A/N: TRIGGER WARNING! The following chapter is going to have mentions of emotional abuse, physical assault and attempted rape so please proceed with caution.

He couldn't pinpoint when things had taken a turn for the worse.

When had those quips turned so sharp and scornful on her tongue?

When had she started looking at him with those frigid, unfeeling eyes?

When had he started forcing himself onto his knees before her, begging her for forgiveness for whatever he'd done to displease her this time around?

When had he decided that this was better than being alone?

The way she spoke to him these days was nothing short of cruel and demeaning. He winced at the venom that laced her voice when she berated him, shouting all manner of foul words while he just stood there and took it. Even when they were with their friends, she talked about him like like he wasn't there, going on and on complaining about his incompetence him in front of them. Their friends never said anything to oppose her, seemingly assuming it was a mere lovers' quarrel. None of them had a clue what was really going on.

"It's over", she said one day. "I can't be together with you anymore."

Akaito looked at her without expression. Neru often did this when his groveling wasn't enough to satisfy her anymore. But in a few days time, he knew she'd get bored or lonely and call him up, giving him that tiny bit of leverage to lure him in again. She'd apologize for the screaming, the name calling, for throwing him out in the cold, and he'd come crawling back to her like an obedient dog. He didn't understand why she bothered to keep him on her leash though. She clearly had nothing but hate left in her heart for him.

The two of them still had sex every so often, but it was violent, abrasive and altogether unpleasant. Rather than "making love", it was more like something they did out of spite for one another in their fucked up, on-and-off hellscape of a relationship. She always demanded to be the one on top, hands of his chest as she pushed him into the mattress, depleting his lungs of breath while she took out her pent up frustrations on him. There was no genuine intimacy between them anymore. There was no affection tp speak of. As for the last time they'd kissed, Akaito couldn't remember.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Neru snapped, hands on her hips, stomping her heel to the floor. He was so tired, so sick of it, completely exhausted. He didn't want to argue. He didn't want to have these pointless fights anymore. All he wanted was for it to be over.

"If you're going to go then go", he muttered. "Don't call me again. Don't come back here. Just leave me be."

Just as he'd anticipated, her face contorted with wrath. "This is exactly why people don't like you! You're such a spineless prick! You've got no redeeming qualities whatsoever!"

"You're the one to talk!" he growled at her, suddenly enraged, finally fed up with her never-ending bullshit and his own stupid submissiveness. "It's fucking impossible to make you happy! No matter what I do or say, it's always wrong! It's always my fault! I'm always the one who's making your life miserable! How about you take a look in the mirror for—"

The palm of Neru's hand smacked against his cheek and he stumbled back, eyes widening with shock. Before he could begin to register what she had done, she did it again, harder this time, making him whinge and bring his hands up to shield his face. He gawked at her through the gaps between his fingers, dumbfounded and appalled, pressing his back to the wall to get as far away from her as possible. She took a step towards him and fixed with an indifferent stare.

"Have it your way then. You can die alone for all that I care", she sneered. "I can't believe I wasted so much time on you."

Those were her final words before she went away for good, slamming the door behind her as she left. Akaito crumpled to the floor, his vision blurry, his hands shaking as he searched through his pockets for his phone. Once he found it, he fumbled clumsily over the touch screen and called the only person he could come to think of in his foggy, disoriented mind. His mouth wouldn't breathe fast enough to provide him with oxygen and his thoughts spun crazily. Somewhere in the back of his head loomed a disjointed notion.

Am I having a panic attack?

He noticed a faint ringing in his ears while he listened to the signals going through. He used the sound to ground himself, holding on to it, letting it bring him back to reality.

Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up…

"Akaito?" Kaito said, sounding a little surprised. "What's up? How are you doing?"

"Hey, I…." Akaito faltered, having to work up his courage before he continued. "Actually, there's something I need to talk to you about. It's… kind of important."

"I'm so sorry but I don't really have time to talk right now. We're in the middle of a rehearsal. Is it okay if call you back later?"

He faltered again, biting his lip.

No, I need you now, not later. I want to cry. I've got no one else to turn to but you. I need you to be my big brother, just this once. Please…

If only he'd been able to say that.

