NOTE:This fic was inspired by the in-joke of "The Bad Guys" movie where we saw Mr.Wolf and Mr.Snakes mugshot boards read their birthdays as Oct 19th 1991 and July 2nd 1965, respectively. It was mentioned by director, Pierre Perifel, that those are actually the birth dates of a couple of people in the art department and that in the books, Wolf and Snake were childhood friends and that there was a cut flashback scene in the movie to how they met in school, but I prefer the former of the situation cuz I like the idea of a young Wolf meeting an older Snake and so ever since then, I've always wondered how those two would've met in that way and mostly in a school setting and here it is!

Los Angeles, California:2004

(A background of a junior high school)

There's a rustling going on in the school. The main office is shown and human teachers and receptionists are going about their businesses. The rustling noise is heard louder, but no one pays no mind. It cuts to an office room where there's a close up of a safe and what looks like a scaly tail turning the dial of it. It's revealed to be Snake dressed in a black and white suit and he's listening close to hear the click as he turns the final combination.

*Click*

Snakes eyes light up! He uses his tail to grab the handle, pull it down and then he opens it with a big grin on his face and when he has it wide open, it reveals…….a stack of papers. Snakes face transitions to annoyed. He grabs the papers and looks over them to see if it's anything valuable.

"The answers to the S.A.T.S.!? Phfft! If they really wanna hide these, they should've put it in someplace where kids won't look! Like in the mystery meat!"

The door to the office is slightly opened and a woman's voice speaks, "Counselor, The child has arrived"

Snake freezes up in shock and turns to see the name on the door. Although it was backwards from where he was, he could make out that it read, Guidance Counselor, Snake had to think fast so he shoved the S.A.T. answers in his coat pocket, got down from the shelf where the safe was, quickly closed it with his tail and hurriedly slithered down and rummaged through the desk picking up things he could use as a disguise. He gets under the table and makeshifts his look. He makes a cough to clear his voice "Come in kid"

The door opens more wider and a young gray wolf boy with yellow eyes walks in looking down defeated. He was wearing a light blue T-shirt with a pale gray jacket and blue jeans and black converse sneakers. He closes the door, sits on the chair in front of the counselors desk just a few feet away and crosses his arms pouting. He looks up and sees no one on the chair behind the desk.

Snake pops up from behind the desk wearing a sparkly pink cowboy hat, googly eyed glasses, an orange stretchy sticky arm on the right side as his right arm and a stretching claw grab hook stick on his left side as his right arm. It was obvious he used what he found in a confiscated drawer. "Hiya kid!" he said with a grin.

The wolf boy had a dumbfounded expression. "You're not the usual guidance counselor"

"Uh, no" said Snake as the black dot pupils on his googly eyed glasses moved in opposite directions and his orange stretchy sticky arm toy waved about. He had to make an excuse quick "I'm uh, uhhhh, just filling in for him"

"You mean her" said Wolf

Snake was silent at the realization. "Right, right, my mistake" he laughed it off and his stretching claw grab hook stick on his left side hits a small lamp and he tries to adjust it with the stick while the pupils on his googly eyed glasses loop around and the orange stretchy sticky arm toy on his right side hits a metal file cabinet. Snake sees this and moves his body around to get it off, the stretchy sticky arm flies off and sticks to his face. He secretly uses his tail to use the gripping hand controls of his stretching claw grab stick to remove it. He struggles a bit, but eventually gets it off. He lets out a breath. He goes back to addressing the young wolf smiling "So" one pupil from the googly eyed glasses moves "Whatcha in for?"

Wolf was still dumbfounded by this new "guidance counselor", but despite his oddities, he told him his story. He sighs, lounges back with his arms and crosses his legs avoiding eye contact since he's been through this one too many times, and sometimes called in for things he didn't do, so it was just casual for him "Um, well, I just wanted to hang out with these guys during recess and of course, once I walked over they all stopped laughing over whatever and just stared at me like I was some psycho killer with a chainsaw"

