It began on the training grounds. Miche Zacharias made some cutting comment about Levi stinking of underground still.

Levi wasn't sure why this particular jab rubbed so raw—after months of training and outshining even the most hardened veteran Scouts, many still looked at him like a piece of shit on their boot.

Maybe it was the implication that he stank—he most certainly did not—or the way his comment was worded to include Levi's dead friends, too. Can't get that stink out of my nose. Underground rats carry it on them like a plague.

Without conscious thought, Levi's blades were in his hands, clenched to the point of pain.

And then hands were on his shoulders, clamping him into place.

It wouldn't have been enough to hold him, except—

"Stop."

Levi felt his expression harden into stone.

The captain's long fingers dug into his skin, thumbs almost meeting across the back of his neck.

"Where is that sound judgment of yours?" Erwin's voice was startlingly close, breath washing hot and horrible over his ear. "What good will a fight do you now."

It would rid him of the violence brewing, burning through his insides.

No, it wasn't rational. It wouldn't help him in any way. Some small, clear-headed corner of his mind still recognized that.

He just didn't care.

"Let go."

"I said stop." Like his word would be enough. Like nothing else was needed.

"I'm not your trained hound."

"Certainly not. I would never do such a poor job of training."

Levi swung his blade around, the flat-yet-deadly end headed for Erwin's side.

Erwin's hand shot down and grabbed his wrist.

It was the same hand that had stopped Levi's blade outside the walls. He'd caught the blade in his bare palm, with no regard for the pain, the welling blood.

His eyes trapped Levi's with that calm, hateful stare. "Come with me. Practice can wait."

Without loosening the iron grip on Levi's wrist, he turned and strode off the training grounds, towing Levi with him.

He didn't break pace until he'd dragged Levi into his quarters. He thrust Levi away, nearly sending him stumbling into a wall.

The door clicked shut smartly behind them.

Privacy. Levi was armed. If he wanted to make a move, any move, now was the time.

"It isn't Miche you're angry at."

Erwin hadn't even turned around.

"Your friends. You want someone to blame for their deaths."

You'll do. Levi clenched his teeth.

"The titan wasn't enough. Its death brought you no closure. But you can't bring yourself to blame me, either, can you? Not completely."

You don't know…anything.

Erwin glanced back at him. His expression was scathing. "You're feeling regret. What did I tell you about regret?"

Levi's eyes burned. His hands shook, still holding his blades.

"Perhaps you could have prevented their deaths. But you didn't. That's all that matters. That's all you can take forward. I thought you understood that, Levi."

Levi rushed him.

Erwin caught his arms, backing up as Levi barreled into him, so his back pressed against the wall.

Levi leaned his full weight into pinning Erwin to the wall. He was close enough to catch the man's sharp aftershave. God, he even smelled smug.

"There's no place for your anger. It will do you no good. You'll become trapped by it."

"Shut up."

"What do you want from me, Levi? Not my death. You could overcome me if you truly wished. What is it you want?"

"I want you," he hissed through gritted teeth, "to shut—up."

"Very well."

Something glinted in Erwin's eyes. Something predatory and dangerous. Levi had glimpsed it that first day, when they'd fought in the underground. Seeing it again twisted his insides.

Without warning, he seized Levi's other wrist and used the momentum to swing their bodies around, reversing their positions.

The practice blades clattered from his hands as Levi found himself against the wall, wrists pinned on either side of his head by Erwin's comically large hands.

Erwin leaned in even closer than Levi had, leaving mere inches between their bodies. His face loomed over Levi's, brows angled even more severely than usual.

For once, the man looked…less than calm. Not even angry—just stern. Focused. Like his expression when they'd fought in the underground. When Levi had let himself lose in the name of Lobov's assassination plan.

Levi's mind formulated six different means of escape, of rebellion. He could headbutt Erwin, he could jerk his knee into the bastard's groin, he could spit in his face…

And yet he didn't.

His fury burned and devoured him whenever Erwin came near him, yet Levi never acted on it. Any time when it counted, he found himself unable to exact damage.

A quiet, reluctant thought echoed in his mind. Perhaps he didn't break free of the captain's hold because he wanted to be there.

Erwin's manhandling infuriated him, to be sure. Levi hated how the man treated him like a possession, like a piece of furniture to be moved, or a dog that he could leash and unleash as he pleased.

But why did he find himself rooted in place whenever it happened? Erwin didn't frighten him.

What did he want from the captain?

Erwin was so close that his forehead brushed Levi's hair. His breath nudged Levi's nose and cheeks, the smell distinctly human, yet not unpleasant. His eyes did not meet Levi's, but were directed somewhere just below.

