They spend the rest of the day all together and it makes Casey wish more than anything that she was one of those people who were able to live in the moment and enjoy the present instead of worrying about the future. But she's not. She spends the day oscillating between feelings of peacefulness and joy and love for her family to sadness and anxiety and anger and fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of not being able to come home whenever she wants. Fear of losing…she doesn't let herself think about the last one.
George comes home once for a few minutes to give Casey the emergency credit card and pack some more clothes for himself and Nora. He's gone in less than half an hour. She and Derek play board games and watch movies and make up contests to keep everyone busy. They bicker throughout the day and every time the bickering stops, he winks at her and every time he winks at her the butterflies in her stomach flutter harder and harder. Overall, he's the most tame and pleasant he's ever been all day, toward everyone. It only makes her that much more sad. It would be a lot easier to be less sad if he were being a jerk.
Lizzie and Edwin go to bed around midnight but Marti asks to stay up. Casey says no but then she gives Derek puppy dog eyes and he says she can stay up a little longer. She falls asleep on him almost instantly. Casey and Derek both sit, staring at the movie they'd put on but not been paying attention to. Casey becomes hyper aware of her breathing and sneaks a peak at Derek. Her heart melts when she sees him looking down at Marti with a serene smile on his face.
When their parents had first gotten married, seeing how Derek was with Marti was the only redeeming quality Casey would have been able to think of for him. The more time went on, it had become even more endearing. And even though she would never admit it, for the past few months, it made her wonder what he would be like as a dad. A dad to her kids. And then she'd have to have her least favorite conversation with herself, the one in which she needed to remind heart eyed Casey that she'd never get to know what that was like. Because she couldn't. They couldn't. She'd become quite the expert at breaking her own heart.
Derek must have felt her watching him because he looked up at her and gave her a crooked smile.
"Hey," he whispered.
"Hi," she whispered back.
For a moment, they just sat there with faint smiles, staring at each other. Derek broke the tension first, glancing over at the TV.
"Any idea what this movie is about?" he asked. Casey stifled and laugh and shook her head.
"No idea," she admitted. He grinned back at her and then glanced down at Marti for a second.
"Meet me in my room?" he asked. Casey bit her lip. She knew she should say no. Every logical bone in her body was screaming at her to say no.
"Okay," she whispered.
She watched as he carefully scooped Marti up in his arms and slowly began to carry her upstairs. Casey felt herself stare fondly after him until he rounded the corner and she couldn't see him anymore. She tried to take a deep breath but it felt like she couldn't get enough air in her lungs. She just stared at where he'd been on the stairs and then finally, willed herself to get up and follow. One foot in front of the other until she reached the top of the stairs. She looked toward her door and told herself to just go in and lock the door and to do anything but go into Derek's room.
And yet, she found herself tip toeing toward his door, opening it and quickly slipping inside. She closed the door behind her and found that he must have still been in Marti's room. She awkwardly stood in the middle of the room, wondering what to do. Should she get on the bed? Was that even what they were going to do? No, she decided, no it was not. No way.
The door opened and she whirled around to find Derek, shutting it behind him.
"Hey," he whispered again. The way he was looking at her made her want to kiss him and run away at the same time.
"Hi. I should go," she blurted out. He frowned and she gave a small nod.
"Do you want to go?" he asked.
"No," she answered automatically.
"So don't go," he replied.
"Okay," she answered quietly.
"Can you just…sit down or something?" he asked, sounding exasperated. Casey nodded and sat down on the edge of his bed.
He stared at her for a long time and she felt herself growing self conscious under his intense gaze.
"What?" she asked, crossing her arms.
"What are we gonna do about this, Case?" he asked her finally.
"What are we gonna do about what?" she replied. Except she knew what he was talking about. Sort of. Actually, at this point, it could have been about any number of things. Derek rolled his eyes.
