Chapter 9

Jon Snow Stark POV

Sam and Gendry are sleeping over tonight. Dany and I hung out when she got back from seeing Jaime and Cersei, but I need this time with the guys. I feel like I don't see Dany enough, but I also feel like I don't get enough time with my friends. I feel like I'm too spread out between everyone that needs me.

Sam arrives at my house and we leave to go get food. "When is Gendry coming?" Sam asks me.

"He had a tech thing today," I respond. "He should be here later." We go through the drive thru and order our food.

"How's Dany?" Sam asks me as we're waiting in line to pull up to the window.

"She's good, just really busy," I respond. "I feel like I don't see anyone as much as I want to."

"I heard you let Ygritte drive your car home the other day," Sam says. "Does Dany know about that?"

"I haven't told her, but it hasn't come up in conversation. It's not like anything happened."

"I'm just not sure she'd be okay with that, with Ygritte being your ex and all."

"We're solid in our relationship," I say. "I'll tell her if it comes up, it's not a secret."

"Okay, it's your relationship." I feel judged by Sam. Just because he's been in a relationship for almost a year, doesn't mean he knows everything.

Gendry eventually arrives after we get home. We're playing video games in my room and talking, pretty normal for us.

"Gendry, can I get your opinion on something?" Sam suddenly asks.

"Sure," he responds. "What's up?"

"Jon has been talking to Ygritte more, and he let her drive his car home the other day. Do you think this is something Daenerys should know about?"

"Yeah, I'd say so," Gendry responds. "Don't you think she'd want to know you're hanging out with your ex?"

"It just hasn't come up," I say. "It's not a secret. I don't know why this is such a big deal, it's not like anything happened."

"I would want to know if Gilly was hanging out with her ex," Sam says. "But that's just me."

"Okay, I'll tell her next time I see her," I say. "And you guys will see that it's not that big of a deal. I think she'd be really chill about it."

Sam and Gendry just give each other a look. Sam's only dated Gilly, and Gendry's never had a girlfriend, so I hope they can forgive me for not taking their relationship advice as gospel.

Gendry Baratheon POV

I pull out a cigarette while Jon, Sam and I are talking in Jon's room. I recently started smoking again, even though I know it's bad. Tech and school have been really stressing me out, and I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it. I wish I could, something happened over the summer that I can't talk about with anyone despite it potentially helping.

"Can you smoke that outside?" Jon asks. I assumed it would be fine because we've smoked weed in his room.

"Oh sure," I say. "Sorry." I get up and walk out to their back porch. As I'm smoking my cigarette, I see Arya come through the backyard and walk up to the porch door. She stops when she sees me.

"Hey," she says. "I didn't realize Jon had anyone besides Sam over."

"Yeah," I respond. "I'm just smoking a cigarette, don't judge me." I laugh at that last statement. I know when I was her age I thought that smoking was just awful.

"What are you doing out in the dark?" I ask her.

"Just going for a walk," she responds. "I do that a lot."

"Find anything interesting?"

"Not really," she replies. There's a long pause, and I'm wondering why she's not heading back inside. "Can I try that?"

"What?" I ask her. I'm not sure what she means.

"I want to try the cigarette," she says. "Just a little bit."

"No," I immediately say. "You know it's horrible for you, right."

"I know, but I want to try it just once."

"Jon would absolutely murder me if I do that."

"Well he doesn't have to know, now does he?" I pause. I'm worried if I don't let her, she'll just go get it on her own. I smoked my first cigarette when I was her age, and I actually hated it. Maybe she'll hate it and never try it again.

"Fine," I finally say. "Just one." I hand it to her, she takes one drag and immediately starts coughing. She hands it back to me, grabs her water bottle and starte chugging it.

"See?" I ask her. "You don't want to do that."

"Then why do you do it?" She asks.

"It's an unhealthy coping mechanism," I respond. "I knew you'd hate it." She just nods at me, her eyes are watering. I feel really awful for giving her that, but hopefully she won't want to try it again. I feel better knowing I could supervise it.

"You don't need to be a jerk about it," she says. "I just wanted to try it, and I thought you'd be cool about it. Please don't tell Jon."

"I won't," I respond. "I'm sorry if I was acting like a jerk. You're really cool, and I just want you to do the right thing. I get that you want to try everything you can, and I admire that about you. But don't try this again, it isn't fun. Deal?"

"Deal," she says, smiling at me. "Thank you, Gendry." She walks into the house.

Arya Stark POV

I walk back into my room and I think Sansa can tell I'm blushing. I hurriedly walk over, sit on my bed and bury my face in my book.

"What's with you?" Sansa asks.

"What do you mean?" I ask, playing dumb.

"Your face is beet red, you seem nervous. And you smell weird."

"I just, ran into Gendry downstairs," I tell her.

"Did you talk to him?" She asks.

"Yeah," I respond. "He told me he thinks I'm really cool, and he let me take a drag of his cigarette."

"What?!" She sounds shocked. "Arya, that's so bad for you!"

"I know! I just wanted to try it. God Sansa, you smoke weed and drink and you've had sex. I don't want to hear it." There's a long pause. I'm worried I've upset her.

"Sorry, Arya," she says. "I'm not judging. I'm glad you got to talk to him."

"God, he's so cute."

"Arya, you really like him!"

"Shut up! You know I don't like all that lovey dovey stuff. I'm not some girl who just sits dreaming about boys." I hate this, I don't want to be some girly girl obsessed with boys.

"I know Arya," she responds. "It's okay if you like boys, it's normal."

"Well," I say. I'm really nervous to say what I want to say. "Never mind."

"What?"

"It's not important, you don't care."

"Yes I do, Arya. Of course I care. If it's important to you, I want to know."

"I just," I start, dancing around the subject. "I've had this thought for a couple years off and on, but sometimes when I think about potentially being in a relationship, I don't always just think about boys."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I think I could see myself being with a boy or a girl. If I'm even with anyone at all."

"Really?" Sansa asks me. She doesn't sound shocked, it just seems like she wants to hear more.

"Yeah," I respond. "I mean, I don't think their gender would matter to me as long as I find someone I can really click with. I Googled it, I think that means I'm pansexual."

"Sounds like it," she says. "How do you feel about that?"

"Should I feel a certain way about it?"

"I guess not, I just wanted to make sure you weren't upset at that realization or worried about people making fun of you."

"I couldn't care less about that," I say. "I'm just going to be who I am."

"That's better than me," Sansa says. "But you do like Gendry, right?"

"Yes, I have a crush on Gendry, now shut up." Sansa just laughs at me. I'm glad I told her about this, it's something I've been thinking about for quite a bit, and it felt really good to put it into words.