Chapter 39

Sansa Stark POV

Treatment actually has been a little helpful, as much as I hate to admit it. I learned something in my therapy sessions that I've had a hard time dealing with, and that's that I was raped. My therapist and I were talking about my relationship with Ramsay, and she explained to me how what happened with him wasn't consensual.

I really thought it was, I just thought that all boys in high school were like that to some degree and he was just worse than some others. I cried a lot after that session, and I told Myrcella what happened. She's the first person I ever told after I could put what happened with Ramsay into words.

My parents are coming to visit me at treatment today. They aren't bringing Arya because they're actually attending a therapy session with me. Part of my treatment in the last weeks is for them to attend a therapy session with me so I can tell them about my triggers and how they can help me, Myrcella is also doing the same thing today with her parents.

I keep fidgeting as I'm sitting on the couch waiting for the therapist to come in, I'm sitting between my mom and my dad.

"Are you okay?" My mom asks me. I just nod, avoiding eye contact. This whole thing is really uncomfortable for me.

"How are we today?" My therapist asks as she walks in. She shakes my mom and dad's hands as they give generic responses.

"Sansa," my therapist continues. "What is it that you want from this session?"

"To give my parents a better idea of what upsets me," I say. "That way they know better how to help me." I'm just saying what I think my therapist wants to hear, I don't think this will actually work.

"Okay," the therapist says. "Is there a place you'd like to start?"

"Well," I say, fidgeting. "Sometimes I feel like you guys just get mad at me when I'm struggling instead of supporting me, which makes me feel like I can't be honest when I'm struggling."

"I'm sorry we reacted that way," my dad says. "It just scares us when you fall into this behavior."

"It's mostly mom," I say. "She's the one who gets mad at me." There's a pause, and my therapist looks over at my mom.

My mom lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry, Sansa," she says. "How can I make you feel like I'm not mad at you?"

"By not yelling," I say. "By telling me it's okay that I'm struggling, and by not getting so angry. It really doesn't help." There's a pause.

"Okay," my mom says. "I can try to work on that. Thank you for being honest with me."

"And maybe don't bring up if a food is healthy or unhealthy," I say. "That just stresses me out and makes me worry constantly about what I'm eating."

"What if she really isn't being healthy, though?" My mom asks the therapist.

"Use different phrasing," the therapist says. "Maybe give her some alternatives of things to eat instead if you're worried about what she's eating."

"Would that really help, Sansa?" My dad asks me. I like that he's making sure he hears my voice and what I want in my own words.

"Yes," I say. "It really would."

…

I'm in my room with Myrcella, we're about to go to bed.

"How did the session with your parents go?" She asks me.

"It actually went okay," I say. "How was yours?"

"It went well," she says. "They really want me to get better, so I think they're willing to do anything at this point to make that happen."

"That's really great," I say. "My mom still seems a little reluctant."

"Why?"

"She's very set in her ways," I respond. "I get why she's controlling, she has six kids. I just wish she was more open to other ideas."

"I'm sure she'll come around," Myrcella says. "My parents have been great, it's my older brother that I'm worried about."

"Why?" I ask.

"He's the biggest asshole, and I don't even feel bad saying that," she says. "He'll constantly call me fat and make fun of me."

"I'm sorry," I say. "My older brother and I fight a lot, but he'd never say anything like that to me."

"Yeah, it can be really rough. I try not to let it get to me."

"Do you have any other siblings?" I ask her.

"My younger brother isn't so bad, he's just not very bright," she says. "My younger sister, Shireen is definitely my favorite sibling. She and I get along great, I think we got the only nice person genes."

Maybe Jon and Dany aren't horrible people, maybe they were just looking out for me. I'm still mad at the way they handled it and how they overreacted, but I'm seeing how it could be worse after hearing Myrcella talk about her siblings. At least Jon doesn't actively work to tear down my self esteem.

Jon Snow Stark POV

Sam settled on an apartment for him and Gilly. Tormund, Gendry and I are helping them move in today. Ygritte will also be there helping Gilly, which I hope isn't too awkward. I never told Dany about what she said to me on the night of graduation, I know it'll just make her upset so I don't really see the point.

Gendry and I are helping unpack boxes while Tormund and Sam are unloading them. Sam will get his stuff organized eventually, but we're just helping sort through it and break down the boxes.

"Do you miss Dany now that she moved in with Jaime and Cersei?" Gendry asks me.

"Of course," I say. "But I'll see her soon. I've been talking to her every day. How is Margaery?"

"Good," he says. "We went out of town together and that was fun, she's just prepping for cosmetology school now."

"Are you worried that'll make you guys drift apart?" I ask him.