"You know what I'm talking about," he replied. Casey shrugged and he continued to stare at her so intensely that she felt like she might melt under his gaze. If she was being honest with herself, she had pretty much always felt like that when he looked at her. But now that she knew what he was capable of, what thoughts might be running through his head when he looked at her that way, it made her nervous…in a good way. She thought she'd probably end up throwing herself at him if they continued their staredown, so she looked away as if the contents of his room weren't already extremely familiar to her and pretended to be fascinated by some poster on the wall.
"Casey," Derek said, his voice wavering. She still couldn't bring herself to look at him, and looked down at her feet.
"Look at me," he instructed and despite herself, Casey finally looked up at him again. And there was the look.
"What do you want, Derek?" she asked, exasperatedly. She was emotionally exhausted and all her self restraint was wearing dangerously thin.
"I…" he started to say, but stopped talking as soon as he let out the word. He took a step closer to her and she stayed where she was on his bed.
"You?" she asked, impatiently. He sat down beside her and never took his eyes off of her.
"I don't know," he admitted. Now Casey was the one to do the eye rolling. He was giving her whiplash. One minute he was being a total jerk and the next it seemed like he may actually return her feelings. And then he was back to being Mr. Noncommittal.
"I'm gonna go," she said, and started to stand up. He gently grabbed her wrist and she turned back to look at him.
"I don't know what I want," he said again. She sighed.
"But what I do know is…I…I haven't been able to stop thinking about that night in the cabin. I don't think there's been a second these past few weeks where I've stopped thinking about it. And I hate that it's made things weird," he said, voice low, gaze fixed on her.
"Me too," she admitted.
"So what good are we doing ourselves by staying away from each other then?" he asked, a small smile playing at his lips.
"Because, Derek…it's…" she started to argue with him but stopped, not knowing how to finish her sentence. There were a myriad of things that could have ended that sentence. Wrong? Weird? Pointless since we're about to live in different countries? But none of those seemed like valid arguments. It didn't feel wrong. It didn't feel weird. Being touched by him made her feel like every cell in her body was dancing.
"It's okay," he said, and the confidence in his statement shocked her.
"Is it?" she asked. He nodded and in that moment she let herself believe him. She knew she'd second guess it later, but right now all she wanted was to be as close to him as humanly possible.
"What about," she paused, not knowing how to word it without making it sound taboo, "our family?" she asked.
"They never have to know," he replied, scooting closer to her. A pit formed in her stomach. If their family never had to know, that meant that they wouldn't be together. If he didn't want to actually be with her, then he just wanted to sleep with her. She felt stupid for thinking it could be more. This was Derek afterall, he didn't have a romantic bone in his body. He had admitted it himself. But still, there were times when she caught him looking at her that she could have sworn maybe he felt the same way she did. Apparently not.
"So…just sex then?" she asked, looking up at him and trying to hide the disappointment in her voice. Under any other circumstances, Casey McDonald was absolutely positively not a "just sex" kind of girl. But sex with Derek had been…she gasped as she felt him kiss her neck. He hummed against her neck and she took it to mean "yes".
"F-fine. But after you d-drop me off in New York," she stumbled over her words as he kissed his way up to her, then her jaw, until he finally kissed her lips, like she had been dying for him to do all day.
"After I drop you off in New York?" he asked, lips still against hers. She placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back a little so she could look into his eyes, which were already darkening with lust.
"That's it. After you drop me off in New York, we stop this," she said, trying to sound stern. Because if Derek was just in this for sex, then she would need all the space, distance, and silence from him that she could get while in New York. Because getting over Derek Venturi had to be at the top of her list. It just had to.
He stopped kissing her and pulled back, staring at her with an unreadable expression. She resisted the urge to scream. She could either read him like a book or not at all, there was no in between. And with this…situation, he had her stumped.
"What?" she asked.
"Whatever you say, princess," he said, but his tone was a bit clipped.
"Whatever I say? Where's that attitude been this whole time?" Casey asked, raising an eyebrow. A slow grin spread across his face and he tilted his head.
"Shoulda let me see your tits sooner," he smirked. She gaped at him and felt her face grow hot.
"Der-ek!" she snapped, but secretly she liked it a little bit.
"Der-ek!" he mocked her in a high pitched tone, putting a hand to his chest in mock scandal.