"Yeah… sure", he said instead. "Promise you'll call back?"

"Of course, as soon as we're done here", Kaito assured him. "Bye then."

"Bye."

He ended the call and Akaito settled down to wait, hugging his knees to his chest in the cold, empty hallway.

Kaito didn't call him back.

—

Conversation was slow today, nearly stagnant. The weeks before the concert had indeed been busy for Rin and they hadn't been able to see each other for some time. They'd kept in touch over the phone but she'd been too distracted to really talk with him and he hadn't wanted to bother her too much. Today however, she'd called him up and asked if she could come see him. Akaito had been reluctant to let her come since it was already quite late in the evening and dark outside, but he hadn't been able to refuse her in the end.

November had brought along a veil of gloom and a distinct chill to the air that encouraged several layers of clothing. Rin had turned up wearing a thick sweater and thigh-high stockings under her plaid skirt, looking unbelievably adorable. Akaito had let her inside the house and then it was as if they forgot their regularly assigned roles. They just sat awkwardly nest to each other on the couch. The TV was on, but neither of them really paying attention to it. Akaito glanced at Rin as she stared at the screen in total silence, her eyes glazed over, her face blank.

He'd been thinking about her every single day since they last saw each other. She'd pretty much haunted his mind, not at least when he was asleep. He'd dreamed of having her again last night, so vividly he could practically feel her. Some part of him must've known it wasn't real, but his desire for her had been so overwhelming and he'd woken up disgusted by himself again.

After everything that went down with Neru, Akaito had tried to steer clear of women, and his urges had consequently stayed dormant for almost two years. But ever since Rin came along, it was like he was back to being a teenager, incapable of containing the hormones that raged inside him. Every time he'd thought of her lately, he'd feel the blood rushing through him, and it was all he could do but touch himself until the release came, giving him few hours of respite before he inevitably thought about her again. But he also knew that sex wasn't the only, or even the main reason he wanted her so badly. He should never have allowed himself to get this attached to her.

He turned the TV off. It took a couple of seconds before Rin noticed and turned her head to him.

"What's the matter?" she asked. Akaito grunted and rubbed his temple.

"The TV was putting a strain on my eyes."

"Headache again?"

"Yeah…"

She regarded him with worry, moving a little closer, and he had to resist the instinct move further away. He didn't know how he'd react if she tried to touch him. He didn't know if he would be able to control himself.

"Should I get some painkillers for you?" she asked and he nodded. She went off to the kitchen and came back with the painkillers and a glass of water. He muttered a "thanks", took the pill and leaned back, closing his eyes while he waited for the pain to fade.

"You should probably go see doctor and get that checked out", Rin said. "It can't be normal to get headaches as often as you do."

"It's fine", he answered, waving his hand dismissively. "It's not going to kill me."

She sighed but didn't say anything. They drifted back into silence. Akaito could feel her looking at him and he cracked an eye open to observe her in kind. She seemed unsettled somehow, bothered to be around him… and there was that anxious frown of hers again.

"I need to tell you something", she said quietly. "Kaito… asked me out on a date."

He blinked. It took a while to make sense of what he'd just heard. Kaito had actually done it. Go figure. He had to admit he was impressed with his brother for once. Besides, wasn't this just about the best thing that could've happened? Akaito had always known he'd have to end his friendship with Rin sooner or later — especially taking into account his recent obsession with her — and now Kaito was handling that pesky business for him. The timing couldn't be more perfect.

"So, what did you answer him?" he asked, already excepting what her answer would be. Rin seemed extremely uncomfortable now. She refused to look at him, her complexion strangely pallid.

"I said I'd I'd think about it", she mumbled. He raised his eyebrows in astonishment.

What happened to "I'd say yes in a heartbeat"?

"Why did you do that? Why didn't you say yes? I thought this was what you wanted?" he probed her insistently, somehow annoyed at her, a slight edge to his tone. But then she looked at him and he recoiled. There was something confused and lost in her expression, certainly not something that belonged on the face of a girl whose dreams had just come true.

"I don't know", she said. "It's just a bit sudden."

"Haven't you been in love with him for years? What's so sudden about it?" he retorted. He realized too late that he was raising his voice, virtually shouting at her.