As Wolf went on, Snake listened for a bit and then quietly opened drawers on the desk with his tail looking for anything valuable to rob. He found some loose change and shoved 'em in his coat all without Wolf noticing as he continued his story "Then the other guy said "Hey! Why don't you go blow down a house or something!" and honestly, that really got to me" Snake opened a bottom drawer and saw a SpongeBob SquarePants pez dispenser. His eyes widened with joy and he grabbed it with his tail and shook it to listen for any candy left inside, to his delight, there was some left. "So then I punched the guy in the face"

"WHAT!?" shrieked Snake as he dropped the pez dispenser making a small click sound as it hit the floor and the pupils on his googly eyed glasses bounced around. Then he looked toward Wolf and said enthusiastically "Really!?". Wolf was surprised to hear the guidance counselor proud of his violent tendencies? Snake remembered he wasn't supposed to support this kind of immoral behavior, so he shook his head vigorously, swiftly picked up the SpongeBob SquarePants pez dispenser with his tail, hid it in his coat and cleared his throat and said sternly "I mean, really!?" as the pupil on the left lens of the googly eyed glasses slide up and down a few times before stopping.

Wolf was staring at this guy like he was crazy.

Snake put his "hands" together then to his face as he sighed. "Look kid" he lowered his "hands" from his face "These punks are gonna give you a hard time and the next time you feel like doing somethin' about it, don't punch 'em in the face…….bite 'em!"

"Huh!?" exclaimed Wolf

Snake realized he screwed up again "I mean, uh!" he let his "arms" free and the pupil on the left lens jumps up and was stuck there while his orange stretchy sticky arm toy on his right side flew up onto the hanging ceiling light and gets stuck to it, but Snake ignores it this time and just waves his stretching claw grab hook stick on his left side around while continuing his talk with Wolf. Wolf squints his eyes suspiciously at the "guidance counselor". "What I'm saying is, when life gives you lemons, squeeze it in someone's eyes! I mean! Uh!? Sticks and stones may break your bones, but so can a speeding truck when you run someone over with it! I mean! Uh!? Every cloud has a silver lining, that means a storm is coming and hope the good Lord strikes 'em! I mean! Uh!? Uh!?" Snake looks up and finally tries to get the orange stretchy sticky arm toy on his right side off the hanging ceiling light by moving his body around.

Wolf stepped off his chair and slowly approached the "guidance counselor" still suspiciously glaring at him. Snake doesn't notice and babbles on with his zig-zagging advice "On that note, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you", but since you punched the guy I guess that means you want them to punch you too" grunts and mutters under his breath "No! No! No! What do I say!?". He groaned and stretched harder cuz the orange stretchy sticky arm toy on his right side was really stuck on the hanging ceiling light and nothing Snake did could yank it off and it was just making the hanging ceiling light dangle. "Bottom line is, "Every dog has his day" -or wolf! In your case, just to be politically correct not that I'm excluding certain canines here cuz I'm an honest-" tugs at the orange stretchy sticky arm toy on the hanging ceiling light harder. Snake gets fed up and vigorously wiggles himself around "-AND UNDERSTANDING GUIDANCE COUNSELOR WHO HELPS WITH THE YOUNG MINDS OF TOMOR-"

He froze and saw the teen wolf with a viscous look on his face staring right at him from across the desk with his paws on the desk leaning towards him. Snake was actually afraid and was backed up in fear. "Is there….is there….something in my teeth?" he said quietly. The orange stretchy sticky arm toy on his right side, at last, lost its stickiness and fell limply on top of Snakes sparkly pink cowboy hat making the pupil on the left lens of the googly eyed glasses drop down.

Wolf squints his eyes leaning closer to the "guidance counselor" as Snake leans further back. He swiftly snatched off the googly eyed glasses as he said, "AHA!". This made the rest of Snakes disguise fall off of him as well as the loose change and the SpongeBob SquarePants pez dispenser on the floor revealing himself as a snake in a black and white suit. Wolf and Snake look down at the fallen junk that just fell and Wolf picks up the SpongeBob pez dispenser and looks back at Snake. Snake just nervously chuckles.

Wolf growls and lunges at Snake.

Wolf wrestles Snake to hold him down. Snake mumbles as he tries to push off Wolf from him. Behind the desk, we can see parts of Wolf and Snake sometimes popping out as they continue to fight.

"Don't think just cuz you're a kid I'm gonna go easy on you!" screamed Snake

We hear a chop

"OW! Did you just bite me!?"