"Don't be so- ugh," she finished lamely, not knowing how to end the sentence.
"Aw, but being ugh, is so fun," he teased, scooting closer to her, and reaching out toward her. She swatted his hand away, teasingly.
"Come on, Casey," he whispered, breath hot on her ear as he scooted so close, she was practically on top of him. He slipped one hand across her lap and to the other side of her waist so his face was right in front of hers. The usual mischievous glint in his eyes was ever present and shone even brighter than normal, fueled by lust.
She wanted desperately to just throw herself at him but her pride wouldn't let her. If he wanted her so badly, just for this, she was going to make him work for it. So instead of leaning forward and kissing him like she wanted to, she disentangled herself from him and stood up, once again pretending every item in his room was far more interesting than him.
"I don't know, Der…I'm just not feeling…respected," she said, drawing out her words. It wasn't a complete lie. He had made her feel like he liked her and then sort of taken it back right? Okay, technically she took it back for him. Not even took it back…he had never told her to begin with.
"Respected?" he asked, his voice a mixture of confusion and irritation.
"Yeah, respected. Or valued," she added, turning around to face him, keeping her arms crossed. He was looking at her like he used to back when she first moved in. Completely and utterly bothered. It almost made her feel guilty.
"Is this because I called your tits…tits?" he asked, confused.
"No!" she snapped, embarrassed that he thought she was that much of a prude.
"For fuck's sake, Casey, just get over here!" he exclaimed dramatically, flopping back onto his back.
"No," she said simply, standing her ground and staring at him. He let out a loud sigh and sat up, staring right back. For a second, it was almost like they were back to how things were…before. Except this time instead of fighting over the remote or who got to use the car that evening they were fighting over…what exactly? Who was going to make the first move? Casey could have laughed at how ridiculous they were being except she sure as hell wasn't going to be the one to break first. They might be sort of sleeping together now, but she would still never yield to Derek. No freaking way. Just as she was about to start thinking of some sort of jab to antagonize him, a signature Derek smirk made its way across his mouth.
"Respected and valued?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. She nodded, but stayed where she was. He chuckled to himself and stood up, walking over to her at what was probably a normal pace but to her it felt terribly slow. When he finally got to her, he cupped her face in his hands and stared down at her in a way that made her feel like she might actually melt.
"What are you-" she started to ask but he cut her off with a kiss that made her see stars. She moaned into his mouth and he took the opportunity to meet her tongue with his. He slid his hands from her face, down to her waist and pulled her closer to him, never breaking the kiss. She felt his warm hands slip under her shirt and reached her arms up over her head so he could take it off, which he did- eagerly.
He pulled back to look at her, his gaze burning a hole in her skin. She self consciously started to cross her arms to cover herself but he swiftly and gently took her hands in his so she couldn't, and lowered them to her sides. She was going to scold him, but he spoke first.
"You have no idea how many times I pictured this," he said, his voice cracking at the end.
"Pictured what?" she asked in a small voice.
"You. Like this. In my room," he murmured, kissing her softly. She sighed into the kiss and felt him smile.
"Every time you'd get home from a date," he whispered, kissing the corner of her mouth once, "I'd imagine you storming in here and saying it was a disaster," he kissed the other corner of her mouth.
"What?" she breathed out, a lust filled haze making it hard to concentrate. He nodded and kissed her again.
"You would say it went terribly. And I would pretend I didn't care, but really I would be thrilled. And I'd ask why," he continued, kissing down her neck to her collarbone. She gripped his shoulders to steady herself.
"And what would I say?" she gasped as his tongue swirled around one of her nipples.
"You would tell me it was because you couldn't stop thinking about me," he mumbled against her chest. She tangled her hands in his hair as he kissed his way from one breast to the other, letting his tongue run over her skin. She felt her heart skip a beat. There it was again, another one of those cryptic things he said that either meant he had feelings too…or that he was just really attracted to her. Which she knew he was.