"No," he says. "She'll still be in town, so I'll still get to see her even if cosmetology takes up more of her time since it's her main focus."

Ygritte helps Gilly inside and then goes out to get some boxes. I can tell that Gilly's pregnant, but I don't think anyone besides me, Ygritte and Sam know for sure.

"How are you feeling?" Sam asks Gilly as he and Tormund bring some more boxes in.

"I'm okay," she says. "Just a little tired."

"Why?" Tormund asks. There's a long pause.

"Because I'm pregnant," Gilly says. "I guess I can't hide it anymore." There's a pause, Gendry and Tormund just looked shocked.

"Really?" Gendry asks.

"Is it Sam's?" Tormund asks.

"Of course it's mine," Sam says, snapping at him. "What kind of question is that?"

"Sorry man," Tormund says, holding his hands up. "I just didn't think you guys were there."

"Well things change," Sam says. "Please don't tell anyone, we want to keep things quiet so Gilly's family doesn't find out."

"Why?" Gendry asks.

"The only way I could get emancipated is if they didn't know," Gilly says. "I don't want anything to jeopardize that, so I want to prevent people from finding out if I can."

"Okay," Tormund says. "I promise we won't."

"Thank you," Gilly says. "Even my job doesn't know. I'm still trying to figure that out."

"I know you can do it," Ygritte says. "You'll be a better mother than most adults out there." Gilly smiles at her.

Sam walks over and gives her a hug and a kiss. He's so sweet to her, I admire him so much for standing by her and stepping up to raise a child that isn't his.

Daenerys Targaryen POV

I've been living with Cersei and Jaime for a couple weeks now. It's fun, but Cersei does drain me a little. She didn't used to drain me like this, I don't know what happened. She's just so much more of a mess than she used to be.

Tonight we're going to a party with Bronn, Jorah, Tyrion and Oberyn. Bronn and Jorah are staying with their families this summer, but they actually don't live that far from campus and they want us to get to know people. Jorah is the designated driver, which is nice that the rest of us can let loose.

"Have you guys ever been to a party at this frat house?" I ask the group.

"Jorah, Oberyn and I have," Bronn says. "We knew some of the guys in high school."

"Why didn't you also join?" I ask.

"It just wasn't for us," Jorah says. "The guys we know are cool, but a lot of the other guys are douchebags."

We go into the party and get a couple of drinks. Normally there's a cover charge, but they let Cersei and I in for free because we're hot girls.

I'm sitting on a gross couch in this frat house. I was talking to Cersei, but she ran off with Jaime. Jorah walks up and sits next to me on the couch.

"How are you doing?" He asks me.

"I'm okay," I say. "Just a little bored."

"Where's Cersei?"

"I don't know," I respond. "We were sitting here, talking, and then Jaime walked up to her and she went off with him."

Jorah pushes my hair behind my ear. "You know you're gorgeous, right?" He asks me.

"Thank you," I say. "That's really sweet of you." I want him to know I appreciate the compliment, but I don't want him to think I'm flirting back with him. He scoots closer to me.

"I really hope we can get to know each other better now that you live with Cersei and Jaime and we'll be going to the same school," he says to me. "You seem really cool."

"Thanks," I say. "But you know I have a boyfriend, right?"

His expression falls. "Yeah, I know," he says. "I'm not surprised, but I am disappointed."

"You're sweet," I say. "But I really do just want to be friends."

"That's fine," he says. "Just keep in mind what I said."

…

After Jorah drops us back off at the apartment, Cersei and I are hanging out in her room. Of course she got drunk, but at least it's not so bad that I have to take care of her.

"Did you have fun tonight?" She asks me.

"Yeah," I say. "But something weird did happen."

"What's that?"

"Jorah hit on me," I said. "He said I was gorgeous and that he was disappointed that I have a boyfriend."

"Yeah, I don't blame him," she says. "I'd be disappointed to if I was into you and I lost out to Jon Snow."

"Cersei, come on," I say. "Jon's wonderful. I get along with him better than anyone else I've dated. Jorah's cool, but I love Jon."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. We just all think you could do better."

"Well I don't think I could," I say. "Nor do I even want to."

Cersei rolls her eyes and rolls over to face away from me in bed. She falls asleep pretty quickly, and I end up turning off the lights and tucking her in.

I have a hard time falling asleep, so I hear Cersei sneak out of bed and leave the room when she thinks I'm asleep. Of course I'll pretend I didn't notice and I have no suspicions in the morning. She's been sneaking into Jaime's room when I've slept over since middle school, but for some reason it feels weirder now that we're adults.

I don't know why everyone seems to think I could do better than Jon. Is it because he's younger and he wasn't popular in high school? He's attractive, he's smart and he's nice. I wish people could see all of that instead of judging him.