This is quite a long chapter, so feel free to make yourself a snack. I hope you enjoy
Chapter 4
Monday morning, and Tina awoke, and after dressing, went into the kitchen. Linda wasn't there, but Bob was standing aimlessly in front of the sink.
"Morning, Dad," she said, taking a seat.
"Morning," he said just as quietly, placing a bowl of cereal in front of her, with no milk. It seemed to be the only meal he could make. "Where's Gene?"
"Where's Mom?" was all Tina said in reply.
As if on cue, Linda entered the kitchen; there were dark circles under her eyes and she was holding Bakeneko.
"Tina, are you sure you wanna go to school today?" she asked, noticing Tina's backpack set beside her chair.
"Yeah; it might make everything seem normal," she replied. Linda only nodded.
Tina kept her eyes on her bowl as she heard Gene sit down beside her. Like her, he picked at his cereal. That was when Tina began to realise that something was really wrong; Gene never not ate. She didn't know what she could do, though. "Dad, are you gonna open the restaurant today?" she asked, already knowing the answer.
"No." Bob didn't see the point. How was he supposed to go downstairs and cook? Why should he be expected to do that? He didn't care about money, or paying rent, or anything. Nothing mattered any more.
Once at school, Tina clutched Gene's hand, and they walked through the halls together. Could she do this? Could she handle the constant questions and the pitying stares? She gave Gene a nervous look; she had no idea how he was going to fare, as he was still mute.
"Hey, T-Bird," came a quiet voice, and she looked up to see Zeke in front of her. Behind him were Tammy, Jocelyn, Jimmy Jr., and Regular-sized Rudy, along with a few others. She stared at him, not trusting herself to speak. "Mr Frond wants to see ya both."
She still didn't speak. "Do y'all want me to take ya there?" he asked, and Tina nodded after a moment. "All right, then," he nodded, and began walking next to them.
They walked in silence, Tina and Gene staring straight ahead, ignoring the other students, and Zeke glancing over at them every so often. At Frond's office, Zeke waited outside, while the Belcher siblings walked in.
"Morning," said Frond quietly, as Gene and Tina sat down. "I think you're both very brave for coming in today," he told them. "Just know, that you can come here whenever you need to; whether you want to talk or not. If you just want some privacy, feel free to come here."
"Okay," said Tina.
"The teachers all know, of course, and they will go easy on you. If things get too much, you also have Mr Ambrose's permission to go to library. And, if you really want, then we can send you home."
"Okay," Tina repeated.
"I'm going to speak to Louise's class after lunch; students from other grades are welcome to attend, but neither of you have to be there; it's completely up to you."
Tina nodded, and Mr Frond looked over at Gene. "Okay, Gene? This all applies to you, too." Gene, as per usual now, did not answer.
"He's.. okay," said Tina. "Just upset," and Frond nodded. Louise's locker had already been emptied before school started that morning, and the contents were now sitting in a box on Frond's desk. He planned to give them to the Belcher family when school was over. He had already phoned the parents, planning on expressing his condolences on behalf of the entire school, but no one had answered.
After, they left, Zeke escorted them both to their classes; Gene first, because he had different classes to the two of them.
In the classroom, Tina could feel eyes on her, but she alternated between staring straight ahead, and looking down at her workbook. She only spoke once, to answer for the morning register, but other than that, she remained silent.
Tina was able to spend the first few hours of school doing what she did every single day; trying to focus on the teacher, and trying to focus on her work. She wasn't very good at either, but it helped to take her mind off of Louise.
No matter what, she couldn't get up the interest in Jimmy Jr.'s butt; ordinarily, she wouldn't be able to keep her eyes off it, but she just didn't care any more.
Nobody questioned her about Louise, which she was grateful for, and she wondered how Gene was faring in his classes. Thinking about him being away from her when he was in this state, made her feel sick with worry.
Gene was... well, he looked at the teacher when she spoke. But that was it.
"Amy?"
"Here?"
"Jacqueline?"
"Here?"
"Gene?" When she did not get an answer his teacher looked up, and saw him sitting there, staring at her. "Gene?" Now, people were turning to look, whispering, but Gene didn't seem to see them. Knowing that he was understandably upset, she marked him as present, and continued with registration.
At break-time, Zeke once again accompanied Tina down the hall, but this time, Jimmy Jr. was hovering awkwardly behind them. Tina wanted him to talk to her, to say something, but she also didn't want him to speak.
Meeting up with Gene, the four of them headed into the playground.
Tina stood, looking at all the happy, playing kids. It wasn't fair! Louise should be one of those kids; she should be running around, yelling excitedly, but she wasn't. Tina clenched her fists, and shook her head slightly.
She was just about to turn around and head into the library, when Regular-sized Rudy came up to them.
"H-hi," he said awkwardly, and Tina finally found her tongue.
"Hi." They stood there in silence for a few moments until Rudy spoke again.
"So, uh... how are you feelin'?" he didn't know what else to say. Truthfully, he still felt a little bit lost; his best friend was dead.
"The way you would expect," replied Tina, in no mood to be polite.
"... I'm sorry," Rudy said finally.
"Thank you." They stood there silently again.
"I-is it all right if I come to the... the...?"
"Yes," said Tina and Rudy looked relieved. "And the reception, if you want. It's at our house."
"O-okay. Thanks," and he walked off, not knowing what else to do.
"Listen, Tina," said Zeke, stepping in front of them, and casting a worried glance over at Gene, "if y'all wanna go back inside, just say the word."
"I think we'll be fine," said Tina mechanically, sitting down against the wall.
"Well, if you're sure," Zeke didn't look too convinced as Gene slumped down next to her. "I'll be right over there," he gestured, "so if ya need me, just yell."
"Okay."
The rest of the day was a blur; Tina found that she couldn't actually concentrate on anything. Everything just seemed to go in one ear and out of the other. "I can't do this any more," she muttered to Gene in the hall after fourth period. "I'm going to the library, are you coming?" She didn't have to ask, and they both knew that, but she did, just to try and make things seem normal.