"I don't know!" Rin screamed and got up from the couch. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm going home!"

She rushed past him and went through the doorway towards the hallway. Akaito came after her and found her on the floor struggling with her shoelaces, the task made difficult by the onset of tears that flowed down her cheeks. Her frustration brought her to give up on the laces and she made an attempt to leave anyway, but he moved in front of her and blocked her path to the door.

"Please move!" she yelled, her tear-filled eyes shooting daggers at him. "I just want to go home!"

"You can go home if you want to, but I don't want you to go alone", Akaito said calmly. "We don't need to talk, just let me go with you to the railroad crossing."

This seemed to soothe her somewhat. She nodded and rubbed her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. He stood by the door as she tied her shoelaces properly, keeping his mouth shut as promised. He wished he could say something to comfort her but didn't want to risk upsetting her again. Instead, he simply moved aside and let out once she was ready to go. She waited by his side as he locked up and then she took the lead, walking briskly down the street. Akaito stayed a few feet behind her and scoured his mind as he tried to think of something to say to her. But he failed repeatedly to find anything that seemed meaningful enough, knowing full well that this might be the last time he saw Rin in person.

Eventually, the railroad crossing appeared into view and their final minutes together were rapidly running out. Once again, Akaito searched for words and came up with nothing. He regarded Rin as she stood with her back to him, noting how her frail shoulders were pulled up from the cold. She turned halfway and he could see the silhouette of her face, but her features remained cast in shadow. He had no idea what was going through her head.

"So, I guess this is it then", he said. She didn't give him any response so he opened his mouth to speak again, but was abruptly interrupted by the sound of laughter, coming from a group of young men a bit further down the street. Akaito tore his eyes from them and turned back to Rin, only to find that she was already passing over the crossing, soon to vanish out of his sight and probably his life. Well, that was anticlimactic, he thought and sighed deeply.

He was about the accept the turn of the events, prepared to go home and leave all of it (her) behind him. But then, he saw that group of men, four of them in total, murmuring furtively amongst themselves, before they started walking in the same direction as Rin. He stared after them, standing absolutely still while he watched them stalk down the street. Surely, he was just imagining things? There was no reason to assume they were following her. There was no reason to assume they were planning to harm her or even mildly harass her. Surely, this was just his paranoid mind jumping to conclusions?

But then again… what if they were following her?

Akaito took off in pursuit, his heart pounding in his ears as he bounded over the crossing. He couldn't see the group of men anymore, but he could hear their voices not too far away and he chased after them obsessively, gaining speed with every leap he took. He could already tell, they weren't moving anymore. Something, or someone, had brought them to a halt.

He caught sight of them then, gathered under a street light, Rin caught in the middle. Akaito slowed his pace and ducked into the darkness, huddling against a brick wall as he surveyed the situation. The odds were not in his favor. He briefly considered that the men might let go of her if he just walked up and asked them nicely, but that seemed far too steep of a gamble. These guys did not look like the mild-mannered type. They would most definitely beat him half to death if they felt so inclined.

"Come on sweetheart, don't be so stingy", he heard one them say as him and his pals circled around Rin. "We'll take you somewhere fun. I promise you'll enjoy yourself."

The man seized her arm and yanked her towards him. She struggled to free herself and the whole gang laughed mockingly while he jerked her around. But Rin took a stance and kicked out, the heel of her shoe hitting him right between the legs, and he dropped to his knees with a pained wheeze. Another one of them tried to grab her from behind and she whacked a vicious elbow into his face. He staggered away, howling and cupping his hands over his nose as blood poured between his fingers.

Seeing her chance, Rin made a run for it and it actually looked like she was going to escape, but the other two men got their grubby paws on her at once and slammed her back into the brick wall. She managed a strangled cry for help before one of them put their hand over her mouth, preventing her from making more noise.

"Shut up, you little whore", he hissed at her. "This will be over soon if you just stop resisting."

That's when Akaito charged into him, putting the weight of his entire body into the tackle and taking the strike with his shoulder. The man tumbled over and the one next to him was so shocked that he jumped back, losing his grip on Rin in the process. Akaito jabbed his fist into the man's jaw before he could try to grab her again and then he twisted around to Rin, gripped onto her wrist and dragged along as he got both of them out of there. His hand was throbbing and his shoulder felt sore, but the adrenaline kept his legs going at full capacity until he was sure they had eluded the would-be rapists. He let go of Rin and crouched with his hands on his knees, panting heavily from the exertion, an iron tang at the back of his throat.

