Chapter 30

TW: ED behaviors discussed in this chapter.

Jon Snow Stark POV

I'm walking to my car after rock climbing practice one day when I faintly hear someone running up to me.

"Jon, Jon!" I hear someone call out to me. I turn around and see that it's Ygritte.

"Oh, hey," I say to her. "What's up?"

"Do you know what's going on with Gilly?" She asks me.

I pause. "Why would I know that?"

"You're best friends with Sam," she says. "She's been really distant from me lately. I thought she might be mad at me, but she said she's not. I just didn't know if you knew anything."

"I don't really," I lie. "Sam said she was a little stressed and going through some stuff, but I don't know anything beyond that."

It's not my place to tell anyone Gilly's business, she would tell Ygritte if she felt comfortable doing so. I get her frustration because Gilly is her best friend, but I still don't want to tell her any details Gilly wouldn't want her to know.

"Okay," she says, looking down at the ground. "Tormund is trying to talk to Coach Tarth again, and I don't feel like waiting for him. Can I have a ride home?"

"I…" I say, avoiding eye contact with her. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Because Daenerys wouldn't like it?"

"Can't you just wait for Tormund?"

"I don't know how long it'll be," she says. "Please?"

"Okay, fine," I say. We get into the car and head to her place.

"I wish Gilly would talk to me," Ygritte says, staring out the window. "I thought we were best friends."

"I'm sure you still are," I say. "Just let her know you're there for her, and she'll tell you what's going on when she's ready."

"I feel like no one wants to talk to me about anything serious, like I drive people away with my attitude."

"You don't drive people away."

"I drove you away, didn't I?" She asks, looking over at me.

I sigh, I don't want to get into this right now with her. "We just weren't a good fit," I say. "You can be a little bit abrasive, but I liked that about you."

"Really?"

"Yeah," I say. "If you just let Gilly know you'll be compassionate and you're there for her, I'm sure she'll open up to you." We pull up to her place.

"Thanks," she says, reaching over and hugging me. That takes me by surprise. "You're the best, thanks for the ride."

"No problem."

She walks into her house and I drive home. I don't know why she gave me a hug, but maybe she just needed someone to talk to.

I get how it can be frustrating when you care about someone and they're so closed off, that's how I feel about Sansa sometimes. Gilly has good reason to be closed off, though. I hope Ygritte can start to understand that.

Sansa Stark POV

I can't believe the school year is only about a month from being over. This year was hell, but it was hell that went by fast. I don't know what I'm going to do without Jon and Dany here next year. I know Margaery will still be in town, but she won't be at school anymore. Plus, Arya is starting high school next year. That thought terrifies me. I'm worried someone like her won't be welcomed at Winterfell.

I'm hanging out with Dany today. Arya was invited, but she has fencing so it'll just be Dany and I. Of course Dany wants to take me to lunch, which is stressful for me. I know she means well, but have everyone watching over me is getting more stressful and overwhelmind by the day.

We're at a thrift store and Dany is looking at some of the discount dresses. "I didn't think you'd be interested in stores like this," I say. "A lot of this stuff is really cute."

"Because I'm rich?" She says. "I volunteer at a lot of places like this, and I've started to really like the stuff they sell."

Dany buys a dress and a shirt, and I avoid trying anything on because I don't want to look in the mirror right now. We go eat lunch at a local cafe, and she basically makes me eat an entire sandwich.

"These sandwiches are really healthy," Dany says to me. "Have you eaten today."

I shake my head. "No," I say. "But it's only 2:30."

"You know you should eat before that. That isn't good, Sansa."

"I know," I say. "I'm not sure why everyone is on me about this now when they didn't care last year."

"We do care, I'm sorry we didn't notice you were struggling. Better late then never."

I feel so full as we're riding back to Daenery's house. When we get back, I have the urge to just get this food out of me. When we get into the house I immediately find one of her guest bathrooms buried deep in the house.

"Where are you going?" She asks as I walk to the bathroom.

"I just have to use the bathroom," I call out, trying to sound casual about it.