Not caring about skipping, only knowing that she couldn't take being in class any longer, Tina headed to the library, with Gene following.
They walked right past Mr Ambrose, and headed to the quiet study area at the back. Tina just needed somewhere quiet to think. Or not think. Or just sit. Whatever. Sinking into a chair, she pulled out her notebook, the one containing her little sister's funeral plans.
She didn't write in it, nor did she even open it; Tina just felt this need have it with her.
"All right, everyone," Mr Frond sat at the front of Louise's home room, looking at the members of her class. A few of the older kids were there, like Megan, Darryl, Alex Papasian, Zeke, and Jimmy Jr. Tammy, of course, couldn't care less, and Jocelyn dutifully went wherever Tammy went.
Frond had been working hard since Louise died; hers was the first student death he'd ever experienced, and he wanted to handle it properly. "I want to thank you all for continuing to come to school; I understand how hard it must be for you. The principal and I have talked it over, and we did discuss closing for a few days, but we've found that having a normal routine is the best thing to do." He looked around at the children. Many of them; Rudy, Zeke, the Pesto twins, looked very upset. He kept one eye on Millie, who was slumped over her desk, sobbing silently. If she got any worse, then he'd send her to the nurse.
"For those of you who were very close to Louise, if you ever feel like you feel you need to take a break, please do so; you can step out, have a drink of water, walk around, and that is perfectly fine. And of course, if you are feeling very overwhelmed and need to take a break from classes, I understand, but please let me know first.
"One important thing to remember is that everyone, no matter their age, or how well they knew Louise, will grieve differently, and that's okay. Remember to be kind with yourself and be patient and kind to others, as people experience this terrible news in very different ways.
"What I thought we'd do today is discuss ways we can remember Louise. Does anyone have any ideas?" Once again, he looked around. Everyone was quiet.
"Um, how about a memory book?" Regular-sized Rudy raised his hand, speaking quietly. "We could each write down our favourite memory of Louise, and then put it into a book?"
"That's a good idea," said Frond, and Harley nodded.
"Yeah, and we could put pictures and stuff in there," said Zeke.
"We could give it to her parents," Rudy finished.
"That's a really nice idea," said Frond. "I'm sure they'll appreciate it. We can definitely do that. Does anyone else have any ideas?" he scanned the room, but the other kids seemed reluctant to talk.
Millie raised a shaking hand. "Yes, Millie?"
"We could have -" Millie paused to wipe her face, "we could have a memorial garden."
Everyone turned to look, and she carried on, "A – a little bench, with flowers, and stuff like that. There could maybe some nice stones, and some little plants."
"That's really nice," Frond nodded, and so did many of the others. "We can start on the memory book later this week, and later, we'll need to think of some fundraising ideas for the garden, and we can all pitch in, and help plant the flowers."
"We could do car washes," said Harley.
"We'll worry about that later," Frond assured her. "For now, we just need to focus on supporting one another."
Rudy only nodded, wiping a tear from his face.
Tina and Gene were still in the library when the home bell rung. A few teachers had hovered over them here and there, asking if they were okay. To Tina's intense relief, they didn't stay long, and the siblings were mainly left alone, which was just what they wanted.
When they arrived home, she saw that Big Bob, Al, Gloria, and Gayle were there. Bob was crying again, and Tina walked over to him.
"Don't mind me," he sniffled. "It's just... we've just seen something that's really..." he gestured to the laptop, and Tina moved closer to it. On the screen was the Just Giving website, and it read "Louise Belcher Funeral Fund." She could see that there was over $150,000 on it already, and her jaw dropped.
"How – who – ?" Tina turned to her family. Bob opened his mouth, but was overcome by tears.
"When Louise was in the well," said Big Bob, "someone set up this fund, and it was supposed to pay for her hospital care. Now that.. that's changed, all the money that people donated will help pay for the funeral."
"Oh, that's a relief," Tina sagged and hugged her grandfather. "There's so much we need to do; we need to order flowers, a coffin, the headstone, we need to inscribe the headstone. We need to get food and drink and the priest, and the music." She knew she was babbling, but she couldn't help it; she felt like once everything had been arranged, she could relax a tiny bit. She had always been a somewhat organised and responsible person, and so she wanted – needed – to honour her sister's memory, which is why Louise had to have the perfect funeral.
"Hey, slow down," said Big Bob. "You don't have to worry about that; I'll take care of everything."
"Can I help?" asked Tina and Big Bob nodded; he could see that she felt she needed to do this, and he saw no harm in letting her help. Tina wanted to give her sister the send off she deserved, and he could understand that. "I need to speak to the priest," she said, "and see if he can do the funeral on Saturday."
"Okay. Before we start, I have something for you all. I wanted to wait until you two got home from school."
"What?" Tina asked, and Big Bob picked a small bag up off the floor. Inside were eight, small identical boxes, and he handed them out to everyone. Tina took hers and opened it. Resting inside the black velvet lining was a gold, heart-shaped locket.
"Open it," said Big Bob quietly, and they all did so. Tina gasped, and covered her mouth with her hand. Inside the locket was a small curl of Louise's hair. She reached out and delicately touched it.
"It's soft," she said quietly, not knowing why that upset her so. She pulled the necklace out of the case, and placed it around her neck, knowing that now Louise would be with her forever.
"I went out and got the lockets at the weekend, and on my way here, the funeral director stopped me, and gave me the hair."
"How long until the casts are ready?" asked Gayle, gently stroking her locket.
"Uh, he said it would be in a few days," said Big Bob. Gayle nodded, and he turned back to Tina. "Show me what you've got so far," said Big Bob and Tina pulled out her note book. Bob had left the room, an act which had not gone unnoticed.
"Well, I thought that we could... have the service inside the church, a-and a eulogy. I don't know who's going to do that yet. And with an open casket." Sniffles arose from all around her. "I don't know who will be pallbearers, either. Or where she'll be buried."
"Then why don't we start working on the stuff that can be done?" suggested Big Bob gently, noticing the ever increasing upset faces of his family.
