best thing to ever happen to my life. I wouldn't have been in the bathroom when the troll came in, and you wouldn't have had anyone to save… that's how all of us became friends after all … at Halloween," said Hermione, looking up at Ron.

They gazed into each others eyes, for what felt like a beautiful eternity to either of them, but it had really just been ten seconds.

A soft hoot from one of the dove's Ron had transfigured snapped both of them back to reality.

"Erm…we uhm…should get going then," said Ron.

"Oh, uhm, yes, I suppose we better…" replied Hermione, unable to hide the disappointment in her voice.

Ron strode over to the door of the Room of Requirement again and gripped the handle.

"You coming?" inquired Ron, looking back at Hermione, who had stood rooted to the spot.

She shuffled over to Ron and they both exited the room.

They fell in step next to each other on their way back to the common room, which was close by. Suddenly, Hermione remembered something.

"Oh, Ron… remember when I told you about Slughorn's Christmas party?"

"Yeah, why?" said Ron, his ears turning faintly pink.

"Well…will you…will you still go with me? I mean, after…everything…" said Hermione in a quiet voice.

"Uhm…you're sure you want to bring me?" asked Ron nervously. He felt his heartbeat speed up, and his knees became wobbly. He also knew he was going to have to trouble speaking.

"Yes. I want you to go with me," said Hermione, who was doing her best to keep her voice steady and her face with a regular expression. She had trouble hiding the crimson blush on her cheeks, however. Ron couldn't believe what he was hearing. Did Hermione just properly ask him out? He didn't even bring the topic up. She did.

"Yes!" said Ron, way too loudly for their current situation. They were walking alone in an empty corridor.

"I mean…yes, I'll go with you," said Ron, his cheeks reddened. His face was filled with slight embarrassment.

Can't even say "yes" without making a fool of myself. Me and my bloody nerves…

"Great!" said Hermione, beaming over at Ron. He caught her eyes, and quickly looked away again, for he suddenly found the carpet they were treading on truly fascinating. He smiled. He felt a lion's roar echo within his chest.

Harry turned around at the sound of the dormitory door opening. Harry caught sight of Ron and made no attempt to speak to him. But to Harry's surprise, Ron opened his mouth.

"I've been an idiot. To think you and Hermione were… or that you somehow betrayed me… I'm sorry, mate. Can we just—"

"Forget it? Yeah. Let's," said Harry, turning around, unable to withhold a smile.

"So…you and Hermione made up?"

"Yeah, I think so. She…she explained things and, well…her apology was…heartfelt. And frankly…I haven't been the best friend to her at times either, so…"

"Yeah…I s'pose…so…the two of you are…good, then?" asked Harry, furrowing his brow.

"Yeah! Hermione and I are friends again," said Ron casually.

But Harry's curiosity and his desire for his friends to finally admit things to each other wasn't satisfied. And perhaps Ron was keeping a secret.

"Just…just friends or…" said Harry, trying to sound as casual as circumstances would allow.

"W—what d'you mean? "Just" friends?" asked Ron, unable to conceal his ears turning red.

"Well, it's just you know…according to you…Hermione's got, you know…nice skin…so I thought that…" said Harry, getting in his four-poster, with Ron mirroring his actions, whilst he kept his gaze firmly locked at Harry.

Ron gulped. Was it that obvious? Did Harry know he liked Hermione? Should he come clean to his best friend about his crush?

"Uhm…well, I—I—I d—" stuttered Ron. Ron stopped and trailed off. Harry had him cornered, but for Ron's own good. Having someone to talk to about these sort of things is a good thing. And Harry did have more experience than Ron, too.

"You two are going to Slughorn's Party, right? Maybe…something good'll happen…never know," said Harry. Harry felt a twinge in his heart. Both his friends liked one another, but were to afraid to say anything.

It can't be that easy…what if she doesn't feel the same way…friends sure, but…perhaps Hermione want me to go out of pity?

"Well…I'm glad you two made up then," said Harry, grabbing the curtains to his poster-bed. "Goodnight, mate." Harry shut his curtains

"Yeah, g'night, Harry," said Ron absentmindedly, anxiety rising in his chest.

That Christmas Party of Slughorn's was in less than a week…

Bloody hell…what did Harry mean by that? What could happen? We're going as friends right? Now that I think about it…Hermione didn't mention anything about…about the fact that it could be a date…it couldn't be…could it? No…no surely just…just as friends…