More roughhousing sounds are heard and the desk gets pushed over where we see the two stuck in a fight pose with Wolf holding down Snake with both his paws gripped on his throat, his right leg stretched out and his left leg stepping on Snakes body to keep him still. Snake was using his tail to press himself against the wall behind Wolf to keep himself from being held down more and both were bearing their fangs and lowly growling at each other with Hell in their eyes.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. "Excuse me! Is everything alright in there!?" said a female voice.

Wolf and Snake were still in their position when they heard that, but now, both were scared and confused. They darted their eyes towards each other in unison. What were they supposed to do!? There was a criminal reptile in the school robbing the place and Wolf was already in trouble!? The door was slowly opening "What's goin' on in there!?"

Wolf quickly threw Snake behind the flipped over desk next to them and placed his left paw on it with his other paw resting on his hip and his legs slightly crossed trying to look cool. He cleans up his muzzle with his paw and cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah! Everything's fine" said Wolf.

A human woman peeked her head inside "Are you su-" before she could say another word, she noticed the teen wolf and gasped hiding half her face from the door. Like everyone else, she too feared Wolf. Wolf darted his eyes to the fallen desk and the mess on the floor from his scuffle with Snake.

"Oh this!?" he said and waved a dismissive paw "Yeah, this was nothing" he struggled to some up with a story. During that moment, Snake was quietly getting up after being brutally thrown against the wall behind the fallen desk and was using his tail to smooth out his headache and as he was coming into consciousness, he sees the teen wolf talking to the lady "See uh, there was a fly….and uh….the counselor tried to" swooshes his paw in the air "swat it and uh…….uhhhhhhhh" looks around the mess. Snake was confused. This kid was actually covering for him!? "He got carried away" he flashes a fanged grin at the lady to see if she bought it. The lady dashes away making frightened "whooping" noises without even questioning where the guidance counselor was. Wolf breathes a sigh of relief and slides down with his back against the fallen over desk to the floor. That was too close for him.

"That was some performance there kid"

Wolf turned to face the snake coming out from behind the fallen desk and towards him.

"Sorry I don't have a bouquet to give for that though" he chuckles

Wolf wasn't haven't any of this sarcasm. "Could you just take whatever you wanted and get lost already!"

"Say that reminds me," points to Wolf with his tail "why didn't you rat me out kid!?" points to himself with his tail "I'm a notorious criminal! I've done terrible, horrible, despicable, rotten things like:Eating all the pets at Mr.Ho's pet shop! Then trying to eat Mr.Ho himself! And then trying to eat the doctor who tried to save him!" Wolfs eyes were widened with horror as Snake continued on "And then trying to eat the policeman who tried to save the doctor who tried to save Mr.Ho! And trying to eat the-"

"OKAY!" interrupted Wolf frantically "I don't wanna hear the whole novel!"

Snake stops seeing it's disturbing Wolf "Alright fine, but still, why!?"

"Because…." Wolf looks down defeatedly "Because I'm in enough trouble as it is. I get called in here practically everyday and most of the time, it's not my fault!" Snake listened close to what Wolf was saying looking concerned "Whenever somethings missing, or someone's hurt, or a prank was set, all fingers point to me!" Snake actually felt bad for the teen wolf. "I never start these things, they do! When I try to fight back, I'm in the wrong! So what are they gonna think when they catch me with a criminal!? They won't think I'm in danger, but that I'm conspiring with them! They'll just jump to conclusions cuz we're both predictors that everyone's afraid of and are up to no good" Wolf sighs and gently hits his head against the fallen desk.

Snake looked at Wolf and felt what he thought he'd never feel. Empathy. He saw Wolf looked like the world was punching him in the face and that he (Wolf) couldn't do anything about it. Like he had just given up on life and that sucked. He had to say something to console him. It's the least he could do since Wolf practically "saved" his tail.

"Kid, I know how you feel". Wolf turned to look at him "Yes, being a predator stinks cuz of course, we're the "monsters" of the animal kingdom and we send people running like chickens, but these are the cards we were given, so we might as well play 'em!" Wolf looked intrigued by that statement "Who knows? Maybe if we play those cards right, we can win the whole pot?" gives Wolf a sneaky smile, but he was still confused.

