Chapter 1: What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger or Something
Ahsoka ran, with laser fire at her heels. There were a dozen Stormtroopers after her and she was without backup. Still, it could be worse. At least they didn't know she was involved with the rebellion. She had come to this junkyard planet to scavenge parts for her crappy old ship, only to be ambushed by Stormtroopers searching for thieves among the junk. They claimed the scrap metal belonged to the Empire and she needed a special permit to salvage anything. They tried to take her in and she ran.
Ahsoka dashed among piles of junk, neatly avoiding blaster fire, and moved farther and farther into a huge scrap heap. The Stormtroopers could not follow her into the tight spaces and spread out. Ahsoka crept along through the junk tunnels. Whenever she saw a Stormtrooper above her, she used the Force to make him go away. Soon she was far from the site and had left the Stormtroopers puzzled. They did not seem to plan on leaving soon so Ahsoka sought shelter. Who knew what lurked here at night? She found a giant, busted piece of an old starship and crawled inside.
It had once been a Separatist vessel. Ahsoka could have identified it as such in her sleep, even though only a few parts remained. She found one room where the walls were still standing and barricaded the door. The ship fragment was not horizontal and all the furniture in the room was in a pile in one end. Ahsoka arranged some tables and chairs into a bed and put her cloak down. She considered going to sleep for as long as possible, sleep being a commodity in her lifestyle, but it would not come. She ate in the dark and turned on her flashlight to look at the pile of furniture some more. Small objects had fallen to the bottom of the corner. Ahsoka noticed that it was mostly books, writing utensils, and paper. The books were textbooks on math and science.
Out of boredom, Ahsoka used the Force to pull out some of the books. She flipped through the pages, not actually interested in brushing up on algebra, until she came to some notes. She froze. That handwriting…she had seen it before. She reached into the bottom of her pack and took out a letter she had gotten a long time ago. The handwriting samples matched. Of course they would, this was a fragment of the Despair, General Grievous' space base that got destroyed by the Jedi. He had lived here with Nan until that fateful day. The letter was actually a will where he left all his money to Ahsoka. It had been a merry scavenger hunt. Ahsoka had used that money to start up the rebellion. She figured he would have been happy about that.[1] Ahsoka had not looked at the letter in a long time. After the list of places and account numbers, the General had written, "Figure out what your dream is and follow it, Stripes." It was a corny thing to say but Ahsoka found it comforting during the dark times that happened all too often.
She looked through the papers she found, feeling like she was prying into somebody's life. Why had Grievous done so many math problems? She found some papers that were graded, clearly by Nan. The grades were usually good, though one said, "B for Boring. There is another solution that is more elegant and I will mock you until you get it." Ahsoka found a piece of paper that was not notes or problems. It was a list titled: "Rules for the New Confederacy." The actual list was short: "1. Sitcoms cannot be more than five seasons. 2. Anybody can get a Ph.D. without getting a bachelor's first, because fuck liberal arts classes. 3. Instead of audits, tax disputes will be settled with duels. 4. Anybody caught using the word "like" in a context that does not merit a simile can be legally beaten up. 5. There will be no politics!"
Ahsoka realized Nan and Grievous had written up this list as a joke, imaging a situation where Count Dooku died and left them in charge of the Separatists. That would have been a hoot. Ahsoka put the list in her pack with the letter. She sighed. She could feel sorry for them, but she could not feel sorry for herself. At least, she tried not to, but sometimes it really hurt to think that she'd never had many real friends and these two people, who could have taken that place, had died a long time ago.
Daylight came, lighting up the rubble and debris of thousands of vanished lives. Ahsoka finally slept, her head on a physics textbook wrapped in her cloak.
Nan had been dead, almost, for a long time. It took a while for her to wake up, so long that Kevin and Kate started arguing over whose turn it was to use the HPLC. Nan opened her eyes and looked right into Clare's face, bloated and floating several feet above the floor. Clare was 2.5 times bigger than she had been ten years ago and her species was not known to grow after reaching adulthood. Kate suspected it was tumors but had never been bothered to check, plus it didn't really seem to affect Clare.
"I signed up first," said Kate.
"Not on the website. You know we've been using the website now," said Kevin.
"I like a paper sign-up better."
Nan stared at Clare. Clare stared at Nan and at the ceiling fan, since her eyes looked in different directions all the time. Nan figured this must be Hell until Kevin and Kate returned their attention to her.