"And then what?" she asked, arching into him as he pinched her other nipple between his teeth and sucked. He didn't answer her for a while, he was too busy using his mouth to make her gasp and bite back moans. He eventually stood back up straight and kissed her again, slowly walking her backwards. When her legs hit his desk chair, he pulled back to look into her eyes again.
"Sit," he said, voice low and husky.
"On the chair?" she asked, confused. He nodded and she obeyed, too caught up in him to even pretend she didn't want to do whatever he said. He bent down, getting on his knees and wheeled her in closer to him.
"Then I'd make a joke about how obsessed with me you were-" he said, smiling smugly at her. She gaped at him and he chuckled.
"Der-" she didn't get to finish snapping at him because he gripped the arms of the chair and kissed her hungrily. And normally she would have just yelled at him anyway but oh my God, he was too good of a kisser to yell at. She hated him. She really did.
She felt him tugging at her pants and lifted her hips so he could pull them off of her, which he did, expertly smooth. They were halfway down her legs before she realized her panties were coming down with them. If him staring at her before was daunting, this was something else entirely.
"What are you-" her question was cut off when he nimbly pulled both of her legs over his shoulders in one swift motion. He kissed her inner thigh and she didn't feel the need to finish the question. He continued kissing higher and higher until-
Her nerves suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks and she instinctively jerked her legs shut. He jumped slightly, taken aback, and looked up at her concerned.
"Sorry…kind of thought you knew where that was going…" he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. She bit her lip and took her legs down from his shoulders, awkwardly.
"I just um…I don't…um…" she tried to find the words to tell him that this was all fairly new to her and part of her still heard his insults in her head every time (all two of them) he was staring at her while she was naked and it was all just a lot.
"Case, it's okay," he said, his voice taking on the gentle tone he only used with her on special occasions. Which seemed to be becoming more frequent.
She couldn't look at him, she was mortified. The worst part was, she was uncomfortably wet because she very much had wanted him to…do what he was about to do. And now she'd ruined the mood and ugh…sex was so easy for other people. Why couldn't it be easy for her?
"Hey, look at me," he said quietly. She shook her head, now extremely aware that she was horny and naked and had just nearly broken his neck by shutting her legs and he was fully clothed and staring at her and oh my God she just wanted to disappear.
And then he had one hand on the side of her face and the other on her hip and he was kissing her cheek and smoothing down her hair and holy shit she didn't know how she could be feeling so many emotions at one time.
"It's okay," he repeated again, resting his head on her shoulder and kissing it softly. She felt her face grow hotter. With embarrassment, with want for him, and she felt a knot in her throat. Please don't cry, she thought to herself. Please don't.
"I just want to make you feel good," he whispered, breath tickling her flesh. She let out a whimper and threw her arms around him in an awkward hug. She expected him to make fun of her, for the teasing to start at any moment, but it didn't. Instead he just wrapped his arms around her, kissing her shoulder, her neck, and finally her lips, a slow lazy kiss, less urgent than the last.
Casey pulled away first, only because she needed to see his face. And when she did, it confirmed to her one thing: whether he wanted to admit it or not, he felt something for her. She didn't know what, but it was enough to push the worries and nerves out of her head.
"Can um…can I sit on the bed?" she asked shyly. He looked back at her, disoriented.
"I think…it'll be more comfortable…than the chair," she said, using all of her self control not to look away from him. He gave her a ghost of a smile, realizing what she meant and nodded. She got up and sat down on the edge of his bed. He didn't even bother getting off of his knees, just followed her over, placing his hands, ugh those hands, on either of her thighs and kissing her again. He didn't separate her legs, or move to do much of anything and after deepening their kiss, Casey couldn't take it anymore.
"I want you to," she breathed out when they had paused for air.
"Want me to what?" he asked, the smirk returning. She fumed. She'd just barely gotten past this…barrier and here he was trying to make her talk dirty.
"Do what you were going to do," she replied, rolling her eyes. Her eye roll only seemed to egg him on. His hands, which had been on top of her thighs, started making their way inward and instinctively, she laid back on her elbows.
"Which was what, exactly?" he asked, although he had slowly pushed her thighs apart, opening her up to him.