"You actually like playing the role of the bad guy?" asked Wolf

"Why not!?" said Snake "Everyone likes the bad guys in the story! Heck! More so than the heroes!" Snake gets pumped from the explanation "It shows you got character, the thrills," rolls the tip of his tail in a fist formation "the power!"

"But no one likes you!"

"If that's the case than why is my face on the cover of every newspaper and News Break? Don't you see! We can use this fear we possess to our advantage!"

"Uh, we!?"

"Yeah!" Snake coils himself around Wolf and uses the tip of his tail to wave it in front of him "Think about it kid, if you're smart and use what you got to get what you want by scaring the living daylights outta those suckers and make a quick get away, anything's possible!"

Wolf was still unsure "But-"

Snake interrupts him and moves his face towards his own face with his tail and shouts, "Listen to me kid! No matter what those punks say or do to you, you are better than you think you are!" moves closer on Wolfs face and whispers in a serious tone "Don't make them think you aren't!"

Wolf could not believe what he was hearing, a hardened criminal was giving him good life advice. No one's ever said anything nice to him. Heck! It was the first time he heard an adult tell him something like this. Even the real guidance counselor just sped up their conversations cuz she was too scared to be left alone with him and tried to rush him out the door while giving him vague advice! But to hear this heartfelt message coming from someone who's a "bad guy" and yet understands the hardships they go through, that meant something.

"Ok," said Wolf thinking about it "I'll…….try"

Snake let's Wolfs head free him from his tail grasp and says reassuringly, "You see kid, what I tell ya? There's no such thing as bad publicity! You just gotta make your mark in this world and show people you aren't afraid!"

Wolf scoffed at that "Pfft! I'm never afraid!" he said smoothly "Even the gym coach is afraid of me and he's 10 times my height!"

Snake thought that was funny "What a dope!"

They both laughed for a moment and then calmly sighed in unison as they relaxed.

"Excuse me a moment" Snake slithers out the office and all was quiet for a second.

"SNAKE!" screamed a woman's voice.

More screams were heard as well as objects dropped, papers flown in the air that some flew in the guidance counselors office and footsteps running and doors slamming. Wolf chuckled at the catastrophe from Snakes mere presence of it. He then got up, straightened up his jacket and walked out the office. He stood by Snakes side and both proudly look at the empty and messy main office.

Wolf rested his elbow onto Snake leaning against him with a leg crossed in front of him "Boy," he said smugly. "that was some performance there Snakey". The two laughed and walked through the main office together.

"Hey! I almost forgot!" said Wolf and then he walked in front of Snake and stopped to face him. "What did you steal from the guidance counselors office?"

"Oh! Phfft!" Snake waves a dismissive tail looking all slick "It was nothing, I was just passing through when I noticed the safe from the window and snuck in" he puts his tail in his coat pocket to show him the S.A.T. answers. "It was just-" it felt empty. Why did it feel empty? Snake looked confused. He felt around some more and got nuthin'. He looked inside and rummaged around and to his shock. It was empty! The S.A.T. answers were gone! How was this possible!? Snake begin to panic and felt himself all over "WHERE IS IT!? Holy smokes! My prints were all over it! What if someone finds it and-" he looks at Wolf who was just staring at him…….smiling. "What are you smiling about!?"

Wolf reaches into his coat pocket and slowly pulls out some familiar papers. With a smug look he holds 'em up and says slyly "Looking for these?"

Snake was awestruck with his eyes bugged out and jaw dropped. He slowly pointed his tail at him and said. "How did-How did you get those!?"

Wolf kept his smug look and raised an eyebrow

Snake then realized something. We get a fast zoom-in on Snakes eye and we see the scene of Wolf leaning in towards Snake in the guidance counselor's office and him backed up in fear. Before Wolf attacked Snake knocking the desk over to fight him, Wolf noticed the S.A.T. answers from Snakes coat pocket and grabbed it as he took of his googly eyed glasses, making his whole disguise fall and then lunged himself on Snake resulting in their fight. We get a quick zoom-out on Snakes eye and he gasps in shock.

Wolf crossed his arms in front of him and grinned with all his fangs.