"Okay. Well, I thought we could have roses everywhere, and have Louise's name spelt out in flowers. And have giant balloons, with everyone in black, and Louise's favourite songs being played."
"Okay, Well, we can do all of that," acknowledged Big Bob.
"And the reception will be held here, but I'm not too sure how it should go?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, should we have photos and videos of Louise? Should we tell nice stories about her?"
"I think that's a good idea. What do you think?" Big Bob directed this question at the rest of the family, all of whom nodded silently.
Tina sighed in relief, knowing that everything was going to be taken care of.
Now that talk of the funeral had halted, Bob came back into the room, now holding Louise's Mizuchi toy.
"I'm going back to the.. chapel of rest in a few minutes," he announced, surveying the room with his swollen, red eyes, and everybody said that they would come as well. Big Bob eyed his son nervously.
"Bob," he began. "What – what do you think the headstone should say?"
"... I don't know," said Bob after a very long pause.
"What about, 'Louise Belcher – always remembered, never forgotten'?" suggested Gayle.
"Or, 'Louise Belcher, sleeping with the angels'?" said Al. Bob opened his mouth but was cut off by the burger phone ringing, and he answered it.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Mr Belcher?"
"Yes. Who's this?" Bob didn't recognise the voice.
"Oh, this is Mrs Smith; you probably don't know me, but I'm the mother of Brad; he goes to Wagstaff. I just wanted to say how sorry I am about the loss of your daughter, and if there's anything I can do, just let me know."
Bob hung up and looked around.
"That was the mother of someone at Louise's school, telling me how sorry they were," he explained. "Tina, did you tell anyone?"
"No, but everyone knows," said the girl quietly.
"I wish they didn't," said Bob. He wasn't angry, he just couldn't bear the thought of everybody knowing that his daughter was dead. It made it more real, and he didn't want that. Then, the phone rang again. "Hello?"
"Hello, Mr Belcher, it's Mrs Powell. I just wanted to say how sorry I am. It's such a terrible thing to have happened..." Again, Bob hung up the phone.
"Why do all these people keep calli-" he was cut off by the phone ringing again. "Hello?"
"Hello, Mr Belcher, it's Mr Butler here. What a terrible ordeal for you; I'm so sorry. How are the family?" Once again, Bob. hung up. The phone rang again and Bob answered, hung up, and then left it open before sitting down, his eyes welling up. He'd cried so much over the past five days, it was a wonder how he wasn't dehydrated.
"Where's Mom?" asked Tina.
"Kitchen," Bob croaked.
"Is she coming, too?"
"Yes."
"Dad?" Tina began quietly. "Do – do you think you could perform the eulogy? At the funeral?" Bob looked as though he had been punched in the stomach.
"... I'll let you know," was all he found he could say. Bob truthfully didn't think he could handle giving the eulogy. It would just be too hard. How was he supposed to sum up the life of his youngest child in five minutes? Even a year's worth of talking would be insufficient, he thought. He had already known he would end up being a pallbearer, and with every passing day Bob wondered how he was going to get through that; carrying the coffin in which his dead daughter resided.
Almost selfishly, Bob didn't want to give the eulogy because he would be too upset. 'Upset' didn't even begin to cover what he was feeling.
Deep down, Bob knew that he should do this, to give his baby the send-off she deserved, but he couldn't. He just couldn't. Linda couldn't do it either, that he knew for certain. He couldn't imagine anyone in the Belcher family having the strength to do it, so with a heavy heart, Bob decided that he would have to ask the priest to do it.
Bob felt really guilty at his decision; he knew Tina would be upset and he would try to explain it to her; he couldn't do it, he physically couldn't do it.
Linda entered the room, wine bottle glued to her hand. She hugged Tina and Gene, her arms a bit floppy and heavy.
"How was school?" she asked, slurring slightly.
"Fine," was all Tina said, her voice low.
"Gene? You all right, there?" said Big Bob, for Gene was hunched over the table, and they all turned to look. Again, Bob was hit with a pang of guilt; he just wasn't used to Gene being quiet. Without his son making a load of noise, Bob didn't even notice him, and he felt horrible for that.
Without saying a word, Gene straightened up, revealing that he had been writing something, and he pushed the paper towards his family. Already, Tina felt like her insides were twisting; Gene was doing stuff independently, maybe now he would be okay. She, along with the others, leaned forward to read the paper. On it was a simple rhyme:
'Your presence we miss
Your memories we treasure
Loving you always
Forgetting you never.'
"Is that for the headstone?" asked Big Bob. Gene didn't nod, and only looked back down at the paper. "It's beautiful," the elderly man sniffled.
"It's really nice," confirmed Gayle.
"Yeah, that's what we'll put," Bob choked, standing up. "Come on, let's go."
The rest of his family followed suite, and they headed to the funeral home.
Against, her better judgement, Cynthia put on her coat, picked up her bag, and left the house to do some shopping. She had no choice; Tom was at work, she couldn't let Logan go, and the store wasn't able to do a delivery. It would just be a quick stop, and she would drive there and back, thereby decreasing the chances of any unwanted incidents.
Once at the supermarket, she did her best to keep a low profile as she pushed her trolley through the aisles. Nobody seemed to give her a passing glance; she was just another shopper, going about her business.
"Bitch."
Cynthia looked up to see a young woman staring at her, hatred all over her face.
"What?" She gripped the handle of the trolley.
"I said you're a bitch. What kind of mother are you?"
Cynthia could only stare as who she assumed to be the woman's friends surrounded her, trying to lead her away. Cynthia assumed they were all part of the same friendship group, and most likely single mothers, due to their ill-fitting, cheap clothing, and the messy hair, and make-up free faces. "You are absolutely disgusting!" she spat with such venom that poison practically emitted from her mouth.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. You're a terrible person, and you're a terrible parent! What kind of mother are you?!"
"What are you talking about?" Cynthia had a hint of anger in her voice; she was tired, but she still had some fight left in her. She knew exactly what this was about.
"You and that little brat of yours! What the hell is wrong with you?! That little girl is dead because of you!"