I get to the bathroom and lift the toilet lid, going to my knees. I start to attempt to purge when there's a knock at the bathroom door.

"Sansa," Dany says, sounding scared. "Open this door right now, or I will." I forgot most of her bathrooms don't have locks.

I start wretching without even meaning to as I'm trying to take my fingers out from my throat. Dany opens the door and sees me on my knees with my eyes watering and vomit in the toilet. Dany just sighs and closes her eyes.

"I promise this isn't what it looks like," I say, tearing up. "I wasn't feeling good."

"Sansa, I'm not stupid," she says. "You think I didn't go through this phase, too? I know exactly what you're doing."

I didn't realize she had been through this too. It feels like you can't escape high school without having food and body image issues.

"Don't tell anyone," I say. "Especially Jon."

"Sansa—"

"Please," I say. "He'll tell my parents, and they'll get on me even more than they already are."

Dany pauses. "Okay," she says. "Do you want to watch a movie?" I just nod and we go out into the living room.

Daenerys Targaryen POV

I'm so scared for Sansa. I feel like the only choice I have is to tell Jon what happened, even though she basically begged me not to. I feel bad lying and promising her I wouldn't tell him, but I feel like maybe it's okay to lie in this situation. I have to tell him, I couldn't live with myself if I didn't tell him and things got worse.

Jon knocks on my door, and I answer it. He looks happy, and I'm terrified because I know he won't be once I tell him what I'm about to tell him.

"Come in," I say. He walks into my house. "I really need to talk to you."

"I want to talk to you, too," he says. We sit on the couch.

"You should probably go first. Mine is pretty serious and will probably take longer."

"I drove Ygritte home the other day," he says. "When we got to her house, she gave me a hug before getting out of the car."

I pause. I'm glad he's telling me this, but it's still taking me by surprise.

"You know how I feel about that, Jon," I say. "I've told you so many times. At this point, if you just don't care then you should tell me."

"I do care!" He raises his voice. "She was worried about Gilly, and I think she just needed some comfort."

"And the only person that could give her that was you?"

"You're right," I say. "You're absolutely right, and that's why I'm telling you."

"I don't have time to fight with you about this right now," I say. "We can talk about this later, what I have to say is really urgent."

"What is it?" He asks.

"I caught Sansa purging while she was over here yesterday."

Jon pauses, looking at me stunned. "What?" He asks. "I didn't even know she did that."

"Yeah," I say. "She begged me not to tell you, but I had to. I couldn't live with myself if something really bad happened because I didn't say anything."

"I don't know what to do," he says. "My mom is already having to babysit her to make sure she eats."

"You have to tell her she's doing this, I'm sure she would want to know."

"Sansa will be so mad at me, she'd never forgive me if I did that."

"Well what if she ends up in the hospital?" I ask. "Won't you have wished you said something if that happens?"

Jon sighs and pauses, thinking about it. I can tell he knows I'm right. "You're right," he says. "She needs to be safe. I'll tell my mom tonight."

"Good," I say. "Now, about Ygritte. She's clearly still into you, I don't know what to say if you can't see that."

"I don't know," he says. "It really seemed like she just needed someone to vent to."

"I've already told you how I feel about her and you hanging out just you and her," I say. "If you don't care, then we should have a serious talk about that."

There's a pause. "You're right," he says. "I'm sorry. I love you, and I won't hang out with her just us anymore."

"You know I don't care if your friends have a thing and she's there, it's just when you guys hang out one on one."

"I'm sorry it happened, I was just trying to be nice. You know I love you, right?"

"I know," I say. "I love you more."

I'm glad I'm working towards going to college and moving out, but I'm also scared. I want my dad to be okay, and I don't want my relationship with Jon to be in trouble. Ygritte makes me uncomfortable, and I wish Jon would see what I think the clear motives are behind what she's doing.

Now I have the added layer of needing to worry about Sansa. I'm worried she won't be able to get better without the support of Jon and I. I'm glad he agree to tell their mom, but I'm still really worried about her. I'm not worried she'll be mad at me, I'd rather have her hate me than get dangerously sick.