TW: Discussions of EDs & SA in this chapter

Sansa Stark POV

My mom agreed to take me to a modeling camp this summer, so I just have to focus on losing as much weight as possible between now and then. I'm hoping to also have my license by then. God, there's so much going on that I have to plan for.

Arya and I are going for a walk together. She loves going on walks, and even more excercise will help me lose more weight.

"So is Gendry still with Margaery?" Arya randomly asks me.

"Yeah," I say. "Sorry, they seem pretty happy."

"It's okay, I'm over that. I saw him when we went to pick you up from cheer, and he said he would teach me how to do tech if I decided I was interested in it for high school."

"Is that something you're thinking about?" I guess it makes sense. Arya does love robotics and mechanics, I could see that carrying over to tech theatre. I don't believe she's over her crush on Gendry, but I'm not going to bug her about it.

"Yeah, it sounds like fun," she says. "I know it's not very girly, so mom may not be happy about it."

"Don't worry about that," I say. "Mom is very rarely satisfied, no matter what we do." Arya doesn't say anything, but I know she agrees. Mom may deny it, but her actions speak lowder than her words.

I start to feel lightheaded, so I sit down on the curb and close my eyes. I put my head in my hands and take a few deep breaths.

"Are you okay?" Arya asks me.

"Yeah," I say, nodding. "Just got a little winded there."

"We just started walking. You excercise a lot, you shouldn't be this winded this quickly."

"I had cheer earlier, it's probably because I'm just tired from that." There's a pause.

"Have you eaten today?" Arya asks me. I just shake my head. "Sansa! It's like 4:30."

"I'm fine," I say. "I'll have half of a protein bar when we get home."

"I think we should head home now," she says. "I don't want you to pass out again."

"God, Arya," I say. "I passed out once over a year ago, can everyone just move on from that?"

"I still think we should go home." I think about it, maybe she's right.

"Okay, fine," I say. "Can you hold my hand while we walk." She nods and we walk back home.

We walk into the door and I immediately sit down on the couch and close my eyes, which catches my mom's attention. "Is everything okay?" She asks.

"Sansa just got a little lightheaded," Arya says. "She hasn't eaten today." I glare at her, why did she have to snitch on me like that?

My mom immediately gets up and goes to the kitchen. "Sansa, we've talked about this," she says. "You can't go this late into the day without eating, especially since you had cheer earlier."

"I was in a hurry earlier," I say. "I just didn't get around to it."

"I don't care," she says. She walks back in with a bagel with cream cheese, of course she had to get me something loaded with carbs and fat. "I'll be making dinner in a couple hours, but this should be good to tide you over. Arya, stay here until Sansa finishes it."

Arya looks confused, but I can tell she understands what's going on. She gives me a sympathetic smile, but I'm irritated with her. She shouldn't have said anything, I would've been fine. I really don't want Arya to copy these habits of mine, she doesn't need that.

Samwell Tarly POV

I'm hanging out with Gilly today, and I'm finally going to work up the courage to talk to her abour what happened. Maybe I'm overreacting, but it's worth checking on. I love her and want to communicate openly with her. We're having a picnic in a nice park, I'm hoping to talk to her there.

We get to the park and set up our blanket and food. "Sam, this is really sweet," she says to me as she sits down. "You're the best."

"You're better," I say, kissing her cheek. "I wanted us to have a nice date with the weather getting nice."

"Thank you," she says. "I love you."

"I love you too," I say. "Gilly?"

"Yeah?"

"I really need to talk to you."

"About what? Are you breaking up with me?"

"No," I say. "Definitely not. I want to ask you why you felt ready to sleep with me."

"Why does that matter?" She asks.

"It seemed really out of character for you. I love you, Gilly. I want you to know you can talk to me about anything, but I can't read your mind."

There's a long pause as she just looks at me. Out of what seems like nowhere, she bursts into tears. I'm so confused.

"I'm pregnant, Sam," she says between sobs.

"What?" I ask. "How would you even know that this soon?"

"No I—," she's still crying and stuttering. "I have to tell you something."