Once he managed to catch his breath, he straightened up and looked over to Rin. She stood leaning against a tree, shaking uncontrollably, her eyes wide and her face white as a sheet. Her inhales came quickly and shallowly and she looked like she could collapse at any second. But at least she was unharmed. At least she was safe.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "You look really pale."

"I feel sick", she answered. "The ground is spinning."

"Do you think you might faint?"

"I don't know. I've never fainted before."

"Come here."

Akaito reached out to her and she tried to step towards him, but her legs nearly gave in and she stumbled into his arms. He tugged her close and held her steady, beyond relieved to feel her warmth against him. She was still shaking but her breathing began to slow as she placed her hands on his back and rested her head on his chest. They stayed as such for some time, simply holding each other, letting their pulse settle down. Then, Akaito ran his fingers under Rin's chin and titled her head so that he could lock eyes with her.

"Those self-defense lessons came in handy. You put up a good fight", he said. She was looking less pale now and gave him a feeble smile, trying to appear brave despite everything.

"It was a team effort, I couldn't have done it myself. If you hadn't come when you did… I would've—" Her voice ruptured mid-sentence and her lower lip began to tremble. Akaito couldn't take it anymore. He leaned in and kissed her.

Rin was taken aback at first, but she soon reciprocated the kiss, sighing happily as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Akaito snaked his arms around her waist in return, almost lifting her off the ground as he pulled her deeper into his embrace. He could feel every her curve of her petite body, reveling in how perfectly they seemed to fit together, the sense of pure bliss spreading through him and putting him at ease. Slowly and very reluctantly, they separated from each other, both of them dazed and gasping for air.

"Fucking hell", Akaito mumbled, grinning like an idiot, and Rin giggled and he kissed her again and again because she was too cute for him to resist her. They broke apart and he held her in his gaze, admiring this wonderful, beautiful young woman that held his entire heart in her delicate little hands. The words tumbled out of his mouth before he had the slightest chance to stop them.

"Rin, I… I think I love you."

Her reaction was… not what he'd expected. She responded with a dissatisfied scowl, her lips pursed in bitter protest. He didn't really understand what the problem was until she spelled it out for him.

"You think you love me?" she grumbled. "Is that the best you've got?"

"That's what you're hung up on?" he said with a gentle laugh, tangling his fingers through her silky hair. "You're not going to cut me any slack, are you?"

"Of course not", she answered curtly, before she smirked and raised her chin. "You know I take matters of love very seriously."

"Fair enough", he said, leaning in once more. "I love you, Rin."

"I love you too", she whispered, her eyes sparkling dimly in the silver moonlight. Akaito smiled broadly and he sealed her lips with his own yet again. He decided then, in that very moment, to forget about Kaito and Neru and everything else that had made him shy way from the world. From now on, there was only her, Kagamine Rin, and there was no use denying it — he was head over heels in love.

—

They stripped each other down between long, lusting kisses. Akaito ran his tongue over Rin's lips and she parted them readily, allowing him to enter, taste her and explore every nook and cranny inside her mouth. She ran her fingers through his hair and rubbed her body up against his, one hand cupped between his legs, fondling the growing bulge in his jeans. He gave a low groan, feeling feverish as she stirred up the heat within him. His own hands snuck in under her shirt and he groped her breasts a little more roughly than he meant to in his eager. She seemed to enjoy it anyhow, a content hum escaping from her lips as her fingers coiled around his groin. Everything about her was so intoxicating, so captivating. He longed to indulge in her fully.

Rin fell onto the bed, white cotton and lace adorning her otherwise exposed body. Akaito stood back and took her in, letting his fingers trace the smooth surface of her figure, reveling in her excited shivers. His keen eye seemed to make her self-conscious and she pinned him with an impatient glare. Naturally, he taunted her with one of his signature sly grins, taking off his own underwear before he he climbed on top of her.