"Cut it out," she murmured, her voice getting drastically higher at the end as he began kissing her inner thigh again, letting his tongue work its way toward her center.
"Just asking what exactly it is you want," he replied innocently. She knew he was probably hoping for some elaborate and graphic dirty talk but she was still getting used to this and she was too tired to do their back and forth thing right now so she simply gazed down at where he was waiting with his head between her legs, eyes staring up at her.
"I want you to make me feel good," she said, her voice taking on a naturally sultry tone as she used his words.
"Yeah?" he asked, voice throaty. She nodded and he simpered back at her.
"Whatever you say, princess," he repeated. She was going to tell him that she'd kind of come to like him using one of his old insults in bed but instead she gasped sharply as his tongue lightly grazed over her clit.
"That okay?" he asked, although by the tone in his voice, she knew he knew it was more than okay.
"Yes," she breathed.
"Good," came his response, before he licked at her folds. She moaned and threw her head back, Derek disappearing from view and being replaced by the ceiling. He lapped at her clit again, his tongue caressing it with slightly more pressure than before, eliciting a louder moan. She'd had her own Derek-comes-home-from-a-date-and-tells-her-he-can't-stop-thinking-about-her-and-then-they-rip-each-other's-clothes-off fantasies, but this was better than she ever could have imagined.
"Derek," she breathed out, laying all the way back on the bed. He hmm'd against her and pulled her legs back over his shoulders, burying his tongue deeper into her. He opened his mouth wider and continued to tongue at her core, licking everywhere he possibly could and always making sure to go back to her most sensitive place, sucking at it lightly every time. Casey was in absolute ecstasy
His licking grew harder and hungrier, as if she was the best thing he had ever tasted in his entire life (little did she know she was). She felt her hips jerk up as his tongue stroked her favorite spot particularly heavily and his grip on her legs tightened. She could feel the beginnings of her orgasm rising as his rhythm picked up and he moaned against her.
"Cum for me, Princess," he whispered, his breath cool on her hot, drenched center. She groaned, his words only intensifying the overwhelming sea of pleasure she was floating in. How the fuck had he read her mind about the princess thing? He spoke quickly and his tongue was back on her clit, swirling and pressing faster than she knew a tongue could go.
He started to suck at her again and she came undone, orgasm racking her body and for the second time that night, Derek got her to see stars. He continued to lick at her while she came, but was far more gentle, tender even.
As Casey caught her breath, Derek rested his head against her thigh, pressing lazy kisses to the inside, before softly removing her legs from his shoulders.
"Oh my God," she breathed, as he climbed up onto the bed and layed down next to her.
"Thanks, not too shabby for a rookie, huh?" he asked. She thought she must have misheard.
"A rookie?" she asked.
"Yeah. Never done that before," he replied casually. She looked over at him to see if he was smiling, but it seemed like it wasn't a joke.
"You'd never done that before?" she asked, a little louder than she meant to. He hushed her.
"Nope," he said quietly.
"But you…you've been with so many girls-" Casey said shocked.
"Never felt the need," he replied, putting his hands behind his head and staring up at the ceiling.
"Derek, that's rude," Casey scolded but secretly she felt more triumphant than when Bernard had offered her the dance position.
"Don't ruin it, Case," he replied, softly teasing her. They laid side by side in silence for a moment.
"If you had never done that before, how'd you get so good?" Casey asked, skeptically. Okay…maybe she just wanted to hear him say she was the only girl he'd ever eaten out again.
"Natural talent I guess," she rolled her eyes but couldn't help but smile. Instinctively, she put a hand on his chest and cuddled up to him. He wrapped an arm around her and put his hand on top of hers. Thought Derek Venturi wasn't a cuddler. He's not.
"Plus…I've watched a lot of step sister porn," he added. She smacked him, and he cracked up laughing.
A/N: I am aware that the tenses shift at the beginning. I am very tired and may or may not edit it later, but will try not to let it happen again. Hope it wasn't too distracting and that y'all enjoyed more of simp Derek ;)