"I -" Cynthia shook her head, the fight draining out of her, as the little group left; all of them seemed to be glaring at her. "It wasn't my fault," she finished. Her hands shaking, she tried to continue shopping.
"You and your son are disgusting human beings, and I hope you both get what's coming to you!" came the woman's voice from the end of the aisle. Cynthia gripped the trolley even harder, willing her legs to stop shaking. She really needed a drink.
Thankfully, the rest of her trip went without incident, and Cynthia paid for her items, and carried her bags out to the car.
"Excuse me?"
Cynthia turned around, and saw a woman, a different one, standing behind her.
"Yes?"
The woman said nothing said nothing, and spat in Cynthia's face, before walking off. Cynthia could only stand there, too shocked to do anything, saliva dripping down her face. She reached up a trembling hand and wiped it off, dashing to the safety of her car. She got in, locking all of the doors, as a few tears rolled down her cheeks. Was nowhere safe? Was she now supposed to make shopping trips in the dead of night, like some kind of fugitive?
She wiped her face a final time, checking her reflection in the rear-view mirror, before starting the car, and heading to the police station.
"Good afternoon, ma'am, how can we help you?" asked the receptionist.
"I've been assaulted; I wanna report it," said Cynthia, straightening up.
Soon enough, she found herself in a little room, with two police officers, trying to describe the women. "They looked kind of cheap," she said. "I know that sounds bad, but I can't think of any other way to describe them. They were all pretty much wearing the same things; oversized sweaters; one of them was wearing a baggy T-shirt, and they were wearing either loose-fitting jeans, leggings, or sweatpants. The leader, the one who said those horrible things, had light brown hair, and the others were mainly brown haired, with two blondes," she explained.
"Okay, and the woman who spat on you? What did she look like?"
"Um, she was wearing a white shirt, patterned with roses, and black skinny jeans. She was carrying a black leather handbag. She had brown hair in a ponytail."
"Right," said one of the officers, writing it all down. "Do you have any idea why they targeted you?"
Cynthia stiffened and pursed her lips.
"I'm surprised you don't know," she said, her tone cold. "My son is Logan Bush. People are angry at us because Louise Belcher is dead, and they're taking it out on me! My son can't leave the house, and I probably won't be able to, now, either! So, I'd like to know what you're going to do."
"We'll go to the store in question, and see if we can take a look at the CCTV, and ask the staff, see if they saw anything."
"Well, what about me? What about my family? Are we expected to just live with this?"
"Ma'am, we're going to look into it, and if we find the perpetrators -"
"What if you don't? What if this just keeps going on and on?"
"Ma'am -"
"Yesterday, my home was vandalised again! Today, I was assaulted! What do I need to get protection from you?"
"We are going to look into it," said the officer evenly.
"But I want to know what you're going to do! I shouldn't have to be afraid to leave my home! Isn't there someone here who can accompany me, like a bodyguard?"
"Afraid not, ma'am," said officer Daniels.
"Well, can't one of you do it?"
"Well, we don't do things like that, because we don't have the resources for it."
"You two aren't doing anything," she pointed out.
"Ma'am, we are always working," officer Daniels said calmly, "and after this, we have cases to work on."
"Oh, come on! This is a tiny, little town! What case could you possibly be working on?!"
"We're not able to reveal that," he said. "But, if you're truly concerned for your safety, and the safety of your family, you could either get a Protection from Harassment Act. Harassment is a criminal offence, and so, if you're targeted again, you can press charges against the person or persons."
"... That's it? That's all you have to offer me?"
"Well, ma'am, if you really want someone to accompany you when you go out, then your best bet would be to hire someone who can perform that service."
Cynthia just sat there, staring at them.
"Fine, I'll figure something out," she said, standing and gathering her things. "Thank you for your time(!)" she snarled before marching out.
When the Belchers arrived home, Tina went straight to her room, naturally followed by Gene.
Once in her room, she opened up the laptop, her notebook beside her. Both Tina and Gene remained silent as she ordered several, large helium balloons, some heart-shaped, and some Kuchi Kopi shaped, off of e-Buy, after checking the online stock of the local party store, of which there were none. As Bob and Linda weren't in the best state of mind, Big Bob had taken over the fundraiser. It wasn't that he didn't trust them; it was simply because if he had to leave it to them, then nothing would get done. Big Bob didn't blame them; he couldn't, but he couldn't let Louise not have a funeral, and he couldn't let Tina do everything by herself.
So, he'd given his passwords to Tina, and told her to order whatever she wanted for the funeral. Tina ordered a few more sets of the balloons, before crossing them off of her list.
Now that the balloons had been ordered, Tina got to work making a playlist for the funeral. It was still so difficult; no song seemed to be good enough. She couldn't find any that were able to sum up their feelings, to sum up Louise.
For the reception, she had Louise's favourite songs, on a different playlist. Mainly the Boyz 4 Now ballads, and some slow songs by that Japanese singer Louise liked, but never told anyone about (Louise wasn't as good with her browsing history as she liked to think). Tina didn't understand what any of the Japanese songs were about, but she was sure that Louise appreciated the effort and the sentiment.
Tina realised that nobody would really be paying attention to the reception music, and so she added more songs, "You Raise Me Up," "To Where You Are," "Angel," "Tears in Heaven," and other similar works.
For the actual funeral, she was still struggling; she had to pick the perfect songs, but it was so hard. She now knew, due to her research, that only two songs were needed; one as everyone entered, and another as they left.
Eventually, she decided on Boyz 4 Now's "Whisper in your Eyes," for the first, and their song "Every Single Time You Cried," for when they left. Tina felt that they were appropriate enough.
So, that hurdle had been passed, but now she had to decide on what song was going to play while Louise was.. being buried, and so she began typing once again. She looked and looked and looked, before she found the perfect song. Simply titled "Gone Too Soon," Tina skimmed over the lyrics, before a lump formed in her throat, and she had to look away. That was the one.
Tina crossed 'music' off her list, as she burned a copy of her playlists to some blank discs. The first disc would be used for the church and burial services and the other one would be used for the reception.