"You were right about the viscosity of the medium and the concentration of amino acids," said Kate, continuing a conversation from ten years ago as if it was yesterday.
"Of course I was right," said Nan.
She tried to sit up but her limbs did not respond. Kevin poked her paws with a metal probe and asked if she could feel anything. She could not; she was paralyzed from the neck down. The nutrient medium had not been able to heal her completely. Considering the circumstances, Nan could not complain. They could fix her spine later or stick her head on a metal body like…
"Where is Grievous?" Nan asked loudly.
Kevin indicated something with his finger. Then he remembered that Nan could not get up and see and propped her up on a box of gloves. Nan scanned the room for her friend but all she saw was a large tank with something pale floating in it, a bunch of crappy lab equipment in piles on tables, and Clare, who gurgled softly. Nan fixated on the tank and realized the pale object floating in it was a brain.
"We couldn't put metal in the medium and it's easier to keep a brain alive without the other tissue," said Kate. "He's alive, as far as we can tell, because the electroencephalopathy machine is giving out a reading. We've put an electrode in the part of his brain that forms language so he should be able to communicate with us, but maybe his mind is just a gooey mess like Clare's."
"I'll kill you if that's the case," said Nan matter-of-factly.
"What about me?" Asked Kevin.
Nan gave him a withering look and said, "Yes, you too, dickweed."
"At least I won't be left out, like I always was in high school," said Kevin.
"He should be conscious," said Kate, pressing some buttons on a computer. "Here's the readout from the machine. It's complete gibberish. Let me put it on speaker. Maybe it's a language I don't know. You're good at languages, right, Nan?"
She pressed a button and the speakerphone let out a piercing bleep. She turned it back off and fiddled some more with the settings. Kevin fetched a pillow for Nan and arranged her more comfortably. She had an IV feeding her. Kevin gave her some water. Nan could tell that being hand-fed would get old fast, plus Kevin and Kate were bound to forget about her often. She refrained from calling Kevin an idiot when he spilled the water all over her chest because he knew that already.
"Ah, the censor is on!" Said Kate. "I don't know why but this machine has a setting that allows you to cover up bad language."
She turned on the speakerphone again. At first it bleeped, then she flipped a switch and an elegant female voice started cussing in a formidable manner. Nan recognized some of her own patented curses.
"Can he hear us? Shouldn't he have been able to hear us already?" Asked Nan.
"Maybe the frequency is not right," said Kate, "or Kevin didn't insert the second electrode into his hearing center. Did you remember that, Kev?"
"I didn't remember to eat whole grain this entire week but I remembered that," he said.
Kate got the frequency correct right before he said this and the female voice stopped cursing.
"Who's there?" Asked Grievous.
"I'm getting the fuck out of here," said Kate. "Explaining what happened to him will be incredibly tedious and I have HPLC time."
"No you don't! I signed up first!" Said Kevin.
"Glug, glug, glug," said Clare.
"Too true," said Nan, presumably to Clare.
"This is not what I expected Hell to be like," said Grievous.
Kevin and Kate exited, still arguing about the HPLC time. If it came to blows, Kate would undoubtedly be the winner because Kevin was so sensitive that a paper cut caused him days of worry. Nan stared at the pale brain floating in the tank, feeling as if everything was unreal.
"Is this just the waiting room for Hell or something?" Continued Grievous. "I see how it is. I feel and see nothing right now but suddenly, bam! Out comes the torture stuff. I think I would have preferred a gentle and peaceful nothingness over Hell. Who wouldn't? But of course, it wouldn't be gentle or peaceful. It wouldn't be anything. It would just be nothing."
"G, shut up, I can hear everything you're thinking."
"Nan? You're in Hell with me too? I was certain they'd forgive you and let you go the other way, just because of how cute you are, as long as you kept your mouth shut."
"You're not dead. Kevin and Kate rescued us using a regenerative growth medium that, admittedly, they would never have developed if it wasn't for my advice. Look, I'm going to be frank with you. Don't freak out and have a nervous breakdown. This sort of thing has happened to you before and you got over it somehow."
"Am I blind? I don't remember Dooku stabbing my eyes out."
"Kevin and Kate cut away all your tissue for some stupid reason and you're a brain floating in a nutrient broth."