Levi glared up at him. Look at me, you bastard.

No, Erwin was focused on something else. A target that he was moving toward—

Levi stiffened. Erwin's face eclipsed his entire vision. His nose brushed Levi's an instant before his lips—

His lips were on Levi's. Trapping them. Locking them in a kiss that was somehow both crushing and gentle.

Levi's head reared back on instinct, but there was nowhere to go. His head banged against the wall behind him, and Erwin's hungry lips followed.

A half formed protest bubbled up his throat, muffled by the teeth currently devouring his lips. He growled in frustration, teeth lashing back against Erwin's. He'd bite the man's tongue off, if only—

If only what.

Too many qualifiers, too many empty threats. Would anything drive Levi to hurt this man?

The length of their bodies pressed together, which accentuated a hardening bulge against Levi's stomach.

Oh god.

His empty hands twitched underneath Erwin's. Pinned like an animal, enabling Erwin to open him up and cut out the pieces he wanted.

The bastard's lips moved to the corner of Levi's mouth, then down his chin and neck. Levi's heart jackknifed from his throat to his stomach and back again.

At least his mouth was free now. "Fuckin'—animal," he spat. The barbed words, meant to hurt the bastard on top of him, seemed to turn inward, scratching up his windpipe.

Erwin's hands tightened over his wrists for a brief moment. Then he spoke against Levi's jaw, sending a tingling warmth through his bones.

"Don't lie to yourself, Levi. It will be to your own detriment."

Fucker. As if this man knew what went on in his head. "You don't know anything."

"I know you want to be here. You and I have that in common."

"The fuck I do."

Erwin smirked. A sunbeam from the window striped across his face, highlighting his icy eyes. "You're not anywhere you don't want to be. How many morning musters have you missed? Commander Shadis has certainly kept me informed."

Levi's face warmed. Erwin had hit on what had been bothering him, sticking his finger in a troubled wound and poking around.

His arms slid down the wall, coming to rest idly by his sides.

His gear still held several pairs of blades. He made no move for them.

"What do you want from me?" he finally managed.

Erwin's lips curled up, as if to say Now we're getting somewhere. "I want you. All of you. Your best. Your perfect self, on the battlefield and off."

"You want your dick in my asshole, apparently."

"I want more than that." Erwin didn't miss a beat. Didn't deny it. "It's there in the rallying cry. I want your heart." Two fingers angled Levi's chin upward, thumb digging into the soft skin under his lower lip. "Your perfect, irreplaceable heart."

"You…" Levi struggled to find the words. This man took away every ounce of eloquence he'd ever possessed. He bared his teeth in a snarl. "You're so full of shit. If you think this…is any kind of, of love—"

"Love?" Erwin raised his eyebrows. "I was under the impression we were talking of wants. Desires. I know what I want. I believe you do, too. You simply must admit to yourself."

His fingers pressed against Levi's jaw, just above where his pulse thudded in his neck.

What did he want.

Erwin's lips were moist. They shone in the sunlight from the window. Levi stared at them. Considering.

What did he want.

He wanted Isabel and Farlan back.

He wanted something—anything—that would quiet the emotions churning in his core. The boiling rage. The burning guilt. Yes, the regret that still hammered against his skull, despite all of Erwin's admonitions.

Anything. He would tear his heart out of his chest if that's what it took.

And here was Erwin, asking for just that.

"I…" Levi's mouth was dry.

Erwin watched him, unblinking. Unflinching.

Waiting.

You simply must admit to yourself.

There it was again. That condescending bastard acting like he knew Levi better than Levi himself.

His hands shot upward, grasping, scrabbling. They closed around fistfuls of cloth, grabbing Erwin's jacket front as if to pull him closer—maybe slam their heads together.

Erwin's hands were even faster. They closed around the back of Levi's neck, forcing his head even higher.

Then his lips were on Levi's once again. Kissing. Attacking. Devouring.

Levi's mouth opened, letting Erwin's tongue push its way inside.

The man was everywhere. Tongue in his mouth, smell in his nose, hands locking his neck in place. Their fronts pressed hot and solid against one another. In the brief moments Levi's eyes were open, all he could see was Erwin.

Invading. Conquering.

Erwin's knee worked its way between Levi's legs, pressing heavy and insistent against his crotch.

Levi was territory to colonize.

His hips twitched without permission.

Nothing had changed.

Yes, Erwin was full of shit. No, this wasn't any kind of love.

But Levi didn't need love.