All that was left to be done was to finalise who would deliver the eulogy, get someone to make the food, and get the photos and videos for the reception.
There were numerous photos and videos of Louise that she could use around the house; all of the family's home videos had been converted to DVD's when they could no longer record on their old video camera; Linda had had them converted so she still had the memories. Tina was going to make a tribute video, but she needed to wait a day or two, until she was able to actually look at the videos without wanting to destroy something.
Feeling drained, Tina closed her laptop, crawled onto her bed, where Gene was curled up, and fell into a deep sleep.
She awoke the next morning and ventured downstairs to find that Al, Gloria, and Gayle had gone home. Bob, Linda and Big Bob were in the living-room, and there was a box resting on the sofa. Moving forward, Tina could see that it was full of Louise's locker contents, along with her school books, and Bob was rifling through it. Reaching into the box, Tina picked up Louise's English book and flipped through it. The wobbly cursive made her heart ache. Apart from the half-hearted attempts at school work, the pages were mainly filled with random doodles of Kuchi Kopi, along with other Japanese characters she didn't recognise. There were doodles of Mr Frond being eaten by various animals, and a little drawing of Louise as the Ruler of the World with people bowing down to her.
"Mr Frond dropped that by last night," said Linda, who was sitting in the chair, holding Louise's secret supply of candy that she'd kept hidden in her locker. Tina remembered that Louise would sometimes sell it in order to make some money.
"Oh," was all Tina said. She turned her attention back to the workbook, and continued looking through it.
"Huh." Linda picked up Louise's spare lock-picking kit; the one she kept at school for 'emergencies', AKA, breaking into the principal's office, and other shenanigans. "Didn't know she kept some of these at school."
"Me neither," Tina said, placing the book back in the box. "Dad?" she said, after a few moments of silence. "Did you think about it?" She was referring to the eulogy, but he didn't need to ask that, and he turned to face her.
"I have. I thought long and hard about this, and I've decided that I can't do it. The priest will do it; I called and asked."
Tina looked crestfallen; that wasn't the answer she had been expecting at all.
"But, Dad, it's for Louise," her eyes filled with tears.
"I know, honey, but I just can't do it; it's too hard." Bob was close to tears, as well.
"Dad, I..." was all Tina managed.
"Tina, I'm sorry, I can't do it, I physically can't!" He wrapped her in his arms and cried. Tina didn't cry; she hadn't been able to since Louise died, and she didn't know why. She was definitely upset enough, but the tears just wouldn't come out, and she couldn't understand it.
Gene had cried, several times; Tina could hear him, curled up together in bed, late at night, when he thought no one was awake. He never seemed to notice the comforting hand she placed on his arm, but last night, he'd accepted her hug.
"It's okay," she said monotonously. "It's okay if you can't."
Bob let go of her, wiping his face, as Gene entered the room, still silent.
"All right, Tina," Bob sniffed, and wiped his nose on the back of his hand. "You two better get off to school."
"Okay," said Tina, not wanting to mention that they hadn't eaten breakfast yet. "We'll just brush our teeth."
"I put lunches on the kitchen – I mean, in the counter," Linda, whose face was buried in the arm of the chair, waved vaguely in the right direction.
"Right," said Tina, "well.. bye, then."
"Bye," said Bob.
"Gene? I got a few things to do after school, are you coming?"
Gene only stared ahead. "You can go on home if you want, but I've got these things to do. If you're coming, just nod." To her great relief, he nodded. Hopefully, he would start speaking again soon. They were both carrying brown paper bags, and Tina opened hers up. Inside was a few slices of cheese, half a cookie, a handful of pretzels, and a lettuce leaf. Taking Gene's bag, she saw that his lunch was the same, and she bit her lip worriedly. "Well, I guess we can eat the school lunch," she said, as they continued walking, fingering the locket around her neck. The rest of her family were wearing theirs, as well. Tina would never, ever take it off; it gave her a bit of comfort knowing that Louise would always be with her.
Once at school, they stuck together as they wandered the halls before class. Tina was just wondering if Mr Frond would allow her and Gene to share classes; not because she didn't want to be apart from him; she wanted to stay with him. She just didn't like the idea of Gene being on his own, and he seemed to respond better to her, and others, when they were together.
As they walked through the corridor, she continued to contemplate this, and she believed that it was a good idea; it would help them both a lot. Tina had made up her mind to go and see Mr Frond about it during break, when a girl stopped her, snapping her from her musings.
"Hey, Tina," she smiled chirpily.
"Um, hi?" Tina tilted her head, not recognising the girl, who looked to be about her age. She had the same irritating vocal inflection as Tammy and Jocelyn.
"So, I just wanted to, like, say sorry, about, like, Louise, and that," she said, her hands fingering her phone.
"Thanks," Tina muttered.
"How did she die?" the girl asked, and Tina stared at her.
"What?"
"How did she die, how did Louise die?" the girl repeated. "No one's been able to find out, and I'm just curious, you know?"
"I – I..." Tina felt her heart quicken, and she glanced over at Gene helplessly. Her palms grew sweaty, and she wanted desperately to scream or cry, or both.
"Hey, enough of that! Buzz off; go on, get!"
Tina drooped with relief as Zeke came up to them, looking at the girl with disgust. The girl threw him a confused look, before walking off. "Hey, I'm sorry 'bout that, T-Bird," he said sincerely, turning to face them.
"It's okay; thanks."
"Nah; I shoulda been there. Don't worry; I'll make sure no one else bothers ya."
"Thanks," Tina whispered.
"Logan!" Cynthia called, making herself comfortable on the sofa. "I'm in the living-room!" she added, after hearing his footsteps.
"What is it?" he asked, appearing in the doorway.
"Sit down," she gestured to the sofa, and he did so, looking at her curiously. "There's something I need to tell you." She had been trying to gather up the courage since the previous day; she didn't want to scare him. "There's – people have been sending us threatening letters," she said, and his jaw dropped.
"What?"