"What a statement. Not everybody is lucky enough to hear such a thing in their lifetime. Are you all right, at least?"
"I'm paralyzed from the neck down."
"Oh, you poor thing. That's frustrating; I know all too well. I'm sure they can fix you up, though. Where are we? Where are the Jedi?"
"I have no idea. Kevin and Kate have gnats' attention spans and they didn't leave any sort of device for me to call them. I hate to break this to you, but we're probably going to die again because those two morons will forget to feed us. They will not hear our screams."
On the contrary, Kevin soon came back looking defeated. He pushed Clare out of the way and offered Nan some food pellets.
"Sorry about your HPLC time," said Nan sarcastically.
"It's even worse than that!" Said Kevin. "Kate hit me and said I have to clean up your messes. I can't wait until we fix your spine. I've already called the doctor and sent her your x-rays and scans. She should be able to come up with something over the next few days. Do you think you could just stay on IV fluid for that time? I don't think you can feel hunger."
"Actually, I have a strong hankering for cake and prune juice," said Nan.
"What about me?" Asked Grievous.
"Oh, I sent Mila your info too. She's a really good neurosurgeon but it will take her longer to figure out how to create a body for you, and engineer it and everything."
"Mila Ne? The Kaminoan?" Asked Nan.
"Yeah, she's one of the only Kaminoans left," said Kevin.
"What?" Asked Grievous.
"Oh boy," said Nan. "She's a real fruitcake."
"What do you mean, one of the only Kaminoans left?" Asked Grievous. And suddenly, he realized it sooner than Nan. It was not the next day after their battle with Count Dooku. It was not even the next week. It must have been months…the war must have spread to and consumed Kamino.
"What's the status of the Clone War?" He asked.
"Oh, it ended ten years ago," said Kevin nonchalantly.
Nan spat the food pellet across the room. Clare ambled after it and started sucking it off the floor. Grievous was flabbergasted. Ten years? Ten fucking years?
"Do you mean to tell me that it's been ten years since we died?" Asked Nan.
Kate entered the room at that moment and immediately left. She could tell that another tedious explanation was about to be delivered. Kevin told them everything that happened in a broad context. Nan and Grievous did not know how mad they were supposed to get. They tried to digest the information but kept pestering Kevin with questions. So the Jedi were all dead? The clones did it? Palpatine was Darth Sidious? What the fuck?! And so on, ad infinitum.
It was a lot to take in. Nan was incredibly tired by the end of the explanations and asked Kevin to put her head down. Grievous could not shut up. His tangled thoughts were all on the speakerphone. He could not control which thoughts were to be spoken and which were to remain unsaid and they heard all his internal monologues. It was quite tiring.
"I'll just shut the sound off," said Kevin.
"No!" Shouted both Nan and Grievous.[2]
"That is very rude," said Nan.
"I'd be lost without that machine," said Grievous, starting to feel panic.
Kevin shrugged and left. He took Clare with him because he was afraid she might lie down on Nan and suffocate her. Clare had done that to him many times. Was she doing it out of malice or a desire for revenge? Or did she just like to lie on something warm?
"Could you please think in pictures?" Asked Nan.
"I'll try," said Grievous.
Five minutes late he said, "Fuck, that was so hard and frustrating!"
"Do you want me to recite the numbers of pi to make you fall asleep?"
"I don't think it will help."
"3.1415926…"
Several irrational numbers later, they were both asleep.
Sometime later, Kevin and Kate arrived again. Nan knew it was important to keep their attention or they would drift off and forget their old/new project. She insisted that they stick a third electrode in Grievous' visual cortex so he could see what was going on.
"But there's nothing going on," said Kate.
Still, she sent Kevin to get an electrode and sat down at the computer to configure the program. She responded to Nan and Grievous' questions with only grunts so they stopped bothering her lest she leave again. They had already discussed the things they would do to Kevin and Kate if they ever regained use of limb. They weren't planning to kill the scientists but a good toilet dunking was expected.
Kevin returned with the electrode and put on some long gloves so he could reach into the tank. He turned on a feature that projected the anatomy of the brain on the brain with colored lights. For a while he dithered, not sure of just where to put the electrode.
"Just stick it in there already," said Kate in the same boner-quenching tone she used during sex.[3]
Kevin inserted the electrode and peeled his gloves off. He immediately wished he hadn't wasted that pair because Clare had floated in again and she was dripping slime today. He started turning the gloves inside out again so he could push Clare out and into a shower. Meanwhile Kate got the program working and turned on a video camera. Grievous could see all of a sudden, and he saw Clare first of all.