"What is it?" I ask. "You can tell me anything."

"You'll leave me when I tell you this, I know you will."

"I won't, I can promise you that."

There's a long pause, like she's working up the courage to tell me. Or she's internally deciding whether or not she wants to tell me.

"My father does things to me sometimes," she says. "He has for a long time. I thought if I slept with you, you would think the baby was yours and we could run off together. I ruined that, though. I should probably just leave."

I'm in shock. I know Gilly doesn't like her family very much and it's a hectic home, but I had no idea it was this horrific.

"Gilly," I say. "I'm not leaving you, but why didn't you tell me?"

"I was ashamed!" She yells, still crying. "I've literally never told anyone."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of, I promise you we'll figure this out."

"How?" She asks. I pause, because I honestly don't know.

"I don't know," I say. "But I'm going to take you home, and I need you to act normal there. I'm not leaving you, I promise we'll do something, I just need time to figure out what that is."

"Just don't tell anyone, okay?" She asks me.

"Of course not," I say, even though that isn't something that I can promise.

She just nods, and I wipe some of her tears away and kiss her. It absolutely sickens me that I'm taking her back to that house, but I know I can't take her to my place. No matter what I tell my dad, he won't allow it.

I don't want her dad to know that I know, which is why I'm telling her to act normal. I don't want her to get some awful punishment for doing the right thing. I have no idea what I'm going to do, this is more than I've ever had to take on. I'll do anything for Gilly, though. If there's any time to step up, it's now.

Jon Snow Stark POV

There's only about 2 more months left in the school year. I'm getting stressed about it because I feel like I should at least know what I want to study by now. As I'm getting older, I'm also starting to wonder about my mom and where I came from. I haven't asked my dad much about her because when I have, he brushes me off and changes the subject. I get that it's a difficult subject and memory for him, but I also feel like I deserve to know about her.

I'm sitting outside on the front porch, contemplating life like a loser. My dad walks outside and sees me.

"Is this seat taken?" He asks me, gesturing to the chair next to me. I just shake my head. "Watcha thinking about?"

"I'm just not sure what I want to do when I get to college," I say. "I still don't know what I want to study. I know I need to figure it out."

"You can decide that your first year of college, you don't have to decide it at this very moment."

"Dany has what she wants to do figured out, and I have no doubt she'll be successful at it. I wish I had a plan lined up for me like that."

There's a pause. "I promise I'll help you figure it out," my dad says. "You still have summer and your first year of school to think it over."

There's an even longer pause. "I've also been thinking about my mom," I say. He knows what I mean. "I've been wondering about her a lot more lately."

"Jon…" he starts. I can tell he doesn't want to talk about her.

"Can I just ask you one thing about her?" I ask. He pauses, looking at me.

"Sure," he says. "Go ahead."

"Have you ever worried she'll reach out to you?"

He looks confused. "What do you mean?" He asks me.

"Have you ever worried she's contact you again?" I ask. "Maybe she'd want to see me or get to know me, she knows where we live. I know that would be awkward for everyone if that happened. Have you ever thought about what you would do if that happened?"

My dad just looks at me, I can tell he never thought I would ask that and he didn't have an answer prepared for me. I've always had fantasies about my mom coming back for me and deciding to have a relationship with me. I love my siblings and their mom (who I consider my mom), but I've always dreamed about the kind of person my biological mother is and what kind of relationship we might have.

"No," my dad says. "I've honestly never thought about that."

"I guess I'm just so unlovable that it never occurred to you that she would want a relationship with me."

"Jon," he says. "It's not that. You have a good life here with us, and we love you. What I mean is that I've never even thought of speaking to her again because you're my son, and my love for you will never change no matter where you came from or what your biological mother does."

I pause and just look at him. I have no doubt my dad loves me, but I don't think my mom does. Either of them. Apparently she didn't want me so much that my dad is so certain she'll never want anything to do with me. I know he didn't mean for me to interpret it that way, but how else am I supposed to think? I may never know who my mom is, and maybe the fantasies of her that I've created in my head are better than the reality of her could ever be.