"Letters, threatening us, threatening you; warning you not to go outside. You know the house has been vandalised twice now?" she asked, and he nodded, his eyes wide. "They're angry because Louise is dead. I've spoken to the police, and they've told me it's not the Belchers; they have alibis, and witnesses. So, I don't know who's doing this. Yesterday, at the store, a group of women insulted me, and another one spat in my face."
"But what are the police doing? What are they gonna do?"
"They're gonna try and find the women. They've got the letters, and they're just going to try and find them. And when they do..." Cynthia trailed off. "I don't really know," she admitted, "the police told me that we could get some kind of harassment order, but it won't do any good, will it?"
"It won't stop vandals," he realised, and Cynthia nodded.
"Right; so that's why I bought some security cameras yesterday. I've already called someone out to install them. They hook up to your phone or laptop, so we can see who's doing it."
"Okay," said Logan. "What about.. everything else?"
"What do you mean? I've told you everything."
"You said that everyone is mad because Louise is dead. Well, what if they get madder? What if they break in?"
"They won't do that," said Cynthia confidently.
"How do you know?" he pouted, looking younger than his fifteen years. "They think it's my fault! What if people break in and attack me?!"
"That's why I got the cameras; so if anyone tries, we'll call the police. Look," she sighed, "people are just upset right now, and pretty soon, this'll all blow over."
"How long until it does?"
"Well, I heard that her funeral is this Saturday, so you can go back to school on Monday."
"Are – are we going to that?" Logan looked down at his lap, fiddling with his hands.
"Why should we?" Cynthia hesitated. "Do you want to go?"
"No; I don't wanna see that. Funerals are weird; they freak me out," he admitted.
"All right, then. I think it will be best for everyone if you stayed here until Monday."
"So, I have to stay inside for six more days? I'm bored; I hate being inside!" he whined.
"You could always clean that pigsty you call a room," she suggested, folding her arms.
"It's fine!" Logan pulled a face. "It's just – I remember what it was like in school, when she was in the well. The way they looked at me, and talked to me. Now she's dead, and they're gonna be even worse, I know it!"
"You'll be fine."
"I don't wanna go back!"
"You have to; you can't not go to school. What do you expect to do?"
"Homeschool?" he suggested, but Cynthia shook her head.
"I don't have the time to find you a private tutor," she said. "I need to make sure this family stays safe."
"Well, I can't stay safe if I have to go outside!" Logan retorted. "I can't go back; everyone hates me!" He folded his arms, as well, looking the spitting image of his mother.
"Everyone hates me, too!" Cynthia snapped. "They don't just think it's your fault; they think it's mine, as well!"
"Why should they hate you? You didn't push her!"
"They hate me because I'm your mother; therefore, I'm just as bad," said Cynthia.
"But it's not my fault. Right? If they'd gotten to her in time, she'd be alive. They can't blame me for that."
"I understand what you mean, and no, it's not your fault," she assured him. "Listen, you're going back to school on Monday, even if I have to drag you there myself!"
"Why should I have to go, when I'm only gonna get beaten up?" Logan gestured wildly, before slamming his hand down onto his knee.
"You won't. I'll speak to your principal," she said, but Logan shook his head. She really didn't get it.
"You said you wouldn't expect me to go back; why have you changed your mind?"
"You're fifteen; you have important exams to study for. The best thing to do is just carry on with our lives."
"But we can't! We're getting attacked! What do we do about that?"
"We have cameras, and I'm going to get that order. I need someone to be with me whenever I leave the house, so I'll look into that."
"A bodyguard?" Logan raised an eyebrow.
"If you wanna call it that. Face it; there a some people out there who want to hurt us, and we should take steps to prevent that."
After school, Zeke saw Tina and Gene to the end of the street, making sure no one bothered them. Mr Frond had been sympathetic when Tina had spoken to him earlier, and had promised to think about the siblings sharing classes.
"Y'all... if y'all need anything, just call me," he said, pulling Tina into a hug, and then Gene.
"We will," said Tina mechanically.
"I mean it; night or day; even if ya just wanna talk; gimme a call."
"Thanks," Tina said, before she and Gene turned around and began walking. Zeke watched them go, his heart heavy.
It was hard, the hardest thing Tina had ever done, planning her sister's funeral, but keeping busy numbed the pain slightly. Only slightly.
As they approached St, Peter's Cathedral, they made a right turn and entered the sacred building. It truly was a beautiful place, a place that felt very peaceful. Tina and Gene walked up the central aisle, and Tina couldn't help but look around in wonder. High, arched ceilings, stone columns, stained glass windows, and wooden pews and soft lighting that made the place look warm and inviting. If she wasn't here for such a terrible reason, she would be in awe at the sheer beauty of the building.
She couldn't see the reverend, but she could hear music playing in one of the back rooms, so she followed the sound, Gene behind her.
She found the somewhat elderly man writing in a notepad, with some easy-listening music playing on the radio. Tina quietly knocked on the door, causing him to look up. He wasn't wearing the collar, nor a long, flowing robe, and it felt weird to Tina, who couldn't picture a priest wearing anything but.
"Yes? What can I do for you?" he asked. Reverend Brooks recognised her face from the news reports, and he was sure he could guess what she was there for.
Tina hesitated and just decided to say it outright.
"C-can you perform a church service and funeral for Saturday the 9th?"
Brooks stared at her, trying not to let the sadness he felt show on his face.
"Yes, of course we can," he said.
"It's for my sister's funeral. Will you do it?" Her voice was dull and monotonous.
"Of course I will," he said sincerely. "Do you know how you want it to go?"
Tina nodded and pulled out her notebook.
"It's all in here," she said with a watery smile. "Thank you, Reverend. I have to go now."
Brooks stared after the girl as she left, allowing a look of sorrow to cross his face.
As they arrived home, Tina sighed as she realised that, once again, planning a funeral was going to be harder than she thought. 'As if it wasn't already hard enough,' she thought miserably. She wanted to give Louise a funeral to be proud of, but sometimes, she didn't feel like it was going to happen.
Bob, Linda, and Big Bob were still there, sat together in the living-room.