"Kate? What happened to you?" He asked.
"Ha," said Kate.
"Mila is going to visit today to look at you guys," said Kevin. "I'll go ask the droids to prepare a nice meal. We so rarely have visitors."
"There's a reason for that," said Kate. "I hate everybody."
"So why do you live with Kevin?" Asked Grievous.
"He's basically a dog."
Kevin did not seem upset by such a description. He ferried Clare out with gloves. Nan asked Kate for some grub and was heartlessly told that she still had a full bag of IV amino acids and carbs. Grievous asked Kate to turn the camera toward Nan because all he could see was a corner with a dustbin.
"You'll get as tired of looking at her as I get of seeming my face in the mirror every day," said Kate.
She did not turn the camera and left. Grievous felt depressed. As far as torture went, this was not so eventful, but he was starting to doubt his very own existence.
"I just thought of what would be the worst," said Nan.
"Being stuck like this forever?"
"Yes, but also if you got a song stuck in your head. You'd drive me crazy. And, let me repeat, this won't be forever. Either Mila will fix us or they'll all forget about us. Then I will starve and you will rot."
"Is anything real, Nan? Are you just a figment of my imagination? So much of our life is based on moving through space and acting upon objects and people. I can't do anything now."
"You can still be annoying."
"It's nice to know I can count on you for emotional support."
Mila arrived a few hours later. She shook Nan's lifeless paw and waved at Grievous' camera like an idiot. As far as Kaminoans went, she was atypical. She did not wear the usual garb of tightly fitting catsuit-robes but appeared in shorts and a long T-shirt with the logo for Kamino's only sports team, the Cephalopods. It was a basketball team, strangely enough, or maybe not so strange, considering the height of Kaminoans.
"I'm so glad to finally meet you, Nan," said Mila. "I know so much about you, anatomically, I mean. I've been anxious to find out if your personality is anything like I imagined after examining your CT scans."
They had lunch while Mila rambled on about Nan's anatomy. Kevin fed Nan. Mila summarized Nan's situation and offered her solution: instead of a traditional surgery, she wanted to encase Nan's entire spine in an artificial tube to prevent injury in the future. Mila had done enough traditional spinal fixes to know that a second injury was quite likely and could happen just from falling on the floor or very boisterous activity.
"My cousin was paralyzed from the waist down," she said. "I was chosen to do the surgery and I warned him that he needed to start leading a more sedate lifestyle. A few months after the procedure he invited somebody over and they went at it like gangbusters. I wasn't able to fix him a second time and he just wasted away from being unable to do his favorite activity."
Without warning, she said to Grievous, "You clearly didn't have such a strong sexual drive as my cousin, seeing as how you were fine with the lack of a lower body."
"Um…yeah?" He said. But of course he said more than that, since they could hear what he was thinking. That was, naturally, "What sort of crazy person asks questions like that of strangers?"
"I did a psychiatry rotation," said Mila. "It wasn't my fave."
"Did your cousin die?" Asked Nan.
"Eventually Palpatine's goons blew up my entire hometown. I was at S3F. But my cousin, after wasting away for a while, did have his moment in the spotlight. He got into some strange, masochistic porn because, you know, he couldn't feel anything down there…"
"I'm not drunk enough for all this," said Nan.
"Can we get back to the surgical procedure?" Asked Kate.
Grievous thought he would never be thankful to Kate for anything, not even saving his life, but he thanked her for ending this conversation.
Mila described the procedure in detail. She wanted to encase Nan's spine, including her tail, in a metal cover. Nan didn't see anything awry and agreed to the surgery.
"What about me?" Asked Grievous.
"Are you always such a drama queen?" Asked Kate. "Me, me, me! It's not all about you."
"What the hell is her problem?" He thought (aloud). "She used to be scared of me."
"If there should ever come a day when I'm scared of a brain in a nutrient broth, kill me," said Kate.
"I'm not sure I can help you," said Mila. "I'm not an engineer of prosthetic bodies. I have the parts to make Nan's spine but I would need to build your body from scratch, and our engineer just killed himself."
"Second suicide this year," said Kevin.
"Good riddance," said Kate.
"I could stick your head on a droid's body," offered Mila.
