I hate my smile.
Every Time I am in front of the mirror, I am disgusted by myself.
That smile.. Almost as if a devil has been forcing it out of me.
A perfect man? By being a middle man? But there is a limit to this charade.
Nothing but a coward.. With a pretty face. It's all it takes.
But without this pretty face of mine.. How will I be viewed in this society?
What if I cut out all my blonde hair..
What if I stab out these blue eyes..
But I need them.. I need them to fulfill the stakes I have nailed onto.
Expectations.
It's disgusting how much pain it causes..
The bearer works hard to reach it..
But what if he doesn't reach?
Guilt and pain plummeting him down to shame and despair..
But what about the people who placed these expectations..
..nothing that's what.
Y… Y…
I could never confront her.. And I never will.
I am not worthy..
This cowardice of mine is only useful to keep her happy, by keeping me away from her.
Free of regret.
Ok so I understand I can no longer go on with this character's head.. So I will start the actual story in the next chapter.