"Kids, you're late," said Bob.
"We went to the church," Tina mumbled. "The priest said he'll do the.. service."
"Okay," they nodded.
"I guess we should get going, then," said Bob, standing up.
"We need to..." Tina stopped, and everyone turned to look at her. "We should pick out a – a coffin, and a headstone, and – and somewhere where she'll be.. buried," she whispered the final word.
"Do we – can't that wait?" Bob looked as though he was in physical pain.
"It's on Saturday; we've got four days," said Big Bob gently. "It's best to do it now, and get it out of the way."
Bob only nodded, and allowed himself to be led out of the apartment.
Mort greeted them at the door, as per usual.
"We need to get some stuff," said Tina quietly. Mort stared down at her, before realising what she meant.
"Of course," he said, "come with me."
"We need a headstone," she added needlessly, and Mort nodded, and led them through the house.
Mort's place was a lot bigger than it looked, Tina thought, as they were taken down a long corridor, down another corridor, and walked through a comfortable looking waiting room. She had her notebook on hand, just in case.
Mort led them into a little, cosy room with a computer, where he sat, while the others sat around him. "Do you know what kind of headstone you want?" he asked, and they shook their heads.
"There are different kinds?" asked Gayle, and Mort nodded.
"The most popular is a lawn memorial," he explained. "It's a simple headstone, with a little shelf on the bottom to hold flowers. Then there is a kerbed memorial; very similar, except the shelf extends to cover the entire grave. There are also shaped ones for children," he finished, pulling some pictures up to show them.
The headstones for children came in many sizes, and had characters featured on them, like teddy bears, and elephants. There were also ones engraved with hearts, stars, and castles.
"None of them seem right!" said Linda, covering her face. The rest of the family had to agree with her; none of them seemed special enough for their little Louise.
"Can we – can we have that's shaped normal, but with bunny ears on top?" asked Bob. "Like, I don't mean, like, engraved, but like her hat? Carved, on top of it? So they stick up?"
Linda gasped, as did Tina; it was perfect.
"Of course; that's no problem," said Mort.
"And can it be pink?"
"Of course," Mort repeated. "Do you know what you want it to say?"
"Yeah," Bob sniffled, and pulled Gene's poem out of his pocket, handing it to Mort.
"That's really nice," he said quietly. "Is that all?"
"'Beloved sister and daughter," said Linda, and Mort nodded.
"And do you want her full name, or just her first and last name?"
"Full name," Bob rasped. It just felt right.
"Okay," Mort was typing away, before turning the screen to face them. "I've got name, beloved sister and daughter, date of birth and.. and then after that, the poem. How is that for you?"
"I like it," said Tina, and the Belchers nodded.
"Yeah, it's nice," said Linda.
"Can I just add one thing?" asked Big Bob. "At the bottom, can we put 'a little girl who brought the world together'?"
They all stared at him.
"That's so sweet," whispered Linda.
"Well, she did," said Big Bob. "If you could have seen it; there was so much love and support out there, stuff that you never even saw. I had people coming into my restaurant, shaking with worry. People were just nicer to each other, because they were so concerned over Louise. It was like everyone forgot their own problems. I've never seen a community pull together like that," he finished, wiping away a tear.
"That's.. that's just so touching," said Al. "We need to have that."
After selecting the exact shade of pink, they were shown a mock up of what the lawn memorial headstone would look like, the inscription was made final and Big Bob paid for it.
Next, they had the draining task of picking out a coffin. The group was silent as they walked amongst the models, Mort describing describing them all. Again, none of them seemed good enough, and the small size of the caskets made Tina want to vomit.
Eventually, a beautiful, tiny, pink oak coffin edged with gold and lined with white satin was chosen for Louise.
Mort really did have everything, Tina thought, as they went to yet another room to choose flowers.
"I think we should have roses," she said. "They mean love."
"Okay," said Mort. "What colours would you like?"
"Pink," said Linda. "And red, and white. Do you have green?"
"I don't have any here, but I can order them for you," Mort said, and Linda nodded.
"And, and her name spelt out in pink and white flowers," said Bob.
"Do you have a flower preference? We usually use chrysanthemums," said Mort.
"Yeah; those." Bob didn't know what chrysanthemums were, but whatever it took for this to be over.
Several big bouquets and wreaths of roses in red, pink, green, and white were then ordered, and four lots of the funeral flower lettering were ordered.
"Okay, everything's all been ordered, and it'll all be ready and set up before you get to the church," Mort said. "I hate to ask, but they've been calling non-stop – do you want the media there?"
"What?" Bob looked confused.
"The press; they've been asking if they can film it, and I said I would ask you, and let them know."
"I don't care," Bob said honestly.
"Not inside the church," said Linda. It felt wrong to have reporters filming and photographing the worst moment of their lives.
"Not a problem; I will let them know. Oh, uh," he paused slightly. "They want to know the cause of death. Do you want me to tell them?"
"I don't care," Bob repeated, and Linda gave a half-shrug, half nod movement.
"They'll probably find out eventually," said Gayle, "it might be easier to tell them; at least that way, the kids won't get bothered at school."
Big Bob nodded his consent.
"Okay," said Mort. "If it's okay with you, I have something to ask."
"What?" asked Big Bob.
"People from all over America have been sending flowers; do you want them to be part of the procession?"
"That's so sweet," Linda wiped her eyes. "Yeah, that'll be fine."
"Okay, if you wanted, I could get two extra hearses; there's a lot of flowers."
"Okay," Linda nodded, wiping her eyes again.
"Would you like a hearse to transport Louise?" Mort asked gently.
"A hearse?" Linda repeated, like she wasn't sure what he meant.
"If you want a hearse, that'll be fine."
"I don't want a hearse," she muttered, "I want my baby back. But, no, carriage. A carriage."
"A horse drawn carriage?" Mort confirmed, and Linda nodded.
"White," she said, "with white horses." If she really had to go through with this, with burying her child, then she was going to make sure Louise had the best of the best.
"Okay, that can be arranged."