"I'm an engineer," said Nan. "I'll make your body after Mila fixes me."
"I'm not sure I can trust you," said Grievous. "You'll put a whoopee cushion inside me or make me something ridiculous, like a robot that can turn into a car."
"So that's settled," said Mila. "Let's do Nan's surgery tomorrow. Prep a room, you guys. This entire place is filthy. Clare's slime is all over the walls."
"It's not just Clare's slime," said Kate, looking at Kevin skeptically.
"And we're back to that conversation," said Grievous.
Mila returned the next day with the artificial spine. The droids had cleaned a room. Kevin and Kate were going to assist Mila with the surgery. Nan stayed calm, figuring that she had nothing to lose. Grievous asked for and actually got a TV that he could watch so he didn't have to just float and worry. The denizens of SCD had hundreds of years of sitcoms on TV, but obviously nothing very recent. Grievous picked a documentary on the Clone War. This was how, while Nan was undergoing a critical surgery, he learned that Count Dooku had cloned him and more to the point, Mila had done it.
The so-called doctors put Nan under anesthesia and started the procedure. It was a long and gory business. Though certifiably insane, the three scientists did know their job well. Halfway through the surgery Kevin finally asked about something that was bugging him.
"Hey Mila, I know this is completely irrelevant, but why are you naked?"
Mila was too involved in her work to reply.
The surgery went well. After Nan woke up, she could move her limbs and her naked metal tail. The scientists also installed some tools into her back that could be retracted, a sort of miniature Doc Oct ensemble. Nan had a little knife, spinning saw, laser, and some tiny pliers in her back. She had always, to some extent, envied Grievous his four arms and wanted to be like him.
Kevin wheeled Nan back into the room with the tank. She still had to rest for a few days before attempting to walk. Mila and Kate soon came too (Mila was clothed again.)
"What the hell?" Said Grievous. "Mila, you cloned me? That's insane!"
"I totally forgot to mention that," said Mila. "Yeah, your old boss asked me to do it because he had issues with change or something. Actually, I cloned you four times."
"What the hell?" He repeated.
"What's the big deal?" Asked Kate. "Jango Fett had his ass cloned a million times and he didn't mind. It's not as though a clone is your illegitimate child that suddenly gets left on your doorstep."
"Why did you clone me four times?" asked Grievous, calming down.
"It takes about seven years for a normal clone to reach maturity," said Mila. "Count Dooku didn't have so much time and gave me three months. I managed to speed up the process but it only worked one out of five times correctly. Failed attempts resulted in massive neural degradation or intense physical deformity. The first clone was a vision out of a nightmare. Our little Clare looks like a diva compared to that. There were twenty limbs coming out and in all over the place."
"Oh…I'm puking inside my brain," said Grievous.
"Good guess, that's kind of what the second clone did! The third was almost normal, just brain dead. The fourth was fine and I was kind of sad to chop its head off. But seriously, General, you should be happy. You can be certain that I will perform your surgery optimally because I've had so much experience with your body."
"Eh…," was all he said, deciding not to point out the innuendo she had made accidentally but finally and unfortunately thinking in pictures.
"I'm feeling fine, thank you," said Nan.
After a few days, Nan was up and about. She started drafting the plans for Grievous' body but Mila came up with another idea. Even Nan was skeptical at first until she visited Mila's lab and saw the proof. It sounded truly ridiculous—a brain transplant, but Mila had done it with ducks and rabbits. The surgery went remarkably well in lower animals. They were confused at first but eventually settled down to their new life. Kate had offered Kevin as a subject but he refused.
"Anything is possible with the Force," said Mila.
"Are you a Force-wielder?" Asked Nan.
"No, but I don't need to be. My ideas about this were quite controversial back when I still lived on Kamino. I believe that some of our most complex surgeries are possible because the Force helps. Other scientists think that's bollocks, superstition almost, but really they just don't want to admit that they're not the miracle workers they think they are. In my opinion, nerve networks mirror the convolutions of the Force. That is why we can fix a severed spine or attach prosthetic limbs so well. Without the Force, nerves would just be ever so many ragged threads."
"So then why don't all injuries heal by themselves?"