He unclasped her bra next, planting kisses on her small breasts and running his thumbs over her stiffened nipples. He licked and nibbled at her, teeth gently scratching her porcelain skin, making all those tiny blonde hairs stand on end. He slid his hand into her panties and moved his fingertips in circles, encouraged by her delighted twisting and the sensual noises she emitted. Hoping to prepare her for what was to come, he inserted two digits through her entrance and pumped them in and out, all the while simulating her clit with his thumb. He proceeded to please her with one hand as he used the other to discard of her panties, leaving her bare. Rin was really getting into it at this point, already dripping wet, begging for him to take her. She beckoned to him over and over, calling his name in that urgent, desperate voice.

"Akaito, mmh, ah… p-please... I really need you..."

Withdrawing his hand, Akaito pulled away a little, blushing at how blatant his arousal had become. He suddenly felt extremely nervous and wondered to himself if this really was such a good idea. Was it too soon to do this? Were they rushing things? Maybe they should take it easy and call it quits for now? But then Rin looked at him, expectantly, lovingly, and he felt all of his doubts scatter away. He leaned in to kiss her again, the touch of her lips impossibly soft and tender, his hands on her knees as he spread her legs apart.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" he asked, just to be certain, scanning her face for any sign of regret. "We can stop if you want to."

"No", she said. "I want to do it… I want you."

"Alright, if you say so", he murmured, bracing her thigh as he carefully pushed inside her. Rin gave a sharp gasp and dug her nails into his back.

"Ah! It hurts! It hurts!" she whined and tossed her head to the side while her eyes teared up. Akaito tried to console her by kissing her forehead and stroking her hair, letting her take the time she needed to simmer down and get used to him.

"Try to relax, it hurts more because you're tensing up", he told her. She nodded uneasily, taking a few deep breaths as she adjusted underneath him. Finally, she seemed to find a more comfortable position and her tension eased up. She looked at him and blinked with surprise.

"You're inside me", she said, as if she'd just thought of it.

"That's correct", he said with a chuckle. "I'm going to move now. Is that okay?"

Rin nodded again and Akaito took her hand, their fingers intertwining as he started rocking his hips against hers. He kept it slow and steady at first, his other hand clutching her thigh, helping her move to his rhythm. She squeezed his hand and moaned quietly.

"How does it feel?" he wondered. "Does it still hurt?"

"N-No, it feels g-good", Rin stuttered, lifting her hips to meet him. "Akaito… it feels really good. Don't stop… please."

She didn't have to tell him twice. Akaito quickened the pace and she whimpered as he reached deeper inside her, grazing that one, sensitive spot that made her jolt and shudder against him. Her head dipped back and her eyes fluttered shut, her forehead creasing slightly. He watched her intently, totally enraptured, consuming every inch and etching the image of her into his mind. He increased the pace even further and Rin opened her eyes again, something daring and compelling in her gaze that made him lose it completely.

Akaito let go of her hand, took a firm grasp on her hips and thrusted wildly into her. The heat and friction was becoming too much to endure, slowly and excruciatingly driving him to the limit as he took her with reckless abandon, unable to get enough. Rin's hands scrambled for purchase wherever they could find it and she clung on while she tried her best to keep up. He heard the breathy moans and yelps she made in his ear each time he brought himself down on her, harder and faster with each thrust. She, too, was getting close, her insides clenching in anticipation, so tightly it was almost unbearable. He brought one arm in under her arched back to support her and pushed his nose into her sweet-scented hair, sensing that all too familiar surge coming on.

"A-Akaito, I'm going to—!" Rin cried out as the pleasure came to a cusp and Akaito felt her body give a final spasm just before he finished himself. They groaned simultaneously from the immense satisfaction, panting and bucking against one another to relish the moment just a bit longer. Still trembling from the aftermath, he pulled out and lifted himself off her, tucking both of them in under his comforter. They nestled there, gazing dreamily at each other, her finger trailing along the length of his collarbone, his hand resting on her very warm, flushed cheek.

"Can you tell me you love me again?" Rin asked and he smiled, more than happy to oblige.

"I love you."

"I love you too", she sighed, closing her eyes. Akaito watched over her while she drifted off to sleep, entwining his fingers in blonde tendrils before he did the same.