Once everything had been reserved and paid for, the family travelled over to the cemetery to pick out a burial plot. Even though it wasn't technically part of his job, Mort accompanied them. He knew quite a bit about cemeteries, and thought that he could make it at least a little bit easier for the family.
Like most people, Tina had never liked cemeteries; she always felt as though she shouldn't be there, like she was trespassing.
Mort led the distraught, silent family through Sacred Heart Cemetery, showing them several empty plots. "So, this is another one," he said, standing back to allow them to observe another plot. It all looked the same to Tina, just the same grass in different places. "It gets good sunlight, so the flowers will grow, and there's no trees nearby, so no chance of any bird fouling."
"Right," Bob whispered. God, he needed a drink.
"This one," said Linda, a little while later. They were in the middle of the cemetery, and they were looking at a plot that was next to several other empty plots. Big Bob purchased the plot, and for a moment, they remained there, staring at that patch of grass, knowing what it represented. Tina clenched her hands together. Could they really do this?
"That was nice of people to send flowers," she said in the car, on the way home. She needed to do something to break up the awful silence. She didn't know how much longer she could stand it.
"It was," Big Bob agreed. "I can't believe that flowers have come from all around the world."
"Did that many people know about it?" 'Please keep talking, about anything,' Tina thought.
"Yeah; it was all over the Internet; anyone could watch and find out about it."
"Wonders of the Internet, huh?"
When they arrived home, Tina turned on the television, unable to stand it any longer. She made sure to put the kids' channel on, therefore eliminating any chance of seeing anything potentially upsetting on the news.
The dialogue of the children's show did a great job of dulling the silence, the silence that seemed to be so loud it was deafening. That was what they needed; they needed some noise.
The family gathered in the living-room, all of them looking pale and ill. Gayle had her head down, and she was gripping her hair. Al and Gloria were holding one another tightly, and Big Bob was sat in the chair, looking drained.
"I need a drink," Linda was already heading into the kitchen as she spoke, and came back with another bottle of wine. She would have to get more soon, as she was running low.
"Linda," said Big Bob gently, "you've already had one bottle today..."
"And now I'm having another," Linda popped the cork, and began drinking straight from the bottle. Big Bob looked at her, but said nothing. She was grieving; he had to not overstep. She would be fine, as would his son and grandchildren. He hoped.
Bob again stared at the bottle. He couldn't understand why he had not touched a drop of alcohol yet; he definitely needed it. But something was stopping him, and he couldn't figure out what.
Tina, along with Gene, had slipped away, and retreated to her bedroom. She would have liked to stay with her family, but she had work to do.
A pile of DVDs were on her desk and she inserted one into the disc drive of the laptop. She was making a video tribute for the reception.
One of the videos was of her, Gene and Louise having a water fight in the alley that summer. Tina smiled at the memory as she watched the video; her and her siblings, all in their swimsuits, were chasing each other around the alley; all of them with water guns. Louise had just succeeded in aiming a stream of water at the back of Gene's head and he began chasing her. Louise, realising that Gene was no longer behind her, stopped. Gene appeared as if from nowhere, spraying Louise in the face, causing her to scream.
Tina's mouth twitched at the sight and put the clip in the video. She had already decided that it was going to be a montage of Louise's life, from when she was born to when she died. The first clip in the video was Louise's first birthday; she was sat in front of a large cake with a single candle as Bob and Linda, who were sat next to her, sang "Happy Birthday." Tina's younger self and Gene were just in frame, and Gene was excitedly bashing a saucepan with a wooden spoon. Baby Louise wasn't wearing a hat, which was so weird to see. Tina stared at the video, watching her sister's short black curls bouncing away.
Louise was squirming excitedly and kept trying to blow the candle out, but she couldn't manage it. Finally, Linda blew it out for her and Louise instantly dove head first into the sticky chocolate cake, babbling happily.
The next clip was her second Christmas; baby Louise, just over a year old was sat in the middle of the living-room, surrounded by presents, not knowing what to do. In the next scene, she had just unwrapped a stuffed dog that was bigger than she was; she pulled it out of the box, fell backwards and the toy fell on top of her.
Tina didn't put in Louise's first Christmas, as she was barely one month old, and didn't do anything except stare at the Christmas lights; it was cute, but Tina felt the other video had a bit more of Louise's personality.
In the next clip, Louise was six, Gene was eight, and Tina was ten, and they were outside in the alley one cold Autumn night, in their warm coats and hats, toasting marshmallows and hot dogs over a small bonfire. Tina didn't remember how they had coaxed Bob into it, but she remembered how fun that night was.
There was a small chair with a plate of hot dog buns and some ketchup. Bob was standing behind the fire, the flames giving him an eerie glow, and Linda was supervising the kids, keeping Louise a safe distance from the fire, and helping them all to toast their snacks properly. Louise was toasting a marshmallow and stuck it right into the flames, setting it alight. She pulled out the flaming snack and blew it out like a candle, examining the now blackened treat.
"Louise! Are you okay?" Linda ran over to her daughter and checked her over.
"Yeah, I'm fine," and Tina started at the sound of Louise's voice; she would never hear her speak again. She chanced a glance over at Gene, who was watching the video, his face blank, but eyes full of sadness.
In the video, Bob peeled off the blackened outside of the marshmallow and Louise ate the rest of it, remarking, with her mouth full, how "sticky and melty" it was.
Wait, now Tina remembered why they'd had that impromptu bonfire; the power had unexpectedly gone out. Not just for them, but for everyone on Ocean Avenue. Rather than sit and brood as Bob was content to do, Linda had suggested the idea, and Bob had been outnumbered. It had definitely been a memorable night, and even Bob had ended up enjoying himself.
Tina found many more videos on the DVDs and soon had made half of the tribute video. As it was getting late, she decided to finish the video the next day. She was glad the week was almost over; at least there was no school on the weekend; she was extremely glad about that.
But on the other hand, she never wanted this weekend to come, because that meant getting closer to saying goodbye to Louise forever, and she wasn't ready for that. She would never be ready.
~ X ~