"I'm not too sure about that one and that's why the other scientists laughed at me. My only explanation is that a doctor is required. The action of a third party, besides the host and Force, somehow makes it work. The doctor's effort is required to direct the Force in some intangible way. After all, there are healers out there, people who can lay a hand on you and fix your wounds. They are Force-wielders, of course, but regular doctors can do an amazing amount of work with what they have."
Sometimes Mila actually sounded like a normal, even slightly wise person. Then she would walk by wearing two left shoes and talking backwards.
Grievous agreed to the procedure because everybody else was so excited about it. They went to a zoologist named Vadim Ekos for a suggestion of the perfect host animal (again, Kate pointed at Kevin but this time Grievous refused because he didn't want his brain put in the body of a little bitch). The solar system that SCD orbited was rich in flora and fauna. Dr. Ekos had enough to study for the rest of his life. The residents of SCD had given the planets the names of diseases. There was Tuberculosis, Atherosclerosis, Typhoid, Measles, and others. One planet was called Undergrads.
"Undergrads?" Grievous asked. "That's not a disease."
"Oh, they are, they are," Kate, Kevin, and Nan all said simultaneously.
The planet Undergrads was the only one that had a named moon; Herpes.
Dr. Ekos found several candidates for the host body. Grievous rejected the herbivores on the grounds that if he had to eat fucking salad for the rest of his life, he'd commit suicide. He knew the perfect animal when he saw it. It was a six-legged white dragon that lived on the planet Thrombocytopenia. It felt like it was meant to be. The dragon was an omnivore and had opposable thumbs. With training, it was capable of speech. It was a wingless dragon.
The droids were sent to hunt one down and bring it up. Only at the last moment did Kevin suddenly ask Grievous what sex of dragon he wanted.
"What sex do you think I want?" Asked Grievous.
"If it was me, I'd like to be a female."
"It's not for you."
The dragon was dart-gunned down and brought up to the ship. Its brain was removed and put in a fridge somewhere. Grievous felt a tad, just a tad, bad for the creature, like Nan sometimes felt bad about the cows that went into her burgers. The surgery was not as long as Nan's and Mila was fully dressed, albeit in a tuxedo. After the dragon's skull was reattached, Mila instructed them all not to attempt to wake Grievous for at least 24 hours.
Nan, still convalescent, lay curled up in a box while she waited. Kevin and Kate played Connect 4. Kevin was better at it than Kate and ended up with a chip imprint on his forehead. Mila sat around knitting and then went to the bathroom for a while. When she returned, she asked the question that nobody wants to hear at a party or on an airplane or anywhere, really.
"Do you guys have more toilet paper?"
After she was gone for another while, Kevin and Kate argued about who would get to clean up the mess from Mila's presumed diarrhea.
"Just get the droids to do it," said Nan with a sigh.
They sent the droids into the bathroom after Mila went for a nap but the droids said it wasn't dirty. Kevin and Kate went in and then dragged Nan in her box to look at Mila's masterpiece. She had wetted toilet paper and thrown it up to stick on the ceiling. The image was of a cochlea.
"And this is the person I allowed to do surgery on myself and my friend," said Nan.
After the 24 hours were up, the scientists reconvened and woke Grievous.
"How do you feel?" Asked Kevin.
The dragon groaned something that roughly translated to, "I'm in terrible pain!"
"Again with the drama," said Kate. "Of course you are. You just had your skull cut open. Plus, we dropped your brain on the floor when we were taking you out of the tank."
Grievous wailed and whined.
"That was a joke," said Kate. "I make them occasionally."
The put him on pain killers and after a few days, he was feeling a lot better. Mila suggested that he eat the dragon's original brain for his first meal. When he refused, she cooked it up into meatballs and everybody ate them and she only said what was in them after they were done. Ah well, brain meatballs would not be the worst thing Grievous would eat in his new life.
Obtaining a new body is a wonderful gift. It is a new lease on life that most people are not lucky enough to have. Anybody who suffered pain and mutilation such as Grievous did would be ecstatic to have a new body. They would treat it like a temple and a treasure. They would eat right, exercise, curb unhealthy habits, and pursue life-enriching activities while constantly thanking fortune for this blessing.
That's probably not what Grievous was thinking about when he drank two liters of beer and threw up all over himself.
Footnotes
[1] He would not have been happy about the rate at which she spent the money.
[2] Presumably Grievous shouted. The female voice was completely uniform.
[3] Which must have been over ten years ago, because as I've already said, nobody was having sex at SCD. Nobody.