Snake points to Wolf with his tail "You!" he said sternly "You little thief! I'm, I'm……." rests his tail to his face and makes a big eyed happy teary expression "So proud of you!"

"Oh stop!" said Wolf pretending to be coy and waving dismissive paw.

"How'd you do that!? That was pretty impressive!"

"Years of practice! You would not believe the things I took from my classmates and teachers that they still don't know about!" Wolf puts away the S.A.T. answers back in his coat pocket and takes out a Rolex watch to show off to Snake. He dangles it around and says, "Snagged this off my math teacher after he made me look bad in class for answering a problem wrong"

Snakes eyes were dazzled by both the watch and the master thievery. Wolf put the watch away and reached into his pocket to toss Snake the SpongeBob pez dispenser. Snake reflexed quickly and caught it with his tail. He stared at it and then back at Wolf. Wolf was smiling at him as if to say that it's a gift. Snake seemed to get the message and put it in his coat pocket. They both continued to walk through the main office together.

"Tell you what kid" said Snake. "After you graduate" mutters under his breath "or drop out" goes back to audible speaking "You can join me in on all this fun, we'll rob push-pops in every gas station in town! Or if you prefer, like the ol' fashioned heist flicks, we'll probably get a crew"

"Hmm, I'll think about it" said Wolf "But if I do, we're gonna need a crew like a master of disguise cuz what you did back there, was straight outta a vaudeville act"

Snake felt offended. "Hey! I work with what I got! Improvise!"

"And we need a hacker, every heist gang has to have a hacker!"

"Smart"

"Also, the muscle!"

"Can't we save the trouble and double you with that? I mean, why else were you in my office?"

"The real guidance counselor's office!"

"Whatever"

"Besides, I'd rather be the getaway driver! Cuz I've been watching The Fast and the Furious and I think I can do some of those moves and-"

As Wolf continued to talk, his voice was trailing off to Snake when they walked into a trophy room where he eyes something out of view from a tall glass trophy case and his eyes light up and he makes a big smile. He interrupts Wolf by saying, "Hello beautiful". He slithers up the case and Wolf stops walking as he eyes him with his paws in his pockets and Snake disappears from view. We hear a tapping noise on the glass then a scratching noise. A big circular glass shape falls on the ground and shatters, but Wolf still keeps his sights on Snake off screen from view. Next we hear a gnawing sound as Wolf widens his eyes in shock. Finally, we hear a loud gulp and a satisfied "Ah". There's a pause and Snake slithers back down smacking his lips while smiling.

He slowly turns to Wolf keeping his smile, looks at him for a good moment and then says, "Well kid, when you've made up your mind, find me at any robbery you hear on the news or follow the police sirens. See ya!" He slithers away and as his long body passes by Wolf, Wolf notices a large trophy shaped lump in his mid section and his irises were still shrunk in shock as they follow where it goes. Wolf then laughs about it to himself. He looks up at the trophy case with his paws on his hips and sees the empty dust outlined spot of the top where the trophy used to be along with the circular cut out hole from the glass. He chuckles. He turns and sees Snake is exiting the door to the outside and once Snake was out, Wolf ran toward the door and called out, "Hey!"

Snake stops slithering and turns around.

Wolf gently strokes the door and nervously scratches the back of his head avoiding looking at Snake shyly "Um, I just wanted to say……." looks at Snake and smiles "thanks for saying what you said back there, you know, about me being better than I think I am and stuff. It meant a lot" laughs nervously.

Snake warmly smiled back "No problem kid" he salutes with his tail and slithers off. Wolf watches him leave smiling. He was glad he met someone who didn't cower in fear of him and instead actually listened to him, even if they were a hardened criminal. He thought Snake was a sweetheart. He breathed a sigh of content and closed the door.

————————

Years went by and after suffering through years of being looked at as a "monster", Wolf decided to partner up with Mr.Snake and engage in criminal activities (ex.robbing push-pops in every gas station in town) with him. They became the best of friends where it brought new meaning to the term "thick as thieves". As suggested, they gained new members along the way:A master of disguise (a shark), a hacker (a tarantula) and the muscle (a piranha). All together they were notoriously named